You are not allowed to attend my funeral.
"Sigh..." I sighed, "Just pretend."
Xiang Zhi chuckled: "Well, you did a pretty good job of pretending."
I sighed again: "Alas, such good intentions cannot be ignored."
Xiangzhi raised an eyelid: "You know?"
I took a bite of my duck leg and rolled my eyes at him: "I'm not stupid. Besides, do you even know what you're doing?"
“Of course,” he gently rubbed his fingertips, “this is my own choice, of course I know it.”
“Alright,” I nodded, “I’m not an expert in human affairs, but I do know about shady dealings. If you need my help, you can come to the Imperial Observatory to find me.”
“Okay,” he nodded, and bowed to me in a proper manner, “Then thank you in advance.”
After the guests left in rows and rows and returned to the banquet, all that was left was leftovers and cold scraps...
The butler bowed to me and said, "Miss, the master is in the inner courtyard. Please leave this place to the servants to clean."
I nodded, then turned to Xiangzhi and asked, "And you?"
“I’ll stay,” he said calmly, “to do what I’m supposed to do.”
“Alright,” I went straight to the inner courtyard. The prime minister had already brewed tea and naturally poured me a cup of tea, placing it on the empty seat next to him.
I naturally went over and sat down next to him, took a sip of tea, and exclaimed, "This is truly excellent tea!"
"Heh, if you like it, bring some to the Imperial Observatory later."
"Okay!" I nodded. "I won't stand on ceremony."
Muli took my hand under the table and rubbed it gently: "How are you? Tired?"
"I'm so tired, I can't take it anymore! I never knew a big family would have so many problems!"
The prime minister snorted coldly: "Hmph, you're already tired from such a small banquet?"
"A small banquet?" I straightened up. "That's the limit for someone like me who lives outside the secular world!"
"Heh," the prime minister chuckled again, "I know you're a recluse, there's no need to keep emphasizing it."
"Hehe," I said to the Prime Minister with a simple smile, "I know you're the best, Uncle Prime Minister."
"Oh," the prime minister laughed exaggeratedly, "you can even speak in mortal language?"
"Hey, you flatter me, Uncle Xiang."
After saying that, the two of them looked at each other and burst into laughter.
I slept very soundly that night.
In my dream, I chased a man to the ancestral hall. Then I turned around and shrank. I chased after a paper dragonfly in front of me, and then, shamefully, I fell down and started crying.
The boy holding the paper dragonfly immediately came over and helped me up, asking with concern, "Xiaoyi, are you alright? Here, have the paper dragonfly. I'll make you lots and lots more, okay?"
I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly burst into tears, because the person who comforted and cared for me was the person in the portrait hanging next to me—Aizawa.
I went to the ancestral hall alone. The door of the ancestral hall was pushed open in the deep darkness of the night, and a soft, low groan was heard.
It seems very heavy.
I stepped into the Xiang family ancestral hall. The memorial tablets stood upright, and the eternal lamps burned peacefully. As I walked past the rows of tablets, it was as if I were witnessing a century-old history of tradition. Suddenly, I understood why there was no portrait of Xiang Qi in the ancestral hall, but instead, my portrait was hung next to Xiang Ze's...
A century of heritage, its spirit is firmly established.
I walked back to the wall with the paintings hanging there, and only then did I realize that the face in Aizawa's portrait was turned towards me, as if it were a replay of the scene in my dream where he was gazing at me tenderly...
No one can fake it to make it to the end; their inner strength is already set...
At this moment, the door of the ancestral hall was opened again, and I heard someone enter. I went out and saw the prime minister wearing an outer robe.
"Xu Yi?" He was somewhat surprised: "Why are you running to the ancestral hall at this hour instead of sleeping?"
"I'm asleep," I confessed. "I dreamt about Aizawa."
"Hmm," the prime minister gave a faint "hmm," then took out three incense sticks, lit them, and placed them in the incense burner: "I dreamed of him too. I haven't dreamed of him in a long time..."
I went there and, imitating the prime minister, offered incense, exclaiming, "What a coincidence! Isn't that right?"
"Yes!" The prime minister chuckled, "It's fate." He then waved to me, "Let's go back and continue to rest."
After saying that, he led the way out. I followed the prime minister out of the ancestral hall and strolled through the prime minister's residence. I heard him exclaim, "The stars are really nice today. I haven't seen such bright stars in a long time."
“Yes,” I nodded, “people always find it hard to look up at things that already exist.”
"Not bad, you have potential," the prime minister praised me.
"Thank you for your kind words!" I chuckled.
Then the prime minister brought up another matter: "Xu Yi, from now on, you are not allowed to come to the prime minister's residence so often, do you understand?"
I clicked my tongue, but still managed to ask, "Why?"
“A-Shi has passed the imperial examination and will soon be returning to the palace. As I am still an official outside the capital, I must maintain proper decorum. Therefore, you are not allowed to come to the Prime Minister’s residence at will from now on.”
