Chapter 24, Section 24: He wanted to propose again, hoping for something longer, something deeper…
Liang Siyu pressed the seat adjustment button, the driver's seat moved back, he leaned over and stroked her cheek with his fingers.
Although she quickly composed herself and stopped crying, his heart was still burning with anxiety.
"Ada, I'm sorry, it's my fault." He quickly apologized for his accusatory tone, then reached out to adjust the back of the passenger seat, wanting to get closer to her.
Xu Aida nudged him: "Don't do that, I'm fine, let's go home."
She had suppressed her emotions. It was hard to say who was right or wrong in this matter. She had also been hiding something, and more importantly, she didn't want to talk to him about these things right now.
The next second, the chair back snapped back, and she let out a soft gasp. His face drew even closer, almost touching her nose.
“Ada, it’s my fault,” he looked into her eyes, “I’m so sorry that I made you so tired and even blamed you.”
He barely suppressed the pain in his throat. If it weren't for helping him analyze the movement trajectory of the surgery, how could she have gotten so tired that she fell ill?
He has no right to criticize her without taking responsibility; he should reduce her workload instead.
Damn it, she had clearly suppressed it, but now her eyes were wet and sore, and her nasal cavity felt sore and hot.
Logically speaking, this is just a small matter. He only said one sentence with a slightly harsh tone, and now he's apologizing. Why is he being so dramatic? Why is he crying again?
Before her rebirth, she wasn't this fragile or emotional. She tried to slow her breathing, but she kept gasping for air and couldn't catch her breath.
Oh no, overbreathing.
He immediately rummaged through the paper bag, but couldn't find it, so he simply pulled out all the tissues, gave her the empty cardboard box, and quickly straightened the chair back.
He stared intently at her, wanting to approach and comfort her, but stopped when he reached out. He could only anxiously rub the side of the seat, his thumb just centimeters away from her shoulder.
She held the cardboard box, took two minutes to breathe, and slowly calmed down, a fine layer of cold sweat appearing on her temples and the back of her neck.
He dared not make any rash moves or physical contact, for fear of upsetting her again. He simply turned on the seat heater and handed her the thermos again.
She sipped the remaining half cup of hot tea, and her complexion gradually improved.
He finally breathed a sigh of relief, took a tissue, and tentatively reached out to wipe the sweat from her forehead.
She took it, pressed a few buttons casually, and said in a hoarse voice, "Okay, go back now."
As they neared home, Liang Siyu sighed.
A few years ago, after he received his offer to medical school, his parents suggested that he simply buy an apartment. He chose Mount Vernon because it was convenient for commuting, had an elegant neighborhood, and was similar to the Upper West Side.
But now, he's discovered a problem. This apartment building, converted from a historic building, lacks underground parking, which isn't ideal for the sick girl.
After parking the car, he touched the nape of her neck; it was noticeably damp, and the sweat hadn't yet subsided.
He took off his Harrington jacket and draped it over her.
She silently wrapped his jacket tighter around her; the clothes still carried his body heat. She felt as if she were near a fireplace, the woody aroma carrying a hint of roasted nuts, a comforting warmth.
He opened the car door, reached out to help her out, and she got out of the car, silently leaning against his chest. He immediately realized what was happening and picked her up with a worried expression.
She insisted on walking on her own the day she went to the hospital with a fever, so she must be feeling extremely uncomfortable now.
Xu Aida didn't know what had gotten into her today; she had fallen against him and wanted him to carry her home.
She was perfectly healthy, much better than when she had the flu and fever. But as she leaned on his shoulder and saw his furrowed brow, she couldn't help but smile.
Feeling his warmth, she silently pressed herself even closer, causing him to stiffen slightly.
When they got home, he bent down and gently placed her on the sofa, like placing a handful of fragile baby's breath.
The moment he stood up, she seemed bewitched, her fingers lightly brushing behind his ear as she uttered a few words: "Dizzy, I feel unwell."
Liang Siyu's breathing instantly became heavy. This wicked girl knew that he would lose control of his emotions as soon as he got close to her, yet she deliberately teased him and retaliated against him.
However, she felt dizzy.
He kissed her cheek, pressed hard against the back of the sofa, suppressed his surging emotions, and asked in a hoarse voice, "Want some lemonade?"
She nodded, leaned back on the sofa, and watched his back as he cut the lemon. The frustration in her chest gradually dissipated.
After finishing her water, she looked up at him. She had originally intended to say directly that she shouldn't have been so hasty or overreacted, but the words caught in her throat.
"I really miss the California weather. By the way, will it still be windy the day after tomorrow?"
"It's not windy, the weather is fine." He checked the weather forecast and then took the glass from her hand.
She blinked: "So we'll postpone our meeting with RA until the day after tomorrow? But in any case, we have to finish the first phase of data in these two weeks. I want to submit to NIPS, and the full paper needs to be submitted by mid-May."
Liang Siyu sighed: "Okay, we'll have a meeting the day after tomorrow, but it's agreed that I'll fill in the data, and you should rest more recently."
She nodded. She had almost finished writing the algorithm for this project, and if he took over to supplement the data, she could indeed get more rest.
Liang Siyu hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Ada, why the sudden rush? Didn't we submit our application to IROS in March?"
That was a paper they wrote based on some of the animal experiments they conducted earlier with Tense.
She has a long way to go before graduation and plenty of conference papers to write, so there's absolutely no need for her to rush projects at such a disregard for her health.
Xu Aida couldn't explain that what she needed to rush wasn't her graduation date three years from now, but rather the time when he would change careers a year from now. That's why their assessments of the urgency of time were so different.
