24 Chapter 24
Cold War
As night falls, the lights in the library remain bright.
The three of them came to the study room as usual, each opened their book, and their pens rustled on the paper. Time passed quietly. About half an hour later, Liao Yishen pushed the door open and walked in.
"Where did you go yesterday?" Jiang Xun looked up and asked, still writing.
Liao Yishen's gaze passed Jiang Xun and landed on Sang Xinqi's drooping hair. "Something happened at home."
Jiang Xun said "hmm" softly and didn't ask any more questions.
Sang Xinqi kept her head down, her pencil scratching a few meaningless lines across her exercise book. Liao Yishen sat down beside her, taking out his textbook with a little more force than usual.
Sang Xinqi was in a state of confusion at the moment. The decision to study abroad and Liao Yishen's lack of news yesterday were intertwined in her mind, making her thoughts a mess.
The tip of the pen suddenly poked a small hole in the paper and she slammed the book shut.
"Go home early today," she said, her voice a little tense.
Two doubtful glances came at the same time. Jiang Xun's gaze moved back and forth between the two, and finally fixed on Liao Yishen, his eyes full of the questioning "Are you in trouble?"
Before Liao Yishen could respond, he heard her unquestionable tone, "Jiang Xun, you go first."
"Huh?" Jiang Xun's eyes widened dramatically. Seeing no response, he could only pack up his bag in frustration. "Alright, alright, I'm leaving."
His movements were incredibly fast and he disappeared out the door in the blink of an eye.
In the darkness of the night, the two stood on the side of the road. Liao Yishen was keenly aware of the low pressure surrounding her. "What's wrong?"
Sang Xinqi stared at the two people's shadows, which were sometimes long and sometimes short under the streetlight, with a stuffy feeling like cotton wool in her chest. "It's okay."
"Yesterday..." Liao Yishen paused, "was the anniversary of my father's death."
Sang Xinqi's steps suddenly stopped. Under the dim streetlight, she saw the tense lines on his face. Her throat suddenly tightened. "I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
"Five years," Liao Yishen looked up at the dark night sky, his voice as soft as a gust of wind, "He was a policeman, and when he was chasing a fugitive..."
The unfinished words disappeared in the night wind.
Sang Xinqi's heart felt like it was being gripped by an invisible hand, a sour feeling spreading from her nose to her eyes. She suddenly opened her arms and wrapped them around his waist, pressing her cheek against his heaving chest. "Uncle is a hero."
Liao Yishen rested his chin on the top of her head and let out an almost inaudible sigh, "Yes, everyone's hero."
His arms slowly tightened, "Besides me and Mom, he's always on the case, always chasing the murderer..."
"No," Sang Xinqi raised his head, the streetlights reflecting tiny dots of light in his eyes, "He must..."
"I know," Liao Yishen interrupted her, his fingertips gently stroking the corners of her eyes, "I just don't want to accept it."
The night wind blew away his unfinished words, and also blew away the tears that were hanging in the corners of Sang Xinqi's eyes because she felt sorry for him.
As the night deepened, the streetlights cast mottled shadows on the two of them. Liao Yishen gently squeezed her palm, "So I didn't ignore you on purpose yesterday."
Sang Xinqi uttered a low "hmm," as if her throat was blocked by something.
She wanted to tell him about going abroad, but she swallowed the words back when they came to her lips.
"Let's go eat something," Liao Yishen noticed her silence and lowered his voice.
Sang Xinqi nodded, temporarily putting her worries behind her. She suddenly looked up and asked, "Liao Yishen, do you think our family is quite happy?"
Liao Yishen was stunned, remembering the heartwarming scene he saw when he last visited her house - her father was busy in the kitchen, her mother was helping him with a smile, and the whole house was filled with the aroma of food.
"Actually, my parents are divorced," Sang Xinqi's words made him stop abruptly.
"What?" Liao Yishen was incredulous. "But they look..."
"They're very loving, aren't they?" Sang Xinqi pushed open the door of the rice noodle shop, and the hot air hit her face. "Everyone says so."
She expertly ordered two bowls of their signature rice noodles. "Before they divorced, they argued every day, but now they can get along peacefully."
Liao Yishen watched her pour chili oil into the bowl, the red oil slowly spreading on the soup. "So, is there a curse on that marriage certificate?"
Sang Xinqi was amused. "They have their own way of getting along. As long as they don't make things difficult for me, that's fine."
After dinner, Liao Yishen sent her downstairs to her home. They said goodbye and Liao Yishen rubbed the top of her head. "See you tomorrow."
Sang Xinqi's heart suddenly felt sour, and she said, "See you tomorrow."
Pushing open the door, under the warm yellow light of the living room, her parents were snuggling on the sofa watching TV. Seeing her daughter come back, her mother hurriedly got up from her father's arms, causing Sang Xinqi to raise an eyebrow, "Mom, there's no need to hide, I'm used to it."
Mother Sang glared at her and said, "You kid."
Sang Xinqi returned to the room with a smile, but the flyers for the IELTS training class and the brochure for the design school on the desk were particularly eye-catching.
She stared blankly at the color page with the Tower Bridge on it—twelve hours of time difference, over eight thousand kilometers of distance, and the good morning and good night messages across the screen...
She couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to be in a long-distance relationship, let alone how to break up. Her fingertips unconsciously stroked the screen of her phone. On the lock screen was a photo of the two of them at the entrance of the library last week. Liao Yishen was standing behind her, his chin resting on the top of her head, and the corners of his mouth had the curve that she was most familiar with.
