Chapter 92
An Jing calmed down and was curled up in a corner in a daze when Bian Lu actually took out a bottle of medicine from his pocket.
"This is..." Bian Lu took out the medicine and asked him.
An Jing said weakly, "Olanzapine. My dad put me in a mental hospital a while ago because of that game. He said if I wasn't his son, I'd probably be in prison now."
"So, mental illness has become your escape from death?" Bian Lu laughed, but when he saw An Jing's haggard face, he cleared his throat and restrained his expression.
An Jing: "No, I've always tried to be a normal person."
After saying he was tired, he collapsed on the quilt again as if exhausted. Bian Lu just blinked his eyes, and An Jing's tears fell again, plopped like pearls from a broken string.
"I don't know why I'm always unhappy."
An Jing cried silently, her voice dry, and said, "I don't have any worries, but I'm sad every day. I'm not interested in anything, and I'm bored of being with everyone. I said I wanted to live on land for a while, but my father refused to agree..."
Bian Lu was stunned. He didn't expect that An Jing had this side, a broken and fragile side that was completely different from the high-spirited Teacher An.
"I can go with you." Bian Lu said softly.
An Jing chuckled softly, but his eyes were still filled with sadness. He wiped his tears with his hand and murmured, "I mean, I don't want to stay in Lanzhou anymore. I want to move my household registration to land completely. I hate it here. I don't want to live my whole life in the sea without seeing the sun."
Bian Lu was speechless and was about to say something when An Jing interrupted him again, saying, "I think I have depression, but fortunately, I don't really want to commit suicide. I just want to bask in the sun. The sun should be able to heal me."
"You have everything, you understand everything, and you can solve any problem." Bian Lu suddenly said, his voice low and depressed. He said, "In fact, people like you have achieved self-perfection and don't even need love. Am I right?"
An Jing frowned to indicate that he didn't understand.
"I mean, in front of you, I'm just like a fool. I don't help you in any way in life, and you don't even need my emotional value. Teacher An, Teacher An, I often feel like a child in front of you."
Bian Lu said it lightly, but An Jing sensed a different emotion in it, something similar to worship mixed with love, a very vain thing.
"You think too highly of me," An Jing replied. "Actually, my background is just a little better than yours. I'm just like you. In fact, my troubles are even more complex and abstract."
"Is that so?" Bian Lu gave a bitter laugh. He suddenly grabbed An Jing's wrist and asked, "Do you think that I'm just playing around with all your previous flirtations, just like everyone else you've flirted with before?"
His action scared An Jing back tears. He suddenly realized and laughed, "Are you treating me as the benchmark of your life? Bian Lu, I guessed right, you treat me as your imaginary enemy."
“…”Yes, Bian Lu envied An Jing.
His background, his education, his resume; Bian Lu knew that An Jing was not a good person, which made his subtle affection for Teacher An also contain a hint of jealousy.
Bian Lu released his wrist, stood up, and sighed at the ocean outside the window. In the end, without saying anything, he turned around to drag his suitcase, leaving behind a sentence: "You have a good rest, and I will also carefully consider our relationship."
After saying that, he left An Jing's bedroom without looking back.
After everyone left, the house was empty again. The blue ocean outside the window once again swept over An Jing, making him feel a suffocating feeling called loneliness.
An Jing curled himself up, and he was once again overwhelmed by the deathly silence. He held his head and cried. Although he had no illness or disaster, he felt as if his spirit was being tortured and was in great torment.
-
The submarine staggered out of the water, and soon, through the round window, it was bright. Although there was no sunlight, it was still bright because of the fog.
Bian Lu got off the boat with a gloomy face. He didn't want to care about An Jing, but unfortunately, when he turned around, he saw the man wearing sunglasses and floating down elegantly.
He just glanced at Bian Lu from a distance without much reaction.
An Jing seems really perfect on the surface.
It used to be bad, but not anymore.
But as he became more and more in line with the label of perfection, his humanity faded. Bian Lu knew that people like him didn't really need love.
The reason why the fox was tamed by the little prince was not necessarily love, it could also be just the desire to conquer. Bian Lu thought that maybe someone like An Jing would never become his rose.
So, why force it.
Bian Lu turned his head back and focused on walking.
-
They boarded the bus, Liu Li and Bian Lu together. She looked out the window at the trees rustling by and suddenly asked, "Back when the fluorescent disease was rampant, I saw people online saying Xia Country was doomed, Earth was doomed... But over thirty years later, aren't there still people living well on land? I even heard that some remote rural areas haven't been affected at all. It's bizarre."
"Do I believe in the saying that everything is predestined?" An Jing sat in the back seat and said, "I'm thinking, maybe Blue Continent isn't the Garden of Eden. It's just a watershed, a melting pot, boiling out all the truth and falsehood in this world."
