25 Chapter 25
◎Let's break up!◎
The days before the college entrance exam seemed to be fast-forwarded. Sang Xinqi buried herself in a sea of questions, numbing every nerve with busyness.
Sometimes when she was doing homework late at night, the tip of her pen would suddenly leave long ink marks on the draft paper - she thought of the boy who always helped her sort out the wrong questions in the library, and how his bony fingers gently tapped on her paper, and her heart would feel like it was soaked in lemon juice, sour and wrinkled.
"Mom, this is the path I chose myself," one early morning, when Sang's mother once again stood at her door with hot milk, Sang Xinqi stared at the circle of light cast by the desk lamp on the wall.
"Sangsang, Mom wants you to be happy, but if the choices you make make you unhappy, it's better to let go," said Mom Sang, looking at her daughter.
"Mom, how could you back out at this crucial moment? I've already made my choice. Even if I'm unhappy, I'm going to keep going. After all, unhappiness is only temporary," Sang Xinqi grinned. But she didn't know that her smile was uglier than crying.
"Mom just feels sorry for you," said Mother Sang with a choked voice.
She couldn't hide her unhappiness during this period, and she felt particularly distressed.
"Mom, some choices are bound to hurt."
The day of the college entrance examination came unexpectedly.
At six o'clock in the morning, when Mother Sang lifted her quilt, the morning light had just climbed onto the windowsill.
After packing, they set off for school.
The school gate was crowded with parents with various expressions. A mother in a cheongsam was stuffing chocolate into her daughter's hand, saying, "Just treat it as a normal exam..." But then a rude scolding came from the side, "If you don't get into a key university, don't come back!"
Sang Xinqi was clutching a transparent file bag when she suddenly saw a familiar figure in the crowd. The man was wearing a simple white T-shirt.
Her steps suddenly stopped and her breathing stopped for a beat. They were actually assigned to the same school to take the exam.
"Did you bring your admission ticket?" Mother Sang's voice brought her back to reality.
When I looked up again, the figure had disappeared at the entrance of the examination room.
The cicadas' chirping was suddenly deafening. Sang Xinqi touched her chest, feeling a little stuffy and indescribable.
The time in the examination room seemed to be accelerated.
When Sang Xinqi walked into the examination room, the chirping of cicadas outside the window suddenly became distant.
The rustling sound of the pen tip sliding across the answer sheet, the rustling sound of turning the test paper, and the gentle footsteps of the invigilator are all reminders of the reality of this major test in life.
In just a few minutes, the once bustling campus fell into a strange silence, with only the humming sound of the fans turning overhead.
Outside the school gate, the scene was quite different.
Parents gathered in groups of three or four under the shade of trees, some constantly checking their watches, others pacing back and forth. Time seemed to stretch infinitely in their anxious waiting, while for the students in the exam hall, those moments of furious writing seemed like fast-forward.
"Time's up, hand in your paper," when the invigilator's voice sounded, Sang Xinqi quickly checked her name and exam number, and after confirming that there was no problem, she put it on the table and waited for the teacher to take it away.
The last exam is over, and my high school career is over!
When I walked out of the examination room, the place was crowded with students and parents.
Some people cheered and threw their review materials into the air, while others squatted in the corner and cried silently. Sang Xinqi searched the crowd for that familiar figure, but only saw her mother's gentle smile.
"Don't think about it after the exam," Mother Sang handed over the iced lemonade, "I'll take you to eat hot pot."
Sang Xinqi, "Okay."
After dinner, Sang Xinqi returned home and threw herself onto the soft bed. Her phone vibrated as messages from the class group kept popping up: [Graduation party tomorrow, everyone come!]
She stared at the screen for a long time, her fingertips hovering and falling on the keyboard, and finally replied with a simple "OK".
Outside the window, the early summer breeze gently lifted the curtains, bringing the fragrance of gardenias from the community. The tranquility at this moment was like a brief respite before the storm.
Late at night after the graduation party, the light from the game console reflected on their faces.
Jiang Xun's fingers moved swiftly on the controller, and the character on the screen jumped nimbly. He glanced at the absent-minded girl beside him and asked, "Have you really thought it through?"
"Yeah," the game character controlled by Sang Xinqi followed mechanically behind. Like her recent state, she seemed to be moving forward, but in fact she was just drifting with the flow.
Jiang Xun suddenly made a sharp turn, and the dust from the game blurred the screen. "Brother Liao is really in trouble this time."
These words were like a blunt knife, slowly cutting open her scabbed wound.
Sang Xinqi stared at the gray dust on the screen, recalling the last time in the library when Liao Yishen helped her brush away the eraser crumbs on her textbook, and the warmth of his fingertips brushed across the back of her hand.
"When do you plan to..."
"I don't know," she suddenly pressed the pause button, and the picture froze on the two game characters cuddling together, "Anyway... we haven't been in touch for over a month."
Jiang Xun put down the handle and turned to look out the window.
Under the streetlight, several moths were tirelessly beating against the lampshade. "Yesterday I asked him how he did on the exam, and he said..."
