Chapter 36 I Forgive You

In the initial stage of treatment, Yin Jiuyu still had the energy to ask Keke to record Ruibao's video for him every day, because he was worried that Ruibao would not eat properly and that Ruibao would get angry if he couldn't find him.

But later, the drugs and surgeries made him weak and sometimes he felt groggy all day long. Even if someone talked to him, his brain couldn't receive it.

When he was awake, he would ask Coco, "Is Ruibao okay?"

Ke Ke hesitated and said, "Ruibao is fine. Take good care of yourself, brother. Don't worry about it."

As a person who is always very sensitive to emotions, he did not notice Coco's hesitation.

He occasionally watched Ruibao's videos, but he didn't realize that those videos were spliced ​​together repeatedly.

Like disease, willpower is a very strange thing. It seems that if you have it, you can overcome any terminal illness, but if you lose it, you will collapse quickly.

I didn’t want to give up Ruibao, I really didn’t.

But it was really too painful. Yin Jiuyu just thought, just sleep for a while, and then work hard after waking up.

Then, after the surgery, he didn't wake up.

Although he didn't mean to, he finally gave up.

Once Yin Jiuyu made a decision, he rarely regretted it.

But that was really the thing he regretted the most.

After becoming Yin Jiu, he was still alive, but just alive.

He felt that everything was boring, but he said to the system: You may not believe it, but actually, I really want to live.

He bought his life by donating two-thirds of his assets and giving up auspicious treasures, so how could he not cherish it?

Meeting Ning Changyue and falling in love with Ning Changyue were not part of Yin Jiu's plan.

He enjoyed this gift, feeling happy but also uneasy.

He was happy that he finally had someone he liked so much.

Will fate really be so kind to him?

Because he seems to be losing all the time.

The harder you try to grasp love and family, the harder it is to grasp them.

He couldn't even keep a cat alive.

How could I dare to expect to spend my whole life with Ning Changyue?

When he hugged Ning Changyue, half of his soul was saying, you have to hold him tight, don't let go, even if you die, don't let go.

But half of my soul said, you will lose him, you will definitely lose him.

So, when he found out that Ning Changyue loved him because of another person, he actually felt a sense of resignation that he had expected long ago.

He didn't struggle at all, he just accepted it so simply.

Will Ning Changyue remember? Will he remember everything?

At that time, what should he do?

Would he question him and ask him to return his Yin Jiu to him?

Give it back to him.

But who can give him back his peace and joy?

I only love his Ning Changyue, and I can only see his Ning Changyue in my eyes.

Who will return it to him?

But no matter how hard you struggle, no matter how scared you are.

Finally, this day has come.

Finally, it has come to this.

Ning Changyue discovered that Yin Jiu should be glad that he just left and did not let him lose his life.

He won't come back, even his love has withered.

We agreed at the beginning that if you love me, I will live, and if you don’t love me, I will die.

We lost, we lost quickly, and we lost miserably.

Why hasn't the world restarted yet?

Hurry up, finish it quickly.

Yin Jiu should have admitted defeat to the system, but he was unwilling to do so. In a world without him, would Ning Changyue have a bad life? Would she miss him?

Will the memories of him become Ning Changyue's previous life?

There is only one world, and it will only restart, so Yin Jiu's traces will always be there.

He has been engraved in Ning Changyue's life, even if she starts over, he will still be there.

Would he also look for him in his memory?

But by that time, Yin Jiu was completely gone, and he would simply mistake him for another reincarnation of Yin Jiu.

I can't bear to see him endure such a fate again, but what can Yin Jiu do?

First, take a break, and then try hard to love him.

…

Another lucid dream.

But this dream seemed a little too long and a little too real.

Or maybe he was hallucinating again.

But this is really the ideal ending, isn't it?

If Ning Changyue is Ruibao, then everything can be explained. There is no one else, no one has been replaced, it's just that his Ruibao has come to find him.

Isn’t it beautiful?

Ruibao cried in his arms, saying that he had a bad life, that he was bullied, and that he had suffered a lot.

Yin Jiu felt distressed and confused, it seemed as if he had really witnessed these scenes with his own eyes.

