Why?
Lu Zhaoan was truly shocked this time.
He was secretly pleased. At least, Gu Yaoniang wasn't targeting him, Lu Zhaoan. That was good enough.
Now that the matter had been made clear, Gu Yaoniang felt much more at ease.
Is she truly heartless? Gu Yaoniang asked herself.
Actually, that's not the case.
Lu Zhaoan was handsome, and she noticed him at their first meeting. Later, when Lu Zhaoan was vulnerable, when he was strategizing, when he helped her, did she truly never feel anything for him?
“Most women marry to find someone to rely on. But I no longer need to find someone to rely on. Jinchuan, marriage is a shackle for me.”
No matter how much freedom the sages have given to women, their permission does not mean that all husbands' families in the world will gladly accept it.
In today's world, it's already rare to find someone so open-minded as to send their daughter out of the house to study. If she were to actually get married, there are plenty of families nowadays that wouldn't allow their daughters-in-law to leave home.
Lu Zhaoan stepped forward: "Others are shackles, but am I one too? If it were you and me... then we'd live in our own private house, with no elders to overpower us, and everything would be up to us..."
Gu Yaoniang took a step back: "It's none of your business. I've already gone to the yamen to complete the paperwork and registered as a female householder. From now on, I'm the head of the household. Jinchuan, you and I are both very opinionated people. If we really live together, we'll have a lot of arguments about who should listen to whom every day."
"I'll do whatever you say!"
Lu Zhaoan looked at Gu Yaoniang with a stubborn expression.
Gu Yaoniang also raised her head to meet his gaze. Suddenly, she found it somewhat amusing and, with a mischievous urge, laughed: "Why do you listen to everything I say? You do whatever I say?"
Lu Zhaoan looked at her smile, a smile that was usually gentle and harmless, but now it seemed particularly glaring: "Don't smile! Yao Niang..."
His eyes held an almost pleading stubbornness as he stared intently at Gu Yaoniang.
Gu Yaoniang gradually straightened her expression: "Do you know that I am different from others?"
Lu Zhaoan nodded.
"I broke off an engagement before, and was engaged to someone for over ten years. You don't mind, do you?"
Lu Zhaoan shook his head.
“I am not as docile as other young ladies in the world. If I am unhappy, I will make everyone around me unhappy as well.”
Lu Zhaoan nodded again: "Of course. I won't let you suffer any injustice."
“I am greedy for money. In my house, I have to decide all the money.”
"Now that I've bought the house, I don't have much money left. But I can give you the banknotes, house deeds, land deeds, and other property deeds. However..."
Gu Yaoniang glanced at him: "But what?"
"I'm just... very tired. I don't want you to tire yourself out."
Gu Yaoniang laughed, but then straightened her expression: "It's not necessarily for me. Don't interrupt."
She thought for a moment, her lips moving as if she couldn't say anything, looking very troubled.
Lu Zhaoan saw her predicament: "Just say what's on your mind. It's always better to say it than to keep it to yourself."
Gu Yaoniang hesitated for a long time before finally whispering, "I don't think men can be relied on."
Lu Zhaoan raised his voice: "I can't be relied on either?"
Gu Yaoniang glared at her: "Speak up if you want to, why are you shouting like that!"
She softened her tone again: "My husband can only have me. If he's drinking or socializing, he needs to tell me. Even if he doesn't tell me, I'll ask and follow him."
The implication is that, Mr. Lu, you probably can't handle it.
Lu Zhaoan was delighted. Gu Yaoniang was telling him her thoughts, which meant she was giving him a chance!
He hurriedly said, "It just so happens that I hate the intricacies of the inner quarters and would never create a mess of wives and concubines for you to clean up. You are my only one."
Gu Yaoniang's heart trembled slightly, but she still just shook her head: "I don't believe you."
Lu Zhaoan became anxious: "Why don't you believe me!"
"Men are mostly fickle. The promises made when love was strong were certainly true, but how many of them can actually keep them?"
"Then how do you know I can't do it?" Lu Zhaoan asked.
"I don't know if you can do it. Jinchuan, I dare not gamble. Wasn't Qin Yuxiu once an upright and honest young man?"
The room was silent.
After a long silence, Lu Zhaoan finally spoke with difficulty: "What will it take for you to believe me?"
Gu Yaoniang simply smiled faintly: "It's not that I don't believe it. I just don't gamble."
For a woman, life is like walking on thin ice; she cannot afford to make a single wrong step. A man's recklessness is the woman's fault; a man's philandering is the woman's incompetence in not being able to keep her husband. Love, though beautiful, is too destructive.
I don't gamble.
I can't afford to gamble.
It's not worth it.
Gu Yaoniang thought to herself. But she always felt a void in her heart, as if a hole had been opened, and a cool breeze would always blow in from the opening, wander around, and then go out again, taking away the warmth in her heart.
Lu Zhaoan stared at her intently: "This is not fair."
Gu Yaoniang also looked back: "Marriage is always based on mutual consent; how can there be any talk of fairness?"
Lu Zhaoan shook his head: "No. This is not fair. You said, why is it that women are deemed unable to engage in commerce without having tried, yet you do? Yao Yao said, why is it that women are not allowed to enter politics without having tried, yet she stands in the court. Then why is it that you have not tried working with me, yet you assert that I would betray you? Why don't you believe me?"
Gu Yaoniang was taken aback. She knew in her heart that these things were incomparable. Lu Zhaoan had used sophistry in his arguments, and she didn't know how to refute him.
She could only weakly say, "It's different."
How exactly are they different? She couldn't give a clear answer.
Seeing Gu Yaoniang's helpless expression, Lu Zhaoan's mood suddenly brightened.
He raised his hand and tapped Gu Yaoniang on the head: "I won't force you."
But he will prove it.
He then turned and walked away, seemingly knowing that Gu Yaoniang was watching his retreating figure, and waved his hand behind him, saying, "Don't bother seeing me out!"
Gu Yaoniang stood there, watching his figure disappear into the distance.
But then, as if remembering something, he chuckled softly again.
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