Chapter 50
Gu Yubai had heard the same words many times.
But this is the first time I've said it myself.
In the past, he was always the one being confessed to, watching the other person give a calm and polite answer.
He had never confessed to anyone before. He felt that it was a matter of expressing his feelings. Whether it was confessing or being confessed to, it was very simple. He just needed to express his thoughts, so there was no embarrassment or nervousness.
But now that the roles are reversed, he finally understands what it feels like to be in the position of the one confessing.
Completely different.
It's impossible to stay calm.
When confessing your feelings, your voice trembles, your heart races, your blood boils, you feel completely out of control, and your nerves are on high alert, nervously, expectantly, and fearfully awaiting the other person's answer.
Gu Yubai thought he should be very calm, just like when he stood on countless stages and dubbed in front of countless people, he was at ease and organized.
However, in reality, his hands were shaking violently, his lips were dry, his breathing became slow and long, and his heart was pounding. This completely overturned his usual image and showed a rare nervousness and lack of confidence.
Only then did he realize that confessing one's feelings felt like this. It wasn't simply about the other person stating their thoughts; it was like entrusting one's fate to the other person, waiting for their unknown verdict in a pounding heart.
This uncertainty can make people feel uneasy.
Time seemed to stand still.
The only reminder that time was still passing was that the music was still playing.
After a long while, as the English song came to an end, he heard Yu Xia's voice:
"What...do you want me to answer?"
Yu Xia's voice was soft and hesitant, as if she were just as at a loss as he was.
Yu Xia's apparent helplessness did little to ease Gu Yubai's tension. Looking at her, Gu Yubai took a deep breath, forcing himself to speak steadily:
"Anything is fine, as long as it's your idea."
Actually, not everything is acceptable; he also heard a definite answer.
He saw Yu Xia blink slowly, and after a long while, he heard her tentatively ask, "...If I say I don't want you to pursue her, will you stop?"
“No,” Gu Yubai answered quickly and honestly, “I will still pursue him.”
This is his right to pursue his own love.
"Then...then why did you ask me?" Yu Xia said softly.
It doesn't matter whether she answers or not.
“Pursuing is my choice, but you have the right to refuse,” Gu Yubai said.
"Oh..." Yu Xia responded blankly, her mind a bit of a mess.
"Wait," Gu Yubai suddenly realized what Yu Xia had said earlier, and said quickly, "You...you didn't reject me just now, did you?"
He asked Yu Xia if she could give him a chance to pursue her. Yu Xia did not give a direct answer. Instead, she asked a question: if she didn't let him pursue her, would he not pursue her at all? Isn't this a kind of implicit agreement?
Emotions and information were mixed together, and Gu Yubai's mind was a little confused, but he still habitually tried to analyze the information. However, he couldn't believe his own judgment when he thought about this, and his breathing became a little rapid.
Yu Xia didn't answer for a long time.
Gu Yubai nervously swallowed.
Was the judgment wrong?
Or... the default?
Gu Yubai had never felt that waiting was so agonizing, like being fried in oil.
He noticed that Yu Xia's face was slightly flushed, whether from the stuffiness in the car or something else, and after a long while, he heard her utter a barely audible "Mmm."
But Gu Yubai dared not confirm it, because the sound was so faint that Gu Yubai thought it was a hallucination caused by his excessive anticipation.
However, the next second, he heard Yu Xia clearly say, "It's okay."
At that moment, Gu Yubai heard a buzzing sound in his ears.
He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that it became deformed, but he seemed oblivious, taking several deep breaths and trying to maintain a relatively stable demeanor.
But it was difficult. I tried to adjust myself several times, but I still couldn't control my heart, which was beating faster and faster.
He could even feel his voice trembling with excitement; he had probably never felt this way before, not even when he received a voice-over invitation or achieved success.
The feeling of liking someone is both nerve-wracking and addictive.
What should he do after confessing his feelings? His mind went completely blank; he had no plan or steps in mind.
My mind was completely filled with Yu Xia's words, "Okay."
“I…” He took a deep breath, then looked up at Yu Xia with determination and announced to her, “Then starting tomorrow, I’m going to pursue you.”
She seemed surprised that he was speaking so solemnly.
Yu Xia stared blankly for a few seconds, then slowly nodded.
—
After getting out of the car and returning home, Yu Xia wasn't much better off than Gu Yubai; her face was still red, and her heart was beating very fast.
She blinked slowly, her mind a complete blank.
Looking back on everything that happened today, she was still in a daze, feeling it all seemed so unbelievable.
