Chapter 92: Sleepless Night
Even if everyone cannot empathize with G-Dragon's feelings, they understand it. In this love, G-Dragon has given the most and is the most unreserved. It is almost unprecedented that he has devoted himself to love someone to such an extent, and the degree of dedication and compromise is such that he almost forgets himself. They didn't care before, but these days, seeing G-Dragon becoming more and more silent day by day, they couldn't help but wonder in their hearts. In the end, everyone suddenly realized that it's not that G-Dragon is not like himself now, but it is clear that he has become unlike himself after meeting Jing Rong.
It turns out that love has such great magic that it can even make selfish people forget themselves.
I wonder if G-Dragon dares to face his unrecognizable self when he wakes up in the middle of the night.
G-Dragon's friends, besides feeling heartbroken, didn't know what else to express. It wasn't like they were speechless; they could actually feel sorry for him. He'd given so much, only to end up with such a result. Even though Jingrong had her reasons, it was she who provoked G-Dragon first, and it wasn't enough that she was the one who left first. The rumors about Jingrong and Jung Yunho hadn't stopped. Given their backgrounds, how could the media have been so bold if they hadn't been intentionally indulging them? Ultimately, they had no say in the breakup, but knowing G-Dragon was hurting after the breakup, they kept rubbing salt into his wounds. That was just too much!
Seungri had once, tentatively and indignantly, complained to G-Dragon about Jingrong's behavior. Besides feeling genuinely aggrieved, he mostly wanted to divert G-Dragon's attention. Like Jingrong, even if he couldn't let go, turning his love into hatred would at least make things better, right? Forget Seungri; even TOP knew about it and didn't stop Seungri from messing around that time. Honestly, at this point, there was no point insisting on an amicable breakup. No matter what, helping G-Dragon move on smoothly was better than anything else. After a breakup, they were supposed to stay away from each other forever. Turning love into hate wasn't a big deal.
But the final result left everyone speechless. No matter how much Seungri complained or tried to probe, G-Dragon remained impassive, his face expressionless, his eyes unwavering. It was as if life had become a stagnant pool, unable to withstand even the slightest ripple, no matter how big a rock was thrown. So everyone understood his attitude. Even after things got to this point, he still couldn't bear to blame her, nor let them vent their anger on her.
In the end, everyone was really out of options. They simply let it go and, except for being a little dull, G-Dragon was completely open in front of them. At other times, he would whitewash everything so that people wouldn't see that he did anything wrong, or at least he wouldn't make any big mistakes. At most, they would pay more attention to G-Dragon's condition and once again put the name "Jing Rong" behind them. Anything related to her was not allowed to appear in their lives, thinking that this would make G-Dragon feel better.
But could this really be the case? Even if they didn't mention it, Jingrong never disappeared from Quan Zhilong's mind, not even for a second. Even when he fell asleep, his dreams were filled with her!
There are some things only you know. G-Dragon behaves very well in front of others, but he is unable to pretend in front of his teammates and seems a little disappointed. That is just the tip of the iceberg. Only he himself knows that he is now no different from a walking corpse. It is as if his whole body and mind are completely separated. He lives numbly, step by step, according to his usual habits. He laughs when he should laugh, occasionally jokes, and sometimes complains of being tired, so naturally everyone thinks he is okay, but he is really not okay. It is as if another G-Dragon has split out in his mind, watching his every move coldly, mocking, and grieving.
In fact, his heart has never been able to break free from the shackles of "Jingrong", and his memories are still stuck in the past when she was there.
However, after such a dedicated performance tonight, G-Dragon was indeed very tired as he said. On the way back to the hotel, he didn't talk much with Taeyang and the others. As soon as he arrived at his room, he didn't do anything else and just turned on the water to take a shower. After coming out of the shower, he didn't do anything else. He just turned off the lights, lay on the bed, closed his eyes, and emptied his mind. He didn't think about anything, not how she was doing now, who she was with, or whether she would think of him when it was late at night.
It was a dark night and the room was silent. G-Dragon closed his eyes. After an unknown amount of time, his breathing gradually became steady and long. Perhaps he really fell asleep.
