Chapter 2 Chapter 2 I'm still a dinosaur carrying a wolf!
At three-quarters past dusk, the setting sun, like a burnt fried egg, hung listlessly on the horizon.
Lin Yan, arriving at the precise end of the workday, gently placed the copy of "A Study of Auspicious Omens," which exuded the fragrance of ink and was infused with his resentment, on Wu Haimin's desk with the perfect posture of offering tribute to the dead.
Wu Haimin was slowly adjusting his cuffs, his eyelids slightly lifted as he glanced at the thick stack of papers, and a look of gratified satisfaction, like "my son has grown up," instantly shone on his face.
"Hmm, not bad, Assistant Minister Lin." He picked up the memorial, his fingertips brushing the cover as gently as if he were caressing a rare treasure. "Look at the handwriting, the literary talent, the layout. It's clear that my usual supervision and guidance have not been in vain."
Lin Yan stood respectfully with his hands at his sides, a template smile on his face that read, "I am deeply enlightened and grateful to the point of tears."
Urge? Guide?
What else can your mouth do besides eating, making empty promises, and babbling?
Every single word of this memorial is soaked in my blood, tears, and spittle! That structure was forced out of the way by you, pushed into a corner!
"Landscape, my foot! If your father weren't the Minister of Personnel, I'd show you what real fighting is."
Wu Haimin put down the memorial, strolled over, and patted Lin Yan's shoulder affectionately. The force felt to Lin Yan like a donkey owner stroking the fur of a donkey that had just finished pulling a millstone, full of the implication that "You did a good job, we'll come to you again next time."
“Young people, you need to take on more responsibilities and be given more challenges to grow quickly,” Wu Haimin said earnestly, his eyes gleaming with a “for your own good” light. “Look, once this memorial is presented, His Majesty will surely be delighted. I know this merit is well-deserved, and I will certainly give you credit for it. Work hard, and your future is bright! The future of our Ministry of Rites rests on the shoulders of hardworking, capable, and competent young people like you!”
Carry your head, my foot!
I'm like a dinosaur carrying a wolf!
This burden was so heavy that Lin Yan's lumbar discs were about to leave his house, and he really didn't want to listen to Wu Haimin's nonsense.
Future prospects? Lots of potential! Or maybe a lot of pitfalls!
Credit? I'm afraid it will all end up being attributed to your excellent mentorship, Wu Daren.
Not yet? In the future, all I want to do is carry you, this Buddha, out of the Ministry of Rites!
"Your teachings are indeed correct. I will keep them in mind and dedicate myself to serving you and the Ministry of Rites." Lin Yan's voice was as steady as an old dog, and his expression was so devout that he could be a statue in a temple.
Wu Haimin finally nodded in satisfaction, waved his hand, and uttered two words as if bestowing a favor: "Go."
Lin Yan felt as if he had been granted a pardon. The moment he turned around, the pious, statue-like face on his face shattered on the ground, leaving only the numb shell of a corporate slave. As he walked out of the government office, he felt that the air outside carried the scent of freedom, as if he had just been released from prison.
The old, half-new green-canopied carriage of the Lin family, like a loyal old dog, was already waiting at the street corner.
Lin Yan practically "unloaded" himself into the train carriage.
Once the carriage curtain was drawn, the outside world was shut out.
Lin Yan didn't even bother to say "call me when you get home." He leaned his head against the wall of the carriage, and the next second, his even breathing echoed in the small space.
The Ministry of Rites, Wu Haimin, and the auspicious crow were all crushed by sleep.
Sleep is his only source of power to fight this messed-up world; when his battery is low, he must immediately enter standby mode.
The carriage swayed and rattled, rolling over the stone-paved streets of the capital, over Lin Yan's broken breathing, and finally came to a stop in front of the Lin residence.
Old Zhang, the coachman, waited for a long time, but there was no sound from inside. He had no choice but to knock on the side of the carriage: "Young master, we're home."
The long, drawn-out breathing in the carriage abruptly stopped, followed by a few muffled murmurs and the dull thuds of bodies hitting the wooden planks.
Lin Yan, with his hair sticking up from sleeping, emerged from the carriage with a dazed look in his eyes, his steps unsteady as if he were walking on clouds.
As soon as Lin Yan entered the house, the aroma of the food instantly pierced through his drowsy nerves.
His mother, Wen Yun, was directing the maids to serve the dishes. She had a gentle temperament and was dressed in an elegant lotus-colored ruqun. When she saw him return, a gentle smile immediately appeared on her face: "Yan'er, you're back? Quickly wash your hands, we've been waiting for you. We have fresh mandarin fish today."
The father, Lin Chengji, a middle-aged civil official with a calm and composed demeanor, who worked in the Ministry of Works, was already seated in the main seat. He glanced at his son's face, which looked as if his soul had been drained by work, and said nothing, but gestured with his eyes for him to sit down quickly.
