Zou Yang still didn't leave - oh no, he still didn't leave, he just followed me around, as if he knew me well, knowing that I would scold him harshly but would not hit him. - After all, he just helped me a lot, and he was very respectful to me from beginning to end.
"Wang Hao, you have to go, you must go." Zou Yang went around to my left side and then to my right side.
"Why do I have to go?" I glanced at him.
"Because..." Zou Yang smiled: "Li Shanman will also go..."
My head went numb for a moment, as if it had suddenly broken, and then my hands and feet also went numb, motionless.
Li Shanman, the girl I had a crush on in junior high school. She was the most popular girl in our class. Many boys, including me, liked her, including Sun Dafei, Zhang Weining, Jiang Zirui and others. When I was in junior high school, Li Shanman was always surrounded by boys. Just like Xia Xue in City High School, she was recognized as the quasi-class flower. Every class has a particularly popular girl and a particularly popular boy. - Just like, every class has a particularly bullied student.
Li Shanman is a very cute girl, she speaks softly, smiles sweetly and treats people politely, likes to wear pink clothes, wears shiny hairpins on her head, and always brushes her shoes clean. She is the goddess in the hearts of the boys in the class, and also the goddess in my heart.
However, because I was the most bullied boy in the class, Li Shanman was always very cold to me, and even deliberately kept a certain distance from me, as if I was a pool of stinking vomit left by a drunk on the street - everyone avoided me.
Once in a Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to recite the text to each other, so everyone took the opportunity to scurry around. That was the first time I was so close to Li Shanman. I carefully sat one seat away from her, pretending to recite the text attentively, but I kept glancing at her. What a beautiful girl! I sighed in my heart, her eyes sparkled like fireflies, her eyelashes were as soft and slender as bird feathers, and her face was as white and smooth as a doll...
I never expected to have such a beautiful girl, but even now, I feel very happy to be able to see her up close. As I looked at her more and more, Li Shanman finally discovered my existence and my evil intentions. She frowned slightly, showing an annoyed look, stood up with her Chinese textbook, and walked away - at least ten seats away.
There were ten seats between us, a distance of only a dozen meters, but it felt to me like ten galaxies were far away.
I don't know how many boys had the same experience as me when they were young, watching the girl they liked flirting with other boys, but they didn't even have the chance to say a word to her. It's sad to think about it. In that class, I was ten positions away from Li Shanman, ten star systems away from Li Shanman, and I cried for a full forty minutes. Later, the Chinese teacher asked me to recite the text, and I stuttered and couldn't recite a single word. The classroom was filled with mocking laughter. But what did this mean? Compared with Li Shanman's coldness and alienation towards me, what did it mean?
Even so, I was still obsessed with Li Shanman, just like a humble beggar obsessed with a noble princess. All the feelings of love that I had for three years in junior high school were placed on her alone. The plot of appearing in front of Li Shanman wearing a famous brand and driving a BMW will always exist only in my fantasy. I know, I know all this...
I poured out my love for her in my diary, describing everything about her in the most beautiful words. Until Lu Xiang took out my diary and read it aloud in a vulgar tone on the podium, making the classmates laugh so hard that Li Shanman pointed at me with a red face and said, "Don't write about me anymore, you disgusting person!"
My self-esteem was trampled on the ground, like a fish thrown on the beach, dying and waiting for death.
That was the last sentence Li Shanman said to me. She was gentle and sweet to everyone, but she was cruel and cold to me. Li Shanman never bullied me, but her indifference also tortured me. But I didn't turn back because of this. I was still obsessed with her and felt extremely happy just to see her. Even if she would show a look of disgust on her face the next second, I would still peek at her again and again like drinking poison to quench thirst.
Until I met Xia Xue in Chenggao, the girl who had the same treatment as Li Shanman in the class, but she did not stay away from me because I was bullied and excluded, but encouraged and supported me again and again, not only allowing me to get out of the haze of being bullied for three years, but also allowing me to get out of the pain that Li Shanman brought me. I thought I had forgotten Li Shanman, but when Zou Yang read this name in my ear, it still evoked the memory that I seemed to have forgotten long ago. Do I still love Li Shanman? The answer is of course no. I love Xia Xue, I love Taozi, I have two such good girls, and even...
How could I still love Li Shanman?
But I don't know why, I just want to see her again. For three years in junior high school, I was like a humble beggar secretly looking at the noble princess, and if she found out, I would get a vicious look. This time, I must look at her openly; this time, I must look at her with a smile on my face; this time, I must look at her calmly...
This time, after seeing her, I must turn around and leave gracefully, and completely bid farewell to such a painful memory!
Seeing me in a daze, Zou Yang seemed to have the answer in his mind. He whispered beside me: "Wang Hao, everyone has to pay 100 yuan for the class reunion this time, but I have already paid for you..."
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