Chapter 18 Chapter 18 She is just a commoner’s daughter…
After entering Congcui Palace, Lingchuan always felt uneasy.
The surrounding environment always made her feel unfamiliar, and the gazes of those strange palace maids made her feel ashamed.
"I...I'd better go back to the palace...I have no status and no position, I don't have the identity to stay here..."
She didn't want to wear Gu Shi's mother's old clothes and live in the place where Gu Shi lived when he was a child.
The old maid showed a sophisticated smile:
"Girl, you're so silly. Whether or not you have a title will depend on the prince's words... You just have to obey his orders. When the time comes, what belongs to you will be yours."
The old palace maid's slightly puzzled voice immediately angered Lingchuan, and she looked at her angrily with her slightly drooping eyes.
What on earth did she take her for? A plaything for someone to curry favor with her?
She really didn't want to stay in Cong Cui Palace for even a minute.
The old maid only laughed softly.
"Girl, you are so moody. Your temper reminds me of someone..."
Lingchuan impatiently took off his old clothes.
"I can't afford to take care of such a valuable thing. Please put it away quickly and change me into a new one. Also, don't talk nonsense. I have nothing to do with Gu Shi."
The old palace maid had no choice but to get her a newly cut dark green skirt.
"The prince is currently taking over palace affairs... He's kindhearted and has given each of the old concubines a small sum of silver to remarry and take them home... It seems he's also going to abolish the six palaces and the general election... The palace maids have also been given a small sum of silver, and a small portion has been cut and released from the palace."
"Oh, yes, and the eunuchs have also been abolished by the prince. The prince has always been compassionate to us servants. From now on, we can have two days off for every five days of work, and we can even go out of the palace during our leave."
Lingchuan frowned.
"Stop nagging. It has nothing to do with me. I don't want to hear it."
Yes, it is true that Gu Shi will soon take power, but it will only make it easier to torture her.
Not to mention that she got pregnant with the first royal heir before the queen, without any legal status. Even if Gu Shi spared her life, how could his future wife tolerate her giving birth to the first child before him?
His future wife would definitely see her as a big threat. Only Lingchuan herself knew that she meant nothing in Gu Shi's eyes.
Lingchuan's family background is not even that of a small family, and she doesn't want to get involved in palace fighting beyond her capabilities.
And if she had a child with Gu Shi, she would be bound to Gu Shi for life... Then the child would have to call Gu Shi dad and her mom...
Just thinking about that moment, Lingchuan felt disgusted and resistant. She would accept playing with a man like Gu Shi a few times, but she didn't want to stay with him for the rest of her life.
She must get rid of this child quietly...but if she acts rashly, her life might be in danger.
Gu Shi was as restless as Ling Chuan, and he couldn't concentrate on handling official business.
Whenever he thought that Lingchuan might not love him, he would feel a sense of panic deep in his heart, as if Lingchuan had done something against nature and common sense to him.
A gray, cold feeling of desolation spread from his throat and expanded into an increasingly large dizziness. He didn't want to fall into this dilemma of worrying about gains and losses. It was like a fish thrown out of the water onto the shore. Even if it struggled hard, it couldn't move forward even half a step.
He had to go see her... He wanted to feel the cold temperature of her fingers. As long as he warmed her fingertips with the palm of his hand, he could deceive himself that Lingchuan's fingertips were warm for him.
Walking into Congcui Palace, he thought of his mother.
She always looked at him coldly and got hysterically angry at him. He knew that his mother didn't love him, but he understood his mother.
After all, anyone would go crazy if they had to serve a deformed and ugly monster like the late emperor. He did not blame her. He only hated his non-blood-related "father" for using poison to make his mother stupid and turn her into a monster without emotions.
In the last moments of her life, he only hoped that she could talk to him again, even if it meant beating and scolding her...but she was so hurt that she couldn't utter a word.
The royal family is clearly a group of deformed and ugly monsters, yet they harm one healthy and beautiful woman after another for the so-called continuation of the family line... Gu Shi hates such a royal family.
He really hoped that he had no royal blood and was the product of an affair.
But he was also afraid that even though he was a lucky man blessed by God, he still had the deformed blood in his body... He was afraid that the deformed legs would be a retribution to his next generation.
Entering Congcui Palace, Lingchuan's arm stretched out under the bed like a cold green snake. He went over and held her hand. At least Lingchuan loved him.
"Even if I succeed to the throne, I will not give birth to any offspring for the royal family and continue the lineage..."
He used his cheek to feel the warmth of her palm. Gu Shi was silent for a moment, surprised that he said such words that he didn't want to say and didn't even know where they came from.
He seemed to be making a promise to Lingchuan. What was this? Some kind of promise to never betray her?