"He must have done very well in the exam," Sang Xinqi interrupted him, her voice so soft it sounded like a sigh. "Maybe he'll be the top scorer in the province."
"So you really want to give up your boyfriend who is the top scholar?" Jiang Xun asked half-jokingly, but fell silent when he saw her red eyes.
The room suddenly became eerily quiet.
Sang Xinqi threw the handle onto the carpet, the fabric muffled all the sounds, "You should go back."
"Damn it!" Jiang Xun jumped up. "Are you killing me after I've done my job?"
The girl raised her face, her eyelashes trembling slightly, but the corners of her mouth raised stubbornly, "Is it not possible?"
When Jiang Xun walked to the door, the night wind blew in with the fragrance of gardenia.
He looked back at her curled up on the floor and couldn't help but say, "Sang Xinqi, if you miss some people, you will regret it forever."
Sang Xinqi raised her fair and beautiful face, "But some opportunities only come once, and if you miss it, you'll never get it again."
"You must be wondering how I could be so cruel, but Liao Yishen and I haven't known each other for a year, and we haven't been together for long. If you say our feelings are deep, they are indeed not as deep as my love for fashion design."
Jiang Xun: “…”
Seeing her stubborn look, Jiang Xun felt bad. Why did these words sound like something spoken in anger?
"Okay, now that you've made up your mind, I won't try to persuade you anymore."
After Jiang Xun left, Sang Xinqi felt like a deflated ball and slumped on the carpet.
The moonlight shone through the gauze curtains, casting mottled scars on her body.
Sang Xinqi buried her face in her knees, her tears silently soaking her nightgown.
During this period, she wanted to give up going abroad and go find him several times. Thinking that he had not sent her a single message in the past month, the desire to give up the opportunity for him gradually faded away.
The moth outside the window finally broke its wings and landed lightly on the windowsill.
The next morning, Sang Xinqi woke up and stared at the ceiling in a daze until the vibration of her cell phone broke the silence.
The moment the screen lit up, the long-lost name made her breath stop.
[Liao Yishen: Let’s meet]
She stared at the four short words for a long time, until the screen automatically turned off. Her finger hovered over the word "good" for a long time, and finally gently dropped it.
The sun at half past ten was already scorching hot.
The moment he pushed open the door to his apartment, a familiar figure came into view. Liao Yishen was standing in the shadow of a tree, his white T-shirt slightly puffed up by the wind.
After not seeing him for a month, his jawline became more distinct, and there was a faint dark blue under his eyes.
Sang Xinqi clenched the strap of her backpack, all her prepared opening remarks stuck in her throat. Should she question his indifference? But what was her position?
"Where...to go?" The words were blown away by the wind as soon as they came out.
Liao Yishen opened the parasol and tilted it towards her. "It's all right."
They walked slowly along the tree-lined avenue, their shadows sometimes overlapping and sometimes separating among the mottled shadows of the trees.
Sang Xinqi counted the spots of light on the ground and suddenly pointed to the pavilion not far away, "Come sit down?"
"good."
The coolness of the morning dew lingered in the pavilion.
When Liao Yishen folded his umbrella, the ribs made a "swish" sound as they passed through the air.
The two of them sat down across the stone table, neither of them speaking first.
Sang Xinqi stared at the cracks on the stone table, her voice so soft she could barely hear it. "It's said online... that if a couple doesn't contact each other for a month, they're considered to have broken up."
Liao Yishen's mouth curled up into a bitter arc, "So today, are we here to make up for the breakup ceremony?"
The sunlight filtered through the gaps in the vines, casting tiny specks of light on his face. Sang Xinqi saw his clenched fists, his knuckles already white. "You asked me out."
"I didn't want to break up," Liao Yishen suddenly looked up, his eyes red. "I guessed you were going abroad, and I didn't know how to face it. I was worried that if I ignored you, you would break up, so I became a coward and ran away."
Sang Xinqi's tears suddenly fell on the stone table.
"I..."
"What about you?" Liao Yishen stared at her, "Why are you ignoring me?"
During the month without contact, he was near the IELTS institution every day. Every day when he saw her come out, he would follow her silently until she got home.
During that time, he felt like he was a stalker.
Sang Xinqi raised her tearful eyes and saw her reflection in his eyes. "Haven't you...already guessed it?"
Liao Yishen suddenly laughed, and that laugh was like broken glass piercing his heart. "Yes, I guessed it." He looked down at his palms and prayed, "I have no right to stop you from pursuing your dreams... I also don't care about international relationships..."
"Stop talking!" Sang Xinqi suddenly stood up, her skirt sweeping across the stone bench. "Liao Yishen, look at what you've become now?" Her tears couldn't stop flowing. "I don't want you to compromise like this..."
The cicadas' chirping suddenly became shrill.
"Let's break up," when these words were finally spoken, Sang Xinqi heard the sound of her heart breaking.
Liao Yishen looked at her quietly, the sunlight gilding his eyelashes. After a long moment, he nodded gently, "Okay."
This simple syllable was like a knife, severing the last connection between the two. When Sang Xinqi turned around, she saw their shadows still cuddling together on the ground, but the real people had already walked in opposite directions.
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