Chapter 123 Another World, The Only You
After asking the question, Su Wantang herself felt it was absurd.
But she still asked.
Like a gambler, betting his last and most crucial secret.
She stared intently at Lu Jingyan, not missing a single subtle expression on his face.
She had anticipated his shock, doubt, and even anger.
However, there was nothing there.
Lu Jingyan's face remained expressionless, his dark eyes, bloodshot from lack of sleep, simply gazed intently, seeing into the deepest recesses of her soul.
He didn't answer, but silently stood up, pulled over the heavy solid wood chair next to him, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
They sat very close, so close that Su Wantang could clearly see the bluish stubble on his chin.
"you say."
Lu Jingyan spoke with unprecedented solemnity.
"I'm listening."
There were no questions, no doubts, only four words.
Yet it touches people's hearts more deeply than any vow of eternal love.
Su Wantang didn't mention anything about transmigrating into a book or being a cannon fodder female supporting character.
Those inconceivable things were too absurd for this unyielding soldier.
She began to tell a story that was half true and half false with an almost numb calmness.
"In another world, or rather, in my dream, there is a girl who looks exactly like me..."
Her gaze was unfocused, drifting towards the faint light filtering through the gap in the curtains.
"She lived in a time of peace, but she had a battlefield, in a small white hospital room. Her enemy was cancer."
"She fought that war for a full ten years."
Lu Jingyan's hand gripping the armrest tightened inch by inch, turning a frightening bluish-white.
Su Wantang didn't look at him and continued talking to herself.
"Ten years, more than three thousand six hundred days and nights. There were only four things in her world."
"Cold instruments, the pungent smell of disinfectant, and...day after day, endless pain and loneliness."
“She underwent countless rounds of chemotherapy, each time vomiting until she couldn’t even vomit bile anymore. She had many bone marrow aspirations, where a thick, long needle would pierce her bone marrow from behind. She could clearly hear the sound of the bone being pierced; it was very sore and painful.”
"Her hair had all fallen out, her eyebrows had fallen out, and she looked like a monster. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she would sometimes wonder, 'Who is this?'"
"She was covered in tubes, like a puppet, clinging to life with IV fluids. In the end, she didn't even have the strength to get out of bed. She could only lie there, staring at the ceiling, from dawn to dusk, and then back to dawn."
"Her favorite thing to do was to look out the window of her hospital room at the people outside. She would watch them run, jump, laugh, and argue... She felt that it was wonderful to be able to breathe freely and stand in the sun."
"It's good to be alive."
She spoke those last four words very softly, yet they struck Lu Jingyan's heart like a heavy hammer.
He finally understood.
I understand why she has such an obsessive desire to "live".
I understand why she acts so ruthlessly and decisively, never letting go of any opportunity.
Because everything she possessed was something another woman had envied for a lifetime, through a glass window, enduring ten years of hellish suffering.
"In the end, she died."
Su Wantang's tone was calm and without any ripples.
"On a very cold night, the electrocardiogram turned into a straight line. The doctor removed all the tubes from her body and covered her with a white sheet."
"And then... I became 'Su Wantang'."
"I don't know if it was a dream, or if there really was another me who, before she died, gave me all her desire to 'live'."
“I inherited her memories, and I also inherited her fears. I’m afraid of pain, afraid of hospitals, afraid of the smell of disinfectant. I’m afraid of dying.”
"So, Lu Jingyan..."
She finally turned her head and met his gaze. In those clear, peach-blossom eyes, there was an unprecedented frankness and vulnerability.
"The 'Su Wantang' you know now—her calmness, her scheming, her ruthlessness—is all because she wants to live, to live better, and to live more safely."
"This is my whole secret."
The story is over.
The room fell into a deathly silence.
Su Wantang's heart sank little by little.
She was even prepared for any reaction from him: doubt, fear, or... being treated like a madwoman.
Lu Jingyan said nothing.
He stood up, walked to the window, and pulled back the heavy curtains.
The brilliant morning light rushed in instantly, illuminating the entire room.