Did Gu Yubai confess his feelings to her?
Just now?
Does that mean her idol, Bai He, confessed his feelings to her?
Yu Xia pinched the back of her hand hard.
A sharp pain shot through me; it wasn't a dream, it was real.
Her idol confessed his feelings to her.
Actually, when Gu Yubai confessed to her, she didn't think about Bai He at all. Just hearing Gu Yubai say "I like you" was enough to make her brain shut down.
Gu Yubai's expression, tone, and actions were all very unusual, showing an unprecedented level of unease.
She could even clearly hear Gu Yubai swallowing.
At that moment, she thought, "My God, even someone like Gu Yubai would get nervous when confessing his feelings?"
It's rare to see nervousness on his face.
She thought he had always been indifferent and at ease with everything.
I never imagined that when facing the person I love, I would feel just like millions of ordinary people – nervous, anxious, and at a loss.
And what about her?
Her performance also seemed terrible.
What caused her anxiety?
Was it due to an accident?
Or is it because of Gu Yubai's status as his boss?
have no idea.
There is no answer.
All she could hear was the sound of her own heart pounding.
Thinking of this, Yu Xia seemed to return to that scene again, back to that cramped workshop, back to that ambiguous and tender atmosphere, enveloped in it, letting the heat spread throughout the space.
The feeling of being out of control is awful.
She didn't even dare to recall how she responded to Gu Yubai.
That's absolutely terrible.
Yu Xia lowered her head, burying it in her palms, her cheeks burning.
How do I reject my idol?
This is something no one could do, right?
Then it's understandable that she indulges her own choices.
After all, her heart was beating so fast, it wasn't fake.
Yu Xia leaned against the door, having a mental struggle, before finally lifting her head from her palms and rubbing her face.
I should take a shower first and clear my mind.
She felt a bit silly right now, and she really needed to do something to distract herself.
She got up from the floor, took her pajamas from the bedroom, and almost bumped her head on the bathroom door as she went into the bathroom.
She snorted inwardly and slammed the door shut.
The bathroom was filled with steam.
Yu Xia closed her eyes again.
I like you.
Damn it!
Yu Xia suddenly opened her eyes.
It's that same phrase again, and that same scene again.
Are you crazy?
She even wondered if some kind of virus had been implanted in her brain, and why it wouldn't go away.
It's not like I haven't received confessions before, so why is this time so different?
Is it because this person is Bai He?
The world has never been mine.
Mountains and rivers have their own heartbeat; they never submit to anyone.
In the bathroom, Bai He's voiceover is playing.
This was Yu Xia's old habit: she would bring her phone into the shower and listen to Bai He's voiceovers while showering.
This habit is so ingrained that even today, when I was feeling dizzy and almost bumped into the door as I entered, I didn't forget it. My body reacted instinctively, placing it on the shelf and skillfully opening the software. The system automatically redirected to the last playback location.
Hearing that voice again, Yu Xia didn't feel relaxed and cheerful as before. Instead, her ears turned a little red and her mind was a bit chaotic. She didn't know if it was because of the steam or something else, but when she heard that voice now, she thought of Gu Yubai's confession to her earlier that day.
It's just that he's not as calm and collected as this person.
The dubbing is still ongoing.
Yu Xia let out an "Ah," lowered her body, and rippled the water in the bathtub with her fingers.
Can you please stop thinking about it?
That's so strange.
How did things turn out this way between her and her idol?
But... if Gu Yubai wasn't Bai He, would she still be like this today?
Was she at a loss for words because Gu Yubai was Bai He, or because of Gu Yubai himself?
When this question was raised, Yu Xia suddenly felt a little confused.
While pondering this question, her hand continued to unconsciously pat the water's surface.
So annoying.
My mind is a mess.
I can't think of an answer.
After an unknown amount of time, the water gradually cooled down, but Yu Xia still couldn't figure out the answer.
She dried herself with a bath towel, put on her pajamas, and came out.
Her phone was running out of battery while playing a recording, so she found a power outlet and plugged it in.
The moment the screen lit up, she saw a message had been sent.
The message was sent by Gu Yubai.
Yu Xia paused.
My heart suddenly started pounding again.
She clicked on the message box.
There are three messages in the dialog box.
The latest one was just posted.
【Bai】: Sorry, because I misjudged my own self-control, I need to adjust the time I mentioned in the car earlier. I can't wait until tomorrow.
【Bai】:Yu Xia, I like you.
[Bai]: I'm going to start pursuing you now.
Yu Xia's face flushed.
With a bang, I slammed the phone face down on the table.
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