Chapter 73 I have never loved you, Your Majesty. ...
Gu Xi had been kneeling in the snow for a short while when Zhao Fuquan came out and called her.
She went inside and discovered that Consort Shu was also there.
Gu Xi gave a self-deprecating smile. Perhaps she had already moved into the Qianqing Palace, but she just didn't know it.
Hearing the noise, Xiao Heng continued reviewing the memorials without looking up, while Consort Shu looked at her with ill intent.
Gu Xi stood inside the door, not daring to go forward. Zhao Fuquan brought her some hot tea, and after drinking a few sips, her body gradually warmed up.
With others present, she didn't know how to speak. Neither pleading for him nor revealing Bai Xingzhi's background was appropriate for Consort Shu to hear.
Consort Shu seemed to see through her hesitation, and suddenly walked slowly toward her, smiling as she said, "Sister, no matter what you do, it's useless. Do you know why?" There was sarcasm in that smile.
Gu Xi looked at her, puzzled. Xiao Heng paused, his hand holding the pen still.
Consort Shu whispered in Gu Xi's ear, "Because you are nothing more than a substitute for me. Now that I have returned to the Emperor's side, what need is there for you, this imposter, to exist?"
Gu Xi looked up abruptly, a thunderbolt striking her heart. She instinctively asked, "What stand-in?"
Consort Shu raised an eyebrow, her smile deepening: "Don't you think we look a bit alike?"
She continued, "My sister doesn't know this yet, but on the day you returned to the palace, the Emperor sent people with heavy guards to protect me, fearing that the Empress Dowager might harm me."
Even though he's angry with me, he still can't let me go.
Gu Xi stared intently at Consort Shu, and suddenly the words Xiao Heng had said that day echoed in her ears—"Don't you know why I like you?"
She suddenly froze, staggered back two steps, and unconsciously shook her head.
No, no, she's lying, she doesn't believe it.
He simply no longer loves her; she is not a substitute, she is not.
She stared blankly at Xiao Heng, her red lips slightly parted, "What she said isn't true, she's lying, isn't she?" The voice sounded like it wasn't her own.
I'll believe you as long as you say no.
Xiao Heng looked up at her, pursed his lips, and after a moment spoke: "Since you already know, there's no need for me to hide it from you anymore." His voice was hoarse.
Gu Xi swayed upon hearing this; she still didn't believe it. He must have his reasons, it must be like this.
Her eyes suddenly lit up, and with a strength she didn't know she possessed, she pushed Consort Shu out of the palace, to a place where she could no longer hear her and Xiao Heng's conversation.
She returned to the front hall, stood inside the door, and said breathlessly, "Was all the kindness you showed me before fake? You even wanted to kill Lu Yong for me, but were you just using me as a substitute?"
Xiao Heng glanced towards the door, gripped the pen in his hand tightly, his knuckles turning white. "That's because he acted on his own initiative and almost ruined my plans. If you die, how can you protect her?"
"Are you still wondering why I treated you this way after I found out about your affair with Bai Xingzhi?"
"That's because you are still my woman, whether I like it or not..." Xiao Heng swallowed hard and didn't continue.
Gu Xi stared at him blankly, then suddenly smiled sadly. So that's how it is.
It turns out that it was all just wishful thinking on her part from beginning to end. No wonder he suddenly hated her so much. It was because his beloved had returned to his side, and she was just a shadow of that person.
A shadow that is dispensable.
Gu Xi suddenly turned around, a metallic taste rising in her throat. Blood trickled down the corner of her mouth, but she caught it in her palm, not letting a single drop fall to the ground.
She firmly gripped the doorframe with her other hand, preventing herself from falling. Her back was straight; she had never felt so strong before. Her pitiful pride would never allow her to collapse in front of him.
No, no, she still felt something was wrong, but suddenly she didn't have the courage to ask.
She was afraid to hear an even crueler answer.
She walked out of the Qianqing Palace step by step. As she passed by Consort Shu, she suddenly leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Sister, there is something else I must tell you." She looked at the blood on Gu Xi's lips and smiled triumphantly, "About a month after you returned to the palace, the Emperor stayed at my place one night. I heard that you even went to the Imperial Study to see him that night, is that right?"
Gu Xi's pupils contracted sharply, her face turned even whiter than the snow, and her lips trembled unconsciously.
That night, was it the night she was poisoned and about to die?
It turned out he was right beside her.
That night, as she writhed in pain on the bed, grieving that she couldn't say a proper goodbye to him before she died, he was right beside her.
Gu Xi suddenly smiled, a low laugh, it was hard to tell whether she was laughing at her own foolishness or her own stupidity.
She stumbled and fell countless times in the snow as she walked towards Weiyang Palace, only to get up again each time.
For the first time, she realized how vast the palace was and how cold the snow was; it seemed as if she could never find her way back.
His wet hair clung to his forehead, and blood dripped from his lips down his chin, splashing onto the snow and breaking into tiny, crimson specks.
The snowmelt, mixed with blood, stained her pale face with a striking red, making her look as tragically beautiful as a ghostly bride.
In the end, my sincerity was misplaced.
The dull pain in her chest grew more and more intense. She hunched over and struggled forward, her face contorted in pain, the liquid on her skin indistinguishable between snow and sweat.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. She felt as if something was draining from her body. Was she going to lose her baby?
She hadn't even had a chance to feel his presence before he was going to leave her, was she?
She was too useless; she couldn't hold onto anything.
*
Inside the Qianqing Palace.
Xiao Heng sat on the throne and frowned.
