Chapter 115 Quiet Despair
Concubine Shen also followed Old Madam Shen out.
After going out, she immediately stepped forward and carefully supported Mrs. Shen.
"An An, you've been running around for so many days, go back and rest early."
Madam Shen called back Shen Anan's gaze towards the courtyard and said softly.
"I'm going to my grandmother's Anshou Hall tonight. Mom, please go back with Dad first and find a doctor to check his injuries."
"It's already this late, what are you doing going to Anshou Hall?" Mrs. Shen frowned slightly.
"An An, mother knows that you don't like your aunt, but after all, she is your grandmother's daughter and your father's sister. Don't be fussy about her when she is about to die."
“Don’t worry, mother,” she patted Madam Shen’s wrist comfortingly, “I’m just going to accompany my grandmother, I won’t do anything to my aunt.”
After saying that, he left the front hall without waiting for Madam Shen to speak again.
Shen Changhe did not leave, but walked out with Madam Shen and Shen Wen until they were outside the Longxiang Pavilion.
"He'er, why don't you go back and rest? What's the matter?"
Shen Changhe raised his hand and waved away the servants around him, pursing his thin lips slightly, "There is one thing, I want to withdraw from the marriage with the Lin family."
Madam Shen’s expression darkened instantly, and she nodded slightly after a long while.
She liked that girl from the bottom of her heart, but she also knew that this marriage would never last.
"Okay." She looked up at her expressionless son, feeling distressed. "He'er, don't be sad. When our Shen family is out of trouble, mother will tell you another one."
Shen Changhe forced a difficult smile, but did not answer this question. He continued, "Our Shen family is in danger. If the Lin family takes the initiative to cancel the engagement, it will inevitably be criticized. This engagement should be canceled by mother, and we should try our best to... protect her reputation."
He bowed and saluted, "I'm sorry for wronging you, mother."
Mrs. Shen's tears flowed out in an instant, and she held the handkerchief to her lips and cried quietly.
Considering Miss Lin so much, He'er must be very fond of that girl. Now that he has made this decision, he must be feeling very uncomfortable.
"He'er."
There was no change on Shen Changhe's face from beginning to end, and the corners of his lips were tightly pursed.
Shen Wen patted his shoulder and sighed, "That's what a man should do!"
…
Shen Anan followed to Anshou Hall. The old lady frowned as soon as she saw her, "Why are you following me instead of going back to your Begonia Garden?"
She pretended not to notice the old lady's displeasure and said, "I want to sleep with my grandmother tonight."
"Grandma wants to have a private chat with your aunt. We haven't seen each other for more than ten years."
Shen Anan glared at her and said, "No, I'll sleep outside and I won't say anything."
"..." Old Madam Shen sighed heavily, her face filled with smiles, but she lowered her head slightly.
Concubine Shen was unusually quiet and filial today. She helped Old Madam Shen undress, remove her hairpins, shoes and socks, and helped her lie down on the bed.
She did not get on the couch, but sat down beside Old Madam Shen, holding her old lady's hand and pressing her whole face against it, acting like a spoiled child.
Touched by the loving look her grandmother gave Concubine Shen, Shen Anan looked away and told Aunt Yang to move the soft couch outside into the inner room.
She sat there, not saying a word, just staring at the two of them, or to be more precise, staring at Concubine Shen's every move.
Concubine Shen kept her head down, listening to what Old Madam Shen was muttering, and only nodded in agreement from time to time.
After all, she is her biological daughter, Shen Anan thought, no matter how angry her grandmother was, she would not be able to give her up when it came to a matter of life and death.
She should fulfill her old lady's love for her son. As long as tonight passed and Concubine Shen returned to prison, everything would be over.
As she was thinking, Madam Shen suddenly started coughing. It was a low cough at first, but later she bent her body, her face flushed, and she had difficulty breathing.
“Aunt Yang, grandma’s medicine, Mo Xiang, go get the doctor.”
"No, no need." Madam Shen raised her hand to refuse, her wrinkled face showing relaxation, and she extended her hand to Shen Anan.
"An An, come here, grandma wants to talk to you."
She walked over quickly, tightly grasped the hand that Old Lady Shen extended to her, and pressed it into the quilt. "If you have anything to say, wait until you finish drinking the medicine and the doctor comes. It's not too late to say it. We have plenty of opportunities."
The uneasiness in her heart reached its peak at this moment, and she was so panicked that she spoke incoherently.
"Grandma, you promised to go back to Jiangnan with me, to watch me get married and have children, and the Shen family..."
"An An." Madam Shen's coughing finally stopped slowly. "Don't bother with it anymore. While grandma can still talk, talk to her for a while, okay?"
Shen Anan's tears fell instantly, and she turned around and shouted at the maid to urge the doctor.
Old Madam Shen sighed and coughed violently once more, leaving a large patch of bright red on the pillow.
Shen Anan was shocked and at a loss, "Grandma, why, why did you do this, don't you want me anymore?"
Concubine Shen stood aside and didn't dare to breathe. How could she not understand what was happening?
"Don't waste your energy. I've sent the doctor away from home. Aunt Yang only obeys me. You just... just stay and talk to grandma."
She raised her hand and stroked Shen Anan's little face, and her rough, calloused fingertips gently wiped away her tears.
