Chapter 5 The ban on the bearing seat has been lifted
If you ask Jiang Hao what he wants to eat, drink, or do, there will be endless questions.
Jiang Hao wants to do this and that, and eat this and that.
Xiang Li used to joke that Jiang Haoxiang shouldn't be called Jiang Haoxiang, but Jiang Buxiang. She has so many things she wants to do, why not just ask her what she doesn't want to do?
"I don't want the cat to disappear." Jiang Haoxiang finally said what he had been holding in his heart for a whole day in the hospital.
Maybe it was because looking at the white walls and white sheets for too long made my eyes a little sore. It was the same reason snow blinded people. Jiang Haoxiang felt like he was going blind right now.
She didn't dare say this at home. That night, despite having a fever, she cried and asked her step-grandmother if she could go find the cat. Her step-grandmother just frowned and said, "Stop it, it's just a cat." Her stepmother didn't say anything, but her face was not happy.
You can't say this in her house. It's wrong and will make the adults angry.
But she wouldn't lie. From the moment Mimi disappeared, this was the only sentence that kept turning over and over in her mind. If she couldn't say this, then the other words would be blocked and there would be no way to say them.
So at this moment, Jiang Hao wanted to look at the people who cared about her and said these words.
Jiang Haoxiang leaned against the headboard, the dining table in front of her overflowing with things. There were the sliced fruit she'd bought from Aunt Li, the AD calcium milk Zheng Yi had bought for the second time, and the leftover mango pudding. It was filled with so much, like a small supermarket.
But Jiang Haoxiang just watched. The excitement faded, and the sadness returned. Xiang Li was tidying up the bedside table. Seeing her listless look, he tried to find a topic: "Haoxiang, is there anything else you want to eat? Or anything you want to play with? Let Zheng Yi buy it for you."
Jiang Hao wanted to shake his head.
Zheng Yi, sitting next to him peeling an apple, looked up and asked, "So what do you want to do? Watch TV? Play the games on my phone? Or should I tell you a joke?"
Jiang Haoxiang still shook his head.
The smile on Xiang Li's face faded. She knew what this cat meant to Jiang Haoxiang.
Zheng Yi stopped peeling the apple. He looked down at the pitted apple in his hand, then at Jiang Hao's expression, which looked like he was about to cry. He cursed in his heart with the curse words he had just learned in the game a few days ago.
He put the apple and the fruit knife on the bedside table, stood up and walked to the bed. He was no longer at a loss as before, but seriously held Jiang Haoxiang's head in his arms again.
"Don't think about it." He tightened his arms a little.
Jiang Haoxiang rested her forehead against his stomach. The words she just said had used up all her courage. Now that she was being held by Zheng Yi, the layer of courage she had been holding on to was as thin and brittle as the shell of a candied haws, and it shattered in an instant.
Silent tears welled up, though Jiang Haoxiang didn't cry out loud. Zheng Yi felt the wetness and knew it was Jiang Haoxiang's tears. He didn't move, didn't say anything, just stood there and let her cry. One hand held her head, the other patted her back.
Xiang Li felt a pang of pain in her nose as she watched this scene. She walked to the other side of the bed and sat on the chair where Zheng Yi had been sitting.
After Jiang Hao wanted to cry for a while, Xiang Li finally spoke in a very soft voice: "I miss you so much, do you miss your mother?"
Jiang Haoxiang raised his head, a little panicked, and shook his head vigorously.
After a while, she realized that this wasn't home, but a hospital. There was no father, no stepmother. Only Aunt Xiang Li and Brother Zheng Yi were there.
She stopped shaking her head and nodded hesitantly, gently tapping Zheng Yi's chest.
Xiang Li looked at her reaction, feeling so bitter that she didn't know what to do. She asked again, "Do you miss your mother?"
Jiang Haoxiang looked at Xiang Li, full of uncertainty: "Can I miss my mother?"
In the Jiang family, mother was a taboo, a bomb that could not be touched. That gentle mother seemed to have been erased from the family with her departure. Mentioning her would make her stepmother unhappy, and so would her father. They would look at her with eyes that she could not understand, and then change the subject.
Jiang Haoxiang had learned to read the air and knew she couldn't mention her mother anymore. She had to pretend to have forgotten her mother.
Her father also praised her for being sensible and grown up because she no longer mentioned her mother.
She repeatedly forced herself not to think of her mother, pretending that she had really forgotten her mother and didn't miss her. She linked the memory of her mother with the cat named Mimi, and every time she called Mimi, she was calling her mother.
But how can there be a child who doesn't miss his mother?
