Chapter 77 Unwilling to look back, what she once longed for, she no longer desires…
After finishing his business, Bai Xingzhi returned to the old house.
Before even washing off the dust of the journey, he went straight to the side room in the West Garden and opened the drawers of the pear wood cabinet, rummaging through them.
Before he was imprisoned, he clearly hid the item in this hidden compartment, so why is it gone?
He searched the dressing table, bookshelves, and desk in the side room thoroughly, and the drawers were turned upside down. He was sweating profusely, and his usually composed face was filled with anxiety.
"Is this what the Prime Minister is looking for?" Yu Xinyao's voice suddenly came from behind.
Bai Xingzhi turned around abruptly and saw that she was holding a silver hairpin, the very one he had been searching for.
He strode forward and almost snatched the hairpin from him, completely abandoning his usual gentle manners and composure.
When he touched the coolness, his fingertips trembled slightly uncontrollably, and his fingertips unconsciously caressed the words engraved on it. His eyes looked as if he were looking at some rare treasure. After a moment, he carefully put the hairpin into his pocket.
Yu Xinyao stared at him intently for a long time before finally asking, "Is the girl in your heart?"
Bai Xingzhi lowered his eyes and remained silent.
His silence told her the answer.
Actually, she should have guessed it long ago. During his inspection tour, his gaze always followed her intentionally or unintentionally, but she deliberately ignored those gazes.
They had been married for some time, but he always stayed in his study, treating her with the utmost respect, as if she were a stranger.
It turns out he wasn't heartless; rather, his feelings had already been given to someone else.
When he had nothing to do, he often returned to the old house. She had been there a few times. The west wing of the house was a forbidden area of the mansion, and no one was allowed to enter, including her.
Every time she came, she could always see him sitting alone in the west wing of the garden from afar, sometimes for an entire afternoon.
The setting sun shone on his back, making him look indescribably lonely and desolate, like an old man reminiscing about the past, or perhaps waiting for death.
She had heard Gu Xi say that he had saved her, so she must have been living in this West Garden wing room at the time.
She had actually seen this hairpin before; one day she saw him holding it and playing with it, and she thought it was a gift for her.
Later, he did indeed have Butler Bai pick out a few hairpins for her from the jewelry store and send them over, but none of them were the one he was looking for.
It turns out that this hairpin already had its own owner, but it wasn't her.
She didn't know why she agreed to the arranged marriage. Perhaps she was captivated by his good looks. He was the most handsome man she had ever seen, and he had a different kind of aura from Gu Xiao and the others. His politeness was tinged with indifference and aloofness, which made people want to find out more about him.
However, Yu Xinyao is capable of letting go easily and will not focus on a relationship that does not belong to her.
Besides, he loves Gu Xi, her best friend. She is such a pure and kind person, worthy of all the love and cherishing in the world.
Thinking of this, she suddenly smiled with relief, "Let's get a divorce." Her tone was light.
"good."
***
On the other side.
After Xiao Heng and Xiao Che finished their fight, they hurriedly headed towards Weiyang Palace.
Every step felt like walking on a knife's edge, torn between joy and panic.
His realization came so late. Recalling the hurt he had caused her, and the way she looked at him with such vulnerability and helplessness, a dull pain suddenly shot through his chest.
Xiao Heng stood in front of Gu Xi's bedroom, raised his hand and then lowered it, finally pushing the door open forcefully.
Besides Gu Xi, there were several palace maids in the room, all sitting around the table. When they heard the noise, they all turned around and looked over. When they saw that it was Xiao Heng, they quickly got up to greet him.
Gu Xi stood at the front, with several palace maids following behind her.
"Your Majesty, I pay my respects!"
"This servant greets Your Majesty!"
Xiao Heng looked intently at Gu Xi, helped her up with both hands, and said in a slightly hoarse voice, "Rise."
Gu Xi looked up and saw his eyes. She was stunned for a moment, then noticed the injuries on his face. There was a bloodstain on his brow bone, a gaping wound at the corner of his lip with faint traces of blood, and the collar of his dragon robe was torn, making him look somewhat disheveled.
what happens?
"His Majesty is injured?" Her tone was indifferent, neither warm nor distant, like a casual greeting to someone she knew, without any extra emotion. "Chief Steward Zhao, has the imperial physician been summoned for His Majesty?" She looked at Zhao Fuquan behind Xiao Heng.
