Chapter 42: Bearing Your Thousands of Tears (4) I won’t.
When he saw the person's face clearly, the corners of Meng Xuanli's lips twitched and his body was covered with a layer of frost.
Lu Guanque stepped into the courtyard step by step. The moment their eyes met, Meng Xuanli lowered his eyes indifferently and subconsciously let go of Liu Lian's arm.
Liu Lian was confused by this sudden change and had no idea what was going on. He only felt that Meng Xuanli was very afraid of that person.
He raised his eyes and asked the uninvited guest, whose face was as pale as a ghost, sternly: "Who are you?"
Lu Guanque's eyes were extremely cold. He first stared at Meng Xuanli's hand, then swept across her red and swollen face, and finally fell on her ankle.
Suddenly, he smiled slightly and said in a low voice, "Who am I?" His eyes were always on Meng Xuanli.
"I'm here to find my wife."
"Who do you say I am?"
Lu Guanque walked calmly and glanced at Liu Lian as if he wanted to strangle him to death.
"wife?"
“No… no…”
Although Liu Lian was afraid, seeing Meng Xuanli's pale face, he still mustered up the courage to stand in front of her and maintain the integrity of a scholar.
He said, "Sir, have you mistaken me for someone else? How could Lady Li be your wife? You can't just slander someone's innocence like that."
"Did I recognize the wrong person?" Lu Guanque glared at him and lowered his voice, "Uncle De!"
"Throw him out."
"Yes!" Uncle De responded and winked at the guard behind him.
"What are you doing? In broad daylight, is there no law?"
Lu Guanque snorted and smiled, "If you dare to get even an inch closer to her, I'll break your legs."
"If you don't believe me, you can try it." Lu Guanque half-closed his eyes and looked at Liu Lian.
Liu Lian panicked and tried to break free, but he was a weak scholar after all and had no power to resist. He was simply grabbed by the arms and dragged out.
While struggling, he turned around and shouted, "Don't be afraid, Madam Li! I'll report it to the police right away. He won't dare to do anything to you!"
Liu Lian's voice quickly disappeared outside the courtyard gate. Only two people were left in the courtyard, and there was deep silence.
He dragged his body back from the brink of death, ignored the doctor's warnings, and held on to his last breath to find this place.
As soon as I entered the door, I saw her holding the man's arm tightly, with a nervous expression, as if they were very close.
At that moment, he didn't care about the damage to his heart veins or the death from vomiting blood. His heart was filled with excruciating pain.
He originally thought that when he was dying, those thoughts about "honesty" and "being good to her" would make any difference.
It seems that all this was just his wishful thinking. She never cared about him at all, and she never loved him.
Lu Guanque frowned and closed his eyes.
He no longer expected her sincerity.
He only wants her.
As long as she was in front of him, within his reach, that was enough.
As for whether she hates him or blames him, it doesn't matter.
After a moment, Lu Guanque suppressed his anger and slowly approached, squatting in front of Meng Xuanli and examining her face. Her red and swollen lips, pale cheeks, and a few cute little spots.
Lu Guanque shook his head and suddenly realized that he had to change his approach and could no longer force or restrain her like before.
Otherwise, after she returned, she would still think about leaving, just like this shocking face, although it was fake, but it would make him heartbroken as soon as it appeared.
The two of them didn't look at each other. They were silent for a long time. Lu Guanque held her hand and said in a tender tone: "Have you thought about me these days, Ah Li?"
Meng Xuanli avoided his suffocating gaze and squeezed out a sentence: "Why do you ask when you already know the answer, Duke?"
Lu Guanque knew she would say this, and he also knew that she would make him angry, but he just wanted to confirm her existence from her emotions.
His eyes fell on her ankles, and his eyes darkened. Suddenly, he stretched out his arms and carefully but forcefully lifted her up from the chair.
Meng Xuanli was caught off guard and pushed him hard. Lu Guanque held himself up and said in a hoarse voice, "Your feet hurt so much, do you still want to move?"
A familiar breath wrapped around her back, his words echoed in her ears. Meng Xuanli bit her lip and stopped struggling.
Lu Guanque walked to another armchair in the yard and sat down, putting her on his lap and hugging her with his arms in a gesture of control.
Meng Xuanli's whole body was tense, his eyelashes trembled, and he was very resistant.
Lu Guanque rubbed his chin against her neck, and after a moment he said, "You came all the way to Yanjing just to leave me, and even made yourself so miserable. Ah Li, isn't it painful?"
Meng Xuanli didn't sound sick from his tone, but rather calmed down a lot: "As long as I can leave you, it hurts a little, so what?"
Lu Guanque understood the hidden meaning: "Being with me is so painful for you?"