Jingrong, who was constantly thinking about her, was also getting ready to wash up and go to bed. Tomorrow was another tough battle, so she needed to conserve her energy. Since G-Dragon wasn't feeling well, Jingrong hadn't been feeling well either. The closer she got to returning home, the more she felt a sense of unease. Her entire body tensed up, perhaps because she was homesick. And then there was President Xue, who was also a source of real worry for Jingrong.
Logically speaking, the current situation is getting better and better for Jingrong. As long as she can successfully become the president of Xue Corporation at this conference, even if it is President Xue's greatest wish, he should put his worries aside and rest assured to recuperate. Now that Jingrong has the full support of the Zheng and Zhang families, success is in sight. President Xue must be aware of this bright future. At least he should be able to relax. As the saying goes, people are in high spirits when they encounter happy events. Isn't it the same principle that the ancients used to seek happiness for the same reason? President Xue's condition is actually suspicious.
Jingrong couldn't help but think of what Dr. Chen had said to her when she went to the hospital the afternoon before yesterday.
"Ms. Xue, logically I shouldn't interfere in this matter, but this is a special case..."
Jing Rong smiled and said, "Doctor Chen, if you have anything to say, just tell me directly. I know your suggestions are all based on my father's health."
"I'm glad Miss Xue understands. I'll speak directly without hesitation. Please forgive me if I'm offended."
"It's okay, go ahead."
"That's right. You've probably noticed that since returning to Seoul, the president's condition hasn't improved, but has actually worsened. He's clearly looked energetic in recent days, but a closer examination reveals no improvement. Our expert team has discussed this situation, and medication won't be of much use in his current situation. So, we suggest we focus on human intervention, doing our best and leaving the rest to fate."
"What do you mean?"
"The Xue Group's shareholders' meeting is about to be held. The chairman will definitely attach great importance to this matter. However, given his current physical condition, caring about these matters will only cause a burden, not only mentally but also physically."
Seeing Dr. Chen's serious expression, Jing Rong knew he had been negligent. Recently, because of this incident, President Xue's ward had been bustling with people coming and going. Besides his assistant secretary and some trusted subordinates, other shareholders of the company, and even many members of the board of directors had come to inquire about the situation. This had indeed put a strain on President Xue's health. Jing Rong, knowing his mistake, nodded and said, "It was indeed my fault. Let's put it this way. From today on, no one will enter or leave my father's ward, except... Mrs. Xue. Visiting hours will be limited to two hours a day."
Doctor Chen nodded, pleased with Jingrong's decision. He had indeed considered everything carefully, blocking most visitors and leaving two hours for President Xue to choose. This way, President Xue wouldn't be distracted from recuperating due to concerns about the outside world. However, Doctor Chen's satisfaction didn't show on his face. He continued seriously, "Besides this, there's something else I'd like to discuss with Miss Xue."
"What's up?"
"I also read the news and know that the results of this conference are very important to you and the Xue family. But Miss Xue, have you ever considered the impact of this result on the president?"
Jing Rong's face was calm. "I know, but I'm not blindly optimistic. There are no other possibilities for this election."
"Indeed." Doctor Chen nodded. "I believe the president is aware of this, but Miss Xue, have you ever thought about why the current situation is what the president is happy to see, but the president does not show any joy, and his health has not improved because of this exciting fact?"
"What do you mean?"
"Based on the president's current condition, I boldly speculate that even if the outcome is very good, it won't have a positive impact on him. Instead, he'll feel free because his wish has been fulfilled, and then become even more negative about the treatment."
Jing Rong's eyes darkened when he heard this. Doctor Chen continued, "So, no matter what, you should be as careful as possible. Miss Xue, please don't tell the president all about the Xue Group all at once."
Jing Rong came back to his senses and found that he had been staring at the desk lamp for a long time. His hand, which was about to reach out to turn off the light, stopped stiffly in the air. Jing Rong symbolically pulled the corner of his mouth and turned off the light with a snap. Then the room fell into darkness and it was terrifyingly quiet.
