Chapter Thirty-Six
At just 29 years old, Su Hsien became the youngest Best Actress in the history of the Golden Deer Awards, and her value soared. Bai Lin was once again extremely busy, with more and more scripts waiting for her initial screening piling up. However, even if she found a script she liked, she could only schedule it until next year. For Su Hsien, the most important thing in the second half of the year was "Qing Zhuo".
Faced with brands expressing their interest in becoming brand ambassadors, Bai Lin and Su Xuan carefully selected a few. Holmes also promoted her to a global ambassador, making her not only the first in China but also the first in Asia. With such a high-level luxury brand on their side, other brands are merely icing on the cake.
After a series of articles exploring Su Xian's career, reporters turned their attention to her private life. However, she has always been low-key, and apart from the incident involving her biological father, there is not much other dirt to dig up.
Some media outlets have unearthed photos of the mysterious boyfriend taken by netizens, but unfortunately, they haven't been able to uncover his identity. Some even speculate that Su Xian's words of thanks on the awards stage were addressed to this mysterious boyfriend.
When Su Xuan and Lin Zhiyuan saw this report, they had just arrived in Cannes from Paris. The recently concluded Autumn/Winter Fashion Week would be her last public event of the year. She would need to lose weight and get herself in shape before joining the cast of "Qing Zhuo". That's why Lin Zhiyuan said he wanted to stay in France for a few more days to relax.
Su Xian read her guess to Lin Zhiyuan and asked him, "Was my statement that obvious back then?"
What do you mean by "obvious"?
"You know, it's obviously meant for you." Su Xian turned her head and saw the playful smile on Lin Zhiyuan's lips, then suddenly realized, "You deliberately set a trap for me."
Lin Zhiyuan smiled deeply, "Hmm, but I feel it's not obvious enough. So I will continue to work hard so that your next award speech won't include 'we,' but only 'me.'"
Su Xian glanced at him sideways, and although she didn't answer, she couldn't hide the smile on her lips.
She and Lin Zhiyuan strolled around Cannes for half a day. After dinner, they walked hand in hand along the beach in front of the Palais des Festivals in Cannes, slowly heading towards the yacht marina.
Seeing the familiar white yacht moored on the shore, Su Xian thought of something she had never asked before. She looked at Lin Zhiyuan beside her and asked, "You recognized me the first time you saw me?"
"Um."
"Why? You probably only saw my back that day, and I was wearing a mask. How did you recognize me?"
Lin Zhiyuan's lips curled into a smile, but he didn't answer her question.
"How did you recognize me?" Su Xian grabbed his arm and shook it.
Lin Zhiyuan remained unmoved, and simply led her onto the main deck.
"Tell me," Su Xian said, very curious, but Lin Zhiyuan remained silent. She had no choice but to threaten him softly, "If you don't tell me, I won't talk to you tonight."
The glass door leading to the salon opened automatically. Su Xuan was still clinging to Lin Zhiyuan and acting coquettishly when she turned her head and saw that the honey-colored oak floor was covered with a layer of white rose petals. In the middle of the sea of flowers was a huge heart-shaped bouquet of white roses, which were the white roses she was most familiar with and the moonstone that would appear in her home on holidays.
A warm male voice softly sang from the speakers:
I am devoted to you with all my heart.
Please cherish this feeling.
Su Xian stepped on the fallen flowers and stopped in surprise. A premonition rose in her heart, but she dared not believe it.
Lin Zhiyuan released her hand, walked up to her, and his footsteps scattered the petals around her. Su Xuan stared blankly as Lin Zhiyuan knelt down on one knee in front of her and took out a small box from his suit.
This box is not the usual velvet jewelry box; it is dark gray with granular textures of varying sizes, like a sky full of stars.
The jewelry box was opened, and an extremely beautiful blue diamond ring appeared before Su Xuan's eyes.
"You just asked me how I recognized you. Actually, I can't really explain it, but I think it's more like an attraction from the dark." Lin Zhiyuan's velvety voice entered Su Xian's ears.
“I was attracted to you, I wanted to get to know you, get closer to you, understand you, and have you. But in our time together, I realized that none of that was enough. I want to be with you forever, I want to stay by your side and grow old with you.”
"Su Xian, will you marry me?"
The song continued:
Tell me you finally accepted
From now on, please use my surname.
Say "I DO I DO" to me.
Willing to make me happy for a lifetime
Su Xian looked at the ring, a radiant blue diamond, deep and rich, emitting a dazzling rainbow-colored light.
Lin Zhiyuan's words echoed in Su Xian's ears like a spell. She couldn't help but raise her hand and reach for the ring. The half-circle of the ring's shadow was cast on Su Xian's hand. She moved her hand so that the half-circle of shadow fell exactly on her ring finger.
It will definitely be beautiful.
With a loud "snap," the ring box slammed shut.
Lin Zhiyuan looked at her in disbelief. Su Xuan hurriedly avoided his gaze. The dark night seeped through the window like a black hole, swallowing the light in her eyes.
