Chapter 42 This semester, we're returning...
When students returned to school this semester, the banner announcing their good luck in the college entrance examination had been taken down, but a huge honor roll for the college entrance examination was erected at the entrance of the main school gate.
Fang Minzhou felt that this honor roll was like a mirror that revealed his true nature. When he was in a good mood, he would pass by this display board and couldn't help but imagine the day when his name would also be on it; when he was in a bad mood, he would pass by this display board and feel as if Mount Tai was pressing down on him.
On the day of the college entrance examination mobilization meeting, she listened carefully to the speeches of outstanding graduates, sometimes feeling a sense of resonance, but now she feels it is cruel. At the last memorial service of high school, some classmates have lost their names, and even those who are on the honor roll are once again ranked according to their merits and demerits. But despite thinking this way, she is powerless to break free from the worldly standards of judgment and strive to be a winner in this competition.
The next morning, Fang Min woke up around 1:00 AM. The autumnal equinox had passed, and the nights were getting longer. The bedroom, with the curtains drawn, was still dimly lit. She lay there for another ten minutes with her eyes closed before getting up to wash. In the kitchen, her mother was making breakfast, surprised that she was up so early. She told her to wait a moment, "The noodles will be ready soon. Go see if your father is up yet."
The father just came out of the bedroom. The father and daughter looked at each other but didn't say anything.
With plenty of toppings and ample time, Fang Minzhou slowly finished a bowl of noodles, and then, just as they had agreed the night before, her father took her to school.
The roads were clear in the early morning, and the drive should have only taken about ten minutes, but the silence inside the car made it feel exceptionally long. Later, Dad asked Fang Minzhou what she wanted to eat recently, and Fang Minzhou said anything was fine. Dad said "oh" and then fell silent. Fang Minzhou then mentioned that she wanted roast goose from the market near their home, and the two of them started chatting casually, but both avoided mentioning what happened last night.
When they arrived at the school gate, Fang Minzhou opened the door and got out of the car. "...Let's go, Dad. Drive carefully."
"Okay," Dad said. "Pay attention in class."
Fang Minzhou was very familiar with these four words.
When she was in elementary school, her parents would pick her up and drop her off at school. Every time she arrived at school, they would always remind her to study hard. Her mother would be a little more talkative, and the first thing she would say to her after school was to ask if she had behaved well at school and if she had eaten enough.
There are also memories of sitting on the back of an electric scooter when I was younger. It felt nice to have the wind blowing against my cheeks, but I hated rainy days the most. The smell inside the raincoat made me feel dizzy and nauseous, just like the smell on a bus in the rain.
When recalling the past, the images in Fang Minzhou's mind always shift to a third-person perspective. She seems to see the little girl clumsily getting off the back of the electric scooter, taking the schoolbag, carrying it on her back, and obediently listening to instructions. In her memory, her father appears young and serious, without wrinkles or the faint hesitation and anxiety between his brows.
Fang Minzhou always senses the signs of growing up in these moments.
“Yes, I know,” she said.
When she arrived at the classroom, half of the students had already arrived, including Wang Kan.
He was reading, but his attention wasn't focused. As soon as she stepped into the classroom through the back door, he was the only one who, as if he had eyes in the back of his head, immediately turned around and looked at her. His slightly tired eyes lit up, but considering the occasion, he swallowed back what he wanted to say.
After putting down her schoolbag, Fang Minzhou took her water cup to the corridor to get some water.
Amidst the sound of flowing water, Fang Minzhou heard a clear cough behind her, "...You're a little later than usual today."
She stared at the water glass. "Hmm."
"...Did your dad bring you here?"
"Um."
After Fang Minzhou filled a glass halfway with cold water, he went to fill it with hot water. Wang Kan did not say anything more until the glass was full.
Fang Minzhou closed the lid and turned around, only to find Wang Kan with his head down as if he had done something wrong. Fang Minzhou could only see the top of his hairy head. She was surprised that he only had one hair whorl. She had heard that people with only one hair whorl were more gentle, but she had two. It seemed that this was not true.
Fang Minzhou couldn't help but call out to him, "What are you doing..."
Wang Kan gritted her teeth and looked up anxiously: "Are you alright? Did your parents... scold you?"
Fang Minzhou shook her head: "My parents won't scold me."
Wang Kan breathed a sigh of relief, then cautiously asked, "Then your father... I..."