As soon as he finished speaking, he was interrupted by a colleague next to him, who said, "Teacher An, please stop talking nonsense. You are a well-educated teacher, why do you keep talking about mysterious things all day long?"
"Hey, Mr. Huang," An Jing said, unconvinced. He argued with him, saying, "I truly believe that supernatural, non-scientific forces exist in this world. What I emphasize is reverence. Reverence for nature, and reverence for the unknown."
An Jing, seemingly pent up, finally got the conversation started. "My ideal career isn't a teacher, but artistic creation. Of course, it's not all about the money. I simply enjoy sculpture, and later I got into painting. I think I'm quite talented in this area."
An Jing: "Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned, because my dad really wants me to get involved in politics like him..."
Before An Jing could finish his words, Bian Lu, who had turned his head in front of him, asked, "So you're going to contradict him in your own way?"
Liu Li found that she could not get a word in.
"No, no, I think his way of thinking is different from mine." An Jing regained his normal composure in front of others, appearing mature and steady. He said, "I've never hoped for the collapse of the Blue Continent government. I even feel a sense of belonging to it. I hope the people on both sides of the strait can live in peace. No, I don't think there should be such a thing as ocean people and land people. We are all human beings."
As soon as he finished speaking, the people on the bus burst into laughter. Some even teased him, "But the problem is that contradictions always exist. As a human being, you have self-awareness and likes and dislikes. Teacher An, sometimes I call you a nerd, but you still refuse to admit it."
"No wonder you've never joined the Ocean Party. I see." Someone with black-framed glasses said, "Then aren't you conflicted? In real life, the conflict between the Ocean Party and the Land Party is irreconcilable."
"He is an idealist." Bian Lu defended An Jing.
"Perhaps." An Jing also looked out the window at the greenery. After a long pause, he added, "I don't really have any grand ambitions or aspirations. Just like you and I were chatting, I pursue self-perfection."
Bian Lu was startled and said, "Are you talking about me?"
"Yes, in fact, the older I get, the more I find that I would rather be a Taoist priest, or an old farmer, smelling the dew in the morning, walking on the soil in the evening, and having a cup of refreshing tea at home. This is my happiness. From the bottom of my heart, I don't want to engage in political struggles or bully others." An Jing rubbed his eyebrows and said tiredly.
"Smell the dew in the morning, step on the earth in the evening..." When Bian Lu thought of that scene, he felt like he was caressed by a spring breeze.
He was once again attracted by An Jing's soul, chewing on these two sentences, and finally commented: "If you were a poet, most of your works would be in the style of mountains, rivers and pastoral life."
"It's about retreating to the mountains," said An Jing's partner, Professor Huang. "His approach doesn't align with the Confucian emphasis on active involvement in the world. It's a classic case of Huang-Lao inaction, a life of idleness and waiting for death."
"No, I'm not short of money right now, that's why I'm saying that." An Jing grew shy, as if he was embarrassed by the limelight. "I've never been poor, really," he said. "So sometimes I still yearn for those hardworking and frugal lives. I feel it brings me peace. I like to sit in the courtyard with my family, eating fruit and chatting. That's what I call a blessing."
Upon hearing this, Bian Lu realized that what An Jing wanted most wasn't money, power, fame, or wealth, but rather a comfortable and relaxed attitude towards life, a transcendent and extraordinary lifestyle. It felt absurd, like ascending to become a god.
——Of course, it sounds like someone has nothing better to do.
Bian Lu found it amusing and smiled knowingly, saying, "Elegant, too elegant. The ultimate in earthiness is trendy. No wonder so many luxury goods end up becoming rubbish."
"Teacher An, anyone who says this is right except you." Professor Huang laughed sharply and said, "After all, you yourself said that you have never been truly poor."
"I'm very lucky and very happy." An Jing changed the subject and said, "The first thing a person must learn at birth is integrity, and making money is a process of letting go of integrity. I say I'm lucky because I've hardly ever worried about making money. I've always kept it in the back of my mind and never let go of my integrity."
"Just like in some industries, you put on the clothes you took off again, my happiness lies in the fact that I have never taken off my clothes." An Jing answered honestly.
Hearing this, Bian Lu felt both envious and jealous. This was the trouble of the Tianlong people, and An Jing was one of those people with a relatively conscientious mind.
At least he realized that his advantage came from his background, not from his innate superiority. An Jing was not that arrogant.
On the other hand, those without conscience drive luxury cars and live in villas, showing off while complaining that they don't have a good life. However, people always want to move up, and everyone has vanity, so you can't say they are wrong.
Thinking of this, Bian Lu felt a little more confident in front of others. He clicked on An Jing's dialog box and typed: Let's team up to play basketball together in the gym later?
Anjing replied: Yes.
He added: "Do you know how to do it? If not, I can teach you."
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