Chapter 69 No Longer Loving Him, Her Heart Finally Died.
The Weiyang Palace was bustling today. Not long after Xiao Heng left, an uninvited guest arrived—Consort Shu.
"I wonder what brings Consort Shu to see me?" It seems the rumors in the palace are true; Consort Shu has regained favor and is no longer confined to Guanju Palace.
Consort Shu took Gu Xi's hand and said in a seemingly affectionate manner, "My men were unruly and injured you just now. I came here specifically to apologize to you."
Gu Xi lowered her head and pursed her lips, unsure how to react.
She went to apologize, and she should have said politely, "Sister, don't take it to heart," but she felt very upset and her throat was sore that she couldn't say a word.
Consort Shu didn't mind. Looking at the face before her that bore a resemblance to her own, she couldn't help but feel sympathy. "Don't you think, sister...?"
"What do you think?" Gu Xi looked up, her expression puzzled.
"It's nothing..." Consort Shu chuckled softly.
She stared intently at Gu Xi, whose face was simply too beautiful. Originally, she had only wanted to see what this woman, who was the most beautiful in the six palaces, looked like. However, when she thought of how much the Emperor had once loved her and even allowed her to live in the Qianqing Palace, something she herself had never experienced, the sympathy in her heart was gradually replaced by jealousy. This favor should have originally belonged to her.
Consort Shu smiled again, her voice filled with concern, "Sister, I see my hands are very cold. Did those servants embezzle the charcoal from Weiyang Palace?"
"No, Consort Shu, it's just that I'm feeling cold," Gu Xi quickly explained.
Consort Shu looked as if she had just realized something. "No wonder, it turns out my sister is just like me. Yesterday, the Emperor even had someone add a basin of white charcoal for me, saying that I am sensitive to the cold..." She seemed to suddenly remember something. "My sister doesn't know yet, but the Emperor has been staying at my place recently. I will definitely talk to the Emperor about it later, so that he won't neglect my sister."
Upon hearing this, Gu Xi's face turned pale; the meaning of Consort Shu was all too clear.
Ah Heng, are you going to let them all hurt me?
Even if you don't love me anymore, you don't have to treat me like this.
She forcefully pulled her hand back, trying to maintain her composure: "I understand, thank you for coming to inform me, elder sister," she said stiffly. "Zhuyin, see the guest out."
After seeing Consort Shu off, Gu Xi sat alone against the headboard, looking dazed.
Suddenly, as if struck by a sudden thought, her eyes lit up, and she abruptly stood up.
He misunderstood her and that's why he treated her that way. He did love her, otherwise why would he have protected her just now?
She wanted to go to him and tell him over and over that she loved him, so that they could go back to how they were before.
She really missed her Ah Heng, the Ah Heng who doted on her every day.
With that thought in mind, Gu Xi put on her cloak and hurried toward the Qianqing Palace, forgetting even to call out to Zhu Yin.
As she walked, the snow fell heavier and heavier, but her steps quickened, carrying a mixture of hope and desperate gamble.
As soon as Gu Xi arrived at the Qianqing Palace, she barged in, and even the eunuch couldn't stop her.
Upon entering the front hall, one sees Xiao Heng reviewing memorials on his throne, and Consort Shu standing beside him, who also appears to have just arrived, still wearing her fur coat.
Hearing the noise, Xiao Heng looked up and stared at her intently. Consort Shu asked in surprise, "Why are you here, little sister? Did I leave something with you just now?"
Gu Xi stopped in her tracks. She couldn't speak, nor did she have the courage to take another step forward.
"You went to see her?" Xiao Heng asked in a deep voice, his eyes still fixed on Gu Xi, but his words were directed at Consort Shu.
"I just wanted to see what this beautiful woman looks like. I've always heard people say she's stunningly beautiful, and seeing her today, I can confirm it's true," she said with a hint of amusement. "No wonder His Majesty likes her so much."
Xiao Heng scoffed, "Don't you know why I like you?"
Consort Shu gave him a coquettish look, her face full of shyness.
Gu Xi looked at the two people teasing her, her face turning pale. She gripped the hem of her clothes tightly, took two steps back, and instinctively wanted to run away.
Just as she was about to turn around, Xiao Heng suddenly called out to her: "Since you're here, come and grind ink for me."
Upon hearing this, Consort Shu's expression changed drastically, and she complained in dissatisfaction, "Your Majesty!"
Xiao Heng continued reviewing the memorials with his head down, and said casually, "You summoned these people yourself, so you may leave."
Consort Shu snorted and walked around the imperial table toward the palace gate. As she passed by Gu Xi, she suddenly heard Xiao Heng say, "Keep an eye on your subordinates. I dote on you, but that doesn't mean they can climb over your master."
The word "favor" made Consort Shu raise an eyebrow, her displeasure vanishing instantly. She glanced at Gu Xi triumphantly before leaving.
Gu Xi remained standing there, not saying a word the entire time. Her heart was aching, and she didn't want to stay there any longer.
It turns out that he saved her only because imperial power cannot be violated; it was just her own wishful thinking.
She shouldn't have come; she wanted to leave.
Gu Xi turned around stiffly, about to leave, when her deep voice came from behind her: "Come here."
She dug her fingertips deep into her palms, desperately suppressing the urge to run away, and walked to his side.
She didn't look at him, but picked up the inkstone directly. With a slight turn of her wrist, a faint sound came from the inkstone. The scent of ink and the faint fragrance of ebony and sandalwood lingered around her nose.
She recalled when she first entered the palace, grinding ink for him in the Bihe Garden. At that time, she was a little afraid of him. Later, she repeatedly warned herself not to love him, but she never expected that she would fall so deeply in love with him now.
