Chapter 23
Liang Yue found it difficult to describe the psychological and physical impact and feelings brought to her by everything that was happening before her eyes.
If she knew that opening this door would inevitably lead to an encounter with Ji Shuyi, then she would have chosen to go through the window.
Ji Shuyi had originally closed his eyes and was pretending to be asleep.
The hallway lights suddenly turned on, and the next moment they met Liang Yue's stunned face.
Silence...
Until the hallway lights go out at the designated time.
Liang Yue patted the security door, and the hallway lights came back on.
She felt that fate was conspiring with Ji Shuyi to play a trick on her. Otherwise, why would Ji Shuyi be squatting at her doorstep at four in the morning?
She even thought it was a hallucination caused by the high intensity, high pressure, and fast pace of her work.
Hallucinations cannot speak.
They would never say something as shameful and utterly foolish as, "Can you take me home?"
Liang Yue couldn't answer Ji Shuyi's question. So he simply ignored him and pressed the elevator button.
"Where are you going so late?"
Ji Shuyi followed behind her and asked in a low voice.
Liang Yue exhaled a long breath, as if he wanted to expel all the 'rushing air' from his body.
She remained silent.
As planned, I left the residential area, entered the convenience store, and skillfully opened the third freezer on the right, taking four bottles of beer from the fifth shelf.
Ji Shuyi followed closely behind her and went upstairs with her again.
“I said,” Liang Yue said sarcastically, unable to contain himself any longer, “President Ji, there’s a limit to how perverted you are.”
Ji Shuyi, like a stray dog no one wanted, said humbly, "I can explain."
"No need! Thank you for your explanation. May you leave now?"
As Liang Yue prepared to close the security door, Ji Shuyi suddenly stopped it, saying, "I can also explain what happened five years ago..."
"No need!" Liang Yue suddenly raised his voice, "Don't ever appear in front of me again."
At this moment, Ji Shuyi and Liang Yue were like going through a tug-of-war, both of them struggling to hold on, seeing who would compromise first or who would exhaust their strength first.
Liang Yue's knuckles turned white from gripping the door so tightly. She stared at Ji Shuyi outside the door with unease and anger.
Her thoughts wandered, and suddenly fragments of memories from five years ago flashed before her eyes, those memories that had gradually faded and blurred as she grew up became clear again.
She recalled Ji Shuyi from back then, always wearing faded T-shirts, and only two or three cheap sweatshirts to go around changing into. He spent most of his time in his school uniform, the cuffs of which were more worn than everyone else's. His achievements today were undoubtedly due to his own hard work, in addition to the support of the Ji family.
Now he is no longer thin or lonely; he seems like a completely different person. Tall and muscular, his suit accentuates his powerful muscles, giving him a commanding presence.
Liang Yue recalled watching a TV series when she was a child. The female protagonist suddenly learned one day that she was the granddaughter of the richest man. As a child, she had fantasized more than once that she might be the daughter or granddaughter of a rich man whose family's wealth could circle the earth three times.
never mind.
Liang Yue released his hand, turned around and took out a pair of men's slippers with obvious signs of use from the shoe cabinet.
“Come in,” she said, walking toward the living room. “Since you haven’t changed your clothes, you can only sit on that single sofa.”
“Okay,” Ji Shuyi said softly, “thank you.”
He closed the door, changed into slippers, and went into Liang Yue's house.
“This house is rented, so I advise you not to stake out outside for no reason anymore, or you might get reported to the police and arrested.”
Upon hearing this, Ji Shuyi remained silent. He took off his suit jacket, placed the inner layer on the sofa, and sat down on it.
"I was sitting right outside, and it got a bit dirty."
Liang Yue glanced at it but didn't say anything.
After entering the house, she first took a blanket from the bedroom and went outside for a walk. It was like a soft loaf of bread being placed in the freezing cold; her whole body was chilled, and her limbs became a little stiff and uncoordinated.
"Excuse me, may I use the restroom?" Ji Shuyi asked cautiously.
Liang Yue rolled her eyes at him, thinking to herself, "He's putting on this act of politeness again."
“There, go through the door next to the kitchen,” she pointed to him.
Ji Shuyi got up, deliberately walked over quietly, and pressed the doorknob.
The restroom was clean, and on the sink sat a half-empty bottle of gardenia-scented hand soap. A hand towel hung nearby, shaped like a cartoon bunny; Ji Shuyi recognized the bunny as Bugs Bunny. Liang Yue had told him about it before.
He rolled up his sleeves, dispensed two pumps of hand sanitizer, and carefully washed his hands. He then rinsed his mouth briefly with water. The mirror in front of him reflected his slightly pale face, reddened eyes, and somewhat disheveled hair.
Ji Shuyi tidied up his emotions and appearance in front of the mirror before going out again.
Only one hallway light was on in the living room, and he walked over under its dim light. Looking down, he saw that Liang Yue had finished a whole can of ice-cold beer, crushed the bottle, and thrown it into the trash can. Another bottle was open and sitting on the coffee table.
When she saw him come out, his expression was not friendly, as if he had found a filthy and terrifying bug in a warm and cozy house.
Liang Yue waited for a long time, but Ji Shuyi didn't say anything, which made her even angrier. In addition, she was already in a bad mood due to insomnia, and she spoke somewhat recklessly.
She told Ji Shuyi, "There's no need to dwell on past grievances from high school; everyone should look forward."
She said, "I am truly grateful for your help back then. The money my grandmother gave you was far from enough to repay your kindness. If it weren't for you, I might be tightening screws in some unknown factory right now. I've always been a person of strong likes and dislikes, and I really relied on you back then. I'm so grateful for your help."
