Chapter 40: Burdening You with Thousands of Tears (2) Get rid of the nightmare.
Two days later, Lu Guanque took his resignation letter and went to the imperial study despite his sick body.
The emperor looked at the kneeling Lu Guanque and was so angry that he almost laughed out loud. He pointed at the resignation letter with his fingertips and said coldly: "Lu Guanque, say it again, you want to resign?"
"Do you know what the court has been talking about you these days?"
"You've repeatedly disregarded the laws of the court and deserted your post for the sake of a woman, and now you're abandoning even your important responsibility?!"
Lu Guanque coughed violently for a while, his pale face flushed unnaturally from the high fever. He raised his head and said calmly, "Your Majesty, I did not act on impulse."
"I have contracted an epidemic and am no longer able to handle official duties. Remaining in this position would be a mere sham. I beg Your Majesty to grant my request."
"Epidemic?" The emperor sneered, his sharp eyes sweeping across his face. "I think you've gone insane!"
"What does the Imperial Medical Bureau do? Can't it cure your illness? Do you need to drag your sick body to find someone yourself? Lu Guanque, ask yourself, is your current state because of the court, or because of your personal feelings?"
The imperial study fell into dead silence, and the eunuchs standing outside the door dared not breathe.
Lu Guanque remained silent, then kowtowed again, his voice hoarse but clear: "I have made up my mind. I beg Your Majesty to grant my wish."
"you!"
The emperor stood up suddenly, his chest heaving violently, obviously furious. His cousin had never been so stubborn since childhood, but now, for a woman, he was so absurd?
The discussions in the court about Lu Guanque being "unfit for important tasks", "indulging in personal affairs" and "failing to honor the emperor's grace" seemed to ring in his ears again.
The emperor looked at his stubborn figure, and a surge of anger filled his heart.
He took a deep breath, suppressed his anger, and said sharply: "Okay, very good."
"Lu Guanque, since you want to ruin your future, I won't stop you. I approve your resignation. I'll keep your title. But all your positions in the court are terminated immediately! When you regain your composure, come back and see me!"
The emperor suddenly thought of something, paused, and whispered, "By the way, Meng is of humble origin, yet she is so arrogant and unrepentant. It would be better to find you a new wife who is virtuous and well-mannered. What do you think?"
This was a humiliating warning and a warning.
But for Lu Guanque, he didn't hear the rest of the words at all, or rather, he heard them but didn't care at all.
Only when he heard the word "approved" did his body relax a little and kowtow again: "Thank... Thank you, Your Majesty, for your permission."
Lu Guanque stood up with difficulty, swaying slightly due to the high fever and weakness, but he immediately steadied himself, did not look at the emperor again, turned around and left the imperial study.
Seeing that he did not express his opinion and left like this, the emperor was so angry that he swept all the paperweights on the imperial desk to the ground. The sound of the paperweights breaking scared the eunuchs so much that they fell to their knees.
"Bastard!" The emperor cursed in a low voice, but a trace of worry flashed in his eyes. His cousin was really going to be tortured to death.
Outside the Duke's Mansion, a carriage was ready, its interior thickly padded. Uncle De, his eyes red, waited with a group of carefully selected guards.
He saw Lu Guanque coming back and hurried to greet him: "Duke..."
"Let's go." Lu Guanque gave the order directly without any extra words.
He boarded the carriage with the help of his guards. His body was burning hot and his breathing was rapid. As soon as he sat down, he closed his eyes.
"Your medicine." Uncle De handed him the medicine bowl.
Lu Guanque opened his eyes, lifted the car curtain, took the medicine bowl, and without even looking at the dark brown medicine juice, he raised his head and drank it all.
Immediately, he picked up the water bag again and took a few gulps to suppress the nausea that was surging in his heart.
"Go to Yizhou as quickly as possible," he ordered in a hoarse voice, frantic yet calm. "Investigate all clues along the way one by one. No mistakes are allowed."
"Yes!" The guards outside the car responded in unison, their voices solemn and murderous.
The carriage galloped towards Yizhou, and the wheels rolled over the road, making a rapid rolling sound.
Lu Guanque leaned against the wall of the car, sweat oozing from his forehead, his chest heaving violently. He felt a wave of hot and cold, his consciousness oscillating between lucidity and haziness, but his only thought was—
He wants to find her.
He would find her even if it cost him his life.
If he is alive, I want to see him in person; if he is dead, I want to see his body.