The corridor was empty at the moment, but teachers and students might pass by at any time. Fang Minzhou whispered, "He asked me if the two of us were... but I said no."
Fang Minzhou still finds it difficult to say the words "dating".
Wang Kan paused for a moment, then stepped forward to get some water. "Yes, we're just ordinary classmates."
Fang Minzhou pursed her lips, "...I'll go back first."
Wang Kan nodded emphatically, then hurriedly called out to her, "Wait, so after that, tonight too..."
"Yes, my dad is here to pick me up."
Wang Kan had mixed feelings, but she could only accept reality and say "okay." Besides, even if Fang Minzhou's parents didn't come to pick her up, she had already said yesterday that she wouldn't let him take her home anymore.
He didn't sleep all night, thinking about many things: how Fang Minzhou was doing, his grades, the gap between him and Fang Minzhou, and the things Fang Minzhou had said...
He rode away and then came back. The bus stop was deserted. An empty night bus stopped and drove away empty. The residential buildings in the distance were brightly lit. He didn't know which light belonged to Fang Minzhou. He was very worried about her situation after returning home. Although her father seemed like a refined man, he still couldn't put his mind at ease after finally receiving news from Fang Minzhou.
Unable to sleep, he got up to do practice problems, but couldn't concentrate. He turned on his computer to play games, but couldn't play either, so he went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. No one was home; his parents were indeed away on business trips again. When his friends learned that his parents were often away, they all expressed envy, even Fang Minzhou was a little surprised. He often acted as if he was so lucky and free, as if he wasn't the one who cried for his parents when he was a child.
After thinking it over, Uncle Fang's anger was understandable.
He wasn't a pessimist, but he had imagined every worst possible outcome. As the night passed and dawn broke, he heard the clear chirping of birds outside his window—it was another day of sunrise. The ink-like bad mood that had accumulated all night, or perhaps more than one night, no longer overflowed but was now contained in a cup, which Wang Kan wanted to pour out.
Things weren't as bad as he'd imagined.
Wang Kan's attempt to act like nothing was wrong was comical, but Fang Minzhou couldn't laugh. Instead, she felt uncomfortable, as if she had seen a clown.
Wang Kan's water cup was full, and he said to her, "You should go back to the classroom first."
Fang Minzhou nodded, but then turned into a clown, jokingly saying, "Study hard."
Wang Kan's expression shifted slightly, and he replied in a similarly nonchalant manner, "Don't worry."
A quiet promise made on an autumn morning.
Today, the teachers all extended the class time. Except for meals, Fang Minzhou was almost always sitting in her seat. She finished her homework early during evening self-study and enjoyed a moment of relaxation, carefully moving her body a bit.
Her new seat was in the third row. Except for Yin Mengran, who was away for art exam training, everyone in her field of vision was engrossed in studying amidst densely packed stacks of books. Just a moment ago, she had been one of them. Once again, briefly pulled away from her original world, Fang Minzhou didn't feel free, but rather somewhat lost.
She inexplicably recalled Wang Kan's accusations from the previous night.
The carousels kept running in one direction, and you could only see what was in front of you. No horse looked back; only the riders would look for their companions. Fang Minzhou touched her neck and awkwardly turned her head. Through her slanted perspective, she saw Wang Kan writing a problem, her brows furrowed, her expression a bit sour, and she seemed rather impatient.
Suddenly, he looked in her direction, paused for a moment, his brows furrowed even more, then relaxed and revealed surprise.
In the vast classroom, the figures, heads bowed, resembled stalks of rice bending low, eagerly awaiting the ripening of knowledge; the two of them were like two grains of rice gazing at each other from afar.
Was it a lack of focus or did she have an extra pair of eyes? Fang Minzhou pursed her lips and turned her head back without making a sound.
However, she found that this "method" could indeed cheer her up... For example, her heart was beating very fast now, which swept away her previous drowsiness.
The bell rang to signal the end of evening self-study, and Fang Minzhou began packing her schoolbag. Ouyang Qian, who had already finished packing, asked her, "Are you leaving so early today?"
“My dad came to pick me up,” she said.
Ouyang Qian: "Huh? Oh... ah?"
Fang Minzhou couldn't help but laugh. Following Ouyang Qian's probing gaze, she saw Wang Kan slowly packing her things, with Zheng Yanhang and Wu Cheng standing beside her. The two of them were also secretly watching them.
