Chapter 108 The Unbearable Lightness of Life
Many times, if you have not experienced it yourself, you will not believe what others say. Jing Rong thought she was determined and no one could stop her from doing what she wanted to do. She wanted to go home, and no matter how difficult or slim the hope was, she would keep trying. Even if she failed, at least she had tried her best. But she did not expect that under the same circumstances, she would back down twice.
Jing Rong has never been the kind of woman who takes care of her husband and children. Unlike her elegant father and gentle mother, Jing Rong was not born into the Jing family of a scholarly family. Perhaps it was because everything has its limits. She has been competitive since she was a child. No matter what she does, she either doesn't do it or does it to the best of her ability. In her more than ten years of study from elementary school to high school, her position as the top student has never been replaced. Even in a prestigious American university, facing the best from all over the world, she has gradually emerged from an inconspicuous and even despised Oriental to a person who is outstanding. All the students in the academy give her a thumbs up when her name is mentioned - even though the price she paid was that she often stayed up late and used all her holidays to study. She spent four years in college and never went home once. But Jing's parents couldn't sit still and would fly over to visit their daughter during the winter and summer vacations.
This shows how stubborn Jing Rong is. Jing Rong had a plan for her life since she was young. After studying abroad for a few years, she returned to teach at her father's university, also her alma mater, S University. Jing Rong was young and ambitious, with a strong sense of professionalism. S University was a prestigious school with good pay. Even if she were just an ordinary university teacher, she could find a husband of equal status and live a stable life. But Jing Rong didn't need that. She had a bachelor's degree from S University and a master's degree from a world-renowned university. This diploma wasn't just for show. Her student portfolio was impressive, with scholarships and honors galore, and a letter of recommendation from a professor. Returning home with such accolades, why couldn't she aim higher?
Of course, Chinese people are known for their ability to study, so master's degrees are commonplace. There are also numerous PhDs and postdocs teaching at universities. Jing Rong's academic credentials weren't enough to impress the entire university, and Jing Rong knew that. So, she chose to work at S University. More importantly, her father was a professor there, having run the university for decades. Jing Rong knew her colleagues and even the dean. While her father wouldn't guarantee her a quick promotion, as long as she performed well, she would undoubtedly have more opportunities than others. Furthermore, she believed in her own abilities, and success wasn't just a pipe dream.
Jing Rong has her life planned out perfectly, step by step, with clear and coherent structure, but none of this has anything to do with love. As a die-hard single, Jing Rong isn't against relationships. While it's true she hasn't had a single relationship in her 27 years, it's because she hasn't met anyone she's truly attracted to. A perfectionist, Jing Rong's high standards for a partner have led her friends to call her abnormal and downright picky. But it's undeniable that Jing Rong does choose boyfriends based on those standards; even the slightest difference won't do. She doesn't necessarily need a relationship, and would rather not have one than settle. But that was just love. What Jing Rong really rejected was marriage and having children. She was very picky about love and would not allow any deviation from her idea. However, even if they truly loved each other, the relationship would go from passionate to dull. Even two people who had a tacit understanding would have times of quarreling and getting angry. It was okay not to live together, as distance could create beauty. If you wanted to live together, there would inevitably be more friction. You had to learn to tolerate, learn to be tolerant, and put yourself in a difficult position when necessary... Jing Rong thought she could not do these. If the premise for two people to get along harmoniously was to lower their posture and compromise, then she might as well not have it, at least she would be at ease.
Jingrong wasn't a traditional woman. Marriage has always been linked to having children, regardless of gender. This is a common Chinese belief, as if having children would make life complete. Jingrong had never considered children. She never thought she would be a good mother, nor did she have the confidence to raise a child well. Of course, more importantly, she never thought she liked children. Thinking this way, Jingrong was actually a very selfish person. That's why she was able to push Quan Zhilong, who loved her so much, to that point. Although she treated this world as a playground, the feelings of everyone in this world for her were all genuine, but she turned a blind eye to them. When the time came, she still had no hesitation in leaving. Even with Taeyang, whom she truly recognized, she never thought of saying goodbye.
