Chapter 84 The Pain of Losing a Beloved "Gu Xi, is that you?"...
Inside the sleeping quarters of the Qianqing Palace, the underfloor heating and charcoal fire created a warm atmosphere, while outside the window, snowflakes fell incessantly and the wind howled fiercely.
The imperial physicians and palace servants knelt on the ground, all waiting for the noble man on the bed to wake up; he had been unconscious for three hours.
He had just lost his beloved a few days ago.
Previously, people might not have known what kind of presence the newly appointed empress held in the emperor's heart, but in the past few days, it is likely that everyone in the Sheng Kingdom knows about her.
However, even the most intense love cannot awaken the dead.
They lamented that even their powerful king, with supreme authority, was powerless in the face of life and death.
"The Emperor is awake! The Emperor is awake!"
With a startled cry, Xiao Heng abruptly opened his eyes. The imperial physician had just taken a step forward when he sat up in shock and rushed out of the Qianqing Palace in the next moment.
It's a dream, it must be a dream.
She didn't die; she must still be waiting for him in Weiyang Palace.
Just like every day before, she was annoyed with him and didn't want to talk to him, but as long as he went there, he could still see her.
His body was still stiff, but his steps were not affected in the slightest; in fact, they were even faster than usual. In no time, he arrived in front of her bedchamber.
He stood in front of the door, his heart pounding like a drum, because he had just run too fast.
He gently pushed her away, afraid of disturbing her.
It is now dusk, and she must be lying on that chaise longue, holding a book in her hands, waiting for her maid to call her for dinner.
The door opened with a creaking sound that was particularly clear in the empty courtyard.
There was no one on the couch.
The room was freezing cold, even colder than outside. The heating wasn't on, and there was no charcoal fire.
It must be those servants who are not doing their job properly. She is gentle and easy to talk to, so these people have neglected her. He will definitely punish them properly later.
“Gu Xi…”
He called her softly, over and over again, just like before.
But no one answered him.
Suddenly, he heard hurried footsteps behind him. He turned around abruptly, and when their eyes met, the light in both of their eyes dimmed instantly.
Hua Yue pursed her lips and looked at him, her eyes red and swollen. After a long while, she finally said, "Today is the seventh day after the Empress's death." She thought it was because the Empress had returned.
She had been cleaning the room carefully every day for the past few days, thinking that if the Empress returned, she would definitely praise her.
Hua Yue stood at the door for a while, then lowered her head and turned to leave.
In fact, she had known for a long time that Sister Cailian had left. She had seen the Empress staring blankly at a handkerchief several times, and that's when she found out.
That handkerchief was a gift from the Empress to Sister Cailian; she has always treasured it and would never casually throw it away.
They didn't want her to know, so she pretended not to know.
But now that the Empress is gone, and Sister Zhuyin is gone too, she is all alone in Weiyang Palace.
Xiao Heng stood stiffly in place for a long time.
It's not a dream.
Suddenly a cold wind blew in, and he quickly went forward to close the door. Then he lit all the charcoal braziers in the room, and the room gradually warmed up.
She is extremely sensitive to the cold, and her hands and feet are always icy cold. If the room is too cold, she probably won't come in.
He will wait for her to come back here tonight.
It was past midnight.
Daylight broke.
She didn't come back.
She must have gone back to her home first.
She'll be back tonight, no... tomorrow night, before tomorrow night.
She walks slowly, so he waits for her.
Two days have passed.
She didn't come back.
She must be lost; no one is holding her hand, and she can't find her way back.
It's okay, he'll wait for her.
She will come back.
Another seven days have passed.
She still hasn't come back.
On the tenth day, Xiao Heng returned to the Qianqing Palace.
He seemed to have suddenly figured something out, or made a decision, and began to resume his normal life, attending court and handling state affairs every day from dawn to dusk, more diligently than ever before.
He would wait for her at Weiyang Palace every night.
The cold winter has passed, and spring has quietly arrived.
As the snow gradually melted, tender buds began to sprout from the bare branches, and the Imperial Garden was full of vitality.
Xiao Heng had just finished court and sat down at his desk, picking up his pen to begin processing today's memorials.
Today, the Kingdom of Liuli presented a batch of jade hairpins as tribute. He found them exquisite and thought she would surely like them. Without looking up, he instructed, "Zhao Fuquan, pick a few of those items and send them to Weiyang Palace..." Suddenly remembering something, he paused, "Tell her that I will come over as soon as I'm done with my work, and ask her to wait for me to have a meal together."
Zhao Fuquan said nothing, only bowed his head and replied, "Yes."
The emperor still often forgot that the empress was dead.
Around noon, Xiao Heng finally finished his work.
