Chapter 15 Returning to Islam from the Dining Hall...
On her way back to the classroom from the cafeteria, Fang Min started cursing Wang Kan in her heart on Monday. But as she cursed, she began cursing herself, and then her resentment quietly turned into self-pity. Night fell, and her world became dark as well. She walked up the dimly lit stairs and into the brightly lit classroom.
Some people were reading, some were chatting quietly, and Sun Tong was eating an apple while reading.
She was first in her class and third in her grade again. Fang Minzhou couldn't describe her feelings.
After sitting down, she opened a book, but she had difficulty concentrating. The more anxious she became, the less she could calm down, like someone who wanted to sleep but couldn't.
Her immediate priority is to clear her mind and stop thinking about things.
What is she thinking?
She wondered if she had been too harsh on Wang Kan. She knew that Wang Kan might not have meant any harm, although not having any harm didn't mean he wouldn't offend others. However, Fang Minzhou couldn't tell whether she had taken her anger out on Wang Kan.
How could she think that she did poorly on the test because of Wang Kan? But she was also indignant, wondering why Wang Kan had improved while she had regressed?
She recalled some things, things she had taken for granted or deliberately ignored, and things she had been aware of yet quietly accepted.
Fang Minzhou felt ashamed.
After struggling through a few chemistry multiple-choice questions, Fang Minzhou re-tied her hair after the other students gradually returned to the classroom, not wanting anyone to notice anything unusual.
When Wang Kan returned to the classroom, he saw Fang Minzhou diligently doing her homework. Zheng Yanhang gave her a wink, and Wang Kan tentatively began, "Just now in the cafeteria..."
Fang Minzhou acted as if she hadn't heard him.
Wang Kan couldn't continue speaking.
When the evening self-study bell rang, Fang Minzhou was even less likely to pay attention to him, but she was sitting right next to him.
Wang Kan tore off another piece of draft paper.
This time, he made sure to tear the edges neatly and carefully wrote: "Sorry, I was in the cafeteria just now."
This time, Fang Minzhou picked up the note.
Wang Kan felt relieved, but was still a little nervous. However, the next second, Fang Minzhou tore the two pieces of paper in half.
In the quiet classroom, the sound of paper being torn was like the fine, dense stitches, barely audible and invisible. Fang Minzhou ignored it and threw the wad of paper in her hand into the trash bag.
Her undisguised indifference made Wang Kan feel as if a part of her had been torn away and thrown away.
He suddenly realized he had been deluding himself.
The balloon was popped, leaving behind ugly latex remnants. He continued to toss notes onto Fang Minzhou's desk, crumpled up or folded into paper airplanes, sporadically, perhaps as revenge, or perhaps to get her attention. When the crumpled note Fang Minzhou threw back, unable to bear it any longer, hit his chin, he stopped laughing.
Fang Minzhou paused, putting aside her apology. She thought that this would calm Wang Kan down, but as soon as her gaze returned to the test paper, another slip of paper floated over and covered the questions.
Fang Minzhou's emotions acted faster than her reason. Like a lit match, she slammed her pen on the table before she could react. "Wang Kan, are you ever going to stop?!"
All eyes were on him, from all sides.
At that moment, Wang Kan was perfectly aware that he had put himself on the edge of a precipice.
A buzz of discussion arose, and Lin Sinian patted the table, "Quiet."
So he fell off the cliff, dragging out two words: "It's not over yet."
The previously noisy classroom suddenly fell silent, and Fang Minzhou's eyes widened.
Ouyang Qian frowned and called out Wang Kan's name, meaning to tell him to stop.
"Hey." Zheng Yanhang couldn't help but tug at Wang Kan's school uniform and whispered, "What are you doing? Didn't you just say in the cafeteria..."
What's wrong with me?
He was furious. Zheng Yanhang glanced at Fang Minzhou and shut his mouth. Wu Cheng mouthed a question to him, but he could only shake his head.
Fang Minzhou's face was burning with anger and the stares of others. Her palms were still throbbing from the slap she had just received. She gripped the pen tightly, feeling not only annoyed and embarrassed, but also disappointed in Wang Kan.
She didn't even know what she was disappointed about.
Lin Sinian walked over and said gently, "Is there anything we can do for you...?"
“It’s nothing, class monitor,” Wang Kan interrupted him rudely.
Lin Sinian was taken aback, but still smiled. This wasn't the first time he had seen Fang Minzhou and Wang Kan argue. He thought that they could resolve things privately, but he was interrupted again, "The last group, you two, come out."
