Chapter 15 The Dust Cover Traveler is Coming Back
In addition to Xiang Li, Zheng Yi and Jiujiu, Jiang Haoxiang has another person he likes very much, the female teacher in the painting studio, Teacher Zhou.
The studio's entrance isn't large, but a different world unfolds once you step inside. Teacher Zhou, in her early forties, has eyes that curve when she smiles, their corners slanting upwards, like water chestnuts. After years of studying in Europe, she opened this small studio upon returning to China. She's not driven by money, and she doesn't teach many students. Her approach to teaching is unique. She doesn't rush students into painting plaster figures or still lifes, but instead lets them doodle freely, letting them experience the lines and colors. She always finds sparkle in even the most imperfect of sketches.
"I really want to, the line you drew is so powerful!"
"This color combination is very bold, the teacher likes it!"
"It doesn't matter if the shape isn't right, as long as the feeling is right, that's fine!"
There's no right or wrong in painting, only expression. Jiang Hao wanted to completely relax here. Unafraid of mistakes, she dared to experiment with colors and compositions. She made rapid progress, especially enjoying drawing figures. She drew Teacher Zhou with her head bowed, laughed, and spun in circles.
Teacher's Day was approaching, and Jiang Hao wanted to prepare a gift. He spent several weekends painting a picture of Teacher Zhou.
In the painting, Teacher Zhou is sitting in front of the studio window, and Jiang Haoxiang painted the picture with extra care.
When she handed the framed painting to Teacher Zhou, she kissed Jiang Haoxiang's hair and cheeks, repeating over and over again: "Thank you! Thank you, Haoxiang, I love it so much! I love you! I love you!"
Teacher Zhou had spent so much time abroad that she was direct in her emotional expressions. She could express the word "love" without hesitation, to her students, her friends, and anything she liked. This left Jiang Hao feeling somewhat bewildered, her heart awash with emotion.
Xiang Li arrived on time to pick up Jiang Haoxiang after class. Jiang Haoxiang, carrying her sketchpad, walked briskly. She ran to Xiang Li and said, "Auntie Mom, I love you!"
This name has a history. One time, she spoke faster than she could think, and she didn't know whether to call her "Mom" or "Auntie," so she ended up mixing it up. Xiang Li laughed so hard he fell backwards, patted her head, and said, "That's good, it's unique. You should call her that from now on."
Jiang Haoxiang said "I love you" with her mouth. Xiang Li looked at the child in front of her who she had watched grow up, and her heart was filled with mixed feelings, bitterness and relief. She pulled Jiang Haoxiang into her arms and said, "I love you too, I really do."
When Jiang Hao returned to the dormitory at noon, the warmth in her heart still lingered. She couldn't help but make a video call to Zheng Yi.
The call was connected, and Zheng Yi on the other side of the screen was at the beach, with the background of a blue sky and an equally blue sea.
"Brother Zheng Yi!"
"What?" Zheng Yi adjusted the camera, revealing his tanned face.
Jiang Hao felt an urge surge up, and also wanted to say to Brother Zheng Yi the same words he had just said to Aunt Xiang Li.
But when the words came to my lips, I couldn't say "I love you".
She held it in for a long time before saying, "Brother Zheng Yi, I like you very much."
Look, how arrogant, just one sentence, coupled with that slightly indulgent tone to add fuel to the fire, sounds like a sister's dependence and closeness to her brother, without any ambiguity.
Zheng Yi didn't think much of it, thinking she was just being coquettish, and casually said, "I quit the painting club after just one week."
"Why?"
"It's boring. I realized I don't really like painting that much. I just thought it looked cool in their promotional posters." Zheng Yi felt relieved. "I'm learning to dive now, which is much more interesting!"
Jiang Haoxiang held the phone tightly, listening to him casually say that he would quit, feeling very disappointed: "Why are you like this?"
Zheng Yi was a little surprised: "What's wrong with me?"
"You--" Jiang Hao wanted to open his mouth, but he couldn't figure out what he was saying.
Zheng Yi had no obligation to like painting, nor had he promised her to keep learning. But she felt lost. It was as if the thread between them, which had been connected by her starting to learn painting, had been severed by him.
Zheng Yi couldn't understand her complex thoughts through the screen, the mountains and rivers, the time difference and the network cable. He felt that Jiang Haoxiang's temper was inexplicable.
