34. If you like eccentric people
Fang Kaixuan realized. Since it was just a long business trip, there would always be a time to go back.
It wasn't that he wasn't sad, but Fang Kaixuan told himself that it was best to treat it as a romantic encounter during a trip, and to never contact her again afterward. Trying to enter her life would be truly insane.
Thinking about it this way made him feel much better. Fang Kaixuan even felt a sense of relief, as if the other shoe had finally dropped. Something was wrong with him, and that was it. Otherwise, something would always be wrong. Love never goes so smoothly without hardship.
Fang Kaixuan asked him when he would return, but he didn't answer directly. Instead, he said, "I prefer this era. People are still flawed and have desires; they haven't become perfect, cold, artificial people yet."
"Isn't perfection good enough?"
“Perfect isn’t real enough.” He shook his head. “Besides, purely out of personal motives, I want to understand what love really is.”
Fang Kaixuan laughed: "So, back then, humans stopped falling in love?"
"Love no longer exists because it is inefficient and useless. It does not have any positive effect on the overall operation of society and technological development. On an individual level, it is mostly just a waste of time and energy, an inefficient behavior that squanders one's life. It's like having an airplane today but insisting on taking a horse-drawn carriage to your destination. It's unnecessary, and the result is often bad. Many people's lives have been ruined because of this."
This makes sense. Not to mention much later, even today, the younger generation, younger than Fang Kaixuan, no longer considers dating an essential part of life.
If this continues, in a few decades, the "love-obsessed" mentality will disappear completely, just like smallpox.
"But do you want to give it a try?" Fang Kaixuan asked.
“No, no,” he suddenly said awkwardly, and Fang Kaixuan then realized what he was worried about. “I have absolutely no intention of using you as a guinea pig. I’ve just always been curious whether you are too foolish and naive, or whether our generation is too shallow and utilitarian.”
Like being curious about what an imperfect sunset looks like.
Just like how a gloomy or rainy day, which you might normally dislike, can become a beautiful one.
Just like having a perfectly balanced nutritional meal replacement, you'll still crave delicious food.
Just like in Fang Kaixuan's world, no one would go out to visit friends on a whim because they can't sleep under the moonlight; arriving unannounced is already considered impolite. But "Huaimin is also awake," and many people still often reminisce about it.
"What about families? Don't families even exist anymore?" Fang Kaixuan's curiosity outweighed his fear at this moment.
He paused, as if considering how to say it without being offensive: "You've probably read that monogamous families have existed for a very short time in human history. It's not something to be taken for granted."
Fang Kaixuan had so many questions, so much so that he felt she was the one who was acting strangely.
"Are you really not afraid?" He seemed both disbelieving and relieved.
"I'm scared. Terrified. But I'm inexplicably confident that you won't hurt me." Fang Kaixuan finished speaking righteously, then hesitated, "You won't... right?"
“Of course not.” He laughed, then realized it might not be funny to her, so he stopped.
Fang Kaixuan seemed relieved, but stared at him intently. He felt uneasy under her gaze and shook her arm, as if pleading.
Of all Eason Chan's songs, Fang Kaixuan's favorite is "Back to Basics." In the past, because he loved his partner too much, he subconsciously placed them on a very high pedestal, making himself feel increasingly insignificant. Every word and phrase was a plea for his partner's mercy.
Now that they've both returned to their original selves, this song is perfectly fitting.
If you like eccentric people. Actually, in just a few decades, Fang Kaixuan will become a wrinkled, white-haired old woman. The river of time flows mightily, and no one's reluctance or pleas matter; birth, aging, sickness, and death have never shown mercy to anyone. In ancient times, Qin Shi Huang sought the elixir of immortality, and now a Silicon Valley tycoon is exchanging his son's blood in the hope of preserving his youth—all in an attempt to combat this nothingness.
He didn't frighten her; it was the emptiness of the future that sent chills down her spine.
He seemed to see through her thoughts and said softly, "People in ancient times only lived to be thirty or forty years old, but they were not unhappy."
"But people are greedy; they always want forever." Fang Kaixuan had countless thoughts, but could only express them in such a general way. What she couldn't say was that the few days she had spent with him had given her the illusion that their relationship would last forever.
But forever is an illusion. Once you understand this, you won't be sad anymore.
In just a few short moments, Fang Kaixuan's mind was filled with a myriad of emotions.
She didn't know if he noticed. Perhaps their generation had evolved the skill of ignoring negative emotions.
Dostoevsky said, "Man is a mystery. It must be solved. If you spend your whole life trying to solve it, don't say you've wasted your time. The reason I study this mystery is because I want to be a man."
Therefore, none of this is a waste of time.
Therefore, Fang Kaixuan was ultimately relieved and only asked:
Where are we going tomorrow?
No need to book a trip; just watching the commuter boats come and go from the lakeside is pleasant enough for the two of them. The boats are made of thin steel plates, and sitting on them feels like sitting on waves, making you worry about being thrown off. The exhaust fumes are also untreated and released into the air. But the lake is vast, and once the boats are far away, it still feels serene.
