Chapter 88 Several years ago, Wang Kan did it against his will…
Several years ago, Wang Kan went to see a psychologist involuntarily.
His mother got him a talisman for protection during her trip, but when she returned, she couldn't find it anywhere. Panicked, all sorts of terrible thoughts rushed through her mind, and she felt it was an extremely ominous sign.
After Wang Kan found it in a small pouch hidden in her handbag, his mother sighed with lingering fear, then solemnly handed the talisman to him, and Wang Kan had no choice but to accept it solemnly as well.
Wang Kan felt that his mother seemed to have more serious psychological problems, but in order not to worry her too much, he went to see the psychologist she had always wanted him to see.
That was actually a less-than-successful psychological counseling session. He was very clear about his emotions and thoughts, and had no intention of talking too much with the doctor. He was just putting on an act in front of his family, just like when he was a child pretending to be doing his homework seriously.
His mother knew nothing about psychologists; it was his cousin who suggested it, and he genuinely believed her. Everything that followed seemed like a sign of improvement to his mother, allowing her to relax and enjoy her semi-retirement life again.
However, the psychologist was no pushover, and that serious consultation had a profound impact on Wang Kan. What struck him most was a remark the doctor made in passing: she said that the patterns of interaction with one's parents and the resulting problems are highly likely to continue in other close relationships.
Therefore, we must confront the problem directly.
Admitting to feeling insecure is something that is difficult for Wang Kan, a man approaching 30, to talk about.
Fang Minzhou's stunned expression made him feel even more ashamed. Although he hadn't acted on impulse, he couldn't help but feel a little regretful at this moment.
Perhaps the question was too sudden, or perhaps the timing wasn't right... He tried to speak up to salvage some dignity and face, and also to lighten the mood, but Fang Minzhou said first, "Actually, we're pretty much in the same boat now..."
His carefully constructed composure plummeted and shattered instantly. He was like the balloon man at the supermarket entrance, seemingly lawless but actually just an empty shell, deflating at the slightest prick.
Looking at Fang Minzhou's hesitant and innocent face, Wang Kan gritted his teeth and tried to smile, because getting angry would only make him look more incompetent. He was actually prepared to be rejected, wasn't he?
“I mean…” Fang Minzhou stepped aside, “Come in and talk.”
“No need, I understand what you mean,” Wang Kan just wanted to leave, he was on the verge of an emotional outburst, “So let’s leave it at that for today? I’m leaving now.”
Fang Minzhou grabbed him, "What do you know?"
Wang Kan looked at her.
"Come in and speak."
Fang Minzhou insisted on pulling him into the house, making Wang Kan take off his coat and sit on the sofa, then poured him a glass of water, saying, "Have a sip."
Wang Kan took the water glass, about to drink, when she realized what was happening, tilted her head back, and said defiantly, "Am I a dog? Do you think I'll do whatever you say?"
"...Why do you always misinterpret what I say? I just wanted you to have some water to calm down."
Wang Kan: "..."
Fang Minzhou was still angry from the night before last, and now seeing Wang Kan reluctantly take a sip of water, she wanted to laugh. But when Wang Kan looked up and stared at her, she coughed and turned her face away to hide it, but was suddenly pulled by him.
Her gasp was silenced by warm lips, and warm water flowed in, most of it spilling out from between her lips and running down her neck into her clothes.
Fang Minzhou shuddered, choked, and sprayed water all over Wang Kan's face.
Fang Minzhou: "..."
Wang Kan: "..."
They each took out tissues and wiped each other's faces, avoiding each other's gazes, but finally looking into each other's eyes.
Fang Minzhou: "Are you addicted to forced kisses?"
Wang Kan avoided the question, saying, "You still haven't said what you mean."
Fang Minzhou observed Wang Kan, "Are you angry or not?"
"I'm not angry."
"Then what's with that expression?"
"What kind of expression is that?" Wang Kan said, somewhat annoyed. "Can't I even be sad about being rejected?"
“I can’t disagree with you even if you do this,” Fang Minzhou said slowly.
Wang Kan glanced at her and said, "Then I agree."
Fang Minzhou: "..."
"Is it even or not? What do you mean by 'almost'?"
“What I mean is,” Fang Minzhou explained, “aren’t we practically living together now? Sometimes you stay at my place, sometimes I stay at yours, so it’s like semi-cohabitation.”
"What do you mean by 'semi-cohabitation'? I've never heard of that. Do you know what I mean by 'cohabitation'?"
“I know,” Fang Minzhou looked at Wang Kan as if she were an idiot, “but are you sure? Even now we still have some privacy, but living together might not necessarily…”
Wang Kan: "I don't need private space."
Fang Minzhou: "...I need it."
Wang Kan shrugged. "Well, I don't need it anyway."
Although Fang Minzhou knew Wang Kan was being unreasonable, she still found it both infuriating and amusing. It wasn't a dog, but it acted like a kitten or puppy, wanting a kennel.
Seeing that Fang Minzhou was silent, Wang Kan was a little afraid that she had been too aggressive just now. "...Do you think we might argue every day and then break up?"
“We won’t argue every day,” Fang Minzhou said, but the frequency will definitely increase, since there are more things to work out. “But whether we’ll break up… as long as you don’t bring it up.”
She told a hellish joke.
Wang Kan was stunned, her face turning red with embarrassment. "You're asking me if I'm angry... You're the one who's still angry with me, aren't you?"
Fang Minzhou glanced at him and retorted with the same words, "Can't I be sad about being dumped?"
Wang Kan: "..."
He sighed and buried his face in Fang Minzhou's neck. "...I was wrong."
Now it was Fang Minzhou's turn to feel a little embarrassed. It wasn't that she wanted Wang Kan to admit her mistake or act coquettishly.
