26
After a night of alternating sleep and wakefulness, Zhong Yan got up at five o'clock and sat by the window to wait for the sunrise.
Four meters away from the window is another building, the eaves of which are exactly halfway up her window. Looking ahead, there is no obstruction until the distant sea horizon.
Her vision was both broad and narrow.
The bright red sun slowly rose, turning the railings and half-withered vegetation on the opposite rooftops a deep red.
Even the swallows perched by the window were bathed in a warm glow.
The longing seems to have faded a bit, and the pain has lessened as well.
If there were only daytime and no darkness, perhaps there wouldn't be so much time for wild thoughts.
After a quick bite of breakfast, Zhong Yan put the little seagull in her straw hat and took it downstairs.
As a wild animal, the little petrel is more active outdoors than indoors. However, whenever Zhong Yan thinks it will take flight, its wings remain firmly tucked to its sides and do not move.
In the morning, islanders take their pets for a walk along the trails.
The pace of city life here is not as fast, and everyone's face is filled with a relaxed and cheerful smile. When you meet someone, you chat with them like old friends.
Cats and chickens, dogs and rabbits all play together, like an idealized version of Zootopia, abandoning the wildness of the food chain.
Pet owners would stop to pet each other's pets, affectionately calling them by their nicknames, as if they were someone else's precious darlings.
But Zhong Yan dared not put the little seagull on the ground, fearing that those overly enthusiastic big dogs would roll their tongues around and snatch it into their mouths.
And then there's that "evil" tabby cat, always meowing around her feet, trying to get close to Little Seagull.
Zhong Yan refused with a heart of stone.
Zhong Yan only dared to let Xiao Haiyan out when the angelic Wu Yuan appeared in a stroller.
Chen Baoran patted his chest and assured him, "Wu Yuan never bites anyone."
Coco, who was next to her, exposed her, saying, "When Wu Yuan bit your dad before, he was really fierce."
“He deserves to bite,” Chen Baoran assured, patting his chest, then corrected himself, “Really, he only bites bad guys.”
Zhong Yan was very worried after hearing this and tried to pull the little swallow away from Wu Yuan. However, she was not quick enough and the little swallow flapped its wings a few times and landed on Wu Yuan's head. With its little wings slightly spread, it chirped a few times proudly.
"Hey, the wings are still somewhat useful." COCO the seal clapped her hands, giving the little petrel a warm round of applause.
Chen Baoran said thoughtfully to Zhong Yan, "When people encounter danger, their adrenaline surges, unleashing extraordinary power. Do you think this little petrel might suddenly take flight at the critical moment of life and death, just like in the movies where a person in a wheelchair stands up when faced with an urgent situation!"
COCO disagreed, saying, "Movies are just acting, after all. What if it gets stepped on before it can even flap its wings, and then its perfectly good wings break?"
Zhong Yan dared not risk the little seagull's life.
Chen Baoran changed the subject again, asking Zhong Yan, "Didn't you give it a name?"
Zhong Yan shook her head.
Once a name is given, the bond will deepen.
They will eventually part ways, so it's better to have fewer ties.
"It wasn't taken, but it already knows its name is Little Petrel."
COCO squatted down, shook her head at Little Seagull, and introduced her in a serious manner: "Little Seagull, you can call me a person."
Chen Baoran kicked her in the butt, saying, "Hey, you're blocking my light."
Seeing the people playing around, the little seagull turned its head, twisting it left and right, its dark little eyes watching them.
Wu Yuan rested his chin on the edge of the cart, facing the wind with his eyes closed.
The little petrel's claws stomped on its head, and it patiently tolerated it.
What about the monsoon?
Chen Baoran subconsciously asked Zhong Yan.
Even if the two weren't in a romantic relationship, it's enough to show that they were in frequent contact.
Zhong Yan said, "I don't know, maybe they haven't gotten up yet?"
Generally speaking, Zhong Yan waits for the other party to contact her; she won't take the initiative to reach out unless it's something very important.