"Sigh..." I sighed deeply. "Is it necessary? Isn't there a second option?"
"No, and it can't be."
"Sigh..." I sighed again, "Happy days are always too short."
"Life expectancy of forty is rare since ancient times, how many decades is enough to celebrate?" The prime minister looked up and touched my hair: "The affairs of this world are inherently difficult to navigate and difficult to continue."
“I understand, Uncle Xiang,” I nodded, “I will remember your words.”
“Okay, good boy,” he nodded, withdrew his hand, and walked back into the inner courtyard. “From now on, if you have any problems, you can come to Xiangzhi. If I’m here, he will tell me; if I’m not…”
He didn't finish his sentence, but I heard it all, and tears instantly streamed down my face again. I softly replied, "I...I understand."
When we reached the inner courtyard, he clasped his hands together and looked at me again, saying, "When I die, you are not allowed to attend my funeral. Do you understand?"
Having already cried, I nodded and said, "I understand, I will be good."
"Very good, go back to sleep."
I gave him a proper bow and said goodbye, "Uncle, take care."
"Of course, I know." He then turned and went back to his room to rest.
I walked back to the side room of the main courtyard and buried myself in Mu Li's arms. His voice was gentle: "You're back?"
"Hmm." I nodded listlessly.
He seemed to know where my silence was stemming, so he stroked the hair behind my back and said, "Some things must be done; some people, once remembered, are gone forever."
"Yes, I know."
When I got up the next day, even though I got up very early, the person at the head of the table had already gone to court.
It feels like I've lost another loving elder.
I lost my few friends before, and now I've lost my few elders...
It seems like I'm constantly losing...
This left me speechless.
Ah Shi came over and took my hand. His eyes showed some pity as he looked at me, but he still smiled and said, "Auntie, let's go back to the palace."
“Okay,” I nodded, “Let’s go back to the palace.”
Ah Shi led me slowly back to the palace. The warmth from his palm kept radiating through me, gradually warming my cold body and mind.
He was very determined and never let go of my hand, just as he never relaxed his grip on the difficult problem I had given him.
I couldn't help but feel cowardly, which made me even more embarrassed to face him: "Thank you for your hard work, Ah Shi."
“It’s alright,” he said in a light voice. “With my aunt here with me, I feel much better; and she can stay with me for a long time, so I feel at peace.”
But I had already foreseen the separation, yet at this moment I chose to nod: "Yes, of course."
Ah Shiyi escorted me back to the Imperial Observatory and then left. The emperor will issue an edict to give him an official position tomorrow, and there are many things to take care of.
As for Mu Li, he spent the entire day at the Prime Minister's residence yesterday and now needs to return to the Imperial Guard to handle some matters.
When I returned to the Imperial Observatory, neither Wu Qing nor Bao He were there. I suddenly realized that I had become another director.
Now I finally understand why he left without hesitation after noticing my growth.
I sat alone in the main courtyard of the Imperial Observatory, brewing tea for myself. I felt both at peace and uneasy.
Quiet, because I am the only one in the courtyard; not quiet, because I am still in the mortal world...
I took a deep breath and suddenly realized I had to leave.
Then the shadow in the corner slowly crept over and squatted down beside me, as if she had also sensed my loneliness.
"Shadow, tell me, what is the purpose of a person's life, struggling and struggling in the mortal world?"
The shadow shook its head: "I don't know. I was born knowing only how to eat. First I ate weeds and grains, then I ate food cooked by people, then I ate desires and resentment, and then I ate magic power... I have never thought about why I eat, or what would happen if I didn't eat. I have always been like this, and I have never changed."
"Haha, then in that case, you're more suited for cultivation than anyone else!"
The shadow shook its head: "The supervisor said that someone like me, who doesn't think about anything and only follows instincts, can't be cultivated."
Why?
“Because I have no ideas and I don’t reflect, the supervisor said I’m missing the most important link, so I can’t be fixed.”
"After all these years, have you gained any other insights?"
"No, I don't even know what the word 'comprehension' means or what it represents."
"Then where did all the magic power you consumed go?"
"I don't know either. My body feels like a hole that can't be filled. It's always empty, like nothing can be stored inside, so I don't know where the food I eat goes."
"Well, actually it's good this way, and you've already learned to control yourself from eating indiscriminately, haven't you?"
"I've just been feeling empty for too long, and I've gotten used to this feeling of emptiness. But I still want to eat, it's just that the supervisor said I have to be obedient, so..."
"Yes!" I nodded. "At least you've learned to be obedient, right?"
"Hmm..." Shadow hesitated for a while, "I don't know, I have no idea. Since you say I've learned it, then I'll learn it."
“Shadow,” I patted her head, “you’re a girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes!” Shadow’s voice was somewhat pleased: “You’re the only one who says I’m a girl. Most of them say I’m a monster. Jian Zheng even said I have no gender.”
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