In the past few years, he seldom thought about Ruibao, and he didn't dare to think about it, because he was really afraid that it was not living well.

The occasional thoughts and images that flashed through his mind were of Ruibao suffering.

What should I do if I leave this bad-tempered little cat?

He really spoiled it, he thought he could take care of it forever.

But……

"I really don't want you anymore."

This is cruel, but it is true.

Yin Jiu said to the person in his arms: "Rui Bao, I am sick."

"I was very ill. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on."

The person in his arms was still crying, sobbing and saying to him, "Then take me with you. Don't abandon me again, please."

Please, take me with you.

He said, "Can I...can I lie down in a cemetery with you? I don't want to be outside."

Yin Jiu woke up from a dream, tears streaming down his face, and shook his head: "Maybe not."

Being rejected, Ning Changyue's heart almost stopped beating, and she asked him: "Why?"

Yin Jiu said: "Because, I still want to like Ning Changyue."

I still want to love him, so I can't go with you.

Ning Changyue was confused for a moment, not understanding what he meant. He said, "But I am Ning Changyue."

"Well, Ruibao is Ning Changyue." Yin Jiu still had tears in his eyes, and his tone became very gentle.

He said again: "I'm sorry for letting you live alone for so many years, but I am still very selfish and want to love someone."

Ning Changyue said, "Don't you believe that I am Ruibao?"

He said, “I believe it.”

He believed whatever Ruibao said, but he would wake up eventually.

He hugged the man in his arms a little tighter and rested his chin on his collarbone.

He was so tired and sleepy, but he didn't want to sleep, or should I say, he didn't want to wake up.

It would be great if it were true.

He said he believed it, but Ning Changyue felt that he didn't.

Why didn't he believe it? Ning Changyue felt very wronged. He didn't mind that he didn't want him, but he didn't want to lie in the same cemetery with him.

The reasons for unwillingness are:

——I still want to like Ning Changyue.

What does it mean?

Does he still like me?

After stopping her tears and thinking for a long time, Ning Changyue managed to figure out the logical relationship. She then asked, "Yin Jiu, you don't want Ruibao, but you still want Ning Changyue, right?"

Yin Jiu closed his eyes and said, "Well, it still depends on Ning Changyue."

Even if Ning Changyue doesn't want him anymore.

Not knowing whether to be happy or sad, Ning Changyue repeated in a tearful voice: "But I am Ruibao."

"Well, you are Ruibao." Yin Jiu still said so.

His breathing became light, as if he was falling asleep.

He looked really tired.

Ning Changyue pulled him up from the ground, and they both returned to bed.

After taking off her wet clothes, Ning Changyue lay in Yin Jiu's arms.

Yin Jiu also hugged him. He closed his eyes and was about to fall asleep.

Ning Changyue looked at him quietly. Yin Jiu was like this, which was really strange. He seemed not to understand what he said, nor to understand what he meant.

He said he still wanted Ning Changyue, but he didn't believe he was Ruibao. However, Ruibao also wanted to be loved by him.

Ning Changyue lay in Yin Jiu's arms, repeating stubbornly: "Yin Jiu, I am Ruibao, and I am also Ning Changyue."

"I am Ruibao, and I am also Ning Changyue."

"I am really Ruibao."

He said it several times, and at the end, he started crying again. The man with closed eyes finally responded. He said, "I'm sorry, Ruibao, I can't go with you. Thank you for coming to see me in my dream."

He seemed to be apologizing all the time.

dream?

He thought this was a dream?

Ning Changyue was stunned for a while, then seemed to understand something and said, "It's okay, I forgive you. Even if you don't want me anymore, I still want to come back to you."

He really spoke a lot today, and his eloquence has never been better.

This is very unlike Ning Changyue, and certainly very unlike Ruibao.

Yin Jiu closed his eyes tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks again. He spoke softly, like he was mumbling in a dream: "Can you hug me?"

Ning Changyue gave him a hug that was not warm at all, and he still hadn't felt warm until now.

But for Yin Jiu, this was enough.

He fell asleep in Ning Changyue's arms, with a smile on his face but moisture still lingering in the corners of his eyes.

This dream is beautiful, but he has to wake up soon. He has already given up Ruibao and cannot give up Ning Changyue.