Chapter 19 Extra
"I'm so envious of Sister Weiyou! I want to design my own clothes and open my own shop someday! I want to know how you got onto this path? Do you have any experience to share? Please! Make a video about it!"
"Hmm..."
Yu Weiyou sat in front of her computer, browsing the comments and private messages on her account.
"Come and have some water, you're so busy, aren't you? Reading the comments?" Lu Jiucheng brought the water into the room. He rested his hands on the table and looked down to read the comments with her.
"Ah, seeing these really brings back memories of those days. It's quite moving," said Lu Jiucheng.
“Indeed.” Yu Weiyou took a sip of water and continued browsing, resting her chin on her hand.
"Me too! I really want to know how my sister became the store manager! I still don't know what I want to do in the future, how do I set goals?"
"I never thought I'd become someone they consider an experienced person so quickly," Yu Weiyou said softly.
"Tsk tsk, speaking of which, I remember asking you a similar question, like 'Why do you have such a dream?' or something."
"That's a really old topic," Yu Weiyou put down the mouse and turned around, as if she had made up her mind. "But I think I can answer it now."
Lu Jiucheng smiled and said, "Then I'll be all ears."
"These are things that I only gradually remembered."
"The events before I was abandoned as a child."
"Back then, my family wasn't too bad off. We owned several shops, including a dress shop. They had a lot of beautiful clothes. My mom would go to the shop a couple of days a week, and sometimes I'd go with her. I guess because my mom knew some old-fashioned sewing and tailoring, customers would ask her to alter their clothes while she was there, and I'd watch. It was amazing how clothes were made. Those beautiful clothes looked so gorgeous on the tall mannequins."
"I also want to learn that kind of garment-making technique, to make gorgeous and beautiful clothes, and then wear them myself."
"Who knew that the family business would fail and my parents would flee to escape their debts, leaving me with distant relatives. Those relatives all thought I was a burden, and one time when they went out shopping, they left me on the side of the road... At that time, I was gazing at the gorgeous wedding dress in the glass window."
"When I finally came to my senses, my relatives had already gone far away. Just then, an uncle walked towards me and asked me, 'Where are your parents?' This man looked very suspicious. I was a little scared, so I pretended to say that my dad had gone to buy me some food and would be back soon. But he didn't leave. He said he would wait with me or take me to find them. I couldn't argue with him, so I had to run away."
“How could a child outrun an adult? He grabbed me, covered my mouth, and forcefully carried me to a secluded alley. Then his hand reached under my skirt… Luckily, a passing policeman noticed.”
"Although he didn't succeed, I wasn't sent home either. The reason was that I had only been at my relatives' house for a few days and didn't remember the location or address at all. I couldn't get through to my parents on the phone, and no one came to claim me for a long time... So I was quickly sent to the facility."
"I think you probably know most of what happened next, but there are also many details you haven't heard of..."
"The teachers in the facility are all perverts, including you. It's common for them to lay hands on the children. Birds of a feather flock together..."
(Lu Jiucheng: Tsk? I'm not a pedophile!)
"After that experience on the street, I learned to be arrogant and domineering. If they dared to lay a hand on me, I would make a scene and cause trouble. I also carried some sharp weapons with me just in case, so at worst, it would be a fight to the death. This method was particularly effective. Those scumbags didn't want to cause too much trouble, and I wasn't really bullied much, until..."
"Reformation center".
"I think you know a little about that place. It's a nightmare. It's not used often, it's practically a school legend, just something to make an example of. It's located in a dark corner of the facility. These people aren't afraid of things going wrong; in fact, things going wrong is better at intimidating unruly students. The adults there are like devils... Their methods aren't like other teachers', nor are they as gentle and measured as yours. They're not playing around... They just want people to submit."
"I think you know that my problem is that I'm naturally stubborn. I was tortured there for days and nights, and it left me with a deep trauma. In the end, it was them who got to enjoy it... It's ridiculous."
(Lu Jiucheng: …………)
"Later, I forced myself to give in and finally came out. I still hadn't learned my lesson and remained as stubborn as ever."
"However, due to post-traumatic amnesia, I forgot everything about that taboo. The lewd old man, the teachers, the correctional facility, and even, I slowly forgot everything that happened before I came out of the correctional facility."
“My pain did not lessen as a result. I had nightmares every day. I dreamed of a large snake coiled up, watching me intently from a distance, as if it could pounce on me and devour me at any moment... It was only much later that I learned that snakes in psychoanalytic dream interpretations represent ‘sex’.”
“In the darkness I was immersed in, there was a ray of light, the only thing I could never forget—the pure white wedding dress that froze me in place on the day I was abandoned, and the tall mannequin wearing it. From that moment on, I became determined to follow that light and become a fashion designer and model.”
"And so, I kept going, I really persevered..."
Yu Weiyou gradually withdrew her gaze.
"I'm sorry..." After a long silence, Lu Jiucheng finally broke it. "I..."
Yu Weiyou reached out and touched his lips with her fingertips, interrupting him as she continued, "Actually, spending a long time with you was a painful yet healing process... Of course, this healing wasn't ordinary healing. You know, there's a healing method for post-traumatic stress disorder called exposure therapy, right?"
"Exposure therapy means doing what you're afraid of, and gradually you'll get used to it and stop being afraid."
