Chapter 283 Ten Years of Despair, Reappearing in One Day
"Almost zero."
Shen Qingyun's four words left Su Wantang stunned.
She sat in the chair, clutching the hem of her clothes, her knuckles turning white.
Shen Qingyun was still talking, her lips moving, but Su Wantang couldn't hear a single word. All she could hear was a buzzing sound, the examination room in front of her began to spin, and she felt herself falling, falling into a dark abyss.
"Nearly zero".
She was all too familiar with those four words.
In her past life, she was lying in a hospital bed when a doctor walked in with a CT scan, his expression cold to the point of being cruel.
"Ms. Su, the cancer cells have already spread, and chemotherapy is almost ineffective."
At that time, she was still asking, "How much longer can I live?"
The doctor said, "Three months."
She lived for ten years.
For ten years, she was fighting against death every single day. Chemotherapy, radiotherapy, targeted drugs, painkillers—she treated herself as a guinea pig, just to live one more day.
She thought she had traveled through time, that she had received a ticket to rebirth, and that she could live a good life in this lifetime.
And what was the result?
My health is still poor.
Thin endometrium, poor ovarian function, cold constitution, and hormonal imbalance.
These medical terms, when put together, boil down to four words: unable to have children.
Su Wantang closed her eyes, tears welling up in them. She bit her lower lip hard, trying not to cry.
Lu Jingyan stood beside her, holding her hand the whole time.
He felt her hands getting colder and colder, as cold as ice.
Shen Qingyun continued, "Mrs. Lu, your condition isn't entirely hopeless. We can try a combination of traditional Chinese and Western medicine to regulate your body first. Hormones can also be supplemented through medication..."
That's enough.
Lu Jingyan interrupted her.
The voice wasn't loud, but Shen Qingyun immediately shut up.
She looked up at Lu Jingyan, met his cold gaze, and subconsciously took half a step back.
Lu Jingyan didn't look at her again. He turned around, took off his military overcoat, wrapped Su Wantang from head to toe, and then bent down to pick her up in his arms.
Su Wantang didn't struggle; she was limp and buried her face in his chest.
Lu Jingyan carried her outside.
At the entrance of the clinic, several nurses were talking. When they saw them come out, they were all stunned.
Lu Jingyan carried Su Wantang and strode out.
In the corridor, patients and their families stepped aside to make way for them, their eyes following their movements.
Lu Jingyan ignored everyone, carried Su Wantang downstairs, left the outpatient building, and headed straight for the parking lot.
He opened the passenger door, put Su Wantang in, and fastened her seatbelt.
Su Wantang lowered her head and didn't say a word.
Lu Jingyan walked around to the driver's seat, got in the car, and started the engine.
The car drove out of the hospital and headed towards the military compound.
Lu Jingyan remained silent throughout the journey, as did Su Wantang.
The car was driving very fast, and the scenery on both sides of the road was rushing past.
Su Wantang huddled in the passenger seat, staring blankly out the window, her gaze unfocused.
Her mind was in complete chaos.
Shen Qingyun's words echoed in his ears again and again.
"Thin endometrium, poor ovarian function, cold constitution..."
"The chances of conceiving naturally are almost zero."
Almost zero.
She remembered what Lu Jingyan had said to her while holding her last night.
"Once I recover, let's have a child."
The longing in his eyes was so real that she nodded in agreement.
But what about now?
She can't have children.
Su Wantang closed her eyes, and tears finally streamed down her face.
She reached out to wipe away her tears, but the more she wiped, the more tears she shed.
The car was parked at the entrance of the military compound.
Lu Jingyan turned off the engine and turned to look at Su Wantang.
She remained in the same position, curled up in her seat, her shoulders trembling slightly.
Lu Jingyan reached out and took her hand.
"Wantang".
Su Wantang did not respond.
Lu Jingyan gripped her hand tightly.
"Get off the bus, let's go home."
Su Wantang shook her head.
"I don't want to go back."
Her voice was terribly hoarse.
Lu Jingyan remained silent for a few seconds.
"Where to?"
Su Wantang looked up at him.
Her eyes were red and swollen, and her face was covered in tear stains.
"I'm fine with going anywhere, I don't want to see anyone."
Lu Jingyan nodded.
"good."
He restarted the car, turned around, and drove towards the suburbs.
After driving for more than half an hour, the car stopped in an open space.
This place is sparsely populated, with only a few bare trees.
Lu Jingyan got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, and carried Su Wantang out.
He carried her to a tree, sat down, and let her lean against him.
Su Wantang leaned against his chest without saying a word.
A gust of wind blew by, and she shivered.