Could such a heartless woman really have a soft side? In fact, even Jingrong herself doubted it and struggled with it, but her determination to leave this world behind and return home never wavered, which only goes to show how resolute she was. Last night, when G-Dragon announced she was pregnant, Jingrong thought it was absurd and, of course, caught off guard. She remained expressionless, believing a child wouldn't change anything. After all, she didn't understand anything right now, did she?
Jing Rong's first reaction after hearing the news was to abort the child. No one could stop her from going home. However, in many cases, if the first thought is not carried out, there may never be such an opportunity again. Jing Rong could never have imagined that she would be the soft-hearted person.
So, unless you experience it yourself, you simply can't understand. Jingrong listened to G-Dragon chattering away with his child, her face impassive. Yet, in her dreams, a delicate little figure would often appear, clinging to her legs and calling "Mom." A feeling she'd never felt before welled up within her, a feeling of fulfillment yet also of heartbreak. The therapist was even more powerful, unknowingly painting a beautiful picture before her, constantly tempting her to immerse herself in it. Jingrong's indifference was all on the surface, a facade that almost fooled everyone. That was because she'd fooled herself first. In reality, this child, her blood, was still beating vibrantly in her belly. She felt such a miraculous little life with her heart. How could she truly remain indifferent? She could care less about her own life, but what about this living being? It had come into this world as a real being, with so much hope for its growth. It deserved a wonderful life, a happy birth, growth, and a carefree existence... How could she selfishly snuff it out?
Jing Rong suddenly felt a pain in her heart, like a knife. Although she was not sure whether it was her real pain or the telepathy between her and the little guy in her belly, Jing Rong finally understood Quan Zhilong's feelings at the moment, although the degree of pain was less than one-tenth of his.
Jingrong was held by Quan Zhilong, his warm hands on her belly. Through the thin hospital gown, she could still feel his burning temperature. She didn't know if it was a psychological effect, but she felt her belly moving, as if in response to Quan Zhilong's movements. The fetus had no consciousness, but was instinctively and joyfully greeting its future father. Before Quan Zhilong's outburst, he had said many words to it, told it stories, and was very much looking forward to the arrival of this little life. Perhaps he had also made up his mind to do everything he could to make it happy for the rest of its life. At this moment, Quan Zhilong's words, which seemed like a desperate farewell, deeply shocked Jingrong.
Jing Rong suddenly felt that she shouldn't be so selfish. She might not care about life or death when she was alone, but what about two people? Plus the fetus that had just taken shape and had infinite possibilities. Was it really worth it to sacrifice two other lives that had nothing to do with this goal for a goal that couldn't be confirmed to succeed?
She has always wanted to go home. This world is not where she belongs. That's why she chose such a decisive approach. In fact, she knew in her heart that the chances of going back were less than 10%. The reason she was willing to do it even if it cost her life was that there was nothing in this world worth her staying for. However, G-Dragon was different. If he jumped, she would still have nearly 10% chance of survival, but G-Dragon had nothing. But he was still so young and had such a long future. He was different from her. In this world, he should have and cherish more than she thought. He had aging parents, brothers and teammates who had fought together and would continue to fight side by side in the future, and countless young people who regarded him as their belief and life goal. He also had a lifelong career and ideals that he had persisted in throughout his youth and would continue to persist in. His future was long and he should live longer to open up a broader stage. His life should be a brilliant life art and should not come to an abrupt end because of such a ridiculous reason.
Thinking of this, Jing Rong turned back to face Quan Zhilong. Her eyes were slightly red, and she looked deeply into his. This was the first time Quan Zhilong had seen some color in her eyes in all those days. Even if it wasn't what he had hoped for, it was enough to make him excited. It was said that Quan Zhilong was too thin to be a human figure. In fact, after all these ordeals, Jing Rong's face had shrunk to the size of a palm. Her pale skin, coupled with her red eyes, made her look pitiful. Quan Zhilong couldn't hide his tenderness in his heart, and he even forgot what he should do. He lowered his head and kissed her cheek, whispering softly, "Don't be afraid, I'm with you."
Until G-Dragon said this, Jing Rong was finally sure that he really wanted to die with her, even if it was just for this second, so Jing Rong had reason to believe that G-Dragon brought her up at this moment not only to stimulate her and wake her up, but in fact he was determined to die if he failed. If she continued to be stubborn, he really dared to jump down with her in his arms.
