Chapter 52
The class had a farewell dinner one day after the graduation ceremony.
The venue was set at a small restaurant not far from the school. The decoration of the restaurant was average and it looked a bit old, but fortunately it was relatively clean.
As soon as Chen Meiyun sat down, she couldn't help but complain to Jiang Wan in a low voice: "I heard that this restaurant is owned by the squad leader's family."
The squad leader booked a large private room with three large tables inside.
Jiang Wan's table was full of girls, and Pan Linlin sat across from her. She maintained her usual aloof demeanor, sitting there coldly and not speaking. Next to her was Xu Ru, a more gentle girl in the class. She offered Pan Linlin a drink, and she offered her blanket and a thank you.
The farewell dinner was destined to be a battleground for the class's activists. At first, everyone was respectful, eating their food and drinking their drinks politely. But when the gym representative made a bold move and asked the monitor to bring over three cases of beer, things spiraled out of control.
Regardless of whether they usually drink or not, under the background of the graduation atmosphere, they all raised their glasses and imitated the adults.
"After all, turning around and leaving this time means farewell!"
The squad leader stood up and led the toast: "Let's not talk too much, the feelings are all in the wine!"
The homeroom teacher, Zhang Dongliang, had become a fully automatic drinking machine. His usually dark, simple and honest face was now flushed red from being drunk. Encouraged by the physical education representative, he started singing "Love Cycle" with a group of boys, and the wooden floor was stomped by them until dust flew everywhere.
"Jiang Wan, do you think the teacher will want to die when he wakes up and sees this video?" Chen Meiyu leaned on Jiang Wan's shoulder with a wine glass in her arms.
"Is it that serious?"
"At most, we can just live on another planet."
Halfway through the meal, Jiang Wan avoided the increasingly noisy group of people and went to find the bathroom by himself.
The restroom was on the floor below the private room, and she searched around before finding it. When Jiang Wan pushed the door open, there was already someone standing in front of the sink.
Pan Linlin glanced at Jiang Wan in the mirror, shook the water off her hands, and then took a piece of paper to wipe her hands dry.
"Are you ready to go back?" Jiang Wan spoke first.
Pan Linlin seemed not to hear her words. Their eyes met in a mottled mirror. She was silent for several seconds before finally speaking again: "Jiang Wan, why do you always have to help me? Do you owe me something?"
This question is really strange. It is clearly a word of thanks, but the tone used is that of criticism.
Jiang Wan knew she was talking about what happened at the graduation ceremony.
"It won't be good for anyone if this gets out of hand."
"You don't have to think I'm helping you."
"Okay, this one doesn't count." Pan Linlin threw the paper ball in her hand and moved closer to Jiang Wan. For the first time, a crack appeared on her usually indestructible expression.
"When I forgot to bring my physics textbook in my freshman year of high school, you stood up and stood with me even though you had brought the textbook."
"I told my mom that she worked in the financial center, but you know she was just cleaning there, but I never told anyone about it."
"I was on my period and couldn't run the 800 meters at the sports meet, but you ran for me even though you had a cold."
"And..." Pan Linlin counted on her fingers as if she wanted to settle everything at this moment.
The bathroom window opens, and the distant chirping of cicadas drifts in, like a gradually rising tide. It embraces us, yet also tears us apart. Meeting and leaving, existing at opposite ends of the same season, sometimes evoke the question of which should come first: tears or smiles.
"Jiang Wan, actually I really hate you, but I've always wanted to be you. You know, that kind of becoming doesn't mean being your shadow, but wanting to replace you."
Jiang Wan didn't say anything, but watched her speak quietly, watching her show her claws, fierce, yet soft.
"But I finally realized that I can't be you."
"You're really annoying."
“Disgusting.”
"But." Jiang Wan paused: "Why do you want to be me?"
“The most important thing for a person is to be himself.”
The closest comrade-in-arms in this world, the person who cherishes you the most, is always just yourself.
Pan Linlin was Jiang Wan's deskmate in her freshman year of high school. Back then, the girl's personality was even more gloomy than it is now. At least she wouldn't say thank you when someone poured her a drink.
Jiang Wan is not a savior. On the contrary, she is very good at drawing a clear line between herself and others, living a life of keeping out of the way. But Pan Linlin is different. One Friday evening after school, Jiang Wan was almost the last one to leave the school because she was working on a blackboard newspaper.
When she arrived at the school gate, she found that there were people who were just as late as her.
Pan Linlin stood under a camphor tree at the school gate, with her head lowered and not saying a word. A middle-aged man stood in front of her.
"Money, money, all you know is money!"
"I've already told you, why should girls study? Why not start working and earning money early and find a good family to marry? Your mother asked you to study, and you went to ask her for money? I have to pay for your brother's schooling with my money! Don't try to get your ideas!"