He put down his pen and strode towards Weiyang Palace, a faint smile on his lips, while Zhao Fuquan and the other palace servants who accompanied him looked worried.
Upon arriving at the Weiyang Palace's sleeping quarters, he skillfully pushed open the door and immediately asked, "Gu Xi, do you like the hairpins and rings I gave you today?"
No one answered him.
He frowned and called out again, "Gu Xi?"
The only response he received was the cold silence of the room.
He was stunned for a moment, and stood there for a long time.
Oh, right, she's gone.
He immediately changed his words, saying, "Then I'll keep it for you first." His tone carried a hint of helplessness and indulgence.
He searched the house for half a day, but he didn't know where to put these things, and he was afraid of damaging her things.
Just when they were at their wits' end, Hua Yue and Zhao Fuquan came in together.
Zhao Fuquan began preparing Xiao Heng's lunch.
Before Hua Yue could even bow, Xiao Heng asked, "How does she usually handle these things?"
She glanced at the hairpins and ornaments on the table, walked to the cabinet next to the dressing table, took out a brocade box from it, and placed it on the dressing table: "These were bestowed by the Emperor, and Your Highness has received them all here."
She had just opened the brocade box to put the things away when Xiao Heng stopped her with a flick of his sleeve, saying, "You may leave now. I will do it myself."
He carefully placed the hairpins and rings into the brocade box one by one. Having never done this before, his movements were a little clumsy, his strength was sometimes light and sometimes heavy, and he didn't know which end to hold. Occasionally, he would frown and think about how to place them more properly.
This small matter seemed far more difficult than dealing with the myriad issues in the imperial court and balancing the various forces at play.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally managed to pack everything away, a thin layer of sweat beading on his forehead.
He picked up the brocade box and stood in front of the cabinet, intending to put it back in its place, but his gaze fell on the lonely wooden box deep inside the cabinet.
He took out the wooden box, sat down at the table, and opened it with bated breath.
Inside were two musical scores and a jade hairpin, all gifts from him, and on top of them was an exquisite purse.
In the prime of youth, she is as beautiful as peach and plum blossoms; with her hair tied up and adorned with flowers, she is a perfect match for a gentleman.
He stared intently at the two lines of words embroidered on the purse, when a sudden pain shot through his throat and spread throughout his body, accompanied by a metallic taste of blood.
He put the purse back, clutched the wooden box, curled up on the bed, and let the pain crush him.
An hour later, he recovered and resumed his normal meals and affairs of state.
He thus repeatedly tormented himself to feel her presence, fantasizing that she had never left.
*
That day, Xiao Heng finished his court session and was reviewing memorials in the Qianqing Palace.
Holding a wolf-hair brush, he lowered his head and asked, "How's the investigation into the Imperial Hospital going?"
Who exactly tampered with her medical records?
Just as Zhao Fuquan was about to report, someone suddenly burst in—it was Consort Shu.
He was shocked; he hadn't expected her to actually dare to come.
"Your Majesty, I pay my respects."
Xiao Heng ignored him, seemingly lost in thought, and his hands stopped moving at some point, unaware of the newcomer.
Consort Shu walked to Xiao Heng's side without a word, picked up the ink stick on the imperial desk, and slowly ground it in the inkstone.
The scent of ink immediately filled the air. Xiao Heng looked up in a daze, and when his gaze fell on Consort Shu, his eyes turned cold, and his voice was like ice, "Who let you in!"
Consort Shu said softly, "Your Majesty, I know I am not as good as her, but now that she is gone, why not let me take her place and stay by your side..."
Since that woman died, the servants in the palace have treated her even colder, as if they wanted to avenge her. Her days in Guanju Palace have become more and more difficult.
She had no idea that this would win people's hearts! But no matter what, she was already dead.
Today, she deliberately wore a plain-colored palace dress, and even her makeup, demeanor, and tone of voice were intentionally imitated, making her even more like her than before.
She refused to believe she couldn't have him!
The oppressive atmosphere around Xiao Heng dropped, and his already displeased expression became even more gloomy.
He suddenly stood up, raised his hand and grabbed her neck, his knuckles digging in as if he wanted to crush Consort Shu's slender neck. His voice was icy: "Want to be her substitute?" He lifted his hand forcefully, forcing Consort Shu's feet off the ground, her face turning red from suffocation.
Xiao Heng's eyes were filled with disgust, filled with nothing but hostility and no emotion. He squeezed out his voice through clenched teeth, "You dare to say that?!" After saying that, he threw the man violently to the ground.
Suddenly regaining her breath, Consort Shu coughed violently on the ground, her body and neck aching terribly. Suddenly, she forced out a shrill laugh, her eyes filled with a twisted, terrifying resentment that was chilling to behold.