"Of course you can miss Mom, I miss you so much." Xiang Li's voice was firm. "You can miss Mom. You can miss her at any time, of course."
She reached out and gently held Jiang Haoxiang's hand that had not been injected. Her palm was still dry and warm.
"Mom would be very happy if she knew I miss her so much."
Jiang Hao wanted to look at Xiang Li.
The ban on speaking has been lifted.
The bomb's fuse was gently snipped.
She can think now.
She can miss her mother openly.
Jiang Haoxiang's little world was like a strange story with rules, but now Xiang Li abolished all the rules.
More tears welled up in my eyes, but this time they were filled with remorse. Why hadn't I been able to do this before? Why had missing my mom become something wrong?
She leaned against Zheng Yi's arms and sobbed loudly. Zheng Yi held her, and felt a large area of his clothes wet and warm. He didn't quite understand all the twists and turns in this, but he didn't ask anything, just hugged her tighter.
Xiang Li sat next to them, watching quietly without stopping them.
Jiang Hao was tired of crying, so she handed Li a tissue. Zheng Yi let go of her a little and let her wipe her tears herself.
"Auntie, you know my mother, right?"
Xiang Li nodded, his eyes gentle: "More than just knowing each other. Auntie and your mother are very good friends."
"So what does my mother look like?" Her memory of her mother was too vague.
Xiang Li smiled and said, "Your mother has a beautiful smile, with eyes that are curved like crescent moons. She likes to wear white dresses and walks softly. Her voice is also very nice and gentle."
Xiang Li slowly told her about how Lin Ran climbed a tree with her when they were little, but couldn't get down and started crying; how Lin Ran was a good student and always helped her with the questions; how Lin Ran liked small animals, so she picked up the skinny Mimi and fed it little by little until it became a piglet.
The vivid story filled Jiang Haoxiang's memory. Zheng Yi also listened attentively. He only knew that Jiang Haoxiang's biological mother was gone before, but Xiang Li had never explained the details of what happened.
Xiang Li looked at Jiang Haoxiang and said, "Your mother loves you the most. When she was pregnant with you, she would touch her belly and talk to you every day, telling you stories and singing nursery rhymes. She said that no matter whether it was a boy or a girl, she would call her Haoxiang, because having you was the most beautiful thing in her life."
Jiang Haoxiang's eyes became wet again. So that's how her name came about.
Xiang Li held her hand and said seriously, "So, it's normal and necessary to miss your mother. You don't have to think about her secretly. You can say it out loud and tell your aunt anytime. I have many stories about your mother here."
Jiang Haoxiang nodded, and she stretched out her hand, pointing to the untouched box of cut fruit on the table. Zheng Yi immediately reacted, brought the box over, and handed it to her with a small fork.
Jiang Haoxiang picked up a piece of watermelon and fed it to Xiang Li first: "Auntie, you eat it."
Then he fed it to Zheng Yi: "Brother Zheng Yi, you eat it."
Although she has a bit of a temper, Jiang Haoxiang always gives her heart to those who love her. Zheng Yi ate watermelon and thought to himself: I must be very, very good to Jiang Haoxiang.
Zheng Yi fiddled with Jiang Haoxiang's children's mobile phone to check how it was charging.
Xiang Li was still working, and the ward was very quiet.
Zheng Yi put his 70% charged phone back on the bedside table and suddenly sat down next to Xiang Li. Seeing his serious look, Xiang Li also sat up straight and asked what was wrong.
Zheng Yi said with the naiveté of a young man: "Mom, can't we bring Jiang Haoxiang to live with us?"
In his simple world, Jiang Hao wanted to be happier at his house than at her own, so why couldn't she just stay there forever? When a problem arose, they solved it. How simple.
Xiang Li looked into his son's youthful eyes and sighed. He was still a teenager, so naturally he didn't know that the adult world had so many complicated rules and so many necessary ethics.
There are many things you know are wrong, but as an outsider, you can't intervene directly. Overreaching, without justification, can actually make the child's situation even more awkward.
I don’t know about many things. Even if you know that they are right and should be done, you force yourself not to do them because of various concerns. You can only try to give more warmth within the scope allowed.
Zheng Yi didn't understand this yet. He was three years older than Jiang Haoxiang and a good deal taller. But at this moment, in his understanding of the rules of reality and his frustration with them, he wasn't as mature as Jiang Haoxiang, who had been forced to learn to read people's expressions so early on.
So before she could speak to Xiang Li, Jiang Hao wanted to shake her head first. She looked at Zheng Yi and said, "No."
Zheng Yi turned his head to look at her: "Why not?"