His back was to her, his tall and upright figure like a silent sculpture, outlined in gold by the sunlight.
One second.
Two seconds.
It felt like a century.
Su Wantang's heart was in her throat.
Just when she thought she was about to be sentenced to death, Lu Jingyan turned around.
His eyes were red-rimmed, and in those deep black eyes, there was a turbulent sea of emotions she couldn't understand—heartache, anger, lingering fear, and... a tenderness that could drown a person.
He walked step by step back to her.
Then, he raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek with his calloused, rough fingertips.
His voice was hoarse beyond recognition, yet incredibly clear, each word piercing her heart.
"I see."
He paused, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down, as if he was trying his best to suppress something.
"You suffered in the past."
Su Wantang's nose tingled, and tears almost fell again.
He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes, brimming with endless emotions, fixed intently on her.
"Su Wantang, listen carefully."
“I don’t care where you come from, or who you were in the past. All I know is that you are my woman now, my wife, Lu Jingyan.”
"Your nightmare ends here."
"From now on, I will bring it to an end."
The moment he finished speaking, Lu Jingyan bent down.
A tender kiss landed gently on her forehead.
Warm lips, trembling slightly.
That wasn't lust, it was pity, it was heartache.
Then, his kiss followed her brow and landed on her red and swollen eyelids.
It was as if it were kissing her painful past, kissing her silent tears.
Finally, his lips covered hers.
The kiss was not aggressive at all; it was just a gentle, caressing touch.
Lu Jingyan was showing her through his actions:
Your past, your pain, your secrets, everything about you... I accept it all.
The string that had been taut for two lifetimes in Su Wantang's mind snapped completely at this moment.
She couldn't hold back any longer and reached out her arms to hug him tightly.
She buried her face deep in his firm, warm chest, greedily inhaling his reassuring scent and feeling his strong, powerful heartbeat.
Thump, thump, thump...
It's like the most soothing lullaby.
Two lifetimes of loneliness, two lifetimes of fear, two lifetimes of struggle—at this moment, they have finally found a safe harbor.
Outside the door.
Qin Zheng, accompanied by Wang Ma, whose face looked weathered, had just reached the door.
The door was ajar, with a crack in it.
Just as Wang Ma was about to knock on the door, Qin Zheng, with his sharp eyes, raised his hand to stop her.
Through the crack in the door, they could clearly see the two people embracing inside the room.
In the sunlight, the man's tall figure completely enveloped the petite woman under his wings.
It was an embrace brimming with protection and commitment.
Wang Ma covered her mouth, and tears of emotion welled up instantly in her cloudy old eyes.
She looked at the young woman in the man's arms, who had finally let down her guard and was seeking refuge like a child, and tears streamed down her face.
That's great, that's great...
With the spirit of the deceased in heaven, I can finally rest in peace.
Qin Zheng silently watched his young lady's retreating figure, then looked at the petite figure in his arms.
On that usually tense face, a look of utter relief and... a hint of a fatherly smile appeared.
very nice.
He silently led Wang Ma out quietly and gently closed the door behind them.
Inside the room.
After an unknown amount of time, Su Wantang's emotions finally calmed down.
She lifted her head from Lu Jingyan's embrace; although her eyes were still red and swollen, her gaze had regained its clarity and sharpness.
That's just how she is; she can allow herself to have brief breakdowns, but she will never indulge in her emotions.
"Lu Jingyan".
She looked up at him, her voice still a little hoarse, but already carrying the decisiveness that belonged to "Bai Shu".
"Before I completely become 'Bai Zhu', 'Su Wantang' still has one last debt to settle."
Lu Jingyan gently stroked her swollen eyes with his fingertips, his voice full of doting affection: "Go ahead and say it."
“That bitch Su Yuting has hidden a large sum of money in the Su family’s old house. I was so focused on draining Su Zhenhong and Liu Liyun’s finances that I forgot about her.”
A cold glint flashed in Su Wantang's eyes.
"There's something in there that we absolutely must get our hands on."
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