Chapter 38 "You should stop liking Zhou Junheng, okay?"
In Kyoto, a city that is grand yet calm, worldly yet polite, high-profile yet humble, they met people who could only be met in Kyoto.
Before meeting He Han, Huang Qian never thought that she would fall in love at first sight.
One summer evening during her freshman year, the sunset was gorgeous. She went to Tsinghua University to have dinner with Li Yiyan. He Han walked past her so casually, yet so vividly.
It was so light that they just passed by, even the evening breeze might not have noticed it, as fleeting as the breeze that lifted the ends of hair, so light that no one else in the world knew about it except their inner thoughts. He Han and the group of classmates didn't even turn around to look.
It was so heavy that from the age of 19 to 29, every decision Huang Qian made was influenced by He Han.
She came to Tsinghua University more frequently, to this campus where he was, and she wanted to see him more often.
She watched him participate in basketball games and debate competitions... She attended all his elective courses as long as they didn't conflict with her class schedule.
She knew of his extraordinary family background, she knew that their families were worlds apart, that they were worlds apart. It was only after many years that she understood the helplessness of this class...
She had even witnessed the girls who had come and gone around him. Over time, she no longer knew what to feel. Was it resentment? Yes. Hatred? Yes. Resentment? Yes.
But in fact, this has no connection or effect at all, so why does it have anything to do with him?
He Han didn't even know who she was.
How could I care about her feelings?
From the beginning to the end, this secret love was her one-man show, and she didn't even have the chance to express it out loud.
The high spirits she had when she first came to Kyoto faded away quietly because she fell in love with an outstanding and unattainable person, and she ended her youthful ambition, which was something that could not be regenerated, prematurely.
She knew she had to keep moving forward, even running, to catch up.
While pursuing this thing, she finally realized how rare it was to have that innate sense of ease and composure that was nurtured by the power and money of those in power.
She will never have it again in her life.
Every step she takes is towards climbing up. In this city where countless decisions that affect the country and even the world are made, she has no family background and no connections, so she has to fight hard.
The feeling of relaxation belongs to the privileged people. If she stops running, this secret love will definitely not have any result.
As the seasons change, Kyoto remains Kyoto.
Hutongs, high-rise buildings, overpasses, crosstalk, sycamore leaves, parks, noodles with soybean paste, various tourist groups, musicals, courtyard houses...all together make up Kyoto.
They both graduated, but she still didn't get to talk to He Han.
But she felt that they were closer because she was moving up. She used her school's advantages to work hard and was admitted to a unit in Kyoto. Although it was not a strong department, she knew that she had finally gotten to the table!
This level is even more difficult. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have any connections...but she really wants to make progress, and only in this way will she be qualified.
So she could drink, talk, and find the right team to stand in when visiting the mountain.
Things that can be solved through hard work in school are not the same in the workplace.
Everything gradually went astray. She had no original intention and was sinking deeper and deeper into the quagmire. She had already been soaked in it. She couldn't blame anyone. All the paths were chosen by herself.
So she clearly saw her own doom. Was it painful? Yes.
But she was already where she wanted to be.
Now she seems to be a role model of success for everyone. At the age of 29, she is the department director of the unit and has the salary of a deputy section chief.
She joined the company early, has a good academic background, an excellent resume, is tactful and has a good relationship with her superiors... No matter who looks at it, her future is bright and limitless.
With so many social engagements and dinners, she has gradually lost time to think about He Han in recent years.
Once she had experienced the taste of privilege, she found it so addictive that she wanted to go to higher mountains to see the "scenery."
Huang Qian sometimes despises those old men, saying that they just happened to be in good times and had a good family background, but she has to welcome them with a smile and "exchange" them for the resources she wants.
Rather than saying that she had forgotten, it would be more accurate to say that her contradictory psychology and the channels through which she got involved made her dare not think about He Han anymore.
She was no longer clean, and she herself felt unworthy of him.
But God seemed to favor her again.
When she heard that the person she was going to have a blind date with the next day was He Han, she even thought it was a coincidence. The photo couldn't lie, it was him!
At least the moment she got the chance, she felt that God was really kind to her.
The man she has been pursuing for ten years suddenly wants to go on a blind date with her. How can she express her feelings?
She couldn't say it, and now she couldn't remember it.
When she went to the appointment, she had been working for nearly 8 years and had experienced many storms, but she was still nervous.
It's not groundless speculation.
She didn't know what the meal tasted like. Her mind was already in a mess, and the Pingtan in the room made her even more restless. Huang Qian felt that everything was a mess.
When the song ended, he directly and bluntly refused.
The words "We are not suitable" came down like a demonic voice, and she could only pretend to be calm and create the rest of the conversation.
But he lost completely.
The 10 years ended in less than an hour.
She didn't know whether she was sad because her youthful dream had come to an end, or was upset because she had invested so much time... Before last night, she felt that she was too silly and stupid, like a little girl, and that her secret love coming true was definitely a fairy tale!
This impossible ending was destined from the beginning, she was just holding on, it was all in vain.
She was just trying to impress herself. If she had confessed her feelings at the beginning, it would have ended much earlier.
She is not a little girl anymore, she will not be pretentious, and she will never hang herself on this tree again.
If the one she likes doesn't love her, then she should thoroughly look for someone who can help her move forward!
He Han, goodbye!
But what kind of bad fate is this?
The two people had never met in Kyoto in the past ten years. After the blind date, she met He Han again at a drinking party.
So, what happened last night and today happened.
It is not quite appropriate to say that he had sex after drinking, because he was not completely drunk, otherwise he would not be able to get up. He just slept with a beautiful woman as usual, and it could be anyone.
She was not drunk, her consciousness was clearer, which was what she expected.
So she deliberately did not use birth control products. This was her last chance. She endured the pain and felt that if she could rely on this chance to marry him, it would be worth it.
"Why can't it be me? He said he wouldn't marry me even if I was pregnant... He even hated me."
"I've come all this way just to have a chance with him. Why would he hate this kind of cleverness? How could I have a chance if I wasn't clever?"
Huang Qian can't avoid all of this.
It turns out there are even worse scripts.
Looking back on these years, the hearts of those who shed tears are trembling.
"Sissi, no, it's not like that... You're fine, it's not our problem."
"It's never wrong to love someone, but it's wrong to fall in love with that person."
This sentence is to comfort Huang Qian, so why doesn't it apply to her as well?
"This is so unfair!" Huang Qian was too unwilling to accept this result.
Li Yiyan also burst into tears, "Xixi, let's not cry anymore... I'm still here, I'm still here."
They hugged each other tightly, just like the night they first arrived at the orphanage. They no longer had their biological parents, and they were the only two people in the world who depended on each other.
"Sister, please stop liking Zhou Junheng, okay?"
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