Dealing with this Consort Shu has been exhausting lately. She wasn't always this difficult to deal with. If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have used her in the first place.
Zhao Fuquan glanced towards the entrance of the main hall, then whispered in Xiao Heng's ear, "Your Majesty, Wei Ran just came to report that Consort Xi is pregnant!"
Starting two days ago, he had been following Xiao Heng's instructions to secretly send people to guard the vicinity of Weiyang Palace.
"Really?!" Xiao Heng's eyes lit up, and he suddenly stood up.
"Really!" Zhao Fuquan nodded, his face beaming with joy.
After so many years, the Emperor is finally going to have his own offspring; otherwise, it's hard to say who will inherit this prosperous kingdom.
He was very worried seeing the two of them fighting like this, and perhaps this child would be a turning point.
Xiao Heng lowered his voice, "Why are you only saying this now?"
He just made her kneel in the snow; I wonder if she got hurt.
He suddenly glanced at the door with a sinister look in his eyes.
"That person was here the whole time, and..." Zhao Fuquan glanced at the entrance of the main hall again and whispered, "I didn't have a chance to say it!"
"Hurry!" Xiao Heng urged.
As they spoke, Zhao Fuquan draped Xiao Heng's cloak over his shoulders, and the two quickly walked out of the hall.
Xiao Heng and Zhao Fuquan soon arrived at Weiyang Palace.
As soon as I stepped into Gu Xi's room, I smelled a strong smell of medicine and blood.
Xiao Heng paused, his gaze first falling on the empty bowl on the table, where some medicine juice remained.
He turned sharply to look at Gu Xi on the bed, strode to the bedside, and saw that her face was as pale as paper and her eyes were lightly closed. "What did you drink?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.
Xiao Heng's voice suddenly rose, filled with anger and disbelief, "I'm asking you what you drank?!"
Gu Xi suddenly opened her eyes, her tone calm, "What does Your Majesty think it is?"
Xiao Heng suddenly grabbed Gu Xi's shoulders, his eyes seeming to see right through her. "Where's the child? I'm asking you where the child is!"
"That's all." The tone was indifferent.
Xiao Heng looked at her in disbelief, his eyes filled with deep pain. "You hate me that much? So much that you want to kill my child?"
Gu Xi remained calm and said, "Your Majesty is joking. How could I hate Your Majesty? I have never loved Your Majesty. If there is no love, how can there be hatred?"
Upon hearing this, Xiao Heng released her shoulder and stood up with a hunched back.
It turns out she didn't even hate him.
Yes, where does hate come from without love?
She said she had never loved him.
Xiao Heng staggered back two steps, his voice weak, "Gu Xi, do you even have a heart?"
Gu Xi chuckled softly upon hearing this.
Does she have no heart?
She offered him her whole heart, and he trampled on her without hesitation, but what was the result?
How she wished she really had no heart.
Gu Xi suddenly gave a mocking smile.
When I said I loved you, you didn't believe me, but when I said I didn't love you, you believed me.
But she said nothing, then changed the subject, "You can't kill him, he's the late emperor's son."
"What nonsense are you talking about?" The pain in her eyes had not yet subsided.
“I’m telling the truth.”
Xiao Heng suddenly understood what she was saying, his voice hoarse, "Even if what you're saying is true, I will still kill him!" Every word seemed to be squeezed out from between his teeth, "Otherwise, are you going to keep him around to compete with me for the throne? So you can be with him then!"
Gu Xi did not answer his question, nor did she care what he said; she had done all she could.
Just as Xiao Heng was about to turn and leave, Gu Xi closed her eyes and asked in a hoarse voice, "Am I a substitute?"
"Do you care?" Xiao Heng paused in his steps.
"care."
"no."
He never considered her a substitute for anyone else, nor did he ever think that anyone could be her substitute.
The woman did resemble her in some ways, which is why he took a second look at her. His mother assumed he liked her and placed her by his side.
In order to deceive the Empress Dowager, he would always make a show of visiting the various palaces. Each time he went, the woman would just play the zither, and he didn't have to deal with her, so he was happy to have some peace and quiet.
He played a violin for her there, hoping that one day he could give it to her in person.
He held the zither in his hands every day, polishing it meticulously. Whenever he saw the zither, it was as if she were right in front of him.
Listening to those piano notes, he would think of her, and the piece she composed for him.
Unfortunately, she had already forgotten.
"Um."
It doesn't matter anymore.
She just wanted an answer.
"Call Mu Yunke over, and you all stay and watch over her," Xiao Heng instructed before heading out of Weiyang Palace.
“Yes!” Wei Lin and Wei Ran replied.
After Xiao Heng left, Gu Xi suddenly rushed into the flower garden. Wei Lin and Wei Ran wanted to stop her, but couldn't bear to.
She dug into the snow with both hands, pulled out a few roots from the soil, and swallowed them without even washing them, mixed with snow water and mud. Then she dragged herself back into the house and lay down on the bed.
When Gu Xi woke up, she felt her pulse and smiled with relief.
If she dies, it would be good if she could leave behind a child in this world.
But if he doesn't have his parents' company, will he have a hard time?
But she couldn't bear to part with him.
At night, Zhu Yin stayed by Gu Xi's side until she fell asleep.
In the early morning, the sunlight streamed in through the window, warming her face. Gu Xi rubbed her eyes, paused in her actions, and suddenly opened them wide.
The morning sun doesn't usually reach the bed, so where is she now?
Gu Xi sat up abruptly, looked around, and realized she was in an unfamiliar place, which made her panic.
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Author's note: That's all for now. I originally wanted to update more. Finally, I've managed to complete the synopsis.
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