19. Love bombing
Feeling completely lost, Fang Kaixuan's first thought was to ask Xiao Ju to chat with him. Their last meeting had almost ended badly. This seemed like a good opportunity to defuse the awkwardness.
Seeing that there was a way out, Xiao Ju readily agreed.
This is the unspoken understanding between two good friends over the years.
However, Fang Kaixuan couldn't bring himself to speak about his boss's indifferent attitude towards the complaints made by the cancer patient's family. Xiao Ju would definitely curse the capitalists for being unscrupulous.
Fang Kaixuan couldn't help but feel guilty. She had been diligent and ambitious all day, hoping to reap what she sowed, but her job was meaningless, merely contributing to the growth of unscrupulous capitalists. So she could only force herself to talk to Xiaoju about her future prospects.
Coincidentally, this is also the life issue that Xiaoju has been worrying about recently.
Colleagues are whispering that the magazine's leadership is discussing cutting the in-depth investigation department and shifting to a short-video-centric operating model. Everyone has KPIs to meet, and only those who can bring in traffic are considered good employees.
The career prospects of Xiaoju and her group are hanging by a thread, depending on the decision of the higher-ups.
"Of course I'll go!" Xiao Ju's eyes widened in response to Fang Kaixuan's question. "Why wouldn't I take this opportunity that's fallen from the sky?"
Which one to go to?
"Both options are good. If it were me, I'd be willing to go either way." Xiao Ju's words were not only meant to comfort, but also to vent her emotions.
In recent years, the media industry has been in a increasingly dire situation. Most of my familiar colleagues have already switched careers. Although I'm still persisting, I'm finding it more and more meaningless. I can't write about topics that interest me, and if I do, I'm bound to be criticized. Either I get a barrage of insults in the comments section, or I offend corporate clients and get asked to delete the article.
The troubles are numerous.
It's safest to write something bland like, "I'm thirty years old, I quit my job at a big factory and went back to my hometown to open a coffee shop."
But Xiao Ju looks down on things that can be mass-produced with AI, so she has recently fallen into a period of professional burnout and lost her fearless and resolute spirit.
Fang Kaixuan told Xiaoju that the boss hadn't decided where to set up the Family Office yet. Seattle or San Francisco would be good places, but the boss's family lived in Portland. Portland was a smaller place, but his wife and children had lived there more than ten years ago. They were used to Oregon's vast, sparsely populated landscape, with snow-capped mountains, the ocean, and volcanic lakes. In the summer, they spent weekends hiking in the mountains or fishing at the beach, and in the winter, they would get up early and ski all day. They loved being friends with nature and didn't want to return to the noisy city.
Fang Kaixuan thought that his boss had been entangled in all sorts of battles with various people and things for years, and after walking a tightrope for so long, he was probably tired. And recently, several old acquaintances had even suddenly disappeared without a trace, so he must be afraid.
This line of work may seem glamorous, but if circumstances change, it's like licking blood from a knife's edge. Wanting to get out as soon as possible is a wise move.
However, with just a thought from the big boss, the fates of those around him would take a turn. For him, it was simply going home, but for Fang Kaixuan, it meant being uprooted and starting from scratch in a new world.
In the long river of history, we are only one in ten thousand of the "ten thousand people displaced".
Nobody cares.
Fang Kaixuan fell into a slump, but Xiao Ju still tried to persuade him: "If it were me, I would go and pledge my loyalty to the boss tomorrow. Wherever the boss goes, I will go, and I will follow him at all times."
This statement is exactly the same as Qin Zhisheng's.
At this moment, Xiao Ju's words were absolutely heartfelt. A boss who is willing to consider the future of his subordinates is much better than a leader who lays off the entire team just because the company isn't making money.
"Exaggeration," Fang Kaixuan chuckled. Xiao Ju knew she wouldn't do something like groveling to her boss.
"I'm not kidding. Not many people know about this right now, so the boss is willing to give you priority in choosing. Do you think his doorstep will be overwhelmed once everyone knows? At that point, the boss will have to assess your loyalty. Hesitation means you're not loyal enough. For people like him, loyalty comes first, and ability takes a backseat."
Upon closer reflection, this makes sense. Modern companies, seemingly well-managed and scientific, are in reality no different from a harem. While ability is important, loyalty remains paramount.
In recent years, especially, business owners have been increasingly insecure, acting like frightened birds, making loyalty all the more important.
“I am indeed hesitant,” Fang Kaixuan said weakly. “Maybe it’s because I’m getting old? The thought of completely changing my living environment doesn’t excite me at all, it’s really giving me a headache. Besides, I can’t just pack you up and take you with me.”
"Save your sweet talk for later." Xiao Ju winked at her. "Honestly, I'm definitely old compared to when I was in my twenties, but one shouldn't accept getting old. Maybe pushing yourself a little will open up a whole new world."
"I really envy you, you always look so dashing," Fang Kaixuan said sincerely.
She herself only felt that old age was approaching.
Perhaps because of the brief but intense fight with Chen Zhilun, Fang Kaixuan was completely drained of his strength.
Although it was described as a "struggle," many things actually happened only deep within her heart. To outsiders, she appeared calm, at most with her brows furrowed slightly.
