Sheng Yan didn't mean he didn't want to give Qin Zigui an answer.
He was the kind of person who hated things being left unclear and dragging on, but unfortunately, he just couldn't give an answer to this matter in a short time, otherwise he wouldn't have run away.
In the end, he couldn't escape and was caught by Qin Zigui.
How come this person always manages to catch him?
Unable to provide an answer and unable to defeat the opponent, Sheng Yan could only turn and run.
Seeing that he was about to walk into the rain, Qin Zigui quickly pulled him back: "Why are you still running?"
The space under the umbrella was narrow, and Sheng Yan was pulled directly into his arms. A familiar yet suddenly somewhat strange scent enveloped him, and Sheng Yan hurriedly backed away, saying, "Don't touch me like that."
Seeing his awkward expression, Qin Zigui put the hand that had been holding him into his pocket, a hint of amusement in his eyes: "Now you know how to be shy?"
Sheng Yan pursed his lips and turned his head away: "I'm not shy."
"Then why are you hiding?"
"I'm hiding because... because I'm too lazy to talk to you." Sheng Yan still wanted to be stubborn, but after trying to be defiant for a long time, he couldn't get anything out of it and decided to turn around and leave.
Qin Zigui quickly grabbed him and pulled him back to her side: "Why are you always thinking of running away?"
"Weren't you thinking of running away too?" Sheng Yan retorted angrily after failing to break free.
Qin Zigui lowered his head and asked, "When did I ever think about running away?"
"You know it in your heart!" Sheng Yan was already angry because Qin Zigui had kept this from him, and now that his temper had been stirred up, he threw out a sentence in a bad mood.
Instead, Qin Zigui laughed: "So you're afraid I'll leave?"
"Go if you want, who cares?" Sheng Yan said fiercely.
Qin Zigui, however, found him adorable: "When did I say I was leaving?"
"Why didn't you tell me that someone from your father's side was looking for you if you weren't leaving? I've heard that your father made a fortune abroad. If you were brought back, you could inherit the family fortune and become a young master. How could you not want such a great opportunity?" Sheng Yan became angrier as he spoke.
Qin Zigui's smile deepened: "Hmm, I don't care."
"You don't care at all..."
I like you.
Before Sheng Yan could finish speaking, he was abruptly cut off by the words "Qin Zigui," and then the pufferfish instantly turned into an ostrich.
Seeing his timid demeanor, Qin Zigui reached out and smoothed his hair, which he had previously ruffled in his anger: "I told you, a kitten that has eaten the best cat food cannot be taken away by anyone else. I didn't tell you this because I was afraid you would overthink it and throw a tantrum."
"Well, I didn't give you the best cat food either."
Sheng Yan felt that he was usually quite fierce towards Qin Zigui.
Qin Zigui asked him, "Do you remember the first time I came to this courtyard?"
Sheng Yan remembers.
It was July, and it was summer.
He was very young then, and logically he shouldn't remember it so clearly, but perhaps because the adults kept bringing it up, he kept thinking about it, so there was always a scene in his memory: Qin Zigui waiting for something alone under the scorching July sun.
He thought Qin Zigui was pretty, so he shamelessly picked the roses from his grandmother's house and insisted on giving them to Qin Zigui, asking her to come home with him.
He didn't have any particular reason at the time; he just liked playing with Qin Zigui. He didn't care about any of the other children in the yard, only Qin Zigui. He would give him all the good food and toys. But when Qin Zigui's father came to visit him, he still wanted to go with his father.
ungrateful.
Sheng Yan looked down at the small puddle on the ground: "I remember, didn't you want to go with your dad back then?"
“But you bought me for three yuan and two mao, so I am yours.” Qin Zigui said casually, as if the pain of being abandoned in his childhood had long been erased.
Sheng Yan felt his eyes were a little sore.
Qin Zigui is such a good person, how could he remember her for so long just because of three yuan and two mao?
He deserves more.
"If you think you like me because of this, there's no need. At worst, you can just pay me back the three yuan and two mao with interest." Sheng Yan felt that Qin Zigui might have confused gratitude with affection. He lowered his head, his voice a little muffled.
Qin Zigui asked, "Then do you know why I've always liked to control you since you were little?"
Sheng Yan pursed his lips and remained silent.
Qin Zigui added, “The first fairy tale my mother told me when I was little was The Little Prince, but I didn’t really understand it at the time. I only knew that the Little Prince was a very handsome little boy. When you stumbled out of the rose bush that day, I wondered if the Little Prince looked like that.”
“At that time, I thought you were the most beautiful little boy in the world, but I was just an orphan that no one wanted. We were from different worlds, but you insisted that I go home with you. You said that you had a lot of flowers and toys at home, and you could give them all to me as long as I played with you.”
"At that time, I thought that I might just be a new toy to you that can talk, move, and take care of you. You would get tired of me after a few days because you have your own home and so many people like you. I am just a new thing and you will forget about me after a few days."
"The day I wanted to leave, you cried so hard that the security guards in the neighborhood thought we were abusing our child." Qin Zigui smiled as she recalled the scene. "You know, your legs were so short back then, you couldn't keep up with us even when you were running. When we went over the big iron gate, you had to hold onto the railing to get over it. But you actually caught up with us. You wanted to cry but held it back, so you stood on tiptoe, holding three yuan and two mao, and kept saying, 'Yanyan, please, Yanyan, please.'"
“Actually, you don’t need to beg at all back then. He would rather not have me. My aunt’s husband’s family didn’t accept my aunt and uncle taking me in either. I thought that maybe everyone would be happier without me. That’s what I thought.”