"To be your wife, you must know how to manage interpersonal relationships and be at ease in high-society settings; you must know how to appreciate art, understand auctions and collecting; and you must know how to manage such a large estate in an orderly manner."
"To do all this, I would have to put aside my own career and spend many years, and there is still a possibility that I might not do it well."
Lin Zhiyuan moved his lips, but Su Xian spoke first to stop him.
“At first you’ll be interested in teaching me, but day after day you’ll gradually lose patience. We’ll both get old and ugly, and after the passion fades, all that’s left is boredom with each other.”
"I don't want us to end up like that someday." Su Xian didn't dare look at Lin Zhiyuan's expression. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "Let's end it here."
Let's stop here, at the moment when we love each other the most.
Su Xian turned around, lifted her foot, and took one step, two steps, onto the rose petals. She took each step with difficulty, as if a huge force was pulling her legs from behind, preventing her from moving forward.
The pleasant male voice from the speakers was still singing:
Please cherish this feeling.
Then, at the end of a hundred years, you will live your life.
Let that true and devoted love be our witness.
Su Xian twitched the corner of her mouth. How much true and devoted love can there be in this world?
It's only 20 steps from the salon to the deck, then another 5 steps down, and you're off the yacht. No matter how difficult the walk, she'll still leave.
She remembers that counting can calm people down. She used to count before auditions or going on stage, and she became more and more at ease. The things that made her uneasy gradually decreased.
Why not count how many steps it takes to walk from the pier to the yacht club?
1, 2, 3... After walking across the boardwalk and entering the parking lot, my steps felt lighter as I continued forward.
398, 399, 400, exactly 400 steps. It was already evening, and the roundabout lined with palm trees had far fewer cars than when they had come. Su Xuan stood under the streetlights, and in a daze, she seemed to see them holding hands as they had come.
The dim light cast a long, thin shadow on the ground.
She and he were now only about 300 meters apart; if she turned around, she could still see the yacht. He should have stood up by now; kneeling for so long must have been tiring.
Su Xian looked up. The direction to her right seemed to be the direction they had come from, the direction of the cinema. She thought she should head that way first.
In truth, Su Xian didn't know where she was going. She walked mechanically, counting in her mind. 100 steps, 200 steps, 300 steps, almost 400 steps—she was getting further and further away from him. If she didn't look back soon, she really wouldn't be able to see the yacht anymore.
Perhaps he was standing on the yacht, watching her from afar, just like when they said goodbye in the alleys of Antibes, just like every time they said goodbye.
But this time was different! Su Xian suddenly stopped in her tracks. She desperately wanted to turn back and look at him again. She really wanted to. She hadn't given him a proper look when she left.
If she had known this was their end, she would have made sure to see him clearly first.
But she remembered his appearance clearly. She remembered his gentle smile, his single-mindedness when working, his tenderness, his frivolity... She could even still feel his warmth on her arm.
It felt like her heart was being slashed by a knife, one cut after another. She pressed her hands against her ribs, trying to stop the throbbing pain, but it was no use.
She had thought that they would break up one day, and she thought she would be strong, but it turns out she couldn't.
Su Xuan covered her face and squatted down, her shadow on the ground also shrinking.
As a child, her most vivid memories were of her parents arguing. Her father would scold her for burning the food, her mother would get angry because her father didn't do housework, and her mother would cry because he spent all his time at the mahjong parlor and she rarely saw him. Later, as she grew older, she wondered if they had ever truly loved each other.
Given Lin Zhiyuan's family background, they certainly wouldn't argue over such trivial matters. However, the gap between them was too great. After visiting the manor, Su Xian understood even more that she could not become a mistress like his mother.
But she craved his love, and selfishly thought that it would be good to stay by his side a little longer, and if he stopped loving her, she would leave.
But he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She knew she wasn't the right marriage partner for Lin Zhiyuan, so she should have refused. Tonight, her choice was right.
Su Xian, you made the right choice.
She told herself this over and over again.
Like a playful child, the seawater constantly runs to the shore, touches the rocks, and then quickly moves away, each time going a little further until the rocks are completely submerged. Over billions of years, the tides tirelessly wash over the land they can reach, erasing even the deepest imprints; it just takes time.
Her legs were numb from squatting, so Su Xian had to slowly stand up, bending over. She looked up and saw a black Mercedes parked on the side of the road—the same one she had ridden in on her way here. The moment the driver's side door opened, the faint light in Su Xian's eyes completely dimmed.
What could she possibly expect from breaking up with him so decisively? She was incredibly foolish.
The tall bodyguard closed the door and strode up to Su Xuan. "Miss Su, it's late. Let me take you home."
"Where are you taking me?"
“Miss Su, my orders are to escort you. As for where to go, that’s up to you.”
It must have been Lin Zhiyuan's order; it was a way of seeing her off on her final journey. Thank you for still maintaining your composure. Su Xian gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"Then could you please go back over there to retrieve my luggage and then take me to the airport?"
"The luggage is in the car; we haven't had time to put it on the ship yet," the bodyguard replied respectfully.
It's not just luggage that's running out of time.
The bodyguard opened the car door for Su Xuan, and she got in, but in the end, she didn't look back again.
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