But the feeling of aging is real. I remember when I first graduated, I would think it was too vulgar when friends who had graduated two years earlier talked about buying houses and stocks. At that time, her mind was only on literature and love, novels or movies.
Things like housing prices or location are just too vulgar.
But now, she's started learning from her colleagues how to calculate retirement benefits and figuring out when it's most cost-effective to retire. Hearing that gold prices have skyrocketed, she's itching to queue up the very next day.
It would be a lie to say I haven't gotten old.
Fang Kaixuan had almost forgotten that she too had once been someone who could leave on a whim, someone who impulsively quit her glamorous job and dared to go to a foreign country with her savings of several years. Now, with experience, qualifications, and savings, she was so weak.
In the shadow of life's upheavals, she almost became a useless person.
As they parted, Xiao Ju patted Fang Kaixuan on the shoulder: "Do you remember what your favorite Huang Biyun said? 'If one day we are swallowed up by the crowd and live a mediocre life, it's because we didn't try to live a fulfilling one.'"
After saying that, she waved goodbye. After taking a few steps, Little Orange turned back, cupping her hands to her mouth, as if calling out:
"Don't let Chen Zhilun bring you down."
Fang Kaixuan smiled and waved, then turned away before two tears streamed down her face. She hadn't cried in a long time; even shedding tears requires a tender heart.
Why is the city full of all this mess?
She longed to escape all of this and return to the icy wilderness.
*
Since leaving the island, Fang Kaixuan and Gu Qiye have maintained constant contact. Thankfully, although he is far away in Siberia, the internet is reliable and there is no time difference with Beijing, so they don't have to wait anxiously for a suitable time to chat.
That night before going to bed, they chatted as usual. Gu Qiye showed the camera a photo of himself with a large dog, which obediently brought its mouth close to his cheek. He, on the other hand, showed a rare smug expression.
After reading it, Fang Kaixuan exclaimed how jealous he was.
She recognized the dog; it was the most unruly one in Khuzhir village. Its home was in the middle of the main street with several restaurants, so she passed by it several times a day. Most of the dogs in the village were free-roaming, but this one was always leashed, its head peeking out from a hole in the wall.
On that wall was a poster with a cartoon image of a dog, and below it, written in the first person as the dog, was the following:
I'm not a bad person, but I'm a little petty. I don't like children.
The dog's serious face is right below the poster, creating an amusing contrast.
No wonder it was chained up. Unlike the other loyal big dogs we met on the island, this dog always seemed very serious and never wagged its tail or tried to please people.
Fang Kaixuan asked, "Tell me, how exactly did you win its favor? It ignored me back then."
"It's smart. Every time I finish eating, I take a meat bone to it, and it understands that I'm a good person."
Fang Kaixuan admired the photo of himself and the animal again. Their smiling faces were so similar, both so simple, without any guile, and completely open to the world.
She told him about her observations, and he became wary: "Is she insulting me?"
Then he comforted himself, "Being like a dog doesn't seem like such a bad thing."
Their conversations always seemed to be the same, without anything profound. Fang Kaixuan rarely asked about his past; she was somewhat shy about showing interest in the details of his life, as if it were an excessive intrusion.
Or perhaps it's a sense of boundaries cultivated through long-term urban life.
He was completely different.
He seemed interested in everything about Fang Kaixuan's past, even the most trivial details. Fang Kaixuan had never met anyone like him. Even someone as meticulous and familiar as Chen Zhilun had only shown such subtle interest in her a long time ago. It was because their worlds were so small back then, and the time they could spend together each day was limited to breaks between classes or after school, which is why they were so eager to explore every little detail of each other's lives.
However, once a person gets past a certain age, they no longer expect newly acquainted members of the opposite sex to be genuinely interested in their life.
It's not that you don't have interests. What company do you work for, what position do you hold, what is your income, do you have stock options, what district is your house in, how much is your mortgage, how many years are left to pay it off... Everyone's life is filled with countless numbers, and a discerning person can piece together whether you are worthy of love from those numbers.
No one cares about your soul. What do you fear, what do you love, what makes you cry, what makes you heartbroken, what makes you wake up at three in the morning and unable to fall back asleep, and where are the wounds from childhood that have never healed?
Occasionally, you might encounter someone who shows concern and asks questions, but it turns out they only had ulterior motives afterward.
That's called "love bombing"—what a brilliant name! Bombing can only ever be short-lived and intense; how could lasting love destroy everything like a bombing?
But Fang Kaixuan thought narcissistically that he was different; he seemed to be simply interested in her.
But what right did she have? At these moments, Fang Kaixuan would become sensitive and humble.
It was all Chen Zhilun's fault that made her start to doubt everything.
What if I wake up to find it's all a dream? What if the man in the snowy wilderness turns around and asks me to invest in cryptocurrency? What if I lose my job tomorrow and really become that loser in my social circle?
///
Don't have Platonic love.
I'm not a Platonic writer, but I really can't write one, so I just let it pass by!
Being able to catch up on updates during holidays is a blessing.
Haha, I'm not very good at writing either.
Trying to update more often~
After writing it myself, I really admire the teachers who can write it.
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