separate
Jian Zhaonan wanted to scold Liu Jianchun, but the anger that had nowhere to be released made his chest ache.
But when he looked at her pretty face, which was so fresh and elegant without any embellishment, he couldn't say anything harsh.
He is not a petty person. Being bullied by the coach and seniors is nothing to him. He doesn't even take it to heart. Many years later, he can repay evil with kindness and live in peace with those who bullied him.
Only when it came to her, his heart seemed so small, so small that it couldn't even accommodate a strand of Xie Yu's hair.
He pretended to be annoyed and said, "I'm leaving now. Why are you still standing here?"
She turned a blind eye to his impatience and said, "I didn't help you when you came. Now that you are leaving, I have to do my best to be a good host and see you off."
He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, all kinds of feelings were circulating in his heart, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter. Apart from being certain that he still loved her, he couldn't make any judgment on anything else.
His heart was completely confused.
"Why are you so nice to me?" He couldn't help but grab her wrist. "I lied to you and didn't trust your ability. Why are you so nice to me?"
His grip was so tight that it made her arm ache and hurt, as if she was about to break the bones. She pulled her arm away, but then realized she was powerless to resist, so she changed her tactics: "No reason, I'm just used to being a pushover... Let go first."
She had expected that he would be a little emotional, so she did not provoke him when they met. Instead, she suppressed her anger and tried to be obedient and soothe his mood.
Unexpectedly, this alone was not enough.
If he hadn't seen how angry she was yesterday, he might have really thought that she was just a woman who had no temper with him, but he had seen how angry she was, and seeing her trying to compromise, he just felt uncomfortable.
"So, your kindness to me is all because you're used to being a good person, that's all?" Not only did he hold her hand, but even his voice trembled uncontrollably, "Don't you like me at all?"
She didn't dare look him in the eye.
Just hearing his voice made her heart sad enough, how could she look at his red eyes? When she thought of his wet eyes, her heart softened.
But she still couldn't accept the fact that he had deceived her.
The premise of loving someone is respect. He may have given her enough respect in other aspects, but it is really intolerable for her to undermine her self-confidence in the career that she values most.
She was silent for a long time, not because she was hesitant, but because her heart ached when she thought about what she was going to say and what the consequences would be after she said it. What was even worse was that the wound that caused this pain was left by her own hands.
She gritted her teeth and said, "No."
He couldn't believe his hearing and said hysterically: "Look into my eyes and say it again."
She took a deep breath, made some kind of decision, and slowly raised her head.
Just as she thought, his deep eyes were filled with tears. She couldn't remember how many times he had shed tears for her, and she didn't know whether it was because he was fragile, trying to gain sympathy, or because he really loved her to the point of throwing everything away.
"Xiao Nan, please stop making things difficult for me, okay?"
"I'm not trying to embarrass you, I just don't believe your answer just now."
"There's nothing I can do if you don't believe me. I've said everything I need to say."
"If you didn't like me, with your personality, you wouldn't have been so angry yesterday. It's because you have me in your heart and you care about me that you think my deception of you is unforgivable. Look at me, if you don't think I'm right, then look into my eyes and deny me!"
She avoided his gaze and wanted to turn and leave before he finished speaking, but he pulled her back.
She persuaded herself all the way and finally accepted and let go of this relationship. However, her prepared psychological defenses were blown away by his few words.
The first sign of her defense being broken was her impatience. She struggled hard: "What are you doing?"
"Let go!"
"Do you think it's meaningful to say this now?"
…
He suddenly pulled her tightly into his arms.
He curled up, buried his face in her shoulder, and murmured in a voice so low that only the two of them could hear: "I was wrong, I know I was wrong, forgive me, okay?"
The deep and sexy male voice was like an electric current, striking the softest part of her heart.
Everything he does is because he loves you.
Forgive him.
The voice in her heart grew louder and louder, deafening, making it impossible for her to ignore its existence.
She had crossed her own bottom line time and time again for Xie Yu, but in the end, her concessions only resulted in the other party becoming more and more demanding. She thought that what they said might be right, and being too soft-hearted was indeed her biggest shortcoming.
So she gritted her teeth and pushed him away.
He stood behind her and took a few deep breaths before calming himself down: "Senior Sister, I am not him. I love you, and my original intention is always to hope for the best for you."