Jing Rong, however, was no longer sleepy, not even thinking about going to sleep, so she just hugged the thin blanket and leaned against the headboard. Jing Rong didn't know why she suddenly thought of what Doctor Chen said. In fact, she had originally planned to just listen to it and not really do what Doctor Chen said.
Jingrong has always known what she is doing. Logically, she should have completed her mission and returned home long ago. Now she is just soft-hearted and wants to be a good person, so she is so active in running around for Chairman Xue, and even pulls Zheng Yunhao down to use him to fulfill Chairman Xue's wish that his daughter can safely inherit the Xue Group. But on the other hand, Jingrong also knows that she is not the real person after all. Xue Jingrong did not make this request at all. She has done her best by taking the initiative to do this. Besides, Chairman Xue's current physical condition will definitely not last too long. To put it bluntly, he will face that day sooner or later. Let him fulfill his wish and then leave without worries, which is better than never getting up again because of the loss of his daughter and all kinds of grief, right?
If she were a little more selfish, Jing Rong would want to be more comprehensive, so that President Xue would not have even the slightest worry, and leave completely and peacefully as soon as possible, and she wouldn't have to worry so much anymore.
Thinking of this, Jing Rong suddenly sat up straight. Ever since she accepted the conditions of the mission from me, she also put forward a condition that I would never show up again. I have been doing a good job and disappeared very completely, which really made Jing Rong unable to feel her presence, so that she forgot such an important thing... In fact, she should have completed the mission now, why hasn't I come to find her?
Jing Rong reached out and turned on the light. After staying in the dark for too long, the slightly soft desk lamp also made Jing Rong feel that her eyes were irritated. So she closed her eyes slightly, and waited until she was slightly accustomed to the brightness before finally opening them. Jing Rong raised her head slightly with an unfocused gaze. No one could tell whether she was concentrating on looking at the ceiling or the air. After looking for a while, Jing Rong said softly, "Can you come out now?"
In the dead of night, in the tightly closed room, only Jing Rong's light voice drifted in the air, and then nothing was left. A hint of hesitation flashed in Jing Rong's eyes, and then he raised his voice: "Xue Jingrong, shouldn't you come out to exchange results at this time?"
Jing Rong's gentle voice faded into the air, leaving nothing behind. Jing Rong's brows knitted together in the silence that filled the room. After a moment, as if she had figured something out, her brows gradually relaxed. She was still playing dead, perhaps because she wasn't meeting her standards? Was it because Quan Zhilong's suffering wasn't enough to appease her?
Jing Rong looked down at his hands with a complicated look, and he no longer felt sleepy at all.
In a strange place, although G-Dragon went to bed early, he was not at all restful. In fact, he had never had a truly restful sleep since Jingrong left him. He kept dreaming every night, one after another. In the last second, he was happily living with the person he loved until old age, and the next second, she was hugging another man's hand and smiling like a flower. The dream was so real that G-Dragon could not tell whether it was a dream or reality. The feeling of heartache was very clear. Even after waking up, sometimes he forgot the content of the dream, but he could not forget the heart-wrenching pain at that moment.
Tonight, G-Dragon was once again awakened by a nightmare in the middle of his sleep. He sat up from the bed with sweat all over his head. He did not turn on the light and immersed himself in the darkness. This time, he remembered the scene in the dream clearly, and it even seemed real, as if Jing Rong really said those words into his ear, and he clearly saw the flash of sarcasm in her eyes.
"Actually, I've never loved you..."
Haha, if she really never loved him, why would she have lingered with him for so long? He must be overthinking it. Even if they couldn't be together, there was no need to completely overturn their past. G-Dragon kept comforting himself in his heart. Even if they couldn't be together in the end, the past was still real. They had loved each other, how could she deny it with just one word?
The feeling of heartache did not disappear just because of G-Dragon's self-comfort. Of course, G-Dragon didn't care. He had become accustomed to such pain and numb to it. Of course, if you immerse yourself in such pain every day and every moment, you will get used to it in a few days. It seems that you have become indestructible. G-Dragon really feels that no matter how big the blow in the future is, it will not hurt him - of course, it's just what he feels. In fact, he has never been indifferent to anything related to Jingrong.