They decided on the spur of the moment to rent a boat and set off, drifting leisurely on the turquoise waters of the lake. The sunlight was intense, but the temperature was just right. Fang Kaixuan lay down in the boat and actually fell asleep.
I woke up unaware that the sky was reflected in the water, only the passing boats creating a gentle ripple.
She volunteered to tell a joke.
Do you know which animal in the zoo is the most powerful?
"who?"
"zebra."
"Why?"
"Because zebras have both white and black stripes." As soon as she said it, she realized how awful it was and covered her face. Golden rays of the setting sun peeked through her fingers as evening approached.
He laughed heartily.
"Can you make time stop?" she asked, thinking to herself, "Humans are so greedy."
“I’m just an ordinary person.” He gently stroked her hair. “Thank you for not abandoning me and for being willing to accompany me to see the world of the past.”
She took his hands and covered her face with them. "You can call me shallow, but I'm really afraid of getting old and don't want to become an old lady."
"Maybe I'll become an old man first."
She shook her head; growing old together was something that couldn't be done.
He shook his head, offering no explanation. The two simply intertwined their fingers, gazing silently at the lake.
In the distance, the sun is nearing the horizon. This sight is unseen in the city, where the horizon is obscured by countless unsightly high-rises. Even without obstruction, even on a clear day, dust and haze always settle in the distance, turning it a grayish-white.
Here, the sun is visibly setting, disappearing below the water's surface. Thinking of you makes me grow old; the years have passed so quickly. In the fading twilight, it's hard not to feel a mix of tenderness and sorrow.
"Then let me tell you another story," she said softly, looking up at his earnest face.
A poor scholar sought lodging along the way. The innkeeper was cooking, so he offered the scholar a celadon pillow for a nap. The scholar, while cooking millet porridge, dreamt of marrying, having children, and enjoying immense wealth and luxury. When he awoke, the millet porridge was still not cooked.
Her story with him was just a fleeting dream.
***
Even if it's a dream, they don't want to wake up, but hotels need to be checked out, flights need to be boarded, and everything in the world still needs to operate according to its inherent laws, and it won't give a couple who believe in time travel an unchanging promise.
When they arrived in the Lake District, they left their large luggage in Antigua, each carrying only a backpack, a few changes of clothes, and toiletries. On the return journey, their luggage was light, making it feel as if they had only gone out temporarily and would be home by dusk.
Little did Fang Kaixuan know that his world had already turned upside down.
“You seem unusually calm. It’s different from the reaction I expected,” Gu Qiye couldn’t help but say on the return trip.
"What do you imagine it would be like? Screaming, crying, utterly terrified?"
"I remember the first time I saw you, you seemed so fragile, as if you had just been pieced together, but you could break at any moment."
A smile involuntarily appeared on Fang Kaixuan's face. Indeed, back then she was like a frightened bird, unable to withstand any fright.
At that time, she could not have imagined that she would travel so far in a year, from the frozen Far East Siberia to the tropical hot cities near the equator. In that year, she broke many limitations and shattered many of her own stereotypes. Looking back, she realized how shallow it was to be a self-important cog in a concrete jungle, wearing high heels and carrying a cup of coffee into the office every day, and looking down on herself.
"The world is vast," Fang Kaixuan told herself.
It can be not only vast, but also expansive. It can encompass not only geography, but also time.
Thinking this way, she wasn't afraid. She was just very uneasy about the ending of the story.
It is impossible to be perfect or live forever.
She guessed that he was thinking about the same question.
However, when neither of them has a solution, neither is willing to speak first. Long-distance relationships, even across borders, are enough to destroy a couple who have vowed to be together forever. Time will only exacerbate the situation.
After a long silence, Fang Kaixuan couldn't help but ask, "Is this... really as simple as taking an airplane?"
He smiled and said, "Today's lifestyle can damage our health. For example, air pollution feels like I'm constantly inhaling secondhand smoke."
"Was this problem solved by then?"
"All the air is filtered and specially treated, as fresh as after rain, which is good for your health. In addition, no one drinks alcohol anymore, which is a proven carcinogen, not to mention cigarettes or drugs."
"So, wasn't it incredibly stupid of us to drink alcohol the other day, like taking poison?"
"No, not at all. Each generation has its own source of happiness."
And you?
"All happiness can be obtained through non-addictive bioelectrical pathways."
"Including sexual pleasure?" Fang Kaixuan asked simply out of curiosity.
He seemed shy, "Things that require the help of real people... are all incredibly troublesome. But naturally there are also a few nostalgic types. Like... forest monks?"
"Your world is so boring." Fang Kaixuan blinked.
“It is indeed much more colorful now,” he admitted.
"So the price is..." Fang Kaixuan didn't forget the key question.
“The current environment,” they said as they boarded the bus, with motorcycles occasionally roaring past outside the window, leaving plumes of black smoke, “is not immediately dangerous to me, but it is toxic because we grew up in an artificially pristine environment.”
Fang Kaixuan suddenly understood, "That's why they age so quickly, isn't it?"
///
I took half a day off today just so I could read on the grass and burst into tears.
Hug hug
This turn of events was truly unexpected... From workplace and highway exploration to philosophical inquiry!
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