"I won't do it again," he said carefully, giving her a tender kiss on the neck.
Fang Minzhou's body went limp on one side, and she responded with a sound.
She believed him.
She had this kind of trust before, it had been destroyed, and now she has the courage to go forward again without hesitation.
"I know you sometimes find me annoying, and I don't mean it either, so I thought about it, and I think I might feel more at ease if we lived together? Anyway, I can't win an argument with you."
"...It has nothing to do with whether you can win an argument or not. Arguing too much is never good."
“I don’t want to argue either.” Wang Kan pulled Fang Minzhou onto his lap to sit facing him. “I’ve actually always been pretty well-behaved, don’t you think? It’s you who always makes me angry.”
Fang Minzhou felt ticklish from the kisses and flinched back, "...Who made whom angry?"
Wang Kan pressed down on her waist and whispered a reminder: "Don't move around."
Fang Minzhou's face flushed instantly. In winter, her trousers were thick, and she hadn't noticed as she rubbed against them. Now that she wasn't moving, she could feel Wang Kan's erection pressing against her, growing increasingly hard. His kisses became more urgent, and Fang Minzhou's heart pounded in rhythm with his.
After letting him kiss her for a while, Wang Kan said with a slight complaint, "I wanted you to stay at my place before, but you found a place for yourself... Didn't you ever think about coming with me?"
"I have thought about it..."
Wang Kan raised his face, waiting nervously for her to finish her sentence, as if he was already doubting whether he had done something wrong.
Fang Minzhou didn't say anything serious. She smiled and touched Wang Kan's brow, "I'm fine with anything, it depends on you, but..."
"What?"
“I feel like even if we live together, you won’t settle down.” Fang Minzhou tapped his face with her index finger. “It’s just a temporary fix.”
Wang Kan seemed to have been hit where it hurt, but she laughed without any shame and said confidently, "No way, I'll be waiting for you to come back at home these next few days. Doesn't that make life more exciting? Or do you not miss me at all when you're away on business?"
Fang Minzhou neither confirmed nor denied the statement.
He wanted her to say it, and she could only helplessly reply, "I will think about it."
"What do you think? How much do you think about it?"
Fang Minzhou didn't know how to bring it up, so Wang Kan said he would call her later to ask. He said this with a mischievous grin, as if afraid she wouldn't realize what wicked thoughts he had. Fang Minzhou gently pinched Wang Kan's ear, and he exaggeratedly made her laugh.
They are already living together in de facto, and Wang Kan still wants a verbal explanation. After thinking about it, it's probably just a matter of ritual.
"Then I'll move to your place when I get back from my business trip?" Fang Minzhou brought up the important matter.
"Has your contract expired?"
"There are still four or five months left, so you can sublet it."
"I'll move here. It's closer to your company. We can talk about it again when your lease expires."
Fang Minzhou was a little surprised; she had thought Wang Kan would want her to move in. "Okay," she said.
He often stayed at her place, and she had almost everything he needed, so there was nothing extra he needed to move.
Wang Kan saw through Fang Minzhou's thoughts and said half-jokingly, "Because you might have to stay at my place from now on."
Fang Minzhou was stunned for a moment, and after realizing the implication in his words, she couldn't help but glare at him.
The ring box fell out of her cardigan pocket during their intimacy and got stuck in the gap between the sofa and the wall. Inside was a silver ring, very similar to the one she had in college, but more delicate.
Noticing Wang Kan's expectant gaze, Fang Minzhou handed him the ring, then extended her right hand. Wang Kan smiled and kissed the back of her hand before helping her put the ring on. "So, I won't be going back tonight?"
Fang Minzhou's tongue was being held in her mouth, and she mumbled, "Whatever you want..."
After kissing for a while, as they nestled together, panting, she remembered something and asked Wang Kan, "...Do you think I threw away the ring I had before?"
Wang Kan was taken aback, "...You didn't throw it away?"
"No, the photos are deleted. As for the things you gave me... I actually wanted to throw them away and burn them, but I couldn't bear to, so I packed them in a box." Fang Minzhou steadied her breath.
Although I never admitted that I was reluctant to part with them, I believed in another set of fallacies: the more resolute you are, the more it means you can't let go. Burning them will turn them into ashes and follow you, so you should keep them. When you see these things one day and can only smile, it means that everything is truly over.
She never opened the cardboard box again after it was sealed.
"Are you that surprised?" Fang Minzhou looked at Wang Kan and smiled. "Why don't you go and return the ring now? You can still return it, right?"
"I'm not returning it." Wang Kan said, then suddenly stood up, grabbed her legs, and walked towards the bedroom.
Caught off guard, Fang Minzhou squeezed her legs together and hugged Wang Kan's head.
Later, Fang Minzhou had to remind Wang Kan not to forget that she had to go on a business trip the next day. Wang Kan agreed, saying it was the last time, and said a lot of pitiful things, as if he was going to go hungry for the next few days. Fang Minzhou wasn't buying it, but it was the last time, so this time it lasted a lot longer.
Giving and taking only leads to insatiable greed. When Fang Minzhou asked him to hurry up, he refused and even provocatively asked her for help. Fang Minzhou had no choice but to comply. When it was finally over, seeing how happy Wang Kan was, she realized she had been tricked.
Having eaten and drunk her fill, Wang Kan was in a good mood despite Fang Minzhou's absence. It was winter, but she was as radiant as the rising tide of spring, and on the day Fang Minzhou was finally going to return, she was even more beaming with joy.
The weather was beautiful, sunny and warm, and the willow branches by the lake looked like they would sprout new buds in the blink of an eye.
Wang Kan drove to the airport with flowers, but when she saw Fang Minzhou walking out with someone, the little river in her heart instantly froze.
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