She remembered the night he broke in injured, the white jade dumplings they ate together, and the birthday gift he gave her.
Why did things turn out this way between them?
As she thought about it, tears streamed down her face.
Xiao Heng had just finished reading the last memorial in his hand when he looked up and saw Gu Xi with tears in her eyes. He paused and put his pen down.
He stared at her for a moment, his eyes darkening. "What are you thinking about?"
"I miss you," Gu Xi replied softly, her gaze drifting into the distance.
Xiao Heng smiled sarcastically, "I am right in front of you."
He suddenly stood up, sweeping the things on the table to the ground with one hand, making a "crash" sound, and grabbed her wrist with the other, pressing her down onto the imperial table. He then leaned down and covered her lips with his.
The soft, warm kisses were irresistible to him; he greedily absorbed, invaded, and stole her flavor.
Her moist and dreamy gaze intensified the desire in his eyes.
He wants her right now!
Suddenly, a series of light footsteps sounded. "Your Majesty..."
Xiao Heng released her lips, looked up and roared, "Get out!" His eyes were bloodshot.
The man scrambled out of the front hall.
"Aheng, not here..." Gu Xi said in a trembling voice, with a pleading tone.
The soft, sticky voice made his blood boil. Xiao Heng shouted towards the door, "Zhao Fuquan!"
In an instant, everyone in the hall retreated, and all the doors were tightly closed.
He looked down at her, his eyes filled with undisguised aggression and possessiveness. "I wanted to do you here last time!" he said, then captured her lips again, penetrating deeper and deeper.
He was humiliating her, she knew it, yet she shamefully reacted.
He sat on the dragon throne, his hands gripping her waist, and growled in a hoarse voice, "Tell me! Who is the person you love!"
"It's you!" Gu Xi looked down at him, her eyes misty and her voice incoherent.
Xiao Heng looked at her with a sarcastic expression, "Do you think I'll release him like this?"
After saying that, he suddenly pressed down on her back of the head and forced her to kiss him. The two kissed more deeply, and her lips became red and swollen from the kiss, her eyes becoming glazed.
"You love him in your heart, but your body clearly loves me more." His gaze seemed to be scolding her for being shameless.
That look pierced her heart, and a tear involuntarily slid down Gu Xi's cheek.
Ah Heng, how can I love you so that you will know that I love you?
What did she do wrong to make her love so painful and powerless?
The dull pain in her chest suddenly intensified, her vision went black, and she fainted.
Xiao Heng leaned against her shoulder and sighed, thinking Gu Xi had fainted from exhaustion. He muttered under his breath, "Still so useless."
He gathered her clothes and carried her into the bedchamber. He held her tightly on the bed, kissed the sweat from her forehead, and whispered in her ear, "Gu Xi, do you hate me?"
If you cannot love me, then hate me.
Hate me the way I hate my mother, and I will live on in your heart forever.
When Gu Xi woke up, it was already dark.
The two got up together, but Xiao Heng tidied his clothes and walked out of the bedchamber before her.
Gu Xi hurriedly chased after him, and only when she reached the front hall did she tightly grasp his hem, lower her head and whisper, "Aheng, my days are numbered, let's be together, okay?"
She could clearly feel that her heart condition was flaring up more often recently, and she might not even live for another year.
Originally, she didn't want him to worry and didn't want to tell him, but now she changed her mind; she wanted to be selfish for once. She couldn't stand him treating her like this anymore; she wanted him back by her side.
Xiao Heng suddenly turned around and was greeted by Consort Shu, who had just stepped into the front hall. His eyes flashed slightly, and he sneered, "Do you think that by saying this, I will pity you?"
Gu Xi suddenly looked up, staring blankly at him, and slowly lowered her hand.
He stood right in front of her, and although he was the same familiar man, she felt as if he were a stranger, as if she had never known him before.
For a moment, she seemed to hear the sound of her heart breaking.
Her heart finally died.
She suddenly gave a sad laugh, laughing at her own foolishness, her own folly, her own overestimation of her abilities, and her own delusional fantasies.
After a short while, she stopped smiling, clenched her fists, lowered her head, and walked out of the hall.
She dared not look up, afraid of seeing the mocking gaze of the newcomer, which would shatter her already fragile self-esteem.
She didn't cry at that moment; there wasn't a single tear in her eyes.
"Don't come to the Qing Palace unless it's absolutely necessary." Xiao Heng's deep voice came from behind.
Gu Xi's back stiffened, and she silently uttered a "good".
Upon exiting the main hall, she discovered that Zhuyin and Huayue were waiting for her at the entrance of the Qianqing Palace, looking at her with worried expressions. Their woolen hats were covered in snow, and she wondered how long they had been waiting.
Her nose tingled, and her eyes reddened. She quickly walked towards them, took their hands, and left the Qianqing Palace.
Zhu Yin and Hua Yue didn't say anything, they just held Gu Xi's hands tightly and accompanied her all the way back.
When they reached a secluded spot, Gu Xi suddenly stopped, hugged Zhu Yin tightly, and cried out, "Zhu Yin, I don't want to love him anymore."
Snowflakes drifted down along the palace path, and in the darkness, people could see three women embracing each other from afar.
A woman's sobs were low, yet so sorrowful and filled with reluctance.
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Author's note: This chapter was so hard to write [crying]. I was so upset that I couldn't continue after writing half of it, so I took a break and started writing again.
I went through the outline last night and this morning. There are a lot of plot holes to fill, and I changed some characters' personalities, which has caused me to experience writer's block recently [laughing and crying emoji].
I've been thinking for the past couple of days about when to start portraying the male protagonist's inner thoughts in a "wife-chasing-after-the-cremation" story.
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