The head of the teaching department stood at the back door of the classroom with a serious expression.
"Evening self-study session, don't you know?"
Standing in the corridor, Fang Minzhou couldn't lift her head at all; she wished she could disappear into a crack in the ground.
"Weren't you arguing fiercely just now? Why are you suddenly silent?"
Still, silence.
A few seconds later, Wang Kan was the first to admit her mistake: "I'm sorry, teacher, I..."
What did you just throw on your deskmate's desk?
Wang Kan licked her dry lips, speechless.
"You dare to do it but not admit it? I'm asking you," the director repeated, enunciating each word clearly, "what did you just throw on your deskmate's desk?"
The night wind grew colder, and Fang Minzhou kept staring at her toes, yet she could feel the director's gaze lingering on her as well. After a while, she heard Wang Kan say, "...I'm sorry, teacher, it was my fault, I won't do it again."
"Wrong, wrong, wrong! You're not embarrassed at all when it comes to apologizing. What are you arguing about? I just want to ask you, what are you arguing about? You don't want to learn, but others do! I've never seen students arguing during evening self-study!" The principal's voice grew louder and louder. "I see you don't want to learn either. You can stand at the door for the rest of the class. If you want to argue, then keep arguing. I'll talk to your teacher, Mr. Zhan!"
Fang Minzhou looked up in alarm, and Wang Kan tried to explain, "Teacher..."
The director left immediately.
It's over.
Wang Kan looked at Fang Minzhou nervously.
Actually, he didn't care. He had been punished by standing before, and he wasn't afraid of losing face or being criticized by the teacher. But... when he saw Fang Minzhou's head almost disappearing into his body, Wang Kan had never felt so awful.
Why did things turn out like this? He was panicked and confused; he was afraid that Fang Minzhou was really angry with him.
"Fang..." he called her cautiously.
Fang Minzhou turned her face away.
Wang Kan had lost his earlier defiant air and could no longer bring himself to shamelessly approach Fang Minzhou and annoy her. He dared not move, cautiously stammering, "I'm sorry, I..."
Fang Minzhou suddenly turned her head and glared at him fiercely.
Wang Kan was stunned.
Her face was red, and her eyes were red too, like a bloodstained knife that had slit his throat.
"I'm sorry..." Wang Kan choked out.
Fang Minzhou turned her head again forcefully, her black hair blending into the night.
The students by the window curiously peered out, and Wang Kan waved them away. A faint autumn breeze blew by, and he felt a chill on his back, realizing he was sweating profusely.
They didn't actually stand at the classroom door until the end of class, because Zhan Minghua quickly came from her office. She strode over, stood quietly at the classroom door for ten seconds without saying a word, but those ten seconds were enough to quell all the unsettling elements. Then, she asked Fang Minzhou and Wang Kan to come to her office.
Looking at the two people in front of him, one with a face full of shame and the other with a face full of guilt, Zhan Minghua asked calmly, "Is there anything you want to say?"
“…Teacher.” Wang Kan said after much painful reflection, “This is my fault. I…disturbed Fang Minzhou’s studies. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
Fang Minzhou focused her gaze on the corner of the table.
"You got this cocky just because you made a little progress on the midterm exam?"
Wang Kan continued to admit his mistakes.
"Minzhou".
Fang Minzhou's heart tightened when her name was suddenly called. She looked up and responded.
"Director Chen said that Wang Kan keeps throwing crumpled paper on your desk. How many times has this happened?" she asked.
There were only the three of them in the office.
“…Just this once today,” Fang Minzhou replied.
Wang Kan clenched his fist.
Zhan Minghua carefully observed the expressions of the two students to confirm whether they were hiding anything.
“Okay,” she said, looking at Wang Kan again. “I arranged for you to sit next to Fang Minzhou because I thought that you would be influenced by your surroundings, including Ouyang Qian and Jin Baihao in the front row. But it wasn’t so that you would disturb their studies.”
“…Teacher!” Wang Kan called out, then realized she had acted too flustered. She calmed herself down and said, “I really know I was wrong, and I will never do it again.”
"Go back and copy all the classical poems from this semester five times."
Wang Kan didn't hesitate for a second: "Okay."
"You can go out now."
Before Wang Kan could even catch his breath, he heard Zhan Minghua ask Fang Minzhou to stay behind. He hurriedly said, "Teacher..."
"I told you, you can go out now."
