Tian Tong Candy Crush (II)
Sleeping in a big bunk bed is better than losing your head.
And some officials who are sure that they have not committed any crime are relieved.
It’s okay, as long as Xiao Bai Ze finds out all the offenders, they don’t have to live with three or five people... Wait, where is Xiao Bai Ze, why is there no sound? !
The more sensitive officials in Beijing have quickly turned their heads to see the situation of Xiao Bai Ze.
Then they saw that the other party was lying on the table very naturally, with his hands folded and his head buried in his arms - the action was so calm and steady, and he definitely didn’t think that his confession would damage his image.
Beijing officials: "?!"
No wonder they didn’t hear Xu Yanmiao’s voice, so he was going to hide?
Wait -
he hid, what should they do? You won't really have to sleep in a big bunk bed for three to five months, will you?!
The officials in Beijing looked at the small hall in horror, imagining a life where they would have to put tables together and use them as beds. They imagined that the sound of peeing into a spittoon would be heard by all their colleagues, and that anyone who used a particularly smelly toilet would be looked at with unspeakable eyes by their colleagues. Imagine...
In short, isn't this a living hell?
If they couldn't be exposed, they would have begged their grandfather to find out who among them had committed a serious crime, and quickly sentenced them and got out.
The deputy commander of the Central Army, who had returned with a bruised face and nose, looked at the pale walls of the main hall, the swaying branches on the window paper, and Xu Yanmiao pretending to be dead, and felt infinite sadness in his heart.
Because...
"Your Majesty!" The deputy commander of the Central Army said angrily: "I want to poop!"
- Yes, rough people are just that rough.
The deputy commander of the front army sitting next to him quietly distanced himself.
The old emperor, who was also rough, accepted it well and said generously: "Take the spittoon and go behind the screen."
The stench hung over the ministers' noses, and they had tears in their eyes: Your Majesty, can you be lenient and not be so harsh - how can we eat and sleep in the future?
The old emperor had a blank expression: bear it.
The emperor can endure it, so why can't you?
The delicate Xu Lang came out of his state of pretending to be dead.
[Who just said that he was going to the toilet? It stinks...]
At this time, it was the turn of the deputy governor of the Central Army to pretend to be dead.
Xu Yanmiao suddenly thought of something: [Come to think of it, the old emperor should not have prepared toilets for the officials, right?]
- In ancient times, there was also a toilet that was similar to a chair, but with a hole in the middle, and a spittoon was placed under the hole.
- However, ordinary people don't use spittoons. Because spittoons can be sat on directly. But for people who are used to being pampered, asking them to sit on it directly may be a bit of a psychological barrier. That's why toilets came into being.
Xu Yanmiao flipped over and looked horrified: [I'm really not prepared - doesn't that mean that everyone who wants to poop but is worried about getting shit on their butt has to squat? ]
[Stand straight, upper body straight as a piece of iron, legs apart, half squatting? For those who haven't practiced, their legs will get sore and numb after squatting for a dozen breaths? ]
[Isn't this a bit too embarrassing? ! ]
[If it gets outside the spittoon by accident... who will clean it up? ! ]
[Also, even if you don't have a mysophobia, if you sit on it... what if your butt is too big and it gets on your butt when you stand up, do you need to ask a colleague to come in and remove the spittoon? 】
【By the way, if your legs get sore after squatting for too long, should you...】
As Xu Yanmiao thought, he moved his hands up and down: 【Poop for a while, stand for a while, poop for a while, stand for a while...】
Following Xu Yanmiao's inner voice, some people who had not thought of such a thing also began to panic.
——This kind of thing! No! ! ! It
will be shameful to suck on your butt and ask your colleagues to help you pull out the spittoon!
Moreover, if you accidentally urinate or poop, and don't hold it in time, the spittoon will fall off your butt...
Taichang Shaoqing asked stupidly: "Your Majesty, I don't know if you clean the room..."
His Majesty smiled slightly: "What do you think?"
Taichang Shaoqing: "..."
Others: "..."
Okay, they know, do their own things.
After Xu Lang "woke up", his inner voice began to become active again.
