A belated nightmare
The silence of Tomioka's house was broken by a suppressed scream late at night.
"Don't... don't kill him... I'm not... I'm not a ghost..."
Giyuu woke up almost instantly. He grabbed his Nichirin sword and rushed out of the room. The sound clearly came from Bai's bedroom. He opened the paper door. In the moonlight, Bai was struggling violently on the bed, his silver hair sticking to his cheeks with sweat, and tears kept flowing from his tightly closed eyes.
"Bai." He knelt on one knee beside the bed and gently pressed her shoulders, "Wake up."
Bai suddenly opened her eyes, her dark pupils dilated with fear. She looked at Yiyong in front of her, then looked around the familiar room, her breathing so rapid that she couldn't speak.
"It was just a dream." Yiyong's voice was low and steady.
Bai suddenly grabbed his sleeve, her fingers turning white from the force. "He's here... He said he'd kill you... He said I'd always be..." Her voice broke off, her body still trembling slightly.
Yiyong didn't pull his hand away, letting her hold it. "Dreams are all fake."
After a long while, Bai's breathing gradually calmed down. She let go of his hand and curled up to sit up. "I'm sorry for waking you."
Yiyong stood up and lit the oil lamp. The dim light dispelled some of the shadows. "Would you like some water?"
Bai shook her head and sat down on the bed, hugging her knees. The aftermath of the nightmare still flickered in her eyes.
"I can't sleep." She said softly.
Yiyong was silent for a moment, then walked out the door. "Come on."
The moonlight was bright, and the snow in the courtyard reflected a cool light. The two sat side by side under the eaves, the early spring night breeze still carrying a chill. Giyuu draped the haori over Shiro's shoulders.
"Do you often have nightmares?" Yiyong asked.
Shiro wrapped the haori tighter around her. The fabric still held Giyuu's warmth. "Occasionally."
In reality, this was almost her normal night. But tonight's dream was particularly real—Wuzan's cold laughter, the image of Yiyong lying in a pool of blood, and those eyes filled with hatred...
"I often had nightmares when I was a child." Yiyong said suddenly.
Bai turned to look at him in surprise. Yiyong rarely talked about himself.
"I dreamed about the day my sister died." His voice was calm, as if he was talking about someone else.
The two of them fell into silence, the only sound being the night wind blowing through the bamboo forest. Shiro looked up at the crescent moon in the sky. That moon always reminded her of Kokushibo and the nights she practiced swordsmanship under the moonlight.
"Giyu-senpai..." Her voice was so soft that it almost disappeared in the wind. "What is the meaning of life?"
Yiyong didn't answer immediately. He looked at the moonlit snow in the courtyard, as if thinking.
"Why do you ask that?"
Bai rested his chin on his knees, his silver hair falling on either side of his face. "Sometimes I feel like there's no point in living. Being abandoned, being used, and then dying... It's like I never existed."
Her voice was filled with deep fatigue. After becoming a ghost, she had pondered this question more than once: what was the value of her existence?
Yiyong was silent for a long time. When he spoke, his voice was even deeper than usual:
“Meaning is not something that is innate; it has to be found by oneself.”
Bai tilted his head slightly and looked at Yiyong's profile outlined by the moonlight.
"Like Xuantu," Yiyong continued, "he chose the path of protecting the weak. Although his life was short, his significance will remain in the hearts of many people forever."
This was the first time Bai heard Yiyong mention Xuantu. There was no sadness in his voice, only a calmness that came after a period of calm.
"But...what if I can't even find what I should protect?"
"Then keep looking." Yiyong turned his head, his deep blue eyes looking particularly deep in the moonlight. "As long as you're still alive, there's still a chance to find it."
Bai lowered his head, looking at his pale fingers in the moonlight. These hands had taken lives, and had also trembled helplessly in the laboratory.
"Have you found your purpose, Giyu-senpai?"
"Protection." The answer was concise and affirmative. "Protect those who can still be protected."
This sentence made Bai's heart tremble slightly. She thought of Yiyong's teachings these days - although strict, he always stopped her at the right time when she was about to give up; although he was taciturn, he always gave her guidance when she was confused.
"Can I...become that kind of person?" Her voice was uncertain.
"You have to ask yourself." Yiyong stood up and walked into the house. "It's time to rest."
Bai sat alone in the porch, wrapping his haori tighter around him. The moon had already set in the west, casting longer shadows across the courtyard.
"My own meaning..." She repeated this sentence softly.
In the distance, the chirping of early birds echoed; dawn was approaching. Bai stood up and decided to go back to sleep. This time, perhaps he could have a good dream.
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