Jiang Hao tried to organize his words: "My dad will be back this weekend. I have my own home, so I can't live with you. If I live with you, then what will my home be?"
She couldn't yet articulate the complex reasons—about blood ties, responsibility, the definition of family, and the boundaries of outsider involvement. But her sensitive and precocious heart had already vaguely grasped that things in the world were not always what they wanted.
Home, even if it felt stuffy, was still her place, legally and nominally. No matter what, Jiang Cheng was her father. They were family.
Zheng Yi and Aunt Xiang Li, however kind and warm they were, were still “outsiders.” They were a temporary haven for her when the storm came, but they could not be her permanent anchorage.
Zheng Yi hadn't considered this level at all. He thought, staying wherever you feel comfortable is natural. Why make such a clear distinction between your home and my home? Jiang Hao wanted to come to his house, and since he was willing, Xiang Li couldn't possibly be against it. So, that was it, right?
He was still young, and Xiang Li had protected him so well in the past. He didn't understand the bond between family and others, nor did he understand the difficult balance in Jiang Haoxiang's words. He just felt aggrieved.
Anger flared up, and he blurted out: "How can he be considered your father? How can he be a father!"
Xiang Li's face darkened and he said sternly, "Zheng Yi! How can you talk like that? How can you talk about your elders behind their backs?"
Zheng Yi was scolded and immediately fell silent. But his face was filled with indignation. He felt that he was right! That Uncle Jiang was just not a good father! He didn't care when the cat was lost, and he didn't care when his daughter was burned like that! Why couldn't he say anything?
But he didn't dare to contradict Li again, so he had to stiffen his neck and turn his head away, not looking at Li or Jiang Haoxiang next to him.
Xiang Li looked at her son and knew he was worried about Jiang Haoxiang. Although his words were harsh, they were not entirely wrong. But she could not allow her child to comment on the elders so freely. This was a matter of upbringing and proper manners.
Jiang Haoxiang looked at the mother and son, who suddenly started arguing and then fell silent, feeling a little helpless. She looked at Zheng Yi's tightly clenched fist. She quietly reached out from under the quilt and slid her hand into Zheng Yi's clenched fist.
Zheng Yi froze, straining his strength not to look at Jiang Haoxiang. But his clenched fist loosened slightly, and he gripped Jiang Haoxiang's hand. He remained stubborn, but his ears were turning red.
Jiang Haoxiang gently shook their clasped hands and whispered, "Brother Zheng Yi, the apple is so sweet, have one."
Xiang Li looked at the two children, and the anger he had felt towards his son's outspokenness disappeared.
She didn't continue the previous topic. She just picked up the toothpick with the apple stuck in it and handed it to her son who was still looking away: "Okay, eat some fruit. Stop talking."
Zheng Yi took the toothpick with his other hand and stuffed the apple into his mouth, chewing it with a loud crunch, as if he had a grudge against apples. He held Jiang Haoxiang's hand tightly and never let go.
Xiang Li felt mixed emotions. She knew Zheng Yi's problem stemmed from a sense of justice, while Jiang Haoxiang's rejection was a premature act of sensibility.
She tried to remain calm and communicate with both children on an equal footing, explaining to both Zheng Yi and Jiang Haoxiang, "Zheng Yi, Mom knows you mean well and care about Haoxiang. But every family has its own circumstances. Haoxiang has her own father, and he's her family. As neighbors and friends, we can help and care for Haoxiang when she needs us, but we can't replace her family, nor can we casually criticize our elders. This is politeness, understand?"
Zheng Yi lowered his head and said nothing. He seemed to understand the logic, but he still couldn't get over it emotionally.
Jiang Haoxiang's hand moved within Zheng Yi's. She understood what Aunt Xiang Li meant. It was the same thing she had vaguely sensed.
"Okay, it's getting late." Xiang Li looked at the IV bottle and saw that the medicine was almost gone. "Hao Xiang should rest. Zheng Yi, you have to go to school tomorrow. I'll call a car to take you home. I'll stay with Hao Xiang tonight."
She rang the bell and called the nurse to remove the needle.
Xiang Li helped her tidy up the quilt: "I miss you so much, go to sleep first. Auntie will be up in a while."
Jiang Haoxiang nodded: "Thank you, Auntie."
Zheng Yi let go of Jiang Haoxiang's hand: "I'll come to see you after school tomorrow."
"Goodbye, Brother Zheng Yi."
The ward fell silent again. Jiang Haoxiang lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. There were still marks of the injection on the back of her hand, and the warmth of Zheng Yi in her palm.
The author has something to say:
----------------------
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