He was worried: 【Is this considered Tiantong Battle Royale? It feels a bit scary... Will it involve me? 】
The old emperor was slightly startled.
He thought the little bastard was so heartless that he didn't care about worldly things, but he would be afraid too?
Did he move too much and scare...
【Hehe! It will definitely not involve me. The Jinyiwei is so powerful that they will definitely find out that I haven't done anything wrong. Although I am an official, I am a good citizen! 】
【Then what are you worried about! Lie down! Hurry! Just think of it as living in a dormitory for three to five months! 】
The old emperor: "..."
The officials in Beijing: "..."
They really worried in vain.
【Read gossip to kill time! Go, go, go! 】
The old emperor: "..."
The officials in Beijing: "..."
Why don't you worry about yourself.
＊
Xu Yanmiao took aim at Su Ziguang, who was the first person to be picked out by the old emperor, and swatted him.
[Oh, this seems to be an honest official. He usually eats steamed buns and drinks vegetable soup - quite honest, this one should be able to escape the battle royale, right? ]
[Su Ziguang... this name is also quite elegant and nice. ]
[Wow! He carries more than 20 white hand towels with him, and lends them to others when needed. He also got the nickname "Timely Rain". ]
The deputy governor of the Central Army came out of the toilet and handed the spittoon to the Jinyi Guard outside through the window. After coming out, he looked at Su Ziguang several times and was shocked: "Wow..."
Could it be such a good omen? The first person chosen is a good person?
By the way: "This Su... Mr. Su, can I borrow a towel to wipe my hands?"
Su Ziguang: "..."
After a subtle hesitation, he took out a white hand towel: "Of course."
The deputy commander of the Central Army pulled it unceremoniously, but it didn't move the first time. He exerted force again and finally took it from the other party's hand. In order to prevent the other party from regretting, he quickly wet the white hand towel with tea, wiped it on his hands, and then smiled: "Thank you. I will wash it and return it to you later."
Su Ziguang showed an expression of indifference and smiled: "No need to return it specially. Everyone has inconveniences when going out. It is a good thing that it can help you."
Look! How good he is at talking!
The deputy commander of the Central Army immediately smiled happily: "Where..."
[Wait a minute, Su Ziguang you——]
[Hiss——]
[Sorry, I take back what I said before! You are capable of using civilians' homes as flood discharge areas, you deserve to die! Worse than pigs and dogs! ]
The candlelight was reflected in the young man's pupils, the flames jumped angrily, and there was anger in his black pupils.
Xu Yanmiao was rarely angry.
[Su Ziguang! How dare you! ]
[Your old cold legs are more precious than human life, right? ]
[Originally, the flood should have been discharged where you are - the geographical location of Yangzhou, so that the losses can be controlled to a minimum and there will be no casualties. This is done every year, and the local government and the people can do a good job with their eyes closed. The prefect asked you to leave with kind words, and as compensation, he gave you a more luxurious new mansion, but you felt that the new mansion was damp and not good for your old cold legs, so you refused to go! 】
【Everyone else evacuated! Only you did not move! The prefect was in a hurry to reinforce the embankment, but it was too late! The flood directly hit the households on the other side! 】
【25,000 acres of farmland were affected by the disaster, and 573 families were displaced! 】
【Bastard! You bastard!!! 】
Liang Rui, who was sitting next to Xu Yanmiao, narrowed his eyes suddenly, and felt that he had no sword in his hand at the moment, and could not take the place of the emperor to personally understand Su Ziguang.
Beast!
Calling him a beast is an insult to beasts!
He remembered that after Su Ziguang retired, he lived in Yangzhou, Hanzhong Prefecture. The disaster in Yangzhou was indeed reported to the central court, but no one told them that this disaster was not only a natural disaster, but also a man-made disaster!
The deputy commander of the Central Army was shocked by Su Ziguang's courage and quickly stuffed the wet white towel back into his hand: "Thank you, I have washed my hands, I'll give it back to you!"
Su Ziguang's eyes widened, his face embarrassed - he simply couldn't believe that someone could be so shameless in front of His Majesty and force the dirty towel back into the original owner's hand? !
Before he could finish being embarrassed, he heard the old emperor calling him: "Su Ziguang, come here."
