"Girl, even the most powerful man will inevitably show some childlike side in front of his family. Your father is like that, and Xiao Yan will probably be like that in the future."
Tong Xiaohuai finally understood that her mother had come to teach her some ways to get along with her lover.
However, she really needs to ask her mother for advice.
Because, ever since she met Yanbo, she has always felt that she is the one being pampered.
Indeed, this is a good thing.
After all, every girl wants a strong boyfriend who pampers her and protects her.
But if this goes on for a long time, won't I become a burden to Yanbo?
"Mom, could you explain it more clearly?"
Although they had only been dating for a short time, Tong Xiaohuai felt that she would never be willing to let go of a man like Yan Bo.
Therefore, she couldn't let herself become a burden to him, nor could she let him get tired of or hate her.
In this respect, she always felt that her mother did a very good job.
To others, Tong Laoda was a very powerful and strong man, while Tong Ma was an excessively elegant woman who always gave people the feeling of being weak and fragile.
But Tong Xiaohuai knew that her mother's skill in using gentleness to overcome strength had long been perfected, which was why her father had basically listened to her every word for so many years.
Therefore, Tong Xiaohuai has always admired and worshipped her mother. In her eyes, her mother has always been a