"That's right." Meng Xuanli continued, "Every day I spent with you in the Duke's Mansion made me feel extremely sick."
"Really?" Lu Guanque leaned against her and sighed, "But I don't feel any pain, nor do I feel nauseous."
"Why is that?"
Meng Xuanli turned away, gritted his teeth, and said judgmentally, "Because you don't even know what love is."
"Well, I really don't know." Lu Guanque lifted her hair and kissed it, "Then tell me, what is love?"
Meng Xuanli was about to break free from him, but when he said that, she thought of what she had heard a few days ago and said calmly, "You are sick and a little confused."
In the past, Lu Guanque would not ask her such boring or even empty questions.
"I'm sick." Seeing her about to leave, Lu Guanque held her waist and said, "I need you to treat me so I can get better."
He spoke again, his voice low and slow: "Ali, I know you hate me. You hate me for lying to you and for trapping you."
"But if I don't say something, you'll hate me for the rest of your life."
Meng Xuanli's body stiffened for a moment.
"Meng Xiuyu..." Lu Guanque lowered his eyes and stroked her face with one hand. "I did meet her when she was alive, but those words were nothing more than a warning to her not to ridicule you anymore, nothing more."
Meng Xuanli suddenly raised her eyes, squinted them, and tried to find any signs that he was lying, but she searched for a long time and found nothing.
Lu Guanque met her scrutinizing gaze and continued, "And Su He."
Hearing this name, Meng Xuanli closed his eyes and breathed slightly faster.
"Su He is Su Zixu." Lu Guanque's voice was calm.
Meng Xuanli opened his eyes wide and shook his head: "How could Su He be Su Zixu? This is impossible..."
Lu Guanque smiled bitterly. He knew she would react like this.
"You saved me back then. After I recovered from my illness, I started looking for you in Xuzhou. The first time I went there, I was unfamiliar with the place and couldn't find you after searching for a long time. When I was about to return to Dongdu, someone told me that he knew you and that you two were friends."
"I believed what he said, and as soon as I arrived at his house, he tied me up. Then he set fire to it and tried to burn me to death."
Lu Guanque suppressed his fatigue and continued, "Fortunately, I reacted quickly and dragged him back, trapping him in the house."
"He was lucky enough to survive. Later, in order to get revenge on me, he first came after you and hurt you, and then deliberately provoked me."
Lu Guanque subsided and said word by word, "Before Su He died, I met him. Later, I let him go because I wanted to see if you still had feelings for him."
"Who knew that day in Shunhe Building, he would take the opportunity to provoke you, not only to hug you, but also to kill you... That's why I had no choice but to shoot that arrow."
kill?
No wonder she mistook Su Zixu for Su He when she first met him. And later, Su Zixu disappeared without a trace, like air. It turned out that he was Su He, and his purpose in approaching her was to threaten Lu Guanque...
So that's how it is.
Meng Xuanli thought for a moment and asked, "Then tell me, why did Su He want to kill you? He didn't even know you before."
Lu Guanque thought about his father's dying wish and changed his words: "The remnant of King Gaoyang once went to Xuzhou. He might be the child of the man who killed me."
No wonder.
No wonder Uncle Su always said that Su He lost his mother when he was young. So that's how it is...
Meng Xuanli was stunned for a moment, then smiled faintly: "Do you think I can forgive you just because you said this?"
"No." Lu Guanque sighed softly, "I said this just to untie the knot in your heart."
His tone was almost humble: "Have you untied the knot in your heart even a little bit?"
"Will you trust me again?"
Meng Xuanli's head was buzzing. Reason told her that there was no need for Lu Guanque to lie to her now, and these explanations were all reasonable.
Should she believe him?
Meng Xuanli looked at him and found that his eyes were like whirlpools. If he was not careful, he would fall in and never get out.
This feeling of being controlled instantly swept over his body, and Meng Xuanli suddenly woke up.
What if I untied the knot in my heart? What if I believed it?
He was always the same Lu Guanque, the one who was so high and mighty, so dominant, and who treated her as his own. The fact that he was explaining so carefully today was simply a way to get her to submit and obey.
Thinking of this, Meng Xuanli suddenly pushed him away and moved towards another chair with trembling body.
Her eyes were firm and cold as she sarcastically said, "Whether or not the knot in my heart is untied is my business. As for trusting you?"
"What should I do after I believe you? Go back with you? Go back to that cage? Continue to be your caged bird? Wait for you to turn against me again and imprison me once again?"
"Lu Guanque, don't forget that it was you who locked me in the room, it was you who imprisoned me, and it was you who sent people to monitor me."
"Why didn't you mention my pain? Huh?"
He looked up and saw Meng Xuanli's eyes were watery and angry. He paused and said gently, "I know that even if I say this, it can't erase the bad things I did to you."