He changed the subject: "What did An Fengyang take you to eat yesterday?"
Zheng Yi is a daily fixture on Jiang Haoxiang's WeChat Moments. Yesterday, she posted a nine-square grid. The first eight images are all new work from her studio: still lifes, landscape sketches, and a few adorable photos of herself.
Only the last photo was taken, which was of a restaurant table. The focus was on the refracted light and shadow of the water in the glass, so it was impossible to tell which restaurant it was.
An Fengyang commented under that circle of friends: "Do you like eating here?"
Jiang Haoxiang replied: "I like it"
Zheng Yi turned the photo over and over, zooming in on it, but couldn't make out anything. Whose company was it?
Jiang Haoxiang didn't expect Zheng Yi to ask this out of the blue, so he answered honestly, "I ate at a newly opened Sichuan restaurant."
It was simple. Jiang Hao had previously treated An Fengyang to a meal to repay a favor. An Fengyang had noticed she loved boiled fish. A new Sichuan restaurant had opened near the school, and An Fengyang, remembering it, sent her a WeChat message asking if she wanted to try it together.
Even before this incident, there was another incident. On the day of Jiang Haoxiang's monthly exam, her period suddenly came, causing her to break out in a cold sweat and nearly faint.
She forced herself to ask for leave and went to the infirmary, but it was empty; the school doctor had vanished. She wanted to call Xiang Li, but he was on a plane, his phone turned off. Her roommates were still in the exam room, and she didn't want to disturb them. With no other options, she decided to give it a try and contact An Fengyang on WeChat.
An Fengyang asked her where she was and soon arrived on his bike. He bought some ibuprofen and sanitary napkins, but his only mistake was forgetting that Jiang Haoxiang might need a change of pants. He took off his jacket and handed it to Jiang Haoxiang, asking her to wrap it around her waist to cover her up.
Jiang Haoxiang had been thinking about returning his coat, and she really wanted to eat boiled fish, so she agreed as soon as An Fengyang invited her. She could return his coat and eat something delicious at the same time, killing two birds with one stone.
Zheng Yi on the other end of the phone felt uncomfortable after hearing what Jiang Haoxiang said.
He was almost eighteen, not a child who knew nothing about relationships. He could vaguely sense that his emotions were wrong. He told himself that his feelings for Jiang Hao felt like a responsibility, a brother's care for his sister. She called him "Mom" and called him "Brother." They were family.
The confusion made him even more furious. He suddenly asked, "Do you like An Fengyang?"
Jiang Haoxiang thought his question was completely incomprehensible, and without thinking, he said, "I like you!"
Hearing this answer, Zheng Yi felt relieved... He quickly coaxed Jiang Haoxiang, forced the topic back to diving and studying, and reminded her to eat well.
After hanging up the phone, Jiang Haoxiang felt a little empty inside. She thought back to Zheng Yi's relaxed tone when he talked about quitting the painting club.
Zheng Yi, far away in Spain, put down his phone and the irritation he had just calmed down resurfaced. He found himself a little confused about Jiang Haoxiang, and even more confused about himself.
Life was pushed into a new chapter. Perhaps it was due to Zheng Yi's companionship in Spain, but Zheng's father miraculously managed to hold on for over a year, finally passing away when Zheng Yi entered the second semester of her senior year.
Zheng Yi sat alone in a hospital ward in a foreign country for a long time. Outside the window was the warm Spanish sunshine, just like when he was a teenager. He called Xiang Li and asked, "Mom, do you want to come and see me?"
Xiang Li had originally planned to go; after all, they were married, so it made sense. But then he caught the flu and fell ill with a persistent high fever, requiring hospitalization for observation. He had no choice but to give up.
Zheng's father was a free-spirited man, having spent most of his life in the arts. He wouldn't suddenly embrace tradition after his death. He had no obsession with returning to one's roots, and he was indifferent to his afterlife. He had instructed Zheng Yi to scatter his ashes wherever she pleased, and Zheng Yi complied.
In a different month of the same year, Jiang Haoxiang's grandmother also passed away. Her age made her death a happy one, and her family's grief was tinged with relief. Jiang Haoxiang didn't really have much affection for her grandmother. They met only a handful of times, and she favored boys over girls, neglecting her.
On the day of the funeral, people were coming and going. Jiang Cheng asked Jiang Haoxiang to go to the room where his grandmother had lived before her death to look for something. Jiang Haoxiang opened the door and saw two photo frames on the bedside table. One was of his uncle's son, and the other was of his father's son. Both were grandsons.