"Ji Feng doesn't go for morning runs anymore, otherwise he would have gotten up much earlier," COCO remarked as she watched an athlete in a vest and shorts run past.
"Didn't he used to train every day saying he wanted to be an astronaut? Then he suddenly had a brain fart and said he wanted to build spaceships. And then, for some reason, he didn't do well on the college entrance exam, so he could only build engines."
It cannot be denied that there are some people in this world who are exceptionally gifted.
Even though she didn't do well on the exam, she could still go to the Aviation University. Zhong Yan was envious of Ji Feng.
Why didn't he do well on the test?
"Perhaps he underperformed, or perhaps there are always people better than him and he was too arrogant?" COCO guessed.
But the high scores of top students are beyond the reach of ordinary people like them.
Zhong Yan's curious gaze aroused Chen Baoran's desire to share.
"Ji Feng has always been a good student since he was a child. Perhaps he inherited some talent from his mother's side. He can get high scores without studying much. Everyone calls him a genius. It's normal for him to be a little arrogant. Our junior high school teachers both loved and hated him because they couldn't control him at all. I still remember how he confronted the head of the office when the math teacher took over the PE class. He was too fierce."
"His temper used to be a little better, but now it's really awful. It's like the whole world owes him a dollar," COCO continued to complain. "Several times I've seen him with that sour face, and I'm too scared to even say hello to him!"
Chen Baoran said, "He wasn't like this before."
COCO hummed, "Yeah, anyone who didn't know better would think he'd packed gunpowder all over himself and was just short of setting it on fire."
Ji Feng can be quite blunt at times, but he's not a bad person at heart, so Zhong Yan just listens to his words and doesn't take them to heart.
“Let’s make another appointment later. I know a place with really beautiful scenery and lots of birds. It might be helpful for the little petrel. Let’s go to the vet first.” Chen Baoran waved to Zhong Yan and then said to Wu Yuan, “Come on, say goodbye to the little petrel.”
Wu Yuan barked softly.
Little Seagull also barked at her friend's dog a few times.
Friendships between animals seem to be simpler and purer. Although Zhong Yan doesn't like making friends, she was still happy for Xiao Haiyan when she saw that Xiao Haiyan and Wu Yuan had become friends.
I just don't know what illness Wu Yuan has, because he seems to have to go to the hospital all the time.
Zhong Yan didn't ask, but secretly hoped that it would get better soon.
Ji Feng did indeed wake up late today, and only after waking up did he meet Zhong Yan at the CROISER café.
He ordered an espresso and drank it down in a few gulps.
Looking at his face, Zhong Yan could tell he really looked like the whole world owed him money.
"Is money growing on my face?"
That short sentence almost made Zhong Yan laugh. She quickly pursed her lips before asking, "Are you sick?"
Ji Feng was taken aback. "Huh?"
Zhong Yan said, "You don't look well."
Ji Feng lifted his baseball cap slightly. "Oh, I stayed up late last night doing research and didn't go to sleep until 5 a.m."
Zhong Yan was curious, but didn't want to ask.
But this time, Ji Feng took the initiative to talk about it, from the research project in the college to the data and models sent by his seniors, to his own research and improvements, and then to the theft of his interim results. He talked on and on, revealing almost everything.
It wasn't until he met Zhong Yan's surprised gaze that he belatedly realized he had said too much.
The two stared at each other for a long time.
Zhong Yan said, "If that's the case, isn't it pointless for you to continue?"
“How could it be meaningless?” Ji Feng asked. “Have you seen Iron Man?”
Zhong Yan nodded.
"Stanny plagiarized Tony's design to create the suit, but he didn't solve the icing problem, and thus he was at a disadvantage in battle. My engine is the same. The so-called improvement is to first find the drawbacks in the process of use, and then solve them one by one. What I see, he may not see; what I can solve, he may not be able to solve."