Since you've been so heartless to me, don't blame me for being ruthless in return.
"Your Majesty, do you know why she died?"
Xiao Heng, who had already sat down and was about to pick up his pen, paused, looking at her coldly.
"It seems you really don't know..." She raised an eyebrow, laughing wildly, "It's because of you! She was poisoned while saving you! That's why her old ailment relapsed!"
She only knew from Qin Wanyu that she had been poisoned while saving him; nothing else mattered, as long as it caused him pain.
"She took an arrow for you during your inspection tour, and a month after returning to the palace, she was poisoned!"
"The poison came from Medicine King Valley, and she dared not let you know... She was supposed to die that time, but unexpectedly she came back to life!"
"Hahahaha..." Her laughter grew louder and louder, shrill and mad, "It's all because of you! You killed her!"
She said sarcastically, "Who are you trying to impress now with this act of deep affection?" Her eyes were full of disdain.
Zhao Fuquan was shocked by the truth Consort Shu revealed, and his heart leaped into his throat. He didn't know what else she might say to provoke the Emperor if she stayed any longer, so he quickly gave a signal, and several palace servants promptly escorted her out.
The incident at the Imperial Hospital was orchestrated by Consort Shu, who instructed Zhao Youdao to carry it out. Once he reports it to the Emperor, neither of them will escape a good end. However, no matter how these people are punished, the dead cannot be brought back to life.
The person had been taken away for a while, but Xiao Heng remained rooted to the spot. After a moment, he sat down and continued to review the memorials.
His hand suddenly trembled, and the wolf-hair brush he was holding slipped from his grasp and rolled to the ground along the imperial desk.
Before Zhao Fuquan could react, he had already bent down and picked up the pen, gently brushing off the dust with his fingertips and carefully examining it.
Fortunately, it wasn't broken.
He was so careless just now.
This pen was a gift from her to him.
Judging by the dates, it must have been a few days before she took the poison.
She drank the contraceptive soup because she was poisoned; she wanted to leave the palace because she wanted to return to Medicine King Valley for help; she was trembling all over that night because the poison had taken effect.
What was he doing back then? He was distancing himself from her, ignoring her, and mocking her.
Gu Xi, what were your feelings when you were with me back then?
He remembered the tears she shed in his dream.
Are you very scared?
His gaze suddenly fell on a line of small characters on the pen.
I wish to be with you forever, through thick and thin.
The characters were so small that they were almost invisible unless you looked closely.
That's how she is; she carefully hides her love, wanting him to know, yet too shy to express it aloud.
Only when she was pushed to the limit a few times did she urgently tell him that she loved him.
But he never believed her.
I wish to be with you forever, through thick and thin.
The small print suddenly felt like a knife stabbing into his heart, and a mouthful of blood flowed down his chin.
Zhao Fuquan was startled and quickly handed over the handkerchief. When he looked up, he was stunned.
Suddenly, many white hairs appeared on the emperor's head.
That night, Xiao Heng returned to Weiyang Palace.
He was sitting on the bed, with a bowl of medicine beside him, a calming soup prescribed by the Imperial Hospital.
Since she left, he has been sleepless every night, but he longs to see her again, and he hopes to dream of her.
"Gu Xi, why won't you come into my dreams even once? Have you still not forgiven me?"
"I know I was wrong."
"Would you like to enter my dream tonight and meet me?"
He said this to the air.
A gust of wind suddenly blew in through the window, causing the pages of the books on the desk to rustle.
Xiao Heng's eyes lit up, and he suddenly stood up and took a few quick steps toward the desk, his voice trembling slightly, "Gu Xi, is that you?"
She loves reading the most; she's always lying on the couch with a book in her hand. It must be her returning.
"You're finally back. You missed me, didn't you?"
"I have fulfilled all my promises to you. I have been diligent in my duties every day and have also issued many decrees... Have you seen them?"
"And your girl, she doesn't want to come before the Emperor. I have already instructed Zhao Fuquan to take good care of her, so you don't need to worry about her."
"I just miss you so much."
He poured out his longing, but there was no response from inside the room, only the flickering candlelight and the sound of pages being blown by the wind.
"Are you doing well down there? Is anyone bullying you?"
"Wait a little longer. I will come to find you soon after I have finished explaining everything."
He was afraid that the people below would bully her, so he had to stay with her and protect her.
She'll be scared if she's alone.
She was the most timid of all.
"I know you've been wronged. I'll personally apologize to you after I leave. You can hit me or scold me, as long as you don't leave me."
The wind suddenly stopped, the pages of the book ceased turning, and the room fell silent.
"Gu Xi, will you come to see me again tomorrow?"
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Author's note: Did you guys feel bad for him? [doge emoji] If you like bad endings, stop reading after this chapter!
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