Thinking of this, Jing Rong pursed his lips and actually smiled. He hadn't drunk a drop of water in a few days and had hardly spoken a word. When he spoke, his voice was very hoarse and broken. Jing Rong whispered, "Do you really think it's worth it to give up your wonderful life and future for me? Are you really willing to do it?"
"Because you are everything to me."
"Then everything you have is a bit too cheap."
Quan Zhilong hugged her tightly and said, "You are not me, how would you know? But I think this is the most unique treasure in the world."
Jing Rong stopped talking and looked down. The place was already full of people. Some were wearing hospital gowns, some were wearing white coats, and some were passing by the hospital and heard the noise and ran over to watch. It was packed and densely packed. Although he couldn't see their expressions clearly from above, he could guess the worry on their faces. Even if he couldn't see who the two people were, even if he knew they were strangers he met by chance, people still retained a natural awe in the face of life.
If it wasn't for the desire to go home, Jing Rong didn't think she would do anything to commit suicide. That was completely inconsistent with her style and outlook on life. The first thing a selfish person learns is to love themselves.
As the saying goes, "The emperor is not anxious, but the eunuchs are." Often, before the person in the situation even realizes it, the people around them are already getting anxious. Jing Rong and Quan Zhilong were still in the mood to chat, seemingly at their ease. However, they didn't know that when Quan Zhilong bent down to kiss Jing Rong's forehead, when Jing Rong looked down, as if he really wanted to jump, someone nearby had already covered their mouths, unable to bear to watch. At this critical moment, if they had relaxed even a little, a tragedy would have happened.
In just less than two minutes, for Jing Rong and Quan Zhilong, it felt like half a century. The same was true for the people watching from above and below. Life was unbearable and no one could bear to watch two lives disappear before their eyes.
Jing Rong was not a pretentious person. Since she had made a choice in her heart, she did not continue to whet everyone's appetite. She just looked down deeply, with determination, and completely buried a certain idea and a certain memory from then on. She never denied her selfishness. At this moment, she was even comforting herself in her heart. It has been almost a year since she left. Maybe her parents have been mentally prepared for it... It's not that she doesn't want to go back, but she has something she wants to cherish more. She can only understand her parents' feelings after having her own children. But she can't deny that the most important thing in her life has quietly changed since then.
Jing Rong finally closed his eyes, as if all the strength in his body had been drained away. He collapsed in Quan Zhilong's arms and whispered, "Let's go back."
Quan Zhilong paused, a trace of disbelief flashed in his eyes, followed by complete surprise. He hugged her tightly: "Jingrong, are you serious?"
Jing Rong just buried his head tiredly in his arms and stopped talking. So this thrilling "exercise" of jumping off the building ended like a reversal drama. However, when G-Dragon carried Jing Rong down from the rooftop, many medical staff nearby had red eyes. Unlike the onlookers below who could not see clearly, they watched the two people closely and did not even miss their expressions and eyes. So they knew that it was a critical moment. If Jing Rong had been a little depressed, the tragedy would have happened.
Thank God, there are still things in this world worth her staying for. As long as she no longer has such thoughts, I believe things will get better and better in the future.
G-Dragon's actions also touched countless white angels. If it weren't for his and Jing Rong's special identities, everyone would have turned into truth makers, spreading this great event online, with the headlines definitely being "I believe in love again." It's so romantic to have a man like this who will laugh with you, hurt with you, and even be willing to die with you.
However, G-Dragon, who has become a hero in the eyes of the angels in white, is not waiting for flowers and applause. Although he is very proud of this, if it were not for him, Jing Rong would never have given up that idea.
Under the watchful eyes of the crowd, Quan Zhilong carried Jingrong and brought a group of people back to Jingrong's ward. The attending doctor came up to examine Jingrong immediately. After all, the situation was very dangerous, and it was not known whether Jingrong's current physical condition could handle it. The ward was cleared out again, and Quan Zhilong was also kicked out. When he was about to stand at the door and wait, Jingrong's psychiatrist came to call him. The two went to the lounge next door. After closing the door, the psychiatrist looked at Quan Zhilong with disapproval: "Mr. Quan, you are too radical. Don't you know that doing so is very dangerous? If you are not careful, you will be doomed."
"sorry."