"If you really love me, you should first understand what I want instead of imposing your own 'good' on me."
"I understand." His tone was extremely humble. If she said at this moment that she would forgive him as long as he knelt down and admitted his mistake to her, he would probably do it.
Seeing that she didn't say anything and didn't leave directly, he tentatively reached out and tugged at the corner of her clothes: "Give me another chance, okay?"
She felt him tugging at her, and could sense his intentions even more. She knew how excessive her words were yesterday, and the anger he suppressed in his heart was not necessarily less than hers, but he still put aside his dignity and tried to please her with an almost pleading attitude.
If this isn't love...
Seeing that she had no intention of resisting, he hardened his heart and took the initiative to hug her in his arms again: "I really love you."
She didn't push him away: "To love someone, you need to show it through actions, not just words. You say you love me, but what have you ever done for me? Setting off fireworks, being romantic, taking care of me when I'm sick... These are all too easy for you. You could do the same thing even for someone you don't love."
He hugged her tighter: "I can give you everything, but you don't seem to need anything! What else can you ask me to do?"
She pried his hands apart, struggling to create a little space between his tightly held hands so that she could turn around and look him in the eyes and say, "Go get the surgery and finish the rest of the journey for me."
He was stunned and did not agree immediately.
She saw his hesitation and indecision, so she didn't force him. She let go of his hand, turned around and walked away quickly.
When she returned to the gym, as soon as she entered the door, Duoduo, wearing an apron, came out of the kitchen to greet her. He had not yet taken off the wet gloves on his hands.
When the two looked at each other, she roughly knew what evil this boy was planning.
She walked to the water dispenser to get herself a cup of hot water: "Duoduo, what happened between your brother and me has nothing to do with you. You don't have to worry about whether you move out or not."
Xuanyunduo turned over the wet gloves and took them off, then slowly walked towards her: "Sister Jianchun, this is not what I wanted to talk about. My brother left a box of things for you before he left."
"Where?" She put down the glass of water in her hand.
"In his closet."
She recalled what he had said, and it seemed that this box of things was what he called "unimportant" and could be thrown away at will.
She pushed open the door and walked into the room he had lived in before. When he lived here, she had to quicken her pace when passing by his door, fearing that if she stayed a little longer, she would overthink things and cause him to misunderstand.
This was the first time she had stepped into his room after moving in for several months.
The interior of the room was very simple. Although he was responsible for the decoration, he did not give himself any special treatment. The interior style was exactly the same as that of the team members' dormitory.
She easily found the wardrobe she was looking for, opened the door, and sure enough, there was a cardboard box inside.
She guessed it might be some of his unused rubber bands, or a gift he left for her, clothes, jewelry, bags... anything that circulated well in the female world. With his attentiveness, it wasn't hard for him to understand what girls actually liked.
She moved the very heavy cardboard box from the cupboard to the bed, used the key to cut the sealing tape, and saw piles of handwritten letters.
She recognized his handwriting.
His handwriting was elegant and graceful, unlike that of an athlete. She thought it was because he was competitive and unwilling to lag behind in every aspect, even wanting to write more beautifully than others.
In fact, he practiced calligraphy just to write love letters to her.
She opened one of the letters, which he had written eight years ago.
"Your first three shots are so well-connected. When can I be like you? When can I make you pay attention to me, just like I'm paying attention to you?"
She opened another one.
"You actually remembered my birthday. I'm very excited, but not happy. I'm afraid that if I'm happy, I'll start to have wild thoughts and think that you like me too."
She found one written five years earlier.
"You can dislike me, but why do you like Xie Yu? Liu Jianchun, I hate you."
The most recent one was written last month.
"Jianchun, I want to propose to you, will you agree?"
She closed the letter and touched her cheek suddenly, only to find that the wetness on her face was due to tears.
She always knew that he liked her, but some people's love, like Xie Yu's love, comes like the wind and goes like a shadow, a gust of romantic wind that disappears as soon as it blows past.
Jian Zhaonan's love is so heavy that it can fill a cardboard box.
She didn't know why he wrote these letters, nor did she know why he gave them to her at this time. She only knew that when she held the box and looked at the envelopes filled with cards, her empty heart seemed to be filled in an instant.
But she raised her head and looked around, and the person who lived here had gone far away.
Should she let go of the past and chase him?
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