“But you cried so hard back then, so hard that I actually thought, it’s okay, at least there’s still someone in this world who would be sad because I’m not here, there’s still someone who wants me, so I’ll live for that person from now on.”
"Fortunately, I was very lucky. My aunt, uncle, Aunt Xu, grandma, and grandpa were all very good to me. But I also know that at that time, they were more concerned about me out of pity and heartache. They didn't need me. Only you would pester me with questions every day, pretend to be pitiful in front of me when you made a mistake, and act cute with me when you wanted something. You would hold me to sleep every night and then suddenly wake up and say, 'Brother Zigui, you won't leave, will you?'"
"And you were such a young child back then, yet you insisted on fighting with Gian and the others every day, just because you couldn't stand them saying anything bad about me. You probably don't even remember that the first fight you ever had was because of me."
"You also can't allow anyone to talk about me or bully me. If the school has a parent-teacher conference and my aunt and uncle are busy, you can ask my grandparents to attend it for me. Say that my grandparents are high-ranking officials and that they will attend the parent-teacher conference for me, so no one will say anything bad about me."
"You're so good at being affectionate, calling me 'Brother Zigui' endlessly every day. Back then, the adults were busy and couldn't take care of me. Even though I'm only a year older than you, you treated me like an adult, asking me everything and listening to everything I said. All I could do was take care of your meals, sleep, and milk, not allowing you to fight or be picky about food, and I had to take the blame for you. Over time, it became a habit."
"I was really annoying when I was a kid."
Sheng Yan lowered his head, feeling a tightness in his nose.
“But that was the first time I felt needed.” Qin Zigui gently wiped the redness from the corner of his eyes. “Ayan, do you know what being needed means for someone who has been abandoned?”
Sheng Yan could not truly understand it firsthand.
“It means the meaning of existence.” Qin Zigui’s voice sounded somewhat distant in the rainy night. “So, Ayan, I’m not some extraordinary person. I’m just someone who exists because of those three yuan and two mao. We’ve practically occupied each other’s entire lives, so as long as you don’t let me leave, I will never leave in this lifetime.”
He didn't want Qin Zigui to leave.
Sheng Yan is very certain.
But he didn't know what he could give back to Qin Zigui.
Sheng Yan didn't know how to start the conversation, as the raindrops relentlessly pounded against the umbrella as if urging him on.
As if trying to ease his pressure, Qin Zigui smiled again: "But if you want me to leave, I'll give you back the three yuan and two mao, and then I'll go with my dad. It's okay."
"How can it be nothing!" As soon as he finished speaking, Sheng Yan looked up anxiously, "When did I say you could leave! Didn't you say you didn't care about your dad! How can you keep changing your story like this!"
"I don't care about my father's inheritance, it's because I'm eyeing other money." Qin Zigui looked like a greedy scoundrel.
Sheng Yan, who was just about to cry from emotion, paused, then asked, "What other money?"
Qin Zigui lowered his head and chuckled, "For example, your savings for your wife."
"..."
grass!
Sheng Yan was caught off guard by Qin Zigui's unexpected move. His face flushed red as he said in a panic, "My wife was meant for my wife. What's it to you?"
"Didn't you say you wanted to marry a wife who is beautiful, smart, caring, and top of her class? I think I'm perfect in every way." Qin Zigui was basically shameless.
But what he said wasn't wrong; it was indeed suitable for everything.
Except for the one that's bigger than his.
Sheng Yan's ears turned red: "But you're a man! How can you be my wife!"
Do you like men?
"Nonsense! Of course I don't like it, I'm straight!"
"Do you like me?"
"..."
A single silence can say a lot.
Qin Zigui said in a low voice, "Ayan, you do have feelings for me."
“But I’m not sure if that’s really what I’m thinking!” Sheng Yan bit his lip and said anxiously, “Qin Zigui, you are really important to me. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you were with someone else or if I were with someone else. I would also be unhappy if you were nice to other people, but I’m not sure if this feeling is because of love or just habit.”
"Just like you said, we've been together since we were very young. We've practically taken over each other's entire lives. We definitely have a possessiveness and dependence on each other that's different from others. Sometimes we even have those feelings. But I don't know if this is love. I'm afraid it's just a mix of familial or platonic feelings that's a product of adolescence. I'm afraid that by the time we realize it, we won't even be able to be friends anymore."
"So Qin Zigui, can you be sure that your feelings for me are really that kind of love? Can you tell the difference? What if you make a mistake?" Sheng Yan looked up at Qin Zigui, his eyes reflecting the warm yellow streetlights behind him, like stars reflected in the bottom of a clear lake.
Qin Zigui lowered her eyes, her fingertips tracing the corner of Sheng Yan's lips where he had just been bitten: "I'm sure."
Sheng Yan retorted, "What makes you so sure?"
“Every time you look at me like that, I want to kiss you.” Qin Zigui’s fingertips traced Sheng Yan’s lips, her eyelids slightly lifted to meet his gaze. “So, Ayan, do you want to try? Try to see what kind of love you have for me.”
His voice was so deep it seemed to bewitch people.
Their eyes met in the only place, where there was no wind or rain, under the rainy night.
Raindrops pounded against the umbrella, making a dull yet violent sound, but they could not drown out Sheng Yan's pounding heartbeat.
Sheng Yan looked into Qin Zigui's eyes.
It was that same solemnity and tenderness that made it impossible to ignore, just like when I said "I love you" to him back then.
He couldn't bring himself to say any words of refusal.
Looking at Qin Zigui's lips, his Adam's apple bobbed, and he thought it might not be a bad idea.
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