Late at night, it was quiet and silent. In the darkness, G-Dragon once again indulged his thoughts. Only at this time every day would he face the defeated and disorganized self, the G-Dragon who was completely unlike himself, the weak G-Dragon who even he despised. But despite this, he had to admit that after losing Jingrong, he even lost his courage and meaning. Seungri said that his life was becoming less and less passionate, and he just smiled it off. Only when he woke up from an empty dream every night, would he admit that what they said were actually right, and even more. A failed love made him unable to stand up completely, and even his original expectations and yearning for life disappeared. But he thought, even if he knew the ending, he would still choose this step, because he couldn't help but love that person, and that person's departure would inevitably make him change drastically.
If I were to use an idiom to describe it, it would be "enjoy it like sweet".
September 30th is the Mid-Autumn Festival in China, which is called Chuseok in South Korea, but the meaning is similar. Family reunions are indispensable, and the shareholders' meeting was suspended for one day because of this important festival. At noon, Jingrong and Zheng Yunhao had lunch with Chairman Xue in the hospital. They wanted to stay with him longer, but under the stern urging of Chairman Xue, they only sat for an hour or two and left the hospital.
It was only around two in the afternoon. Although President Xue had asked them to leave early for the Zheng family, there was no need to leave so early. Of course, apart from the last time she met the Zheng family's parents at the hospital, this was Jingrong's first official visit to the Zheng family. After all, it was her "future in-laws", and considering how kind Zheng Yunhao was to her, she should pay more attention to it. As soon as she came out of the hospital, Jingrong smiled and said to Zheng Yunhao, "We have some time now, let's go buy some gifts first?"
Jung Yunho smiled faintly: "No need to be so formal, just be here."
"No, that won't do. If I were so careless, Chairman Xue would be so pissed he'd jump up and down." Jing Rong understood exactly why Chairman Xue was so eager to kick her out. Although it was an arranged marriage, they had to make their own lives together. After all, they would be living together in the future. Chairman Xue certainly wanted her to build a good relationship with the Zheng family so that they could live happier in the future. So, this first visit couldn't be sloppy. Of course, such matters should have been handled by the elders, but Chairman Xue was willing but unable. Even if Mrs. Xue had wanted to, Jing Rong and Chairman Xue wouldn't be so reassured. Although Mrs. Xue had been devoted and loyal to Chairman Xue for so long, Jing Rong's attitude towards her hadn't changed in the slightest. She held no ill will towards Mrs. Xue, nor did she have any affection for her. They would just keep their distance. After all, closeness wasn't always a good thing. Chairman Xue, knowing Jing Rong's attitude, didn't want his wife to risk such bad luck. Besides, his daughter was now very capable and managed everything well, so he didn't need to worry.
Although Jingrong and President Xue had different starting points, they also attached great importance to this meeting, purely because they were Zheng Yunhao's parents. Zheng Yunhao was a man who made her grateful and guilty, and his parents also deserved her high respect.
Zheng Yunhao could hear the seriousness in Jingrong's tone, and the corners of his mouth unconsciously raised a few points, but he still insisted: "I'm glad you have this intention. My parents are easy to get along with, don't be nervous."
"Okay, you have to wait until I tell you that I want you to go shopping with me before you agree, right?" Jing Rong joked half-seriously.
Jung Yunho chuckled and nodded seriously, "You figured that out."
"Okay, there's a large shopping mall nearby, let's go there."
"Okay." Zheng Yunhao nodded, walked to the front of the car, opened the passenger door, let Jingrong get in, closed the door, and then walked around to the driver's seat. Jingrong watched him fasten his seat belt and said, "You have to cheer up today. If I don't give the right gift and it doesn't please your family, you will take full responsibility."
"Is there anyone who would make sarcastic remarks about himself before he even starts?"
"I'm just preparing for a rainy day."
Jung Yunho laughed: "You have to believe in your own charm. Even I can't resist it, and my family has nothing to say."