"This isn't about apologizing, sir. Since the patient is my responsibility, I have a duty to look after her. She must be very fragile mentally, and not all stimulation has a positive effect. Have you ever considered what would have happened if the patient hadn't figured it out?"
G-Dragon remained silent. The psychiatrist sighed and added, "I understand you're worried, but psychotherapy is a gradual process. You can't just rush it and fix the problem. Besides, after these two sessions, the patient's mind has loosened somewhat. It's only a matter of time before he comes to his senses. There's really no need to rush."
"I'm sorry. Maybe you think it doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as she can recover, but I can't wait. If she continues like this, I might collapse before she recovers."
Hearing this, the psychiatrist was silent for a moment, then nodded and said, "Well, you should be thankful that you are lucky."
G-Dragon smiled and said nothing. Perhaps it could indeed be attributed to luck. After all, when he did that, he had no idea what to do and even made the worst-case scenario plan. Just like Jing Rong thought, if he failed, he would die.
After a long silence, the psychiatrist continued, "Sir, I've researched what you told me yesterday, and I haven't found any such cases yet."
"No?" Quan Zhilong paused and asked hurriedly, "How could that be? Isn't that what split personality is like?"
The psychiatrist shook his head. "I tried discussing this with the patient today, and there's no such tendency. She's incredibly lucid, and doesn't seem to be experiencing split personality disorder at all... Perhaps she's subconsciously keeping this a secret, but I'm more inclined to believe it's a joke. She's using it as an excuse to comfort you out of fear of upsetting you."
Quan Zhilong frowned, obviously not satisfied with this explanation. The psychiatrist then said, "And, sir, apart from you, the patient has never said anything like this to anyone else?"
Quan Zhilong nodded: "As far as I know, no."
"Then my guess makes perfect sense. The patient also knew that you would be the one most devastated by her suicide. She was afraid you wouldn't be able to accept it, so she made up this excuse in advance to make you feel better."
The psychiatrist's explanation was actually quite perfect, but G-Dragon subconsciously didn't quite believe it. One look at his expression and the psychiatrist understood. He just smiled and said, "I'll continue to research this matter."
Quan Zhilong bowed and said, "Thank you for your help."
"It's just my job."
After chatting with the psychiatrist for a while, the attending doctor over there also finished examining Jing Rong and found that there was nothing wrong with him. Moreover, Jing Rong cooperated with him very well during this examination. Although he still had no expression and did not speak actively, he answered all the questions he asked, unlike before when he had no reaction at all. The attending doctor was also happy. After coming out of the ward, he saw Quan Zhilong and did not blame him for being too excited. Instead, he patted him on the shoulder and smiled: "The patient is in good condition now, but she is a little too thin. I am worried that the baby in her belly will not get enough nutrition. You should pay more attention to her conditioning."
Quan Zhilong also bowed sincerely: "Thank you."
"You're welcome." After giving G-Dragon his instructions, the attending physician went to the office with the psychologist next to him to discuss the latest situation. After all, the patient they were in charge of was not a simple one. The dean asked him about the condition of this little ancestor three times a day. Now that there was good news, they sorted out the report and saved themselves the trouble of being called to the dean's office for a meeting every day.
When Quan Zhilong entered the ward, Jingrong was lying on the bed, staring blankly out the window with the curtains drawn. Quan Zhilong paused, walked over, bent down to twirl the quilt for Jingrong, and looking directly into her eyes, he asked softly, "The doctor said that we need to pay attention to balanced nutrition, otherwise the baby in our stomach will be hungry. Can we eat something first?"
Jing Rong turned his face away slightly and said, "Let's talk about it later."
Quan Zhilong ignored her polite refusal. The sumptuous meal was still placed on the small table next to him. Quan Zhilong did not touch it. He just took the thermos cup his sister gave him and poured soup out of it while saying, "The food is cold. I have asked the nurse to buy new ones. But you can't just pour this soup away. My sister said that this was made by mom herself, with all her heart. Besides, this is not entirely for you, but for our little baby. Eat some while it's still hot..."
Jing Rong never liked eating greasy food, and he didn't even want to smell it, so he shook his head and said, "You eat it, I have no appetite."
G-Dragon ignored her refusal and said with a straight face, "I told you it's not for you to eat. This is what the baby loves to drink the most."