Lin Yan plopped down on the familiar carved wooden stool, feeling as if his bones were screaming that they were about to fall apart.
He grabbed his chopsticks and headed straight for the plate of glistening, red-brown braised pork.
People need food to survive; you'll get hungry if you skip a meal.
Moreover, the lunch he had at the Ministry of Rites had long been digested, and Lin Yan ate with the same ferocity as a hungry tiger pouncing on its prey.
Lin Yan buried his head in his rice, his cheeks bulging, trying to fill the void left by work with a carb bomb.
Lin Chengji put down his chopsticks, picked up a damp cloth and wiped his mouth. His movements were unhurried. He cleared his throat, his voice low and his tone calm, as if he were explaining the progress of the river embankment survey for tomorrow.
"Yan'er".
Lin Yan picked up a piece of tender mandarin fish belly and mumbled, "Hmm?"
Lin Chengji looked at him calmly and spoke clearly: "His Majesty summoned me today and personally appointed you."
Lin Yan's chopsticks stopped in mid-air, the fish meat trembling.
He blinked, looking a little confused.
Click me? Why would you click me?
Click here to inscribe a message for the newly built dam by the Ministry of Works?
Or should we study upgrade plans for the drainage system of the Temple of Heaven?
Lin Chengji paused for a moment, seemingly giving his son half a second to process the information: "I'm sending you to be a secret guard, specifically to oversee the Ministry of Rites."
The piece of mandarin fish that Lin Yan hadn't swallowed yet fell back into the bowl with a "plop," splashing a small drop of oil into the soup.
The expression on his face went from bewilderment to confusion, and then gradually cracked.
It felt as if all the bones in my body had been removed in an instant, and with a "whoosh," I slid down the smooth wooden bench.
With his buttocks dangling in the air and only his two feet stubbornly clinging to the stool legs, he maintained an extremely awkward "half-sitting, half-sliding" posture.
Wen Yun quickly reached out to pull Lin Yan: "Yan'er!"
Lin Yan was still in a state of detachment from his body and freefall when his mother pulled him. Instead of sitting still, he slipped off the stool like a slippery eel and landed hard on his buttocks on the cold floor tiles.
"Ouch!" The dull pain from his tailbone instantly brought Lin Yan to his senses, but the dazed feeling in his head was still lingering.
He sat on the ground, one hand clutching his sore backside, the other futilely reaching into the air, as if trying to catch the fish that had just fallen, or grasp that absurd news.
Lin Yan craned his neck, his gaze straining to pass over the edge of the table and land on his father's still calm and composed face. His voice trembled, filled with a tremor of relief and disbelief: "Father...Father?! What...what did you just say? The wind was too strong, I didn't hear you? Secret Guard? Overseeing the Ministry of Rites? Me?!"
Lin Chengji glanced down at his son, who was sitting on the ground with a look of utter bewilderment, as if Lin Yan had simply dropped a chopstick. He didn't even flinch, as if Lin Yan had just accidentally dropped a chopstick.
He picked up a cloth and slowly wiped away non-existent grease from the corner of his mouth, his tone as calm as if he were reading a list of materials from the Ministry of Works' warehouse: "That's right, His Majesty said it himself, appointing you as a secret guard, specifically to monitor the actions of officials in the Ministry of Rites and report them secretly to the Emperor."
Lin Yan: "..."
No, is that right?
Why should a scholar like him be a bodyguard?
Before Lin Yan transmigrated to the historically non-existent Dayu Dynasty, he had read novels. In those novels, weren't the emperor's secret guards all highly skilled in martial arts and elusive? How did he fit the description?
More importantly—while working hard as a beast of burden in the Ministry of Rites, he also had to serve as the emperor's secret guard. Wouldn't that make him like 007?
Even the donkeys in the production team aren't handled like this!
Lin Yan suddenly shuddered, as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over him. He tried to get up from the ground using both hands and feet, but his legs were still a little weak, and his movements were as clumsy as a turtle that had just learned to roll over. Wen Yun had to pull him up so that he could finally sit back on the stool.
"Father! This job... can I not do this job?" Lin Yan was almost crying. "What have I done to deserve this job? The Ministry of Rites' trivial matters... no, those official duties, have already kept me so busy that I'm practically running around like crazy. Adding the task of being a secret guard on top of that... I'm afraid I'll delay His Majesty's important business!"
Lin Yan tried hard to put on a "patriotic and concerned" expression, attempting to evoke his father's empathy.
Wen Yun watched from the side, feeling both sorry for him and amused: "What are you panicking about, child? His Majesty's appreciation of you is a good thing."
She turned to her husband, a hint of worry flickering in her gentle eyes: "Husband, the work of a secret guard sounds exhausting. Can Yan'er's health handle it?"