For a moment, Ji Shuyi wanted to pounce on Liang Yue and cover his incessantly chattering mouth.
She simplistically categorized their relationship as 'one-sided help' and summarized everything that happened during their high school years as 'a holiday'.
A holiday?
Ji Shuyi didn't understand.
That was clearly an unparalleled time. He still wants to relive it to this day.
“I’ve said everything I wanted to say,” Liang Yue grabbed the wine on the table and chugged down half a can. “If you have anything to say, you can say it now.”
Ji Shuyi recalled that when he lived with Jiang Ying, Jiang Ying would always humbly ask others for help with various things. Asking others for help was Jiang Ying's way of solving problems, and it was also the only method she could use when she had nothing of her own.
Influenced by this, Ji Shuyi believes that "asking for favors" is an extremely shameless thing, and is a deliberate attempt to extract the goodwill of others.
He once thought he would never have a moment like Jiang Ying's.
“I was so happy to see you there today,” Ji Shuyi said, his back slightly hunched, his posture extremely humble, like a clump of wild grass casually trampled on. “Five years ago, I went back to look for you, but you had already transferred schools by then. I regret not seeking more ways to get your contact information back then. In the years that followed, I often went back, hoping to meet you again.”
He said, "I miss you so much, I miss you every single day."
"Because of a series of unforeseen circumstances, I left without saying goodbye. Now I beg you to reconsider our relationship. I hope you can give me a chance, okay?"
Let's move beyond superficial expressions of gratitude and petty arguments.
A long silence.
Liang Yue was hidden in the dim shadows, and Ji Shuyi couldn't see her expression, but he was glad that the dim environment made him feel safe enough to say the words he had been thinking about for a long time.
At this moment, Liang Yue only wanted to confirm one thing.
Have you read that letter?
"letter?"
Ji Shuyi sat up straight and said, word by word, "What letter?"
Liang Yue confirmed that he had not read the letter filled with embarrassment.
“A few days before you left, I wrote you a letter…” She paused for a moment, trying to find a word to describe it properly. After thinking for a while, Liang Yue continued, “It was a love letter. I slipped it into the book you used to read, the book was called…”
—“Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind!”
—“Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind!”
The two said in unison.
Ji Shuyi's helpless expression was mixed with a strange look. He slumped into the sofa, as if trying to cushion the blow brought to him by this absurd event.
He suddenly stood up, took a few steps closer to Liang Yue, knelt down in front of her, and picked up the blanket that had accidentally fallen under the sofa. "I borrowed that book from the city library, and I returned it before I left."
"Smack!"
The beer bottle fell under the coffee table, rolled a few times with a 'glug' sound, and came to a stop when it was tripped by the corner of the table. The unfinished beer spilled out and spilled all over the floor.
In an instant, a faint, intoxicating smell of alcohol filled the room.
We're doomed.
Liang Yue thought.
She blamed all the consequences of that incident on Ji Shuyi. In her most distressed moments, she even reflected on why she had shirked her duties. If she hadn't shirked her duties, she wouldn't have encountered Ji Shuyi being bullied, and she wouldn't have had any interaction with him.
That way, a whole host of troubles won't come to light.
Their relationship will remain forever as follows: he is number one on the school's honor roll, and she will pass by that display board when she enters the school.
That's all.
She had been comforting herself with this for so long, and now she was suddenly told that Ji Shuyi was unaware of what was angrier than her.
Liang Yue suddenly understood the sentence, "Everyone had their own difficulties back then."
"Xiao Yue?"
Ji Shuyi's warm hand caressed her cheek. He knew she was also feeling bad about the five years she had missed.
Liang Yue's gaze fell on Ji Shuyi's moist eyes. He knelt on the ground with a devout posture. He had no resentment towards himself and was full of longing for this familiar yet unfamiliar feeling.
Even with her exceptional eloquence, she couldn't utter a single word in this situation.
After a long time...
"Ji Shuyi, you should go back."
Ji Shuyi paused, his tone still gentle, "What do you mean?"
"Let it go," Liang Yue said, avoiding his touch. Her mind had already gone blank because of everything that had happened tonight. "It's been so long, let it go."
"Xiao Yue," Ji Shuyi knelt down on his other leg as well, crawling a few steps, his slightly cool suit trousers rubbing against Liang Yue's pajama pants, "Please don't avoid me, okay?"
He turned Liang Yue's head, his burning gaze trying to see through all her unease, resistance, regret, and that trace of longing that shared his.
"Let's let that matter pass and focus on the present, okay?"
His reasoning and coaxing tone inevitably reminded Liang Yue of the past, when he would explain problems to her in the same way, always asking, "Is it okay? Is it okay..."
...
A warm tear fell onto Ji Shuyi's wrist.
She said in a tearful voice, "You should go now."
“Xiao Yue,” Ji Shuyi moved closer and closer, their breaths seemingly mingling together, “Good children never run away from problems. Like I taught you before, face them head-on.”
Ji Shuyi: "Don't you want to at all?"
No, that's not it. Liang Yue thought to herself, it wasn't that she didn't want to, but rather that she had a fervent desire and impulse for it, which was why she was trapped in that situation she thought was embarrassing.
She had dreamt more than once that she and Ji Shuyi were a couple that everyone envied. Because of this dream, she would feel uncomfortable and flustered when she woke up, and then dislike him even more.
Liang Yue thought helplessly that she still liked Ji Shuyi, especially, especially.
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