Chapter 42
"Your brother inherited more from your father and is handsome, but he inherited his brains from your mother who taught high school math. He is so smart that people are jealous, but he is also steady and not arrogant or impatient."
Seeing Yu Lei smiling as he spoke, Tang Ruxin began to become curious about Zhao Zheng.
"He's so perfect, doesn't he have any flaws?"
"Yes, he's a coward." Yu Lei lowered his head and laughed. "When it comes to elders, he knows how to soften their hearts, but when faced with difficulties from his peers, his tricks don't work, and he just runs away. Ever since kindergarten, I've beaten anyone who bullied him, and then he'd go cry and apologize to the other person's parents. In the end, it's usually the child who bullied him who gets beaten up by his parents. Of course, I get beaten up by my parents too."
Tang Ruxin hesitated for a moment, and finally said, "You, are straight?"
Yu Lei's smile instantly disappeared. He grabbed the folder on the table and slapped Tang Ruxin on the forehead, "What are you thinking about?"
"They are indeed a good match." Seeing him about to raise his hand again, Tang Ruxin hurriedly said, "Go on."
"Zhao Zheng, you're so precious to me, I've been talking about you since you were born. As soon as school is over, you're always thinking about going home to take care of your sister, and you refuse to go out and play with me anymore."
Tang Ruxin was stunned and couldn't laugh anymore.
Yu Lei chuckled and said, "See, since I didn't talk about anything that concerned you, you were so relaxed while watching the fun. Now you feel burdened, don't you?"
Tang Ruxin was silent for a moment and said, "I don't remember."
"You were only one year old, it's a miracle you can remember." Yu Lei leaned back slightly with his hands on the table. "He dragged me to see you a few times. You were so tiny back then, sleeping all day. I don't understand what was so attractive about such a little thing that would make him give up going fishing in the river with me. Then one time, you woke up and smiled at me. You had no teeth, but your smile was sweet. I guess I understood Zhao Zheng's feelings."
"Since then, I've been half-forced and half-voluntarily joined the babysitting team, along with your brother and your parents, taking care of you..."
Tang Ruxin couldn't stand it any longer. She put her hands together in a gesture of surrender, "Please skip this part. I was wrong. You are straight, straight as a rock!"
Yu Lei raised an eyebrow at her, then glanced sideways out the window and continued, "That was still the era of family planning. Your mother lost her job at school to give birth to you. Your father was also expelled from the Party, but he still had a job and an income, so the family could barely get by. Zhao Zheng helped many classmates with their homework every day to supplement the family income. I couldn't stand it, so I had to help him with it. We were both in the second grade at the time, and we already knew how to imitate others without being discovered by the teacher."
Tang Ruxin pursed her lips and said, "Why are you saying this..."
These were all things she didn't need to know, and knowing them would only add to her troubles.
"I want you to know how wonderful your family of origin is, and how much your brother and parents love you. If they were still here, the love they gave you would be no less than Tang Jiulin's. I say this because I hope you won't take them so lightly, or think they're so insignificant. They left your life too early, but it's not their fault."
Yu Lei never looked at her when he said this, and Tang Ruxin didn't look up at Yu Lei either. It seemed that they both knew that once they looked at each other, they would see the inconsolable melancholy and inconsolable pain in each other's eyes.
"Tang Jiulin didn't say that."
Yu Lei hummed softly, "I wouldn't say anything if it were me."
"What happened next?" Tang Ruxin asked.
Yu Lei was silent for a long time, then lowered his eyes to look at his hands and said:
"You know everything that happened afterwards. The gas tank in your house exploded, killing your father instantly. Your mother also died despite efforts to save her. Your brother suffered permanent brain damage from inhaling too much gas, and was taken away by your grandparents. And you were rescued from the fire and adopted by Liu Lize, now known as Tang Jiulin."
Tang Ruxin knew that Yu Lei was avoiding the most crucial information again. He was still not ready to confess everything, or rather, he would never be ready for this.
She looked at him quietly, not pressing him. She thought that if he really couldn't speak, then forget it. There was no need to push oneself to the brink of death over matters other than life and death.
Yu Lei's brows furrowed and relaxed, then furrowed again, and he nervously gnawed at the skin of his lower lip, clearly still struggling. After a moment, he let out a long breath, turned sideways to face the window, almost with his back to Tang Ruxin, and then spoke:
"On the day of the explosion, Zhao Zheng was supposed to stay at my house. I'd agreed to help people with their homework to earn money. But we had an argument, a small one... We used to get into arguments all the time. But that day, I suddenly lost my temper and kicked him out. I said some really harsh words, calling him a sissy and saying I'd always looked down on him, and so on. Anyway, I kicked him out, and pushed him into the explosion, which he could have avoided."
Yu Lei's voice was low and husky, and his speech was slow and steady. He seemed to have no emotional ups and downs, simply describing the events and people of the past in a dull and calm manner. Tang Ruxin momentarily forgot the pain of the burn on the back of her hand, and stared blankly at the stiff ends of his hair at the back of his head, which were trembling.
"Heh, what's this like? God wants to save him, but I won't let him go. He didn't have to go home, and his brain didn't have to be permanently damaged. Zhao Zheng is so smart and shrewd, he can definitely survive even without his parents, and take you with him. I don't know how...how he will live in the future with brain damage. A child without parents and with a weak brain will be bullied wherever he goes."
He paused for a long time before continuing:
"You said he was dead, and I actually breathed a sigh of relief when I heard that. For a moment, I actually thought it was better for him to be dead... rather than being treated harshly by the world where I couldn't reach him."
Yu Lei couldn't continue, and he lowered his head. From Tang Ruxin's perspective, all she could see was his shoulders and back, their lines stretched stiff and fragile, as if the slightest bit of weight would cause him to collapse.
Tang Ruxin was speechless. She couldn't really feel the difference between having a brother and not having one, but she could feel Yu Lei's guilt and pain, so real and heavy. The consequences of bickering and quarreling between children far exceeded the weight that a single child could bear.
Yu Lei had carried this burden for so many years. And she had just so easily written it off. How could it be done? Unless Zhao Zheng stood before him in good health, smiling and saying, "Forgiveness!" Otherwise, not even she, not even the gods, could do it.
It wasn't his fault, but neither was it unrelated. If Zhao Zheng were still alive, it would be hard not to resent him. After all, he was the final link that led to Zhao Zheng's presence at the explosion scene. With consequences like these, whether or not there was intentionality is meaningless. Any excuses would be feeble and offer no comfort to the injured.
Thinking of this, Tang Ruxin suddenly frowned.
"Speaking of which, it was Tang Jiulin who told me about Zhao Zheng's death. I didn't verify it."
Yu Lei turned around, and before the gloomy expression on his face faded, there was already surprise in his eyes.
"How does he know?"
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