Jing Rong then glanced at him coldly without saying anything. Zheng Yunhao just smiled and drove seriously. They soon arrived at the mall and parked the car. Zheng Yunhao unbuckled his seat belt. As soon as he got out of the car, Jing Rong also got out. Zheng Yunhao smiled at her, walked over and offered to hold Jing Rong's bag for her. Jing Rong shook her head: "No need..."
"Don't be so stingy, I still need to show my gentlemanly manners."
Jing Rong smiled slightly, but still handed the bag to Zheng Yunhao. The two walked into the mall side by side. As they walked, Jing Rong said, "Tell me about their preferences."
Jung Yunho cooperated very well and started talking. Chatting while shopping was the best way to kill time. Jung Yunho and Jingrong kept talking about the topic, from his family's preferences to other aspects of his family, and even some things that the outside world didn't know, Jung Yunho told them all.
"...Aren't you and your eldest brother brothers from the same father and mother?"
"Well, my brother is my father's son with his ex-wife, but we have always had a good relationship. If it weren't for my brother taking on the responsibilities of the family, I wouldn't be able to pursue the life I want so freely." Zheng Yunhao explained, then changed the subject, "However, this matter has always made my mother very sad, because my eldest brother is not her biological son. So she has always wanted me to follow the path arranged by the family to prove that I am no worse than my brother. It's just that I was too rebellious at the time and didn't listen to the family's discipline at all. My mother couldn't bear to force me, so she reluctantly agreed. She even helped convince my father when he was so angry that he wanted to cut off all ties with me."
A mother's love is great. Jing Rong unconsciously thought of his own parents and sighed softly, "It's not easy for your mother either."
"Yes, so I swore at that time that I would be filial to her in the future."
"I suddenly feel a little worried. What if your mother doesn't like me?"
Hearing this, Zheng Yunhao glanced at Jingrong. After seeing the seriousness in her eyes, he couldn't help but put his arm around her shoulders and said with a smile: "Don't worry, as long as it's what I like, my mother won't object."
Jingrong said seriously, "I'm telling the truth. This must be very difficult for you, right?" If, as Jung Yunho said, Jung's mother loved her son so deeply, how could she agree to let a girl like her, who was clearly "in love," become her son's fiancée? Jung's mother must have felt that her son deserved the most beautiful woman in the world—of course, every mother would think so. However, from the beginning until now, she had even met with Jung's mother once, and she had never expressed any such intentions. It is conceivable how much effort Jung Yunho had put into this.
It’s just that Jung Yunho is used to keeping things in his heart. Even though he did so much behind the scenes, he always acted as if nothing had happened. It was not until Jingrong asked him about it and he could no longer hide it that he finally admitted it.
Jing Rong sighed softly, "I truly regret it." He shouldn't have been so sanctimonious. What purpose did this whole incident serve, other than allowing President Xue to leave without any worries? But then what? After everything was settled, how would Jung Yunhao, who didn't need to be involved in this, cope with it?
Jing Rong's voice was neither too loud nor too soft, but Zheng Yunhao heard it clearly. He could hear the seriousness in her tone, so he couldn't help but put his arm around Jing Rong's shoulders, interrupting her thoughts: "I didn't want you to know because I knew you would have this reaction!"
The author has something to say: You little devils are too hard to please. I split the chapters into two and you think the words are not enough. Then I put them together and you think the update is too late. Have you had enough?╮(╯_╰)╭
In this case, I'll just go with my mood o(╯□╰)o I haven't started the second update yet, I'll finish it first and then go back to the small black room╭(╯3╰)╮
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The person waiting for the next shift threw a rocket launcher. Time of throwing: 2014-03-12 00:07:51
13087031 threw a mine
2014-03-12 01:29:33
Friends, you are going to sell everything you have to blow me up again. I am so touched. At around 7 o'clock, I was refreshing the messages on my mobile phone. As a result, a message of throwing mines appeared one after another. I thought * was teasing me o(╯□╰)o You naughty little fairies
Also, digital girl, *I took out your thunder, I couldn’t find the background, I love you, come and beat it with me*
Okay, I'm going back to the dark room, don't miss me too much
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