In front of a small courtyard.
Xu Xinghe took out his key and opened the wooden door that he used to know so well.
This is a detached courtyard house left over from her family's early years, and it's also where her parents met.
So it's been kept there, with someone just coming to clean it regularly.
Although it has been idle for many years, it still exudes the elegance of the past.
“I used to come here occasionally to read on the second-floor balcony. In the summer, I could smell the gardenias in the neighboring yard.” Xu Xinghe led Jiang Linchuan inside, holding his hand. “I also really wanted to take you back to the old house, but it’s been handed over to someone else to manage now, so we can’t go there for the time being.”
"Yes, I know." Jiang Linchuan's gaze fell on her flushed face, and his Adam's apple bobbed slightly. "With you here, anywhere is fine."
There are two adjacent bedrooms on the second floor.
They each had their own room, separated by a short corridor, so they could see each other as soon as they opened their doors.
After quickly tidying up, Xu Xinghe took her change of clothes and went into the bathroom in the middle of the corridor.
The sound of rushing water reached Jiang Linchuan's ears through the wall.
It was like a feather, constantly touching the tip of his heart, making him feel itchy.
He sat on the bed in the bedroom, and Xu Xinghe's image kept appearing in his mind.
The slender neck that was revealed when she tied her hair up, the arched eyebrows when she spoke...
Wake up!
Just because you're in a new environment where only they exist doesn't mean you should start thinking about these useless things!
Jiang Linchuan raised his hand and pressed his burning ear tips. They weren't married yet, so he absolutely couldn't do anything inappropriate to her.
This restraint was like a taut string, making it impossible for Jiang Linchuan to calm down.
After an unknown amount of time, the sound of flowing water stopped.
Xu Xinghe came out wearing loose cotton pajamas, her hair still dripping wet, and her cheeks flushed red from the heat.
She walked to the room next door and gently knocked on the door. "Are you asleep? I've come over to say goodnight."
Jiang Linchuan suddenly stood up, rushed to the door, put his hand on the doorknob, and then immediately withdrew it.
He stared at the wood grain, trying to keep his head steady. "Not yet. Goodnight, get some rest."
He was afraid that if he opened that door, he wouldn't be able to resist kissing her.
They haven't been intimate in a long time... and now, in such a private setting, a slight mishap could easily lead to something going wrong.
"Oh, okay." Xu Xinghe didn't pay any attention, assuming that he was just tired from traveling for days, and turned to go back to his room.
Jiang Linchuan did not sleep well that night.
When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Xu Xinghe's image, and in the middle of the night I had a ridiculous dream.
In his dream, she nestled in his arms, her eyes crinkling with a smile, softly calling his name. Those intimate touches made his heart flutter.
He woke up with a start; the sky outside the window was already turning a pale white, his forehead was covered in sweat, and his heart was pounding for a long time.
He sat up, rushed into the bathroom, and cold water poured down his head.
Why?
He had such a dream simply because he was in a different environment!
Or perhaps it's because... he's always been thinking about these things, but he's been unconsciously suppressing them while in the military.
Now that I'm out, has that invisible oppression disappeared?
He dared not think any further and stood under the cold water with his eyes closed. Only after he had completely calmed down did he leave the room.
Xu Xinghe had already woken up and went outside to buy the scallion pancakes and sweet porridge that she used to eat often.
Seeing Jiang Linchuan come out of the room, she immediately smiled and waved, "Come and eat, the scallion pancakes are the most delicious when they're fresh out of the pan."
Jiang Linchuan sat down at the dining table, but his gaze remained lowered, and he dared not look directly at her.
Last night's dream was so vivid that my ears are burning as I look at the chopsticks she's offering me.
"What's wrong?" Xu Xinghe noticed something was wrong, put down her chopsticks and looked at him. "You don't look well. Didn't you sleep well?"
"No." Jiang Linchuan picked up the bowl and took a sip of the piping hot porridge. "I just suddenly remembered something. My family is in Suyang right now, here on business. They'll be leaving in a while."
He paused, then softened his voice, "Xinghe, do you... want to see them?"
Xu Xinghe paused, her hand holding the chopsticks, when she suddenly thought of something.
Having known Jiang Linchuan for so long, from when he lived with the Xu family when he was young to now when they have reunited, he has rarely mentioned his family. It seems that he is deliberately avoiding topics about family affection.
Now that they're so close, and he's brought it up himself, she might as well take this opportunity to ask.
"Lin Chuan, you rarely mention your family. Is it because... you have a rift with your family, or is your relationship not very good?"
Jiang Linchuan stopped scooping porridge and remained silent for a full half minute before speaking, "It's not that we have a rift, nor is it that our relationship is bad."
He raised his eyes. "I've always been cold-hearted since I was little. When others are kind to me, especially my family, I always feel burdened. It's like... wearing an ill-fitting piece of clothing. I feel guilty if I take it off, but I feel uncomfortable wearing it. I don't understand why. They haven't done anything wrong, and I haven't done anything wrong either. I guess that's just my personality. So I don't dare to see them, afraid that I won't do enough and will disappoint them completely."
Xu Xinghe's heart clenched slightly.
This is a strange situation. Could it be related to his childhood experiences?
Because she remembered someone saying that unconscious behaviors are actually a form of trauma.
He simply forgot, which is why he doesn't understand why he feels this way.
"Are your family members good to you?"
Jiang Linchuan nodded, "Very good. Almost everyone in my family is a soldier. My grandfather, father, and several uncles all served in the military their whole lives. They are very busy and can't be with me often, but whenever they are home, they always give me the best. Clothes, books, and food I want to eat, they have never neglected me. My mother is a researcher, and even if we haven't seen each other for a long time, she will write to me and ask someone to bring me things."
After saying all this, he felt even more strongly that the problem lay with him.
Not just with family, he seems to be naturally bad at getting close to people.
Having spent so many years in Heilongjiang Province, I only had superiors and subordinates around me, no real friends.
Sometimes he feels envious when he sees others laughing and chatting in groups of three or five, but he can't bring himself to do it.
Xu Xinghe knew he wouldn't lie, so his family must be doing well.
She put down her chopsticks, then suddenly grinned. "Since they've been so good to you, of course I'll meet them. And you also want them to meet me, right? Since you know how good they've been to you, you must have feelings for them."
“Family is something no one else can ever replace.” Xu Xinghe looked into his eyes and said, word by word, “How do you know that seeing each other again after so many years won’t feel different? Perhaps what seemed heavy before will now feel like a comforting warmth? And…”
She smiled gently, "I also want to see what kind of family members have raised such upright people in Linchuan."
Jiang Linchuan was stunned. Looking at the light in Xu Xinghe's eyes, the silence and negativity from before seemed to have been dispelled by the sunlight, leaving only warmth.
His Adam's apple bobbed, and his previously tense lips slowly relaxed. "Okay, after we finish what we're doing, we'll go to Su Yang."
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