He would never allow her to disappear into his own world.
#
Ten days later, the wind was cold and the autumn was deep.
The sound of rain pounded against the stables at the post station. Wu Ming reined in his horse and looked at Meng Xuanli beside him with a complicated expression: "Brother Li, after this farewell, I don't know when we will meet again."
"Are you really going to Yanjing?"
Meng Xuanli nodded and said lightly, "Yes, Yanjing is prosperous and there are more opportunities. What about you, Brother Wu? Have you really decided to return to Qiantang?"
"Yes." Wu Ming looked towards the south, his eyes filled with worry and anticipation. "I have to go back and take a look. I also hope to hear news about my friend."
He withdrew his gaze and solemnly clasped his fists towards Meng Xuanli: "Brother Li, take care on your journey! If we are destined to meet again someday."
"Take care, Brother Wu, see you later." Meng Xuanli also clasped his fists in return.
The two men parted at the entrance of the post station, one heading north and the other south, the sound of horse hooves dissipating in the vast autumn colors.
Meng Xuanli took a deep breath and continued riding his horse towards Yanjing.
Although traveling alone is lonely, it also gives you unprecedented freedom and joy.
Half a month later, Yanjing.
The north wind was biting cold, and Meng Xuanli arrived at this important northern city, exhausted. She acted cautiously and found a secluded inn to stay.
She originally wanted to continue wearing men's clothes, but when she thought of the horses, dry food, and men's clothes lost in Dongdu, she felt that she might be exposed.
Therefore, after she settled down, the first thing she did was to change back into women's clothes, wash off all traces of disguise, and restore her original appearance, but with a bit more tenacity and vigilance between her brows.
Meng Xuanli spent many days comparing various options, trying to find a suitable house to settle down, but she didn't expect that the house-hunting process would be smoother than she had imagined.
But two days later, the agent came back excitedly, saying that he had found an excellent house with a quiet location and a square layout. The most important thing was that the rent was much lower than that of similar houses.
When Meng Xuanli went to see it, he was indeed very satisfied. The courtyard was clean and tidy, and there were even some plum blossoms planted there, exuding elegance.
"Madam Li, you are lucky. The owner of this house moved his family south and is eager to sell it, so the price is much lower." The broker said with a smile.
Meng Xuanli nodded, a trace of doubt flashed through her mind, thinking that it was too smooth, but then she thought, Lu Guanque was far away in the Eastern Capital, and he might be furious because of her escape, or he might be trapped in the palace dealing with the epidemic, and it is impossible for him to have the spare energy to reach out to this distant Yanjing.
What's more, even if he looked for her, he would go to Jinling first and then to Yizhou. He would never think of coming to Yanjing.
I must be overthinking it.
Meng Xuanli smiled, paid the deposit happily and moved in.
However, she had a nightmare the night she moved in.
In the dream, it was still the Duke's Mansion.
She desperately tried to escape, but she couldn't escape the endless corridor. Behind her, Lu Guanque's scarlet eyes stared at her, getting closer and closer. No matter how she begged and cried, he remained indifferent and finally strangled her neck...
"ah!"
Meng Xuanli suddenly woke up from the nightmare, sweat dripping from his face, his heart beating wildly, and he felt as if his throat was really being strangled...
The moonlight entered the house, and it was dead silent.
She sat on the bed, bent her legs, hugged her knees, and took a long time to calm down.
It was the same dream again. Even if she escaped, his shadow would still hang over her and would not let her go.
Meng Xuanli sighed, threw back the covers, stood up, and washed her face with cold water. The biting coldness completely sobered her up.
She can't go on like this.
She had to do something to keep herself busy, to forget him and start a new life.
Meng Xuanli had some knowledge of medicine, though not a master, but she could still treat common colds. She had read many medical classics when she was at his house, and later… later, because of his illness, she studied even more in order to avoid becoming a widow.
Thinking of this, Meng Xuanli laughed at himself, feeling that he was really naive at the time, actually believing that Lu Guanque was sick, and so...
Forget it, forget it, I won’t think about the past anymore.
She had to find a job in the clinic.
First, I can make a living, second, I can continue to study medicine, and third, by keeping busy, maybe I can get rid of those nightmares.
As soon as the sky was getting light, Meng Xuanli made up her mind, dressed up carefully, put on a plain and neat cotton dress, pushed the door and walked out.