On the way to the school's main gate, Fang Minzhou told Ouyang Qian that Wang Kan's father had seen her taking him home last night.
Ouyang Qian imagined the scene and felt a chill run down her spine. "Your dad is quite calm, but you and Wang Kan are definitely not dating. I can be a witness, but if it were my dad, he definitely wouldn't believe it."
Fang Minzhou also knew that her father was actually quite open-minded. Whether he believed it or not, at least verbally he showed her some respect.
“But in that case,” Ouyang Qian said, “you and Wang Kan can’t go home together.”
“Actually… I didn’t want him to take me anymore, it was a waste of time,” Fang Minzhou said. “Right after I said that, my dad showed up.”
Ouyang Qian was slightly surprised. She looked at Fang Minzhou intently. "Wang Kan has no objections?"
Fang Minzhou gave an awkward laugh. She had intentionally omitted her argument with Wang Kan, but Ouyang Qian still noticed. "...It's alright."
"Although I said before that you and my aunt don't look alike, there is one thing you two are similar in."
"……What?"
“You all make decisions for others. For example, there are some things that I have considered the consequences of, but I still want to do things my own way. But my aunt thinks that I should do this or that.” Ouyang Qian said, “Like the matter of Wang Kan taking you home, you don’t care if he wasted his time or not. Anyway, it’s not like you took him home. If he really doesn’t want to take you home, he will say so himself. He’s not stupid.”
"...So, you think I shouldn't have said that?"
Ouyang Qian shook her head. "I'm not saying you did anything wrong. On the contrary, I think Wang Kan is the one who can't see things clearly. I just think..." She paused and looked at Fang Minzhou, "You're thinking about him, but what about yourself?"
Fang Minzhou was speechless.
Ouyang Qian sighed, put her arm around her shoulder, and patted her.
At the school gate, her father's car was already waiting. He saw her, rolled down the window, and Ouyang Qian greeted him confidently: "Hello, Uncle, I'm Minzhou's classmate. My name is Ouyang Qian."
Ouyang Qian is the class monitor and is responsible for signing in at parent-teacher meetings. Fang Liangping also remembered her because Fang Minzhou had mentioned her at home. He asked her a few words of concern, "You are all working hard on your studies now. If you have any problems, please help each other out."
Fang Minzhou felt that her father was implying something, but Ouyang Qian quickly replied, "Yes, actually it was Minzhou who helped me. I always asked her questions."
Dad smiled.
Fang Minzhou admired Ouyang Qian's composure. How could someone like her have the impulse to act without considering the consequences?
After getting on the bus, her father asked her if she was tired, and Fang Minzhou said she was okay.
"This girl, Ouyang, I remember she used to sit in front of you?"
"Okay, now sit in front of me."
Dad replied, "That's good."
The car drove home, passing several boys on bicycles, but Wang Kan was not among them, so Fang Minzhou looked away.
The next day was Saturday. When she arrived at the classroom, she found Wang Kan's midterm exam paper, a box of gummy candies, and a sticky note in her drawer. It read: "I've reviewed and corrected all the questions on the paper. I'm sure I understand them all. Take a look. If you have any questions, just circle them. You don't need to talk to me about them in person. Go home early after school. :)"
...She wasn't actually without any time at all, but she accepted Wang Kan's kindness.
When the classroom was empty at noon, Fang Minzhou stuffed the test paper along with bread into Wang Kan's drawer. She had originally intended to buy him a Coke, but decided to opt for healthier food instead.
For a long time afterward, Fang Minzhou didn't speak to Wang Kan in person, and they barely chatted on QQ either. Even though she hadn't interacted with some of her classmates much in the past year, Fang Minzhou found it strange that she and Wang Kan could maintain such a close, almost invisible relationship. The snacks that occasionally appeared in her drawer and the unspoken glances they exchanged in class became their secret.
When Fang Minzhou had torn out about ten pages from her error notebook, the results of the second monthly exam came out, and she failed to make it into the top ten of her grade.
When she set this goal, she knew it would be difficult to achieve, at least this time. However, she had reached a point where she needed a new goal to break through. Despite falling one place below her midterm score, Fang Minzhou was surprisingly calm. It seemed that the torn-up notes had become her source of confidence, allowing her to face this failure with equanimity and look forward to success next time.
Wang Kan finally reached stage fifty, and Fang Minzhou was genuinely happy for him. She knew that they had both stepped into a new level.
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