Jing Rong looked at him with a serious expression and wanted to ask him how he knew that, but she remained silent in the end. Quan Zhilong took it as his agreement and moved a stool to sit opposite her. Knowing that she didn't like to drink, he fed her slowly, one mouthful at a time.
G-Dragon hurriedly dragged Jing Rong to the rooftop, looking like he was going to commit suicide for love. Such a big thing once again shocked the entire hospital. The hospital naturally did not hide it and immediately notified Jing Rong's relatives and friends. The others seemed to have made an appointment and met in the hospital parking lot. In fact, it was a coincidence that they received the notice at the same time and rushed over at the same speed. The time they spent was almost the same, so the chance of meeting in the hospital was very high.
When everyone arrived at the ward, they saw Quan Zhilong feeding Jingrong. The nurses tactfully withdrew, leaving the two of them in the room with a very affectionate look. Almost subconsciously, everyone glanced back to look at Zheng Yunhao, who was standing at the back. Zheng Yunhao raised an eyebrow: "Why don't you go in?"
"Ah...oh!" It was rare for Zhang Zhiyao to be in such a situation, but she reacted quickly and walked in first. The others followed in one by one. Quan Zhilong had almost finished feeding and put down the bowl. Zhang Zhiyao glanced at him domineeringly, obviously dissatisfied with his crazy behavior of dragging Jingrong to death, but she didn't say anything. Although Quan Zhilong was a little intense, he was able to wake Jingrong up, so that was enough, wasn't it?
Jing Rong survived several disasters, but Zhang Zhiyao's first reaction was not to feel relieved, but to threaten him: "If you do that kind of thing again, don't be my friend anymore. I don't have such a cowardly friend!"
Cui Yingya also nodded in agreement and wanted to say something, but Taiyang saw a flash of fatigue in Jingrong's eyes and said quickly: "I think Jingrong is tired, let her rest first. There is no rush to settle the accounts. We can settle the accounts when the time comes." This sentence made his position clear.
Zheng Yunhao also smiled and said, "That's right, it's best that Jingrong is okay now."
Although Jingrong didn't talk to them, she was willing to eat, which was a good progress. After experiencing this series of stimulations, everyone didn't care about her little awkwardness. After observing her expression, they said goodbye and left. Taeyang didn't follow them. He stayed and had something to say to G-Dragon.
"G-Dragon." Taeyang pulled G-Dragon out into the corridor. "What on earth happened today? I heard it was a big commotion. Did many people see it?"
Quan Zhilong knew what Taeyang was worried about. He shook his head and said, "The only people who could tell it was mine were the hospital staff. The others were watching downstairs. They were too far away to see clearly."
"I always feel uneasy. After all, we came back so quietly, but we were still discovered. We were even photographed at the hospital entrance..."
"That's nothing." Quan Zhilong said, "Even if he could see clearly, he would only see me. Jingrong's face would be blocked."
Taiyang wanted to sigh: "Even if I only saw you, the situation is very serious, okay... Forget it, I will talk to my agent about this first and ask him to pay attention to it first. I will notify you immediately if there is any progress."
Quan Zhilong nodded, "Thank you."
"What are you talking about? This is what I should do."
Quan Zhilong stepped forward and patted Taeyang on the shoulder. Taeyang patted him twice in return. Then he looked back at the closed door of the ward and asked, "Can I go in and talk to Jingrong?"
Quan Zhilong paused and nodded: "Let's go in and try it."
"Jingrong..." Taeyang sat in the seat where G-Dragon had sat before, calling out hesitantly. For the first time, he felt cautious towards Jingrong.
G-Dragon leaned against the door, unaware of what was happening inside. He thought Jing Rong would ignore Taeyang either. After all, although she was no longer trying to commit suicide, she was still much worse than before. She still ignored him and looked very lazy. She probably didn't treat Taeyang any specially.
As a result, Jingrong smiled at the sun for the first time.
The author has something to say: I saw the news about a senior high school student committing suicide online, and I felt a little heavy in my heart. It just so happened that I was writing about the topic of suicide, so I felt a lot more emotional. In fact, there is really no hurdle that cannot be overcome, and being alive is better than anything else.
Well, this is the first one
A daily tyrant——
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Thank you guys╭╮
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