Meng Xuanli followed the address he had inquired about and found a medical clinic called Guangdetang, which was not very luxurious but very clean.
The sign with gold letters on a black background looks a little old, but it gives people a sense of security.
The clinic was full of women, including young girls who were grinding herbs carefully, and older women who were dispensing medicine according to prescriptions. Although busy, everything was in good order.
Meng Xuanli stood at the door. A young girl who was wiping the counter looked up and smiled at her in a friendly manner. "Madam, are you here for a consultation or to get some medicine?"
Meng Xuanli calmed himself down, stepped forward, and said softly, "I heard that the museum needs help. Excuse me, is the lady in charge here?"
The girl took a look at her and saw that she was dressed simply and behaved appropriately. She nodded and said, "The master is seeing patients in the back hall. Madam, please wait a moment. I'll go and tell them."
Soon, the little girl led Meng Xuanli through the front hall and into a quiet back room. The room was thick with the aroma of medicine, the bookshelves were piled high with medical books, and pulse charts and prescriptions were spread out on the desk.
A woman in her thirties sat behind the desk. She was wearing a blue-gray dress and no makeup. Her eyes were gentle and sharp.
This is the owner of Guangde Hall, Mr. Chen Yuemian.
"Sir, this lady is looking for a job." The girl said and walked out.
Meng Xuanli stepped forward and knelt slightly according to etiquette: "Li Xuan meets Mr. Chen." She used a pseudonym.
Chen Yumian put down the pen in his hand and looked at Meng Xuanli calmly, examining her carefully. After a moment, he said, "Madam Li, there's no need to be so polite. Please take a seat. I heard that you were looking for a job. Do you know anything about medicine?"
Meng Xuanli sat down as he was told, neither humble nor arrogant: "I know a thing or two."
"My family originally... originally had an elder who practiced medicine. I was exposed to it since I was young, and I know some medicinal herbs and have read a few medical books. Later, my family fell into poverty, and I ended up here, looking for a way to make a living. I don't want to be a doctor, just doing some odd jobs in the clinic, dispensing medicine, and that would be enough."
She spoke earnestly, half-truthfully, and half-sincerity to conceal her origins.
Chen Yumian listened quietly, without directly expressing her opinion. Instead, she casually took out a few herbs from the small medicine cabinet and placed them on the table in front of Meng Xuanli. "In that case, my lady, do you recognize these herbs?"
"If you recognize it, could you tell me about its properties, flavor, and effects?"
Meng Xuanli looked closely and saw Astragalus, Angelica, Poria, and a single herb, Inula flower. She felt relieved; these were all commonly used herbs, and she naturally recognized them.
Meng Xuanli stretched out his fingertips, picked up a piece of Astragalus, looked at its color carefully, and then took a closer sniff before calmly saying, "This is Astragalus. The slices are slightly yellow in color, have a soft and tough texture, and have a slightly sweet smell. It is warm in nature, sweet in taste, and enters the spleen and lung meridians. It is good at replenishing qi, strengthening the exterior, draining pus, healing sores, and promoting tissue regeneration. It is the best of all the herbs for replenishing qi."[1]
Then, she picked up the other herbs one by one and explained them one by one in a clear and organized manner without any mistakes or omissions.
A subtle glint of admiration flashed across Chen Yumian's eyes. To be able to accurately describe the usage and contraindications of these herbs was no ordinary person with a basic understanding of pharmacology.
She asked a few more questions, such as, "What remedies are commonly used for treating a cold at the onset of a cold?" and "What medicine should be used for abdominal pain in women with blood deficiency?"
Meng Xuanli answered carefully. The prescriptions he cited were not unusual, but standard, and the combination of medicinal properties also made sense.
After asking this question, Chen Yuemian was silent for a moment, and gently tapped the pulse case with his fingertips, as if he was considering it.
As it concerns the safety of the patient's family, although there are many women in Guangde Hall, one still needs to be cautious when hiring them.
After a long pause, she raised her eyes and gently examined Meng Xuanli. "Madam Li is indeed knowledgeable about medicine, but...my job of preparing and grinding herbs here is not easy, and the pay isn't that high. It also requires extreme care and patience. A single mistake in preparing a herb could mean a life or death."
"Have you thought it through?"
Meng Xuanli felt relieved and said solemnly, "Li Xuan understands. She will definitely fulfill her duties diligently and carefully."