Before Zhao Fuquan could reply, he heard Xiao Heng say, "No need, you handle it for me." His eyes remained fervent.
Gu Xi lowered her eyes to avoid his gaze, somewhat puzzled, but still smiled and said, "The Imperial Hospital is more appropriate."
Xiao Heng stared at her intently, without saying anything more.
He thought she must be angry with him.
He commanded, "You all step back."
As soon as he finished speaking, everyone in the room left, and the door was closed.
Gu Xi frowned at him, not understanding his intentions, but she didn't want to have too much contact with him right now. She hoped that she could live out the rest of her days in peace.
Xiao Heng's Adam's apple bobbed as he cautiously asked, "Gu Xi, the person you love is me, isn't it?" His eyes were filled with anticipation and longing.
Gu Xi was slightly taken aback, then smiled and said, "What nonsense is Your Majesty talking about? I made myself very clear that day."
Given their current state, it's pointless to even talk about love anymore.
She now only hopes to live a few more days and doesn't want to get entangled with him anymore in these matters.
He suddenly grabbed Gu Xi's shoulders and stubbornly asked again, "I'm asking you, you love me, don't you?"
Gu Xi smiled slightly and shook her head. "No, Your Majesty, I do not love you." At least not now.
The certainty and seriousness in her eyes flustered him, and his tone suddenly became uncertain, "Xiao Che said, you did this for me..."
Gu Xi maintained a faint smile on her face. "Your Majesty, I simply do not wish for the people of our Sheng Kingdom to fall into the hands of the Qi Kingdom."
She told him a thousand times before, but he never believed her. Why bother now?
Upon hearing this, Xiao Heng slowly released her, his eyes filled with dejection.
Gu Xi, are you not even willing to lie to me now?
Seemingly unwilling to believe that the hope that had just been ignited had been shattered, he continued to ask, "Then why did you want to return to my side before?" His eyes were filled with hope.
The smile on Gu Xi's lips suddenly faded, as painful memories came flooding back: the her who begged him to come back to her, the her who humbly pleaded for his pity—memories she herself didn't want to recall.
She opened her mouth, her tone calm, "Didn't Your Majesty say that I was afraid of losing your favor and having no one to protect me?" She paused, looking at him firmly, "But I don't need that now."
She doesn't need his protection, his company, or his love.
What she once longed for, she no longer needs.
She smiled faintly, "Speaking of which, I must thank Your Majesty for promoting me to the rank of Consort. Now, who in the palace doesn't show me some respect? I didn't understand before. If I had known this earlier, I wouldn't have bothered Your Majesty back then." Her voice carried just the right amount of earnestness, but her eyes seemed to be veiled in mist. "Please, Your Majesty, for the sake of our past relationship, don't take it back. After all, this is the only thing I can rely on now."
After saying this, a bitter feeling suddenly welled up in her heart. She never knew she could say such hurtful things, and she didn't know whether to be happy or sad.
But now, all she wants is to sever this relationship as soon as possible, to get him completely away from her, and to have nothing to do with each other anymore.
Xiao Heng froze, his expectant gaze gradually darkening, his eyes turning as if covered in frost. "So, the person you love is still him, right?"
Gu Xi simply looked at him silently, unwilling to answer his question any further.
"Aren't you afraid I'll kill him?!"
"If Your Majesty kills him, I will go down and join him." After this incident, she already knew that he would not kill Bai Xingzhi, no matter what the reason.
Xiao Heng shuddered, staring at her with utter shock. His heart felt like it had been stabbed; she was actually willing to die for him!
"Does Your Majesty have any other questions?" Gu Xi asked in a calm tone.
Xiao Heng continued to stare intently at her, his eyes filled with hatred and anger, but she no longer cared.
“If not, Your Majesty, I will not keep you any longer,” she said with a slight bow. “Your Majesty, I respectfully see you off.” She then took two steps forward and opened the door, adopting a gesture of seeing a guest off.
It was noon, time for her to eat. She still had many medical cases to record and no energy left to deal with him.
Xiao Heng stared at her for a long time. The cold wind outside blew in, making her hair flutter. He subconsciously reached out to straighten her hair, but Gu Xi turned her head slightly away, leaving his hand hanging in mid-air.