She could only stubbornly insist, "This direction isn't anything special; others will do it too. Being the first to act is the key."
"This isn't like you!" He swallowed the words back. After all, he knew that they had indeed become too attached to each other last semester, which had somewhat delayed their progress.
Perhaps this is the rhythm she was used to? Didn't she hardly rest during her winter break?
However, thinking of the intense intimacy of last semester, the heat that had just been barely suppressed began to rise again.
She's been sick for two weeks now, because of surgery preparations...
But she hasn't fully recovered yet; she was still feeling dizzy and unwell just now...
But tomorrow they'll be working from home, and her complexion is much better; she even deliberately teases him...
Two thoughts raced through his mind. He looked at her, his breathing heavy, his heart burning.
Xu Aida sent a message to RA, postponing the discussion. When she looked up, she felt as if she had been targeted by a large hunting dog.
His gaze was piercing, trapping her in a corner of the sofa.
She involuntarily crossed her legs, her ankles rubbing nervously against her calves, and the butterflies in her chest fluttered to her throat, causing her to cough slightly twice.
His initial enthusiasm subsided somewhat. He thought, "Never mind, she hasn't fully recovered yet; we can't rush things."
He told her to go back and rest for a while to recharge. He bent down and carried her back to the bedroom.
Xu Aida wanted to tell her to put her down, that she was alright, but the burning heat and heavy breathing made her speechless.
His hot breath lingered around her ears, and a cloud of mist rose in her heart.
She could clearly feel the skin on her arm that was pressed against his instantly become damp with sweat.
He calmly helped her get her pajamas, drew the curtains, adjusted the lights, gave her a deep look, and then got up and left.
Xu Aida could hardly believe it. When he carried her home from the parking lot, he had already been tempted, and it was even more obvious just now. Now he was turning around and leaving.
She hissed angrily, "Ned!"
He turned around and saw her half-supported in the dimly lit bedroom, her slender arms wrapped in green sleeves, her eyes shining like a cat's.
She stared at him for two seconds, and only after seeing that he had returned did she slowly lie back down and turn away.
Warm arms wrapped around her waist from behind, and her lover's words, like damp butterflies, landed on her shoulder and neck: "Is it okay?"
She must be sick again, otherwise why would her cheeks be burning and her back be trembling?
She grabbed his sleeve, turned abruptly, and planted a kiss on the corner of his lips.
His familiar scent, the aroma of autumn spruce and pine cones, instantly filled her breath.
Looking into her clear eyes, Liang Siyu felt as if he were back on a morning rowing on the Hudson River. In late spring, the river was overgrown with weeds, and the oars would often get tangled in the slender, supple blades of grass.
He kissed her forcefully, as if struggling to navigate through a field of duckweed; she was the gentle wave beneath the water, the ripple beside the oar.
Gradually, Xu Aida could only hear the echo of his own heartbeat, like increasingly dense drumbeats vibrating against his eardrums.
She was like a gentle current in the lake, unable to catch up with the speeding boat.
“Ned.” She gently pushed his shoulder, frowned and shook her head, her eyes filled with a silent plea as she looked at him.
Liang Siyu struggled to steady himself, lifted the oar with difficulty, and sped away from the whirlpool in her eyes.
He gently kissed her lips: "Go to sleep."
He gently brushed his fingertips across the side of her neck, where her pulse was still pounding rapidly.
His embrace was like a fireplace still warm, gently soothing her aching muscles.
She leaned against his chest, half asleep, and gently pushed the arm around her waist, murmuring, "Heavy."
He gave a wry smile, placed his palm on her shoulder with very gentle movements, and only after seeing that she did not resist did he slowly caress it a couple of times.
The air still held a lingering damp warmth, like the gentle, tender breaths that had just mingled.
Her mint green nightgown clung to her delicate, slightly damp skin, softly resting against his arm.
He seemed to be holding a Green Halo in early June, the most precious kind of peony, with petals so thin they were almost transparent, and a green hue that spread out softly like watercolor.
Every year on his parents' wedding anniversary, the dining room and entryway would be filled with Green Halo decorations. Back in high school, he complained that his parents were being silly and that there were too many flowers.
But at this moment, as he lowered his head to kiss her cheek, he began to understand what it meant to never be enough.
Each time he got close, each time he was satisfied, his heart was never filled. Instead, it fueled his desire for a more lasting and profound connection.
He tightened his grip, and an idea popped into his head. Once his new paper was submitted, could he perhaps revisit the proposal this summer?
She'll say yes... right?
He tried to cheer himself up. That breakup was just her being frightened by a nightmare. She clearly loved him deeply; after having a nightmare in a New York hotel, she even asked him to promise she would never leave.
Why didn't he think of proposing immediately to put her at ease? That might have helped alleviate her nightmares. He was such a fool.
Liang Siyu almost wanted to bang his head; he was so confused at that moment that he completely missed a good opportunity.
However, June and July would be good too; they should be able to get ethical approval (IRB) and return to New York to collect data at the rehabilitation center.
Invite her to stay at your home first, and when the data collection is finished and she's relaxed, that's the perfect time to propose.
Anyway, his parents will be going to Long Island to escape the summer heat, and it will only be them at home, so she won't feel restricted.
Well, if you propose at home, you can ask your mom for advice on the setup.
Although he prefers the layered peonies, perhaps Ada prefers the delicate tulips? The last time she came to our house, she brought pale yellow tulips.
He pulled out his phone and quickly jotted down a few fleeting ideas.
She was fast asleep, her little hands clutching the corner of the blanket, as if grasping a dream.
He would give her a romantic dream; that sparkling yellow diamond ring had been waiting in his drawer for a long time.
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