He couldn't really confide in Lingchuan so many affectionate words. This was already the biggest concession he could make...
Gu Shi realized that he could no longer show weakness, so he added:
"Unless someone can change my mind."
His lips trembled slightly, and he mustered up the courage to look up at her expression.
She seemed to be planning how to turn his concession into a whip on his head and use his helplessness to abuse him.
Gu Shi thought, there was nothing he could do, so he accepted it.
He felt a cowardly, sickening satisfaction, like succumbing to a cheap temptation, and he didn't know whether to feel disgust or joy.
The palace maids went out tactfully, but they only stood a few steps away from the palace. It was not difficult to guess what would happen inside the palace.
Gu Shi reached out to untie the knot on her clothes, but she stopped him.
"Do you want all the maids in the palace to know?"
Shame made Lingchuan's face flush, and there was a hint of resentment in her tone.
She didn't want to have such a reputation in the palace, as if she had been suddenly desecrated.
Gu Shi sneered:
"Do you think anyone still doesn't know this? These days, even if a widow looks at a man twice, people will frame her. Who would believe that a single man and a single woman could live together for six years without any guilt?"
Lingchuan gritted his teeth and cursed resentfully:
"It's none of your business anyway!"
It's so unfair... She glanced at him sideways, thinking resentfully, why could he just walk away so easily after destroying her life, and even ascend to the throne at no cost.
She was just a commoner's daughter, but the nobles took her into a decadent and luxurious carriage on a whim.
The desire to live and hatred emerged from her heart again.
If she wanted to die, she could just ignore Gu Shi in despair. But if she wanted to live, Gu Shi was a monster she had to face, an obstacle to her survival, a mistake that had to be solved.
He put his hand directly under her skirt and felt her knees trembling slightly.
"Lingchuan, what do you dream about?"
"I don't dream."
She said categorically,
“Although I don’t sleep soundly, I don’t dream.”
She put her hands on his shoulders and tried to push him away, but his shoulders were broad, so she could only open her arms, which gave Gu Shi an opportunity, like a silent invitation.
"I don't want to live here... I want to go back..."
Some palace maids were like wooden puppets, which made Lingchuan feel terrified. She began to miss Jinzhan's cunning and self-righteous appearance for no reason. She felt that Jinzhan was unpredictable. Sometimes she was the prince's spy, and sometimes she would stand on the side of the common people.
"You have to get used to it."
"Gu Shi, do you like it here?"
She looked at him in surprise, as if she had never known him before.
"I don't like it, but I can't do everything as I please."
Gu Shi lowered his head and wanted to kiss her collarbone. She really had nowhere to hide.
"Why would you do this to me?"
Lingchuan frowned and asked while covering his face with a handkerchief.
She didn't get a formal reply from him, only a kiss on the neck and a vague silence.
Lingchuan also knew that as long as she learned to accept her fate, took a step back, and lowered her standards, she could avoid the torture. As long as she made her heart numb, the pain would no longer be unbearable.
If she had never felt happiness and love, she would have lived numbly, but she had no worries about food and clothing, and lived a simple and happy life with loving parents.
She grabbed his hair desperately and pulled it hard.
"Speak, why are you doing this to me!"
Her body was constantly squeezed, her head was pushed out of the window, and her carefully maintained black hair fell onto the many layers of carpets on the ground.
Lingchuan looked at her hair and skin. Gu Shi spent a lot of money on her every year to maintain her beauty, but she had no gratitude in her heart, because it was no different from him spending money to maintain a carriage.
The only difference is that no one would ask the carriage to be grateful to the owner, but people often asked her to thank Gu Shi for giving her a luxurious life.
Gu Shi's only response to her was silence and further movements of his body. He knew that Ling Chuan was trying to force him to admit that he loved her.
He looked into Lingchuan's eyes, as if her eyes were two dark mirrors, reflecting his helplessness and madness.
He had already made the promise to be loyal to her forever. It was impossible for her not to know that he loved her. It was just that she was mean and forced him to say it out loud.
"Because you absolutely can't leave me..."
Gu Shi had a sarcastic smile on his face, as if by saying this he could gain the upper hand.
He was like a bottle filled with water, pouring all his desires into her.
He used his palm to confirm the shape of her bones. There was no doubt that Lingchuan was the only real existence he could rely on and the only source of his love. He was very satisfied and had never thought about replacing her with someone else.
When Gu Shi first met Ling Chuan, he knew that she was destined to become something to him, and he also felt resistance and fear about this.
He didn't know what would have happened if he pushed Lingchuan away on the day when she was heartbroken over the death of her parents and took the initiative to hug him for comfort.
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