Ji Feng twirled his coffee cup, a slight smile playing on his lips, his confident and spirited demeanor captivating Zhong Yan.
When Tony donned the Mark II and soared into the night sky, his smile was like the monsoon before his eyes.
Ji Feng continued, "I also dream of one day taking off with an aircraft equipped with my improved engine and soaring in the sky."
Zhong Yan was at a loss for words, and at that moment she could only say one thing: "You will succeed."
Ji Feng's smile vanished immediately. "It's not that easy."
Reality is not like a blockbuster movie where you can become a hero by fighting alone. Many studies require generations of people and countless tests, practices, and failures to improve little by little.
Technology is constantly advancing.
They are fortunate enough to be a small cog in this machine, but they cannot be sure whether they are the ones driving it or being driven by it.
Stirring her coffee with her spoon, Zhong Yan suddenly said, "I originally wanted to apply to the Aviation University as well."
Monsoon said, "Your score is high enough."
Zhong Yan hummed in agreement, then lowered her head and stirred her coffee without saying a word.
Monsoon, unable to wait for further details, could only ask himself, "And then what? Why wasn't it reported?"
Zhong Yan said softly, "My mom said that girls have no future studying this and it will be hard to find a job in the future. She changed my application, but I didn't know."
She hadn't told anyone about her mother changing her college application, not even the friend who had misunderstood her.
Explanation is useless; what's done is done, everything has settled, and there's no going back.
Ji Feng frowned, curled his lips into a sneer, and said, "I really should suggest that some parents get some training before having children."
Zhong Yan said, "My mother is a teacher."
"Oh, then she'll fail this course too." He started being sarcastic again.
Zhong Yan remained silent.
Although she knew that Ji Feng was speaking up for her and that it was out of good intentions, she didn't know how to accept his kindness.
She couldn't, like Ji Feng, confidently say that her mother was wrong.
How could Mom be wrong?
She is a senior teacher who can help students improve their scores quickly. Parents are eager to have her teach in their children's classes. Every year, the principal personally talks to her to persuade her to overcome her difficulties and teach another class of senior high school students.
Her children excelled academically and were not neglected because of her busy work schedule. She had a clear plan for their academic progress in elementary, middle, and high school. Even when her partner could not fully cooperate with her plans, she resolutely chose to divorce.
She was rational, like a proven, perfectly correct formula; as long as you followed the steps, you could get the right answer.
Mom isn't wrong; the only one who's wrong is yourself.
It is fragile, it is pathological.
Why would someone choose to travel on a muddy, bumpy, and directionless back road instead of taking the smooth, wide road?
"If it were me, I'd make sure she knew I had to repeat a year and retake the exam, and that she shouldn't interfere when she shouldn't."
The monsoon is indeed very proud.
Zhong Yan also believed that he was capable of repeating a year of high school, but repeating a year of high school and taking the exam again would require much more effort, which was not something she could afford.
It was too hot outside, and neither of them wanted to leave the cafe.
Fortunately, the croissants here are really delicious, so lunch is sorted out.
After a while, it wasn't good to just sit there staring at each other, so the two of them chatted about this and that for a bit.
Zhong Yan was curious about Ji Feng's courses at the university, and Ji Feng picked out the interesting ones to talk about.
"...The university has a good humanistic care system. There are psychologists to help students cope with the academic pressure. I have a classmate who cried during his freshman year. He drank too much and sat on the rooftop. The psychologist didn't try to persuade him to work harder. He told him to change his major and that there's nothing in life that you have to do. If one path doesn't work, you can try another. This isn't weakness. Life is the most important thing. People who give up on life easily..." Ji Feng leaned back in his chair and ruthlessly changed his words: "Besides creating trouble and garbage for the world, they are utterly useless."
Zhong Yan remained silent for a long time.
"Not everything in this world is useful. When technology is too advanced, it can also leave behind things that shouldn't exist."
Ji Feng looked at her.