"How could grandma not care about you? In the Shen family, grandma loves An An the most, but grandma is also a mother. Your aunt is in this situation today because of grandma's poor teaching."
"What she said that day was right. If grandma hadn't left, but had stayed in the capital to help her and give her advice, she might not have walked into despair step by step and ended up in the situation she is in today. In the end, grandma owed her."
Concubine Shen knelt on the ground with a plop, sobbing. Old Madam Shen did not look at her, but stared at Shen Anan's eyebrows with a kind gaze.
"Don't blame me. I'm not going to survive anyway. She's still young. It's a good deal for her to survive. An An, please don't make grandma angry."
Shen Anan choked and shook her head, unable to utter a word, holding Madam Shen's hand tightly and shaking uncontrollably.
"Miss, the doctor has something to do at home and is not at home." Mo Xiang entered the house to report.
"Then go out and look for him quickly," she yelled.
"Yes." Mo Xiang immediately turned around and did it.
"Grandma, how can you go back on your word?" She lay on the bed, looking at the glaring red, breathing was very difficult.
"How could you do this? I have been working hard all along. My biggest wish is to go back to Jiangnan with you, to be with you and travel around like we did when we were kids."
That was the belief that supported her. No matter how difficult it was, she never gave up. But why, why did it turn out like this? What was the point of her efforts?
She lost the person she loved most. The suffering in this life is even more intense than the previous one, so why give her this chance?
She was filled with deep powerlessness and doubt, and she even had thoughts of committing suicide.
It seems like a dream, but more like a joke.
"An An, when you become a mother, you will understand your grandmother. No matter how hard you try, you are still just flesh and blood after all."
She tilted her head slightly to look at Concubine Shen who was kneeling on the side, and whispered, "Don't forget what I told you, save your life this time, don't make trouble again, you must learn to be patient, remember?"
"Yes, my daughter remembers it, my daughter remembers it." Concubine Shen cried and kowtowed repeatedly.
Madam Shen retracted her gaze, and her cough became more severe. Shen Anan hurriedly helped her up, and the blood stained her entire sleeve.
"My An'an, you are the one that grandma is most reluctant to part with. You must not forget what grandma said. If you are desperate, the Fourth Prince Xiao Yuan is a good choice for you. When people are in desperate situations, saving their lives is the most important thing."
"When you are at a disadvantage, you must learn to be patient, and then you can make great progress. I didn't want you to watch helplessly, but you are not easy to fool."
Shen Anan took the pillow and placed it behind Old Madam Shen. She no longer cried or called for the doctor at the top of her lungs. She just accompanied the old lady silently and listened to her talk.
"My death today was caused by my grandmother using the favors she had in the past. Remember, even if everyone in the capital avoids us, my grandmother's funeral must be held in a grand manner. Only in this way,... only in this way will the emperor feel sorry for her and give my Shen family some breathing space."
The more deserted the house is and the less people come to pay their respects, the more the emperor will remember their old friendship and not be on guard against the Shen family.
"Okay, I've got it all down." Shen Anan half-leaned on the bed, sitting with the old lady.
"And your aunt, send her to a quiet place. No matter what happens in the capital, never let her come back."
"Yeah, okay." Shen Anan nodded again.
"An An, don't be angry with your grandmother. She left all her belongings to you."
"Yeah." Shen Anan bent down, his back twitched violently, and he suppressed his sobs.
"Grandma has been nagging about this for so many years. Now the knot in her heart has finally been untied. You can sleep well and rest assured."
She held Madam Shen's hand tightly, not letting it drop, and almost forced out her voice.
"You often said that children are debts that get heavier and heavier. Now you have finally paid it off. The heavy stone that has been weighing on your heart for more than ten years has finally been removed. You can return to Jiangnan with An An without any worries."
Her voice was extremely small, and she spoke in an extremely calm and desperate voice.
"Miss." Mo Xiang hurried into the room carrying the doctor, and was stunned when he saw the scene on the couch.
The doctor immediately walked over and took Madam Shen's pulse, then let go after a moment, shook his head and walked out.
"girl."
"Go down and inform my parents and my eldest brother."
She never let go of Madam Shen's hand. All the candles in Anshou Hall were lit, and the servants were busy running back and forth, their footsteps chaotic.
Concubine Shen was still crying, and Shen Anan was upset.
"Go out and cry."
Concubine Shen choked, raised her head and saw Shen Anan's cold and sinister face, lowered her head without saying a word, and got up to go out.
At the hour of Yin, the sound of firecrackers announcing a death rang out at the gate of the Shen residence. The smell of sulfur filled the entire street. The high-hanging white banners and the thick snow echoed each other, and the atmosphere was depressing and heavy.
The crying in Anshou Hall continued. Shen Anan stood in the yard, with her head raised expressionlessly, staring at the branch that had been bent by the snow, was about to break, and was shaky.
There was still no sign of the snow stopping; that branch wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer.
She stretched out her hand, and the cold snowflakes fell on it, turning into water stains in an instant. They were so light that they couldn't be lighter, but as they were pressed down one by one, they felt very heavy.
Time and time again, Shen Anan felt that her back was about to break and she was crushed.
"An An." Shen Changhe's hoarse voice sounded behind him.
Shen Anan withdrew her hand, wiped the water stains from her palm carelessly, and repeated what Mrs. Shen had said before she left.
"Let her go tonight,"
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