"It's true that I'm imprisoning you, and it's also true that I'm monitoring you. I acknowledge all of this."
"But now, I regret it."
Seeing that she remained silent, Lu Guanque sighed, sat on a chair near her, and suddenly reached out to hold her sprained ankle.
"Ugh..." Meng Xuanli was caught off guard and almost cried out in pain.
She bit her lip and tried to pull her foot back, but his hand held it firmly.
Lu Guanque lifted her legs and placed them on his knees, untied her shoes and socks, and pressed her ankle joints with his slightly warm hands.
"Does it hurt?" He asked gently.
Meng Xuanli's vision went black due to the pain. His nails dug deep into the armrests of the chair, his knuckles turned white, and he couldn't help but move closer to him.
"Lu Guanque, do you think I will forgive you if you do this?"
She gritted her teeth, refusing to beg for mercy, and even more unwilling to show weakness in front of him: "Let me go!"
Seeing her stubbornness and forbearance, willing to die rather than surrender, Lu Guanque felt the evil fire in his chest burning even more fiercely, almost burning his sanity to ashes.
Lu Guanque's face suddenly turned cold, thinking that the most important thing now was to return to Dongdu. As for how to go back, he could follow her temperament or use some extraordinary means. In the end, what to do depended on her attitude.
He stared at her, then said gently, "Behave yourself, it will be fine in a while."
Meng Xuanli closed her eyes and rubbed her ankles back and forth in his palms, almost melting her anxious heart.
"ah!"
With a scream, Meng Xuanli almost fainted. Fortunately, he only sprained his ankle. If this happened every day, he would probably not be able to walk.
Lu Guanque released her ankle and asked, "Do you have any medicine for wounds at home?"
Meng Xuanli was in so much pain that tears fell from her eyes. She blinked and choked out, "It's on the bedside table, in the second small drawer."
Not long after, Lu Guanque returned with the ointment, sipped it, and applied it to her ankle. The chill penetrated her bones, and Meng Xuanli breathed a sigh of relief.
"Don't touch the wound on your face again." Lu Guanque looked at her, unable to avoid the impact of the pain.
Meng Xuanli had thought she would reject him, but as he served her, her mood softened slightly, and she continued to retort, "If you hadn't come, I wouldn't be like this. Besides, I do whatever I want. Who do you think you are? Can you control me?"
Lu Guanque narrowed his eyes, suddenly stood up, pressed her against the back of the recliner, and put his cheek close to hers. He said slowly: "I am your husband, how can I not control you? Hmm?"
"What? Still thinking about that guy?"
Meng Xuanli didn't trust him much in the first place, and seeing him looking at her like that, she would believe him even less.
"Who I think of has nothing to do with the Duke." Meng Xuanli had written a divorce letter before.
Lu Guanque looked down at her, pinching her chin. She opened her mouth slightly, and he wanted to kiss her lips.
Before he even touched her lips, Meng Xuanli opened his eyes wide and raised his hand to slap him: "Lu Guanque, you met me just to do this?"
The slap was loud, and Lu Guanque froze. He then pressed his forehead against hers and said in a hoarse voice, "Stay with me. It doesn't matter what you become, as long as you don't leave me."
"You can kill me too."
Meng Xuanli's eyes burned faintly, like the hot ashes falling from a firework. Lu Guanque stared at her, his eyes almost pleading.
She lowered her eyes and pursed her lips: "Killing you will cost me my life, it's not worth it."
"So what do you want to do?"
Meng Xuanli swallowed, looked up at him, and said coldly and firmly: "Leave me and disappear completely from my world."
“…almost.”
He left her sight, turned his back, and said calmly, "The doctor said that my body won't last more than seven years. If it goes fast, in two or three years, I might be gone. By then, you'll have gotten what you wished for."
Meng Xuanli was silent for a moment: "If you wish, I will. But please don't die in front of me."
Lu Guanque's breathing stagnated, and he slowly turned around, saying in disbelief, "Don't you feel sorry for me at all? Don't you care about me at all? Meng Xuanli, I'm nothing in your eyes, right?"
Meng Xuanli was burned by his gaze and turned her head away to look in another direction: "I used to feel sorry for you and care about you, but you didn't believe me, just like I don't believe you now."
"No matter how you explain it, you're just tying yourself up in knots."
As soon as he finished speaking, Meng Xuanli retracted his legs, stood up tremblingly, turned around, and decided to leave.
Lu Guanque stepped forward and hugged her from behind.
At noon, the sunlight shone through and fell on them, like two rivers converging together, forming layers of ripples.
Lu Guanque hugged her tightly and said in a hoarse voice, "I believe it. I believe you care about me."
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