Lin Chengji put down the cloth, his gaze calmly sweeping over his disheveled son and worried wife, before finally uttering a sentence that made Lin Yan's vision go black.
"His Majesty also said," Lin Chengji paused, seemingly recalling the emperor's exact words, "Minister Lin has been working hard these past few days, which pleases me greatly. I will make arrangements for him to enter the palace to meet the Emperor tomorrow."
Lin Yan: "!!!"
tomorrow? !
Tomorrow is a day off that only comes once every ten days!
Lin Yan's vision went black.
He had finally made it to his day off, and the emperor so heartlessly took it away from him? How could he be so cruel!
"Tomorrow?" Lin Yan's voice seemed to be squeezed out from a broken bellows, filled with dying despair. "Father, are you sure His Majesty meant tomorrow? The tomorrow of the day off?"
Looking at his son's devastated expression, Lin Chengji finally felt a flicker of sympathy in his eyes, but that emotion vanished too quickly, as if it were an illusion.
He remained as composed as a stone pillar in the Ministry of Works, and nodded: "Indeed, tomorrow is a day off."
He even added a sentence that precisely stabbed Lin Yan in the already broken heart: "His Majesty said that at three-quarters past the hour of Yin, someone will come to meet you at the east corner gate of the palace."
Three-quarters past the hour of Yin?!
The rooster hasn't crowed yet, Your Majesty!
Does it really need to be this early for him to enter the palace? Couldn't he have slept a little longer?
Lin Yan felt a surge of heat rush to the top of his head. He let out a "howl" and slammed his forehead heavily against the cold table, making a dull "thud".
"Yan'er!" Wen Yun was so frightened that her face turned pale, and she quickly went to help him up.
Lin Yan lay face down on the table, her face buried in her arms, her shoulders heaving violently, emitting suppressed whimpers like a dying animal.
It's over.
It's all over.
His day off.
His lazy sleep.
His grand plan to rejuvenate by sunbathing...
Everything was wiped out with a single click by the emperor!
"Husband!" Wen Yun tenderly stroked her son's back, then looked at her husband, her gentle brows furrowed with anxiety. "Is this secret guard Yan'er absolutely necessary?"
Lin Chengji remained silent for a moment, looking at his son who was slumped over the table as if his soul had left his body, and then at his anxious wife. He slowly spoke, his voice still steady, but the words he uttered completely shattered Lin Yan's hopes: "The Emperor's will is made."
Lin Yan suddenly raised his head from the table, his forehead was red, his eyes were empty, and his expression was numb, as if all his energy had been drained away, leaving only the empty shell of a corporate slave.
With a detached, worldly tone, he said softly, "Mother, the nine generations of our family are of utmost importance."
Lin Yan had heard that the current emperor was extremely strict in governing his subordinates, and his family did not have such a thing as an imperial edict.
Let him go. The emperor can't keep him in the palace forever. He can go home to sleep after he leaves the palace.
A note from the author:
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Pre-order "Almost Became a Hand-Torn Rabbit"
Bai Zhuo is a rabbit.
Good news, he's become a spirit.
The bad news is, even if it becomes sentient, it has no fighting ability.
After becoming a spirit, Bai Zhuo possessed a lifespan as long as that of humans. In order to avoid his hard-won longevity being cut short by wild boars, Bai Zhuo decided to go down the mountain and go to human society!
Bai Zhuo, who was coming down the mountain, was completely in the dark. First, because he was hungry, he used his original form to sneak into a place where many rabbits were kept and ate and drank for free. Then, he followed his rabbit brothers and sisters into a car with the license plate number Yu C.
————
Qin Qin's friend runs a catering business and recently opened a shop selling hand-shredded rabbit. He sent Qin Qin a plump, large rabbit as a gift.
Just as he raised his knife to kill the rabbit, the rabbit struggled violently and, right before Qin Qin's eyes, transformed into a young boy who wasn't even wearing pants!
The young boy, who had turned into a rabbit, clung to Qin Qin's leg with tears in his eyes, pleading, "Please, don't kill me QAQ!"
Qin Qin: "..." Should he see a psychiatrist?
————
Later, Qin Qin started raising rabbits, and the rabbit was named Bai Zhuo.
Every time this rabbit introduced itself, Qin Qin felt a chill run down his spine, because this is how the rabbit introduced itself—
"Hello, I am Bai Zhuo, Bai as in white rabbit, and Zhuo as in clumsy."
Qin Qin, unable to bear it any longer, could only teach him repeatedly in bed: "When you introduce yourself in the future, you should say 'zhuo' as in 'zhuo jing' (拙荆, meaning 'my humble wife'). Remember that?"
Bai Zhuo covered his butt: "Got it QAQ!"
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