Jiang Hao wanted to stand there, looking at the two photos, and felt ridiculous.
She remembered a photo hidden deep in her drawer. It was a photo she, Zheng Yi, and Xiang Li had taken during the Lunar New Year holiday last year, when Zheng Yi had briefly returned home. In the photo, she, Zheng Yi, and Xiang Li stood on either side, all three smiling happily. She secretly printed it out, but she didn't dare show it to her father, not wanting him to know.
She was afraid that her father would be unhappy if she saw it, that her stepmother would think that she was in Cao's camp but her heart was with Han, and that this partiality would hurt them. And it was obvious that it would hurt them.
But why, why could Grandma be so open and honest as to only display photos of her two grandsons, without considering how her granddaughter would feel when seeing them? Why didn't Grandma ever worry that her partiality would cause harm?
Even Jiang Cheng, in order to show family harmony, after taking Jiang Haoxiang back home, forced Jiang Haoxiang, her stepmother and younger brother to take a family photo of the four of them, enlarged it, framed it, and hung it in the most conspicuous place in the living room.
After returning to the school dormitory from the funeral, Jiang Haoxiang felt as if he was out of place in time and space.
There were four of us in the dorm, and three of us had things stuck on our walls: some were idol posters, some were stickers about our favorite games, and some were photos of our families. Jiang Hao felt like the place was completely empty, with nothing there.
One time, when her roommate was cleaning, she casually asked her, "I miss you. Why is there nothing here? It's too simple."
Jiang Haoxiang was facing the math problem: "I'm too lazy to do it."
It wasn't that she was too lazy. It was that she didn't know what to put up. She didn't want to post the photo she'd hidden in her dorm room, fearing her roommate would ask, "Is that your mom and brother?" She didn't know how to explain their relationship.
In truth, Jiang Hao probably didn't need to attend her grandmother's funeral. She could have used the upcoming exam as an excuse. Jiang Cheng held academics in a reverent, almost superstitious light. Ultimately, it wasn't that he truly valued knowledge or his daughter's future, but rather that academics were a priority. Anything related to academics seemed legitimate, a powerful excuse to shirk other responsibilities.
But Jiang Hao didn't seem to use this universal excuse. She still took a leave and came back.
A few months ago, when her grandmother was seriously ill and bedridden, Jiang Hao wanted to go back and see her. Seeing her grandmother was haggard and her eyes looked like she was going through winter, she looked at her granddaughter and asked, "Do you miss your mother?"
With just that one sentence, she fell asleep again after asking her grandma. Jiang Hao thought of being by her bedside at that time, with her hand held by her grandma, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
That night, while video chatting with Zheng Yi, she started to cry. Zheng Yi, on the other side of the screen, was startled and kept asking, "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Who bullied you?"
Jiang Hao wanted to look at Zheng Yi's face, not knowing where to begin. In the end, he only said: "My grandma is dying."
Zheng Yi was unhappy over there because he remembered that Jiang Haoxiang's grandmother was not very kind to her. He thought her tears were strange, but he didn't ask her about it. He just coaxed her: "Don't cry, it's not a big deal. Summer vacation is coming soon and I will come back to see you soon."
After his grandmother passed away, Jiang Cheng seemed to regard Jiang Haoxiang as his emotional confidant.
My son is in elementary school, a mischievous, mischievous young man with terrible grades. His wife, exhausted by the constant chores of household chores and childcare, has lost her former tenderness towards him and is now a daily fixture of complaints and coldness. Now that my mother has passed away, and dealing with relatives is a daunting task, there's a whole host of other things to worry about.
Only Jiang Haoxiang, with her excellent grades, quiet and sensible demeanor, never caused him any trouble. This daughter was his solace. Jiang Cheng always looked for opportunities to verbally express his affection for Jiang Haoxiang: "Haoxiang is the one who makes Dad worry the least. It's really not easy for Dad right now, worrying about everything inside and outside. I'd be thankful if your brother were half as obedient as you."
These words were repeated over and over again, and in the end they always came back to how hard it was for him and how difficult it was to get up there.
Jiang Hao wanted to listen and thought to himself: Is it really that easy for me?
I couldn't say this after all.