Su Ziguang hurried forward, holding a white towel dripping with water in his hand, as if he was bullied by a high-ranking official, and he looked so pitiful.
The old emperor: "Stand there."
Su Ziguang could only stand there, and everyone's eyes were piercing his back, making him uneasy to stand. He wanted to twist his body but was afraid of losing his composure. He felt as if ants were crawling all over his body.
The old emperor slowly ordered someone to bring a knife and a few branches, and actually slowly started to cut the branches.
[Huh? What is the old emperor doing? ]
Unable to tell, Xu Yanmiao simply stared at this side and didn't check the system for a long time. The old emperor finished his handicraft and placed several wooden sticks on the table.
At this moment, the Jinyiwei came in, holding a notebook and handed it to the emperor.
It seemed that they had found out about Su Ziguang.
Su Ziguang felt his heart pounding and didn't know what his fate would be.
The old emperor asked someone to bring cinnabar and wrote a few words on the wooden sticks. Then, he asked someone to bring a stick tube and put it in. The stick tube was prepared very thoughtfully to prevent the person who grabbed it from slipping. It was covered with a thick layer of cowhide.
Then, the old emperor pretended to flip through the book. Su Ziguang didn't know what he saw. He could only see that as his eyes moved, the emperor's eyes became colder and colder.
Then, His Majesty said, "Please draw a lot."
Su Ziguang gritted his teeth and walked forward, shaking the lot holder. A lot came out, and he looked down and saw: "Exterminate nine clans. "
He bit his lips hard immediately.
He quickly flipped through the other lots in the tube, and there were "Exterminate three clans", "Exterminate ten clans" and so on.
How could there be such a trifling thing in the world! Drawing lots to decide the survival of a clan? !
Su Ziguang was unwilling: "Your Majesty! Why do you want to exterminate my nine clans? I——"
At this moment, Xu Yanmo continued to check the system and pulled out all the gossip about the disaster: [Ah! Yangzhou suffered from floods all year round, and the granaries were insufficient. The governor of Yangzhou at that time turned his face to borrow grain from the local tyrants, and humbly promised to return it double, but the borrowed grain was very little. 】
【The Zhao family said that they were poor and were only willing to borrow 600 dan of grain. 600 dan, the carriage used by the Zhao family was more expensive than this! 】
【The Ding family had even less, only borrowing 100 dan, just like sending beggars away. 】
【The head of the Zhang family went even further, not giving a cent at all, saying that his family couldn't even afford to make ends meet, that he had to pay wages to hundreds of servants and maids, and that he had to support his wife, children, and six concubines, and that he couldn't even afford a bit of food - he was talking nonsense, he and Su Ziguang were in cahoots, Su Ziguang's 6,000 mu of land was fine, and he also kept his 4,000 mu of land, and every day the pig oil lamps were lit from dusk to dawn, how miserable! How could there be no food! 】
【The reason for not lending food was to wait for more refugees so that it would be easier to sign contracts with them to sell their fields, land, children, and themselves. 】
【Isn't this taking advantage of the fire? ! 】
The old emperor's eyes were sharp, with both fear and murderous intent.
Su Ziguang's voice froze when he saw such a look. Whether it was a question or a plea for mercy, he couldn't say anything for a while.
Until the old emperor laughed at someone and told Su Ziguang: "In this case, Su Ziguang, I won't exterminate your nine clans."
In Su Ziguang's surprised eyes, he closed the blank book and said lightly: "Exterminate ten clans."
The ten clans are those who have more friends and disciples than nine clans.
As for who can be called Su Ziguang's friend...
The Jinyiwei commander's eyes that passed over Su Ziguang's scalp were quite meaningful.
Probably the Zhao family, the Ding family, the Zhang family.
Prime Minister Dou brought the whetstone and took the peeling knife from the old emperor.
"Sizzle"
"Sizzle"
"Sizzle"
The sharp sound of the blade rubbing against the whetstone echoed in the room.
The bloody scene was completely revealed. The slave and the ointment seller picked up the knife again.
There was no such moment again, which made others deeply realize: Your Majesty and the Prime Minister are serious.