My steps forward suddenly froze, and I turned around abruptly to look at him in disbelief, but I saw that he kept his head down and I couldn't see his expression clearly.
Even his tone was completely different from usual, so deep that no emotion could be heard.
"You...why do you say that?" I opened my mouth and it took me a long time to find my voice.
I don’t know what my actions or words caused Xiao Ding to have such a misunderstanding. Although I protected Xiao Ding because of his brother’s entrustment, I treated him as my own brother.
but.
As we get to know each other better day by day, I really like this child and I sincerely want to protect him.
It's not just because of his brother.
I never felt that he was a burden.
Looking back at what happened just now, if it weren’t for him, I would most likely be dead now, right?
"Although you didn't say it, you must be thinking this way in your heart. You always have to protect me and think about me in everything. It must be very tiring to carry around such a burden like me?" Xiao Ding continued, without any emotion in his tone.
"I didn't..." I stared at Xiao Ding, who was in a bad mood, and tried to explain, but found that my explanation was a little pale and powerless.
Looking back, I have been protecting him behind me all the way, thinking of him in everything, not allowing him to rush forward when they encountered danger, and would rather get injured than stand in front of him.
Because in his own eyes, no matter how powerful he is, he is still just a child.
He was afraid that he would suffer even a little bit of harm and fail to live up to his brother's trust.
Is there anything wrong with this?
"You've protected me like a child, but you've never considered me your teammate, your partner!" Xiao Ding's tone suddenly became excited. He raised his head, his eyes red. "I'm a man too. I don't want to be treated like a fragile object all the time. I also want to be able to protect you when you need me, and fight alongside you when you face danger."
"Who are you...who are you to decide what I should choose?!"
"I..." I looked at him hesitantly, a little confused for a moment, unable to come to my senses.
So, does he feel that I look down on him and don't treat him as my partner, and therefore feel that he is a burden?
"People around me are in danger one after another, and every time... every time you come to the rescue, sharing life and death with them. Only I..."
"I'm the only one who, once I encounter the slightest danger, will be protected by you like a turtle, and can only watch you struggle on the brink of death and get injured..."
Xiao Ding suddenly became agitated, and looked at me with eyes full of grief, anger and questioning.
"But have you ever thought about whether I really want this kind of protection?"
I stared at Xiao Ding's sudden emotion in a daze. Maybe he was so excited because he had just struggled on the verge of death, or maybe he was so excited because I almost died at the hands of the ghost corpse.
But no matter what the reason was, what he said was indeed what was in his heart.
The words that have been suppressed for a long time.
I couldn't help but think about how I had protected Xiao Ding all along. Was I too selfish?
I didn't want him to be in danger, afraid that he would lose his life if he wasn't careful, so I always wanted to protect him behind me and not let him face any danger unless it was an emergency.
Although it is not ruled out that I really like this child, all of this is more because of the promise I made to his brother. I cannot go back on my word. I must take him out safely and return him to the world he belongs to.
But what does all this have to do with Xiao Ding?
The promise I made to his brother was only between me and his brother, but Xiao Ding, there is no reason for him to be deprived of the right to choose because of my promise.
As a normal person, there is no man who lives under my protection.
When facing danger, he has the right to choose whether to retreat cowardly or bravely face the challenge. When his teammates are facing life-and-death crisis, he has the right to choose to save himself or stay and share life and death with his teammates.
However, these have always been deprived of me.
Just because I promised his brother a promise, I kidnapped the most normal rights he should have.
It turns out that I am the most selfish person.
A word of advice woke me up from my dream. I woke up almost instantly. When I looked at Xiao Ding again, there was a hint of relief in my eyes, but I remained silent.
Seeing that I remained indifferent after all he had said, Xiao Ding felt a little disappointed. After a long while, his tone finally cooled and he said, "I know you promised my brother to protect me, but from now on, I no longer need you!"
So please, treat me as your teammate, not a child who needs protection all the time.
I almost instantly translated what Xiao Ding didn't say. If it were before, I might have thought that Xiao Ding was being unreasonable, but now, I just felt that I was the one who was extremely wrong.
I suddenly smiled softly, my eyes curved warmly: "Okay."
"Even if you don't agree, I will..." Xiao Ding was still talking to himself with his head down, but suddenly realized what I said, raised his head abruptly, looked at me in disbelief, and asked dully: "You...what did you say?"
I was amused by his silly and cute look. Even though his face was still stained with blood, I repeated with a smile: "Okay."
It was a simple sentence, but Xiao Ding was confused for a long time and didn't understand it. He continued to ask dully, "What do you mean?"
"Since you don't want to be protected, then don't protect me. Be my teammate. Don't regret it if you get hurt or die out of luck." I said in a low voice.
"I will never regret it!" Xiao Ding finally reacted this time, nodded vigorously, his eyes shining like stars.
Then, Xiao Ding looked hesitantly at the coffin behind me, and asked with a hint of anticipation, "Then... can I stay with you to open the coffin?"
I was stunned, turned my head and looked at the coffin with complicated eyes, feeling a little conflicted.
If it were just me, I might open the coffin without hesitation, but now that Xiao Ding is here, I have to weigh the pros and cons.
No one knows what's inside this coffin. If something extremely dangerous pops out, we'll probably die in our current state. But if we don't open it...
As if seeing the confusion in my eyes, Xiao Ding's eyes, which were originally full of expectation, suddenly dimmed. He lowered his head again, and the expression on his face became gloomy again, with a hint of self-deprecating arc at the corner of his mouth.
I couldn't help but be stunned when I saw his expression, and instantly woke up as if I had been hit by a wake-up call.
What am I struggling with?
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