"I must say, this method really works, but it repeatedly triggers my traumatic memories, which often cause me unbearable pain. I have tried to run away, but running away does not solve the problem. I am still afraid every day, and I am even afraid of people walking towards me. In the instant we pass each other, I will close my eyes in fright, as if they are giant snakes rushing towards me."
"But I'm no longer afraid of you. You're so dangerous, yet...so safe. My gut tells me you won't hurt me, and I feel that way because of your uniquely captivating gentleness..."
"Later, you told me to let go of the past. At that moment, I suddenly realized that I didn't need to dwell on these trivial matters anymore. I was innocent of being hurt by them, and my friends' choices weren't my fault... They're all in the past now, and they shouldn't hold me back anymore. I'm capable of embracing the light, and I should... deserve the light. All my fears were nonexistent. Eighty percent of the strangers who walk towards me won't suddenly stab me. I shouldn't be so afraid that I can't even bear to brush past strangers."
"The principle is simple and clear, but even after everything is explained, I still need to work very hard to slowly integrate into the new life. Fortunately, I have succeeded. The new life is just another process of becoming numb."
Even though I still get nervous when I brush past people, and I still feel a moment of panic when you suddenly hug me...
"However, I am no longer afraid of severe physical discomfort."
"Sometimes I do blame myself, wondering why I just can't bring myself to hate you."
"The only answer I can think of... besides Li Rong, you are the second person in my life who has been overly kind to me. However, you are half angel and half devil. You threw a powerful thorn into my abyss, rescued me, and then left me covered in wounds."
"Fortunately, at least I've finally gotten through this."
"At the same time, it's become so hard for me to leave you... you who gave me strength, even though you hurt me..."
"This is unbelievable... Am I sick? Where did this masochistic tendency come from?" Yu Weiyou covered her face, her voice growing softer and softer. She let out a long breath, then scurried out the door and found a dark corner to hide in.
"Ahhh? What did I say?! I don't think I drank any alcohol today!" Yu Weiyou sobbed, holding her head.
Soon, the room lights were turned on.
Yu Weiyou tightened her muscles a little more, and her heart was beating faster and faster.
The figure walked up to her and slowly squatted down. He quietly hugged her and spoke after a long while: "I like you so much. It's a pity that I missed and misunderstood so much about your journey... You are clearly the angel sent to earth by heaven to bless me. It's so wonderful."
"But... I want to ask you, when exactly did you start having special feelings for me?"
"Maybe it's been like this for a long time. After getting to know you a few times, I found you to be very gentle. Every time you encouraged me, every time you noticed I had something on my mind, when I occasionally confided my troubles to you and you gave me a touching response, when you drew my eyebrows, when I looked into your eyes while I was drunk... my heart would inexplicably waver slightly."
"Even that first night, before you started, when I dreamt of the giant snake that symbolized you, hissing and flicking its tongue at me in a special invitation, I inexplicably hummed in agreement... At that moment, I almost felt that I could do anything you wanted to me... No, what kind of idiot would think that? I'm not that innocent girl like Li Rong anymore... Why did I have that kind of feeling for you?!" Yu Weiyou's hand was almost touching her mouth, while she fiddled with her nails with her thumb. "Wait, wait a minute, I didn't intentionally grab you or hug you on the sofa back then. I really did that because I was dreaming about Li Rong... It wasn't because I was drunk and acting crazy or deliberately teasing you!!!"
Lu Jiucheng smiled knowingly again: "I understand."
"What?! What do you know?! That wicked smile of yours definitely doesn't mean you understand what I'm trying to say, right?! Ugh! I shouldn't have said that! Today's confession has completely destroyed my image! I never want to talk to you again, you big jerk!"
"No! Hearing what you said today made me so happy and touched, it feels like a dream! When I heard the first part, my heart almost broke. I felt like I had done something utterly heinous and deserved to die. Okay, I was indeed a jerk. Even if you had agreed to let me do that kind of thing, I shouldn't have done it. It was so taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable situation. Anyway, I'm still so sorry!! It turns out that Weiyou really trusted and liked me before she agreed. I shouldn't have let you down... Even though I'm the one who's guilty, Weiyou still silently took all the blame. That's why I said Weiyou is my angel! Honestly, I feel so guilty having to struggle with my own conscience... Well then, I promise I'll take good care of Weiyou from now on!"
"...Don't say that...You...you're disgusting! I, I'm not that good! It just so happens that we're stuck together like rotten apples. It's my fault, I'm an incurable pervert, and I ran into an even more despicable pervert like you. It's really a tragedy."
"Hehe, mwah mwah mwah mwah, I like you more and more, Wei You!" Lu Jiucheng pouted and was about to get close to Yu Wei You's face.
"Get away from me, mmm!" Yu Weiyou pushed away Lu Jiucheng with a flushed face, but still couldn't resist being kissed on the cheek by him.
Lu Jiucheng gave him a quick kiss and then reluctantly got up: "Okay! I'm going to cook for our little angel now~"
"..."
Watching him leave humming a tune, Yu Weiyou covered her mouth and secretly took out a bottle of wine.
I've really talked too much today, I'm so embarrassed. I might as well get drunk and have a good time to calm my nerves.
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