The girl's face was the kind of white that rarely sees sunlight; her skin was very thin, and you could see the bluish veins through it. She had very little flesh on her face, making her look thin and frail.
Zhong Yan stubbornly said, "If we could choose whether or not to be born, I think some people would choose not to be born. It's better than having to die as a burden and garbage."
Ji Feng knew that it was his words that had hurt Zhong Yan.
But he did not apologize.
He didn't think he had done anything wrong.
The two sat facing each other across the coffee table by the window, both turning their heads to look out.
It seems there's some interesting scenery outside.
The little seagull circled around the table, occasionally stepping on the backs of the two people's hands.
Zhong Yan silently moved her hand away.
When the little petrel stepped over again, the monsoon pushed it aside.
The little petrel immediately squawked and spread its wings angrily.
Zhong Yan shielded the little petrel with her hands and looked directly at the monsoon.
"What's wrong?" asked the monsoon.
Zhong Yan said, "You pushed it."
Monsoon said matter-of-factly, "Yes, it shouldn't have stepped on the back of my hand; its claws are very sharp."
"It is a little bird."
"So what? It can just scratch a few marks on the back of your hand at will?"
Zhong Yan turned her hand over and said, "It's just a minor injury, it doesn't hurt."
"Oh, since it doesn't hurt and you can tolerate it, then don't cry when it pecks you with its beak in the future."
Jifeng resumed his sarcastic tone.
Zhong Yan pursed her lips, her face full of resistance to being lectured.
But Ji Feng insisted, "If I don't say no, I will only be suppressed more severely. Taking a step back will open up a vast sky, while taking a hundred steps back will lead to hell on earth."
A minor argument led to the two separating before dinner.
Zhong Yan prepared a basin for the little seagull, filled it with water, and cold, fresh fish carcasses floated on the surface. Although they didn't look very appealing, the little seagull loved them and played and ate in the water with great joy.
After Zhong Yan finished eating, it took her five minutes to wipe the water and wash the basin.
It's summer vacation now, but Mom still has to go to school.
The pressure of transitioning from junior to senior high school makes many parents wish there were 48 hours in a day, and that their children could use these two months to overtake other students and leave them far behind.
Unfortunately, too many people have this idea, so everyone is still on the same starting line.
Regardless, Zhong Yan was still glad that every year's parents had such "awareness," which meant they occupied a lot of Teacher Wang's time.
During a phone call at dinner, Zhong Yan listened to her mother talking about the teachers at Southern Normal University again, and she suddenly said, "Mom, I don't want to study at a normal university."
Without hesitation, the person opposite yelled, "Your acceptance letter is almost here, what else can you study if not this?"
As a teacher, Ms. Wang's voice was loud and clear, and Zhong Yan could hear every word clearly.
Zhong Yan looked at the scratches on the back of her hand and pursed her lips.
“Zhong Yan, don’t try to be rebellious at a time like this. Would your mother harm you? I know professors at Nanjing Normal University, so it’ll be easy for you to get into graduate school…”
After listening to the lecture in silence for about ten minutes, Zhong Yan threw away her phone, which had been turned off, and hugged her knees.
The light bulbs overhead were old and the light was getting dimmer and dimmer, like melted butter, hot and sticky, clinging to people from head to toe.
The pitch-black phone slowly began to glow.
A message appeared on the screen, like a bubble suddenly rising from the depths of a dark sea.
Zhong Yan held it up to her.
The message came from an unfamiliar number.
The content of the message made her heart sink.
【Dear Little Petrel and Petrel's foster mother, hello】
Tomorrow afternoon at 4 PM, a farewell ceremony for Golden Retriever Wu Yuan will be held at Happy Lawn. Wu Yuan's life is nearing its end due to injuries and illness; he hopes to spend his final moments with his friends.
/
Tuesday, August 5, 2025
The fear of the dark stems from the fact that nighttime is a breeding ground for wild thoughts, but what is more terrifying than the dark is the dawn.
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