I simply stepped back, my long hair trailing behind me, and nodded lightly, like a dragonfly skimming the water.
Everything has been fine lately, just like it has been for the past sixteen years. Everything is fine. It's just that the sunlight shining through the hall makes me dizzy.
"I will never be able to attend General Liao's memorial service." He nodded apologetically to his mother. "The general sacrificed his life for the country, and there is no one left on the frontier. Yesterday, the court issued an imperial edict, and Dongli can no longer avoid it."
"Why are you in such a hurry?" the mother asked.
“The situation at Fuqi is critical, as you know, Madam. There’s never a moment of peace at the border. In a little while longer, Dongli will have to take his leave.” He slowly turned back to me and said calmly, “I wonder if Miss Liao would like to come along?”
I?
I looked at my mother, not understanding what she meant. Who had ever said that two people who had just met could go to the battlefield together? Besides, how could my body, which could not be exposed to the elements, withstand the long, raging sands of the border?
My mother's expression could almost be described as one of utter distress. Even though I couldn't see the objects clearly, I could clearly sense her embarrassment and helplessness. For a long, long time, I waited for an answer. Compared to sixteen years, this mere moment was so brief, yet it was the most agonizing moment of my sixteen years.
My gaze shifted between him and her, but I couldn't see anything clearly. It wasn't until my mother spoke up that she finally said, "The letters your father entrusted to his trusted confidant in the army have arrived. He said that he has betrothed you to..." She lowered her head, only glancing hurriedly at Jimo every now and then, and said, "He has betrothed you to the young master of Jimo."
"Give me to him?" What does that mean, and what implications does it hold?
I slightly raised my head and looked at Ji Mo Dongli. His faint smile seemed so glaring in the mourning hall.
He finally gave a slight bow, indicating his agreement.
Unconsciously, I stepped back forcefully, my trembling elbow slamming against the sandalwood coffin. I heard my mother let out a soft cry, and when I looked in the direction of the sound, her figure blocked my already blurred vision.
I turned my head and looked at my father, who had just been disturbed, in the coffin. He had never cared about me in his life, regarding me as a monstrous child, and hadn't looked at me once for sixteen years. However, before he went to the battlefield for the last time, he suddenly remembered me, whom he had forgotten for sixteen years, and even made such a detailed promise of marriage?
But how could anyone dare to propose to someone like me?
She lowered her head, looking at her side, at her pale hands and long, pale hair. Who would have thought that this was the prime of her sixteen-year-old youth?
Ji Mo Dongli possessed a face honed by battlefields, eyes as black as night, and skin that glowed freely in the sunlight. All of this, so ordinary to most, was a luxury to me.
Perhaps she accumulated too much karma in her past life, which she couldn't repay, and thus it dragged on into this life. Otherwise, perhaps, born into a military family, I would have developed a carefree nature like my sister. But now, because of my actions, she has lost her carefree spirit.
If the Prince of Jin speaks like that, the Liao family will likely be criticized afterward. If I agree to this marriage, I'll only be burdening another person. Besides, what good will it do to have a marriage of unknown origin and destination? I've only just met him, and I'm already giving up everything to follow him just because he's not afraid of my appearance. Is it worth it? I can't bear to part with the flute and the stack of books by my bedside. With them by my side, at least I can peacefully pass the next sixteen years. What does it matter if time is wasted? Life is nothing but a fleeting dream; even with many achievements, in the end, we all return to dust. If I don't pursue anything, if I don't expect anything, I won't feel lost or heartbroken.
So I looked at him and shook my head.
I was unaware of such a thing at first, so I simply pretended it didn't happen.
His mother seemed about to say something, but he raised his hand to stop her. "It's alright. I suppose Miss Liao and Ji Mo have only just met, so it's only natural. It was Ji Mo who was being presumptuous. I'll visit you again when I've achieved something great in the future."
Blades drawn against the barbarians, horses galloping across the Tianshan Mountains—what man of Fuqi could not hope for such a fate? Even I, long isolated, know only that Fuqi's power is now weak, and its military talent is desperately lacking. My father once guarded a peaceful frontier, but now he has given his life in the process. I wonder how many more will sacrifice their lives, their lives yet to blossom, on this path of protecting their homeland, into an endless expanse of cold indifference.
He took a step forward, when his mother suddenly said, "Young Master Jimo! Yan'er is just waiting to pack her things, it won't be long. You saw what this girl looks like... she doesn't talk very well."
Indeed, my speech is quite awkward now.
“Madam, Dongli has no intention of forcing me.” His gaze gently swept across my cheek, as if to say that the beginning and end of a relationship are but fleeting moments, and he didn’t care about those brief hours. However, I didn’t care either.
Sunlight is a no-go zone for my eyesight.
He walked step by step into that empty, blinding space, and I had no choice but to lower my head.
My mother gently nudged me from behind, but I couldn't see any hope in her face that she wanted me to catch up. I was weak, and her shoving made me stumble and almost fall. I frowned and looked on; she seemed startled too.
Suddenly, my arm was gripped tightly. I turned around and saw Ji Mo Dongli, who had already stepped into the sunlight and was no longer visible to me. The wrinkles between his brows were very deep. "What is it?"
My gaze fell on his hand holding mine. I suddenly pulled my arm away, took a big step back, and my breathing became heavier without me even realizing it.
I am very afraid of being touched by others, even my mother, which makes me want to run away.
Although I don't remember what it felt like to be touched for the first time when I was born, I know clearly that everyone treated me like a plague, avoiding me at all costs. Even I myself am deeply worried about the present and the future.
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