Lu Jingyan wrapped his military overcoat tightly around her and pulled her into his arms.
Are you cold?
Su Wantang shook her head.
She is not cold.
She's just cold inside.
The two sat there, neither of them saying a word.
As darkness fell, the sun dipped below the horizon, and the clouds on the horizon turned orange-red.
Su Wantang finally spoke.
"Jingyan".
"Um."
Am I really useless?
Lu Jingyan looked down at her.
"Don't talk nonsense."
Su Wantang gave a bitter smile.
"Am I useless if I can't even have a child?"
Lu Jingyan remained silent.
Su Wantang continued, "You've saved so many people, you're so amazing, you deserve better."
"Wantang".
Lu Jingyan interrupted her.
"I don't want to hear this."
Su Wantang looked up at him.
Lu Jingyan stared into her eyes.
"You are the best."
Su Wantang looked away.
"You're lying."
Lu Jingyan grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.
"I'm not lying to you."
His voice was deep.
"From the moment I woke up in the Peace Hotel and saw you for the first time, I knew that you were the one for me for the rest of my life."
Su Wantang's tears welled up again.
"But I..."
"No buts."
Lu Jingyan released her chin and hugged her tightly.
"We'll talk about the children later."
Su Wantang buried herself in his arms, tears streaming down her face.
She cried for a long time, until she couldn't cry anymore.
It was completely dark.
Lu Jingyan picked her up and walked towards the car.
It was already past eight o'clock in the evening when I got back to the compound.
Lu Jingyan carried Su Wantang into the courtyard, where Meng Wan was waiting in the living room.
She saw the two return and immediately went to greet them.
"Wantang, you..."
She was stunned when she saw Su Wantang's red and swollen eyes.
Lu Jingyan shook his head at her.
Meng Wan immediately understood.
She walked over and patted Su Wantang's hand.
"Go back to your room and rest. I'll save dinner for you."
Su Wantang nodded.
Lu Jingyan carried her into the bedroom and placed her on the bed.
"I'll get you a glass of water."
He turned and walked out.
Su Wantang sat on the edge of the bed, watching his back.
The room was very quiet.
She stood up, walked to the dressing table, and looked at herself in the mirror.
His face was deathly pale, and his eyes were swollen like walnuts.
She stared at the person in the mirror and suddenly felt like a stranger.
Is this really her?
Is this body really hers?
Why did you betray her again?
Su Wantang turned around and walked to the bedside, picked up the jade bracelet under the pillow, and with a thought, entered the Begonia Space.
The space was completely silent.
She went to the library and began to browse through medical books.
"Prescriptions Worth a Thousand Pieces of Gold", "Compendium of Materia Medica", "Golden Mirror of Medicine"...
One after another.
She searched for records about "cold uterus" and treatments for "cold constitution".
The more I look, the colder my heart becomes.
It's written very clearly in ancient books—
"Cold congeals blood stasis, the uterus is weak and cold, making it difficult to conceive."
"Those with a constitution prone to coldness will need several years to see results even with proper treatment."
"If one is born with deficiencies and fails to receive proper care, one may be unable to conceive for life."
Su Wantang closed the book and leaned against the bookshelf.
She closed her eyes, and tears streamed down her face again.
She thought that by traveling through time, she could escape the nightmares of her past life.
It turned out the nightmare was just in a different form.
In her past life, her cancer had spread, and she was doomed.
In this life, her body is weak and cold, so she cannot give birth.
Fate really does play tricks.
Su Wantang sat in the space for a long time until she heard Lu Jingyan's voice.
"Wantang?"
She opened her eyes and exited the space.
Lu Jingyan stood by the bed, holding a glass of water in his hand.
How are you?
Su Wantang took the water glass and took a sip.
"Daydreaming."
Lu Jingyan sat down next to her.
"Want some dinner?"
Su Wantang shook her head.
I'm not hungry.
Lu Jingyan did not insist.
"Then let's rest."
Su Wantang put down her water glass and lay down on the bed.
Lu Jingyan covered her with the blanket and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"I'll stay with you."
Su Wantang closed her eyes.
But she couldn't sleep.
My mind was a jumbled mess, filled with Shen Qingyun's words and records from ancient books.
She turned over, her back to Lu Jingyan.
Lu Jingyan reached out and put his arm around her waist.
Can't sleep?
Su Wantang did not answer.
Lu Jingyan turned her over so that she faced him.
"Wantang, what are you thinking about?"
Su Wantang looked at him.
I watched it for a long time.
She suddenly spoke, her voice very soft, as if she were talking to herself.
"Lu Jingyan, if I... can never have children, will you... regret it?"
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