Seeing her sincere attitude, clear eyes, and knowledge of the medicinal properties, Chen Yuemian nodded slightly and said, "Well, you can stay and try it out. The monthly salary is two taels of silver, and lunch is provided."
"Start by identifying the herbs, learning how to use the small scale, and then follow Granny Liu and the others to learn how to dispense the herbs. Can you do it?"
Meng Xuanli smiled and bowed, "I can do what I can. Thank you for taking me in. I will study hard and will never let you down."
"Yeah." Chen Yumian replied calmly and pointed outside. "Go find Granny Liu. She will make arrangements for you. Remember, here, the patient's safety comes first."
"I'll keep your teachings in mind." Meng Xuanli suppressed his excitement, bowed again, and left.
She took a deep breath, feeling a long-lost sense of security.
Perhaps this is the life she wants.
#
Meanwhile, Lu Guanque leaned against the dilapidated wall of the post station, coughing violently. His face was like the cold ashes under the stove, lifeless and devoid of any human energy.
A dusty guard knelt on one knee and reported in a low voice, "I've been tracking them all the way, and the leader of the caravan told me they did kidnap two people, one tall, one short, both handsome. They were originally going to be transported to Yizhou, but halfway through the journey, they somehow broke free from the ropes and stole horses before dawn..."
"They did chase after them, but the two men split up, one heading north and the other south, and ultimately they were unable to catch up..."
"North? South?" Lu Guanque murmured repeatedly, his voice like fallen leaves in autumn, fluttering in the wind.
He closed his eyes, suppressed the dizziness, and thought anxiously.
To the south is Jinling, Xie Mingtan's hometown and a place Meng Xuanli had once been interested in. To the north is a bitterly cold land, sparsely populated...
Suddenly, Lu Guanque opened his eyes and said coldly, "No... She must have gone north."
The guard was very puzzled.
Lu Guanque panted, analyzing intermittently, as if trying to convince himself: "She knew I would definitely go south, knew I would follow to Yizhou... She's so smart, she would definitely do the opposite. The south is too easy to predict, but the north... the north is unexpected, and even harder to find..."
Yes, that must be it.
She's always like this.
It surprised him time and time again.
Breaking free from his control again and again.
"Immediately send people to investigate the official roads and post stations heading north," Lu Guanque ordered urgently. "All... all young men and women heading north, especially those who are alone, must not be spared."
"Yes!" The guard took the order and hurried away.
In the following days, Lu Guanque almost relied on the effects of medicine and willpower to hold on.
He was placed in a carriage and headed north. The bumpy ride and cold weather made his condition worse and he fell into a coma.
But whenever there was new news, he would force himself to wake up.
Finally, shortly after entering the northern territory, vague clues began to come together.
"My Lord, a clerk at the post station said that about a month ago, a handsome young scholar rode by alone, bought some dry food, and asked for directions to Yanjing."
"Yanjing..." Lu Guanque suddenly opened his eyes and said in a low voice, "It's her. She used to dress as a man."
"Change the route and go to Yanjing."
After he finished speaking, Lu Guanque couldn't help coughing, and his cough was like a branch breaking apart and falling to the ground.
#
When the carriage drove into the gate of Yanjing, Lu Guanque was so weak that he didn't even have the strength to sit up straight.
He collapsed in the thick fox fur, his face pale, his breathing weak, and his whole body burning hot.
"Duke, now that we've arrived in Yanjing, you need to see a doctor first." Uncle De lifted the carriage curtain, his voice trembling. He was truly afraid that Lu Guanque wouldn't live to find Meng Xuanli.
Lu Guanque raised his eyes with difficulty and glanced at the street scene outside. He looked like he would die tomorrow, let alone find someone.
"Go... go find a clinic, quickly..." He squeezed out a few words with difficulty.
Uncle De quickly ordered the driver to find the nearest clinic, and at the same time asked someone to quickly find a quiet courtyard and then buy it to prepare for resettlement.
Lu Guanque closed his eyes, as if he could feel Meng Xuanli's presence. She... was living a life without him.
Before he completely lost consciousness, the carriage finally stopped in front of the clinic. Uncle De and the guards hurriedly lifted him off the carriage and rushed into the clinic.
"Doctor! Human life is at stake!" Uncle De's voice echoed throughout the front hall.
The clinic they chose happened to be only three streets away from Guangde Hall where Meng Xuanli worked.
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The author has something to say: [References]
[1] All references to medicine from Shennong’s Herbal Classic
Post it early and catch bugs later.
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