In just one day, her heart had made the decision for her.
Between love and dreams, she subconsciously chose dreams.
Time passed as usual. Sang Xinqi buried her thoughts deep in her heart, but made her choice through actions.
The once unbreakable after-school library appointments were now always postponed by her, using the excuse of "preparing for a competition." Instead, she was seen rushing to her IELTS training class after school every day.
As the calendar turned, the Gaokao (National College Entrance Examination) drew closer. She never had the courage to confess to Liao Yishen, and could only console herself by saying, "I'll tell you after the exam is over." This thought was like a thorn, piercing her with pain every time she thought of it—she knew it was selfish and cruel.
-
The setting sun stretched their shadows very long. Jiang Xun suddenly grabbed Liao Yishen's sleeve and said, "Brother Liao, is that Sangsang?"
Following his gaze, I saw a familiar figure pushing open the glass door of the IELTS institution. The girl's ponytail swayed, and she disappeared around the corner of the stairs in a blink of an eye.
"It seems so," Liao Yishen's voice was a little tense.
The two stood silently across the street, the shadow of the sycamore tree falling on Liao Yishen's face, making it impossible to see his expression.
Jiang Xun scratched his head. "Why did she go to the IELTS institution?"
Liao Yishen's fingers, which were gripping the strap of his schoolbag, turned slightly white. A terrible guess was growing wildly in his heart, but he didn't dare to think about it too much.
"Let's go in and ask!" Jiang Xun raised his leg to cross the road, but was pulled back.
"Don't go," Liao Yishen's voice was soft, but with unquestionable determination.
Jiang Xun's eyes widened in confusion, "Why?"
Liao Yishen turned and walked forward, "Let's go."
The May wind brought the heat of early summer. The countdown numbers for the college entrance examination in the upper right corner of the blackboard were getting smaller day by day, and the classroom was filled with a tense atmosphere.
When she returned home from school, Sang Xinqi thought that she and Liao Yishen had not seen each other for half a month, but they had chatted less during this period. She studied until eleven or twelve o'clock every day, and sometimes until one or two o'clock, so she had no time to chat at all.
Thinking that tomorrow was the weekend, she picked up her phone and stared at the screen for a while. Finally, she sent a message: "Want to go to the library to study tomorrow?"
The reply came quickly: "I have something to do tomorrow, so I can't go."
Her fingertips hovered above the screen, and she finally replied with just "Okay."
My mood instantly hit rock bottom.
Elsewhere, Liao Yishen threw his phone onto the bed and sank into the covers. He stared at the ceiling, his chest feeling heavy as if a stone was pressing down on it, making even breathing difficult.
He suddenly remembered that when he was a child, every time his father went out on a mission late at night, he would hide in the quilt holding his mobile phone, for fear of missing any call.
Later, my father passed away, and that feeling of anxiety disappeared.
But now, that familiar panic has returned.
He turned over, buried his face in the pillow, and pulled the corners of his mouth in self-mockery.
Some things seem to be slipping away quietly between my fingers.
-
After this conversation, the two seemed to be angry with each other and did not contact each other for half a month, until mid-May.
After school that day, Jiang Xun rode the tram to take Sang Xinqi through the crowd of people leaving school.
Amidst the mottled shadows of the trees, he finally couldn't help but ask, "Did you and Liao Yishen...break up?"
Sang Xinqi's fingers tightened around the strap of her schoolbag, "No."
"Are you kidding me?" Jiang Xun turned his head and glanced at her, "You two have been like this for almost a month."
In the rearview mirror, he saw her eyes lowered, her eyelashes casting a small shadow on her face.
Sang Xinqi curled her lips, "Forget it if you don't believe it."
Seeing that he couldn't get anything out of the question, Jiang Xun stopped asking.
Suddenly, he thought of something, "By the way, I saw you go to the IELTS institution some time ago. I have been wanting to ask you, but I never remembered."
Sang Xinqi's body stiffened.
My mind is in a mess.
Did Liao Yishen’s change in attitude towards her come from seeing her go to the IELTS institution?
He is so smart, he must have guessed it. Some secrets can't be kept hidden after all.
Jiang Xun's words rang in his ears, "Where have you been?"
Sang Xinqi looked at the street lights gradually lighting up in the distance and said softly, "I'm going abroad."
The electric car braked suddenly and her nose hit Jiang Xun's back hard.
Pain mixed with sourness surged up, making her eyes hot.
"When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me? What are you and Liao Yishen going to do?"
"I've decided it after the new year," she said softly, but it was like a stone hitting the water. "We'll break up after the college entrance exam."
Jiang Xun parked the car on the side of the road. The shadow of the sycamore tree enveloped the two of them. He turned to look at her with a complicated look in his eyes. "Sang Xinqi, you are so cruel."
In the twilight, she saw her trembling reflection in Jiang Xun's pupils.
"The design major at Kyoto University is also very good," he said in his final struggle.
But dreams and love are never an either-or choice.
Sang Xinqi looked at the last rays of sunset in the sky and recalled how Liao Yishen's slender fingers brushed across the pages when he helped her organize her notes in the library that day.
"He might have guessed it..." she said hoarsely. "You saw me go to the IELTS institute that day..."
Jiang Xun let out a long sigh.
In half a month, this youth will come to an end.
And some farewells are destined to become the most painful understandings on the road to growth.
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