He slowly clenched his palms, letting them fall to his sides. As he turned to step out of the room, he paused, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Don't overwork yourself with your current condition."
"Thank you for your consideration, Your Majesty..." She paused, her tone indifferent, "Remember to apply medicine to the injury on Your Majesty's face."
"Hmm." After saying that, he strode out of Weiyang Palace.
Gu Xi watched his departing figure, then lowered her eyes and closed the door.
It was impossible between them anymore. From the moment she decided to give up, she wouldn't allow herself to turn back.
After seeing Xiao Heng off, she busied herself with her work in an orderly fashion, and didn't go to bed until 9 PM.
She thought he wouldn't come back, but as she drifted off to sleep that night, she suddenly felt someone embrace her, whispering something in her ear. She knew who it was without even opening her eyes, drawn by that familiar scent. But when she woke up in the morning, he was gone.
***
At the beginning of Mao Shi (5-7 AM), the sky was just beginning to brighten.
A sliver of light peeked through the sky, and the cold mist shrouded the frost and snow, creating a hazy scene along the palace road.
Xiao Heng had just left Weiyang Palace and was walking towards Qianqing Palace through the snow. His black boots left a trail of footprints on the ground.
As I passed by the lake in the Imperial Garden, I saw several palace servants from the Imperial Household Department standing on the ice, using long poles to chisel and retrieve some dead branches and other objects, which were scattered on the shore.
He had no intention of lingering until he heard a palace servant's exclamation behind him, a clear voice spreading through the morning mist: "Hey! Why is there a lantern here?"
"Let me see," another palace servant's voice rang out, "It really is! Who put it there?"
"The signature reads 'Gu Xihe'..."
Xiao Heng's steps subconsciously stopped.
"Gu Xi? Isn't Gu Xi the Consort Xi? What's she to you?" the palace maid asked curiously.
"See for yourself..." How could one possibly reveal the Emperor's name!
"Ah! I remember now, I gave her this lantern back when she was still Consort Gu!"
The two palace maids then chattered on and on about something else.
Xiao Heng stood there for a while, then instructed Zhao Fuquan beside him, "Go and get it."
"yes."
Zhao Fuquan accepted the order, walked briskly to the shore, took the lantern from the two palace maids, carefully brushed away the broken ice and water plants on the surface, and quickly returned to Xiao Heng's side, presenting it with both hands.
Xiao Heng lowered his eyes and, by the light of day, he saw that the lamp surface was wrinkled from being soaked in water, and the bamboo frame was rotten. Only a small section in the middle was still intact, where a note was hidden, the ink spreading through the back of the paper.
He reached out and took the damp, soft Xuan paper, unfolded it with his fingertips, and although the ink was faint, it was still clearly visible—it was her handwriting.
"May our ruler's wishes be fulfilled and may peace prevail year after year."
The inscription at the end reads: "Xiao Heng and Gu Xi."
His hand holding the paper trembled slightly, and after a while he said, "Go and call that palace maid over."
"yes."
Zhao Fuquan quickly brought the palace maid over.
"This servant greets Your Majesty!" There was a hint of panic in the palace maid's voice. She hadn't noticed the Emperor was nearby and didn't know if she had said something wrong that might have angered him.
Zhao Fuquan whispered in her ear, "Don't panic, the Emperor is just asking you a question, just answer truthfully."
The palace maid nodded slightly.
Xiao Heng asked uncertainly, "What does it mean when a woman writes about lanterns?"
The palace maid thought for a moment and replied, "Your Majesty, I wish to be with the man I love forever."
"With...the man I love?" Xiao Heng's eyes showed a hint of confusion and disbelief.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
When did you give her this lantern?
"Your Majesty, this is a lantern from before the Qixi Festival this year. When Consort Xi passed by the lake, she asked me for one."
Before the Qixi Festival... that was before the imperial procession; it turns out she was already...
He suddenly remembered that Mu Yunqi had told him in prison that she loved him, but he didn't believe her.
Xiao Heng stared at the Xuan paper in his hand for a long time. The writing was very faint, but his heart felt as if it had been branded by a hot iron. The burning pain spread to his limbs and brought him a tearing pain of regret.
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Author's Note: Here it comes, step by step [Let me see].
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