On the weekend, An Fengyang took Jiang Haoxiang to buy reference books. While checking out, Jiang Haoxiang's phone rang. It was Jiang Cheng. She stepped aside to answer it.
"I miss you so much. What are you doing? Do you have enough money? Dad just transferred a thousand to you. Buy whatever you want. Your brother is really irritating me lately. You should study hard and read seriously."
Jiang Haoxiang responded with "hmm".
After hanging up the phone, she walked back to the cashier. An Fengyang had already paid for her. Without asking who was calling, he handed her the bag and asked, "What do you want to study? Art?"
Jiang Cheng had never cared about her future or her hobbies. Xiang Li, on the other hand, would often ask her, "I really want to. What major do you want to study? What fields are you interested in? Do you want to continue studying art?"
When Jiang Cheng learned that Xiang Li had sent Jiang Haoxiang to learn painting, he flew into a rage. He called Jiang Haoxiang and asked, "Why are you learning useless things instead of studying? Did Xiang Li instigate you? She's just trying to distract you and affect your studies!"
Jiang Haoxiang clutched the phone, unable to comprehend the source of this fury. How could painting be useless? How could it affect his studies?
When Jiang Haoxiang was most nervous before the final exam, Jiang Cheng and his stepmother had a fierce quarrel at home over a trivial matter. They were almost on the verge of fighting and yelled at each other to ask Jiang Haoxiang, who was reviewing in the room, to come out and take his younger brother out to play.
At that moment, why didn't she think that this would affect her studies?
Jiang Cheng himself didn't understand why he was angry. He just wanted to reject Xiang Li's interference and influence in his daughter's life, and could only make up an excuse that it affected her studies.
But Jiang Hao didn't want Xiang Li to be criticized by her father because of her, and she didn't want to disappoint her. She devoted more energy to her studies, focusing on her studies. She easily got into a key high school and applied for boarding school again.
While she was preparing for the exam, Xiang Li was hospitalized. Jiang Hao wanted to take advantage of the break in her studies to visit her in the hospital.
Xiang Li pretended to put on a stern face when he saw her: "Why are you here? Isn't the exam coming up soon? Go back and read. I'm fine here!"
Jiang Hao seemed to have ignored her. He put down the fruit he had brought and began to pack his clothes skillfully. He put Xiang Li's dirty clothes into a bag and prepared to take them back to wash. He would bring them back after they were washed.
"Auntie, don't worry, I promise I can get into a key high school." She said as she packed.
Xiang Li watched her busying around: "I miss you so much. Auntie isn't demanding that you do well in the exam. I'm just worried that you're working too hard, running back and forth between the hospital and school. Honey, do you understand? You're still a child. There's no need to push yourself so hard."
Jiang Haoxiang shook his head and said nothing, but just tied the bag of dirty clothes.
She took the key to Xiang Li's house and watched him eat before leaving with her clothes. She was very skilled at the routine of returning to Xiang Li's house to do the laundry and then returning to the hospital to deliver the clean clothes.
Jiang Haoxiang later moved the electric fan back to Xiang Li's house. Now it stands in Jiang Haoxiang's room, with a cover on the outside and a layer of dust.
She seemed never to have opened it again.
It just stood there, watching for a long time. It had witnessed her embarrassment, and also carried his protection.
Time has also left its mark on Jiujiu. The lively and active calico cat of the past is now a nine-year-old cat. It's no longer as agile as it was when it was younger, but it's more lazy and no longer runs around the house like it did when it was younger. But it still loves Jiang Haoxiang very much. Every time she comes, it will come over and rub against her legs, purring.
That night, Jiang Hao wanted to stay at Xiang Li's house. After washing up, she carried Jiujiu to her bed. Jiujiu found a comfortable position next to her, pressing her body against hers.
As she was hugging Jiujiu and preparing to fall asleep, Zheng Yi's message came: "I've been accepted into university. I'll be back for summer vacation next month! Jiang Haoxiang, do you miss me?"
Here's another screenshot of an offer from a university in Spain. I applied to the architecture department. It's a very good school, but I imagine the paperwork, documents, and exams won't be easy.
Jiang Hao wanted to look at the words on the screen, then looked down at Jiujiu.
It is quiet outside the window, and the night flows, like tears from heaven flowing into the world, but humans only feel that these tears are gentle.
Those who have traveled far away are about to return, and those who are expected to leave are about to leave.
She replied with an OK, then turned off her phone and closed her eyes.
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