Wang Kan had no room for maneuver.
After Wang Kan left the office, Zhan Minghua asked Fang Minzhou to find a chair to sit down. She took a sip of water, her expression relaxing a bit. "Actually, after the midterm exams, I wanted to find an opportunity to talk to you."
The mention of the midterm exams made Fang Minzhou's already anxious heart tighten even more, but Teacher Zhan's next words instantly brought tears to Fang Minzhou's eyes. She asked her, "How are you feeling now? Are you okay?"
“…Hmm,” Fang Minzhou said.
"Although your ranking this time is not as good as the entrance exam, you should still affirm your achievements."
Fang Minzhou had no idea that Teacher Zhan was going to say these things to her.
"Look, there's another monthly exam in a month, and then the final exams are right away. When you're in your senior year, there will be mock exams, and even more exams. You won't be able to keep up with all the exams."
Teacher Zhan spoke of the terrible things in a gentle and humorous tone. Fang Minzhou didn't know if she was trying to comfort her, but she still moved the corners of her mouth and smiled.
"You probably feel like you did poorly on every subject, right?"
Fang Minzhou nodded shyly.
"But let's look at it from another angle. You only did a little worse than before, but you didn't fail any subject or anything. This actually shows that your foundation in each subject is good. Compared to some students who are good at math but bad at Chinese, you may not be without an advantage, right?"
After Zhan Minghua finished speaking, he gave Fang Minzhou some time to think before continuing, "You are a very diligent and intelligent student, and every teacher has a good impression of you. The reason I'm telling you this is to let you know that we teachers have great confidence in you and believe that even if you don't do well this time or next time, you won't end up badly because you are a student who sets high standards for yourself. Take it slow, step by step, and you'll find that you've always been making progress. What did your philosophy textbook say? Progress isn't a straight line; it's a spiral ascent, right? You should have even more confidence in yourself."
Fang Minzhou felt as if a walnut was stuck in her throat. She couldn't find her voice, and even when she did, she didn't dare to make a sound. After a long, long time, she finally managed to speak, but her voice was still trembling. She said, "...Thank you, teacher."
"And then... the teacher also needs to apologize to you," Teacher Zhan added.
Fang Minzhou looked at her in astonishment, her eyes filled with tears.
“I only considered that Wang Kan could improve alongside you when I asked him to sit next to you, without taking into account that you might also be influenced by him. Look, I’ll rearrange the seating for you. See where you want to sit or who you want to sit with?”
Fang Minzhou realized that she wasn't very happy about the change of seats.
Because she was the one who lost.
She recalled how, more than a month ago, she had confidently believed that Wang Kan would do even worse on the midterm exam, so badly that she could ask to change deskmates, and so badly that the teachers would worry that Wang Kan would affect her studies.
So, did Wang Kan really affect her studies? So, in everyone's eyes, did she do poorly on the test because of Wang Kan?
Who could she switch with? With Ouyang Qian? Then Jin Baihao would have to sit next to Wang Kan, but Wang Kan would still be sitting behind her... And what if she still didn't do well on the test after switching seats?
The questions that followed all came to mind. Finally, what came to Fang Minzhou's mind was the look Wang Kan gave her as he left—a look of guilt and unease. Although Fang Minzhou knew that he was someone who could say sorry easily and without any burden, someone who had apologies on his lips but never truly reflected on his actions, that look still weighed heavily on her heart.
“…Thank you, teacher, but…” Fang Minzhou hesitated.
"What's wrong?" Zhan Minghua didn't expect Fang Minzhou to hesitate. After a moment's thought, she asked, "Are you worried that no one will be willing to switch with you?"
“…No, actually Wang Kan doesn’t usually bother me much when I’m studying. Just now… it was because of some other things.” Fang Minzhou hesitated, pursed her lips, and said, “I feel that I didn’t do well on the midterm exam this time, mainly because of my own reasons, and it has nothing to do with who my deskmate is.”
Zhan Minghua looked at Fang Minzhou for a long while before saying, "I understand. You're actually right. Studying is a personal matter. I mainly want to see what you think. If you feel you don't need to change, then let's leave it at that for now. But if something like this happens again..."
Fang Minzhou understood.
"Feel free to contact me anytime if you have any questions."
Fang Minzhou once again expressed her heartfelt gratitude: "Okay, thank you, teacher."
She will do well on the exam.
She will prove that she can do well on the exam, and that she will not be influenced by anyone.
A note from the author:
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