…
It is difficult for people to remain indifferent to people who have a similar fate as themselves, at least Jiang Wan couldn't do that at that time.
"I've applied to all the universities in other places." Pan Linlin paused as she passed by Jiang Wan. "I plan to leave Nanyuan with my mother and start a new life in another city."
"Jiang Wan."
"Thank you." She left with a faint thank you and walked away firmly.
Thank you for everything you've done for me. I've envied you, I've hated you, I've envied you, I've wanted to look up to you, and you know it all. But you've always told me that we're equals, that we don't have to be the same, that we can each be wonderful in our own way. You're right, I don't have to be you. I can only be myself. I will no longer betray myself, I will no longer hate myself, and I will never consider myself an enemy again.
The farewell dinner lasted from the afternoon until the evening.
A group of half-drunk teenagers hugged each other reluctantly at the restaurant entrance, some even crying. Only the squad leader had a rosy face, without a trace of sadness. It seemed that he had made a lot of money on this business.
Chen Meiyun was a little dizzy from drinking, but that didn't stop her from ordering Wei Lin to pick her up over the phone. Jiang Wan waited with Chen Meiyun at the door for more than ten minutes before Wei Lin finally arrived.
This was the first time Jiang Wan met him.
She is indeed good-looking, fair and tender, and doesn't talk much. I feel pity for her.
"Please call me after you drop Chen Meiyun off."
"Okay." Wei Lin also looked up at her and said, "Then I'll take Xiaoyun home first."
Jiang Wan was the last one to leave the restaurant. She glanced at the sunset in the sky. The wine that she had hurriedly drunk when the party ended was now restless and churning in her chest. The steaming hot alcohol made her head hot and her eyes a little blurry.
Jiang Wan realized belatedly that he must be a little drunk.
Where should I go now? The studio? Or home?
Neither seems to be a good choice.
A WeChat message popped up on her phone. It was from Lu Jiyu. Jiang Wan clicked on it and took a look. It was a video. But she didn't click on it. She knew what the video was about—it was that afternoon when Lin Ruo cornered her backstage and confronted her. She hadn't expected someone to film it and post it online.
Jiang Wan made a voice call to Lu Jiyu, and the person on the other end picked up the phone almost immediately.
The restaurant entrance was bustling with people, many of them staring at her. Jiang Wan walked a few steps forward and entered a Lawson, picking up a bottle of mineral water to pay the bill. The person on the other end of the phone remained silent, with only a faint rustling sound like an electric current.
Jiang Wan sat down on a chair outside the convenience store.
"Have you finished your farewell dinner?"
"Well, what are you doing?"
It was a bit noisy on the other end of Lu Jiyu's phone, sounding like a KTV.
"I'm singing with my friends." He opened the door and walked out. Someone behind him called her, but he just turned around and clicked the phone in his hand without answering.
Jiang Wan took a sip of water and asked, "Do you sing well?"
Lu Jiyu walked out of the private room and sat down on the sofa at the edge of the hall: "It should be pretty good."
"The students in your school are quite lucky. There's a boy in our school who's quite handsome, but has a terrible voice. Yet, he has to sing at the art festival every year."
"That would be very torturous."
"Not only that, in my second year of high school, he sang 'Angel' to me and tried to confess his love in public. I was so scared that I ran backstage and pulled out his microphone."
Lu Jiyu laughed out loud on the other end of the phone: "Jiang Wan, are you showing off to me?"
"The more people lack something, the more they care about it. I have nothing to show off. This is just my daily life."
At this point, Lu Jiyu was somewhat certain that Jiang Wan might be a little drunk.
"Where are you?"
"Me?" Jiang Wan looked around: "It's right next to the financial building." Opposite her was the Starbucks where they had coffee together last time.
The sunsets then were just as beautiful as they are now.
"You're not going to come find me now?"
"You are so beautiful." Lu Jiyu spat at her.
"Never mind. I've already called my dad. He'll be picking me up later."
"My dad still doesn't know that I've offended Lin Ruo, so he probably still has the leisure to act like a loving father and a filial son."
"Then why should I offend her? Didn't we just talk this morning?" There was an entire LED screen diagonally opposite the sofa where Lu Jiyu was sitting. The MV of "Sunny Day" was playing on it. He subconsciously hummed a few lines of the lyrics in his mind.
"I acted impulsively. Do you think it's too late for me to go and apologize to her now?"
"I guess it won't work." Lu Jiyu continued speaking along with her voice, then opened the taxi app to see that the taxi he had just called had arrived downstairs.
After he got in the car, the driver looked back at him and was about to ask for the last digit of his cell phone number as usual, but Lu Jiyu made a gesture to keep quiet and showed him the numbers and words he had typed on his phone in advance.
The online taxi driver smiled knowingly.
The drive from here to Jiang Wan's place took less than ten minutes, and Lu Jiyu kept talking to her and didn't let her hang up.
Although Jiang Wan had drunk a little wine, he finally came to his senses after listening to the various changes in the noise on the other end of Lu Jiyu's phone.
"Lu Jiyu, you're not on your way here now, are you?"
After paying the bill, Lu Jiyu pushed open the car door and got out. He looked in the direction that Jiang Wan had indicated on the phone and saw the girl sitting under the parasol at a glance.
She was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and a short gray pleated skirt, and her face was a light pink, I don’t know if it was because of the heat or just because she was drunk.
"You're quite good at guessing."
"But I'm already here."
Jiang Wan was stunned and looked around. Finally, his eyes were fixed on the Starbucks across the street. Sure enough, there was a young man in black standing there. This time he was not wearing a hat, and the sunlight cast a faint golden edge on his fluffy black hair.
He just looked at her like that, looking at her steadily. Across countless surging crowds, and through countless fragments of the past years, there was a moment when Jiang Wan felt as if he had returned to that afternoon at home that was blurred in his memory.
It took her a long time to walk from the back of the door to the front.
Jiang Wan raised her hand and waved to the boy across from her. A strange emotion clung to her chest. She pondered for a moment, unable to comprehend it. It was as if a sea of flowers were blooming before her eyes.
"Lu Jiyu, you are being romantic with me."
Lu Jiyu on the other end of the phone chuckled and waved in response: "Is this considered romantic? Sister, you really don't have much experience."
Jiang Wan switched hands to hold the phone: "What should I do? I'm a law-abiding person. I've never been into anything romantic."
Lu Jiyu retorted to her, "Are you the kind of person who brings her boyfriend to the school theater to kiss him?"
"You're well-informed. Did you come here just to tell me this?"
Traffic was constantly flowing, and in the distance, tall buildings rose from the flat ground, reflecting the warm glow of the setting sun. Below the buildings, a pleasure boat blew past on the river, its horn blaring. If this scene were in a movie, it would be a man and woman who had been separated for many years, and who, by chance, met on the same street under the guidance of fate.
They stared at each other without saying a word.
"After thinking about it, there are some things I have to say in front of you." As he was speaking, a gust of wind suddenly blew, the early summer wind, gentle yet with a little tentative warmth. It blew Lu Jiyu's hair all over the place, and even the words he said had a sense of fragmentation, pieced together.
Jiang Wan's hand holding the phone tightened unconsciously.
"Happy graduation, Jiang Wan." The young man's voice on the other end of the phone, which was always refreshing and bright, now carried a rare solemnity and sincere blessings.
Happy graduation, Jiang Wan. Even Jiang Huainan and Li Wan hadn't had time to say this to her.
Happy graduation! Have you been happy in your life so far?
Something cracked gently in my heart, and then an unknown plant slowly poked its head out from the crack, as if it had finally seen the light of day. The vines tore through everything and grew wildly and wantonly.
Jiang Wan thought, it’s you, Lu Jiyu.
After a moment's silence, she touched the water droplets hanging from the mineral water bottle, her eyes fixed on the boy across the street. She heard herself whispering his name: "Lu Jiyu."
“Come with me to Xinjiang.”
"Forget it."
"You choose."
*
Jiang Wan and Chen Meiyu had planned to go to Xinjiang for quite a long time. There were originally four people in Jiang Wan's group, three women and one man. One of the couple was a couple and also Chen Meiyu's friends. But something unexpected happened just before departure. The couple broke up, and the male driver who was originally responsible for driving simply quit.
"But don't worry, my sister can drive too. She said she would drive when the time comes."
The studio had not opened yet in the morning. Chen Meiyu had recently become obsessed with doing her own manicures, so she brought her newly purchased equipment to Jiang Wan's place to show off her skills.
Jiang Huainan was cooking in the kitchen, leaving one ear outside and eavesdropping on their conversation word for word.
He came out with a shovel in hand, looking worried. "What do you mean? Now only you three girls are going? That's so dangerous."
"Don't worry, it's not dangerous at all. Uncle Jiang, I'm telling you, going to Xinjiang right now is safer than cooking in the kitchen."
"How is cooking in the kitchen dangerous?" Jiang Huainan was unconvinced.
Chen Meiyun whispered, "You screamed and yelped at least three times when the oil splashed on you. I was so scared that I knocked over two bottles of nail polish."
Jiang Huainan: ...
"But I'm always worried about a girl driving." He still didn't give up.
Jiang Wan knew his father was going to use the "women are inferior to men" trick again, so he took a tissue and wiped off the excess nail polish from the edges of his nails. "If you're worried about girls, how about getting a blond to drive?"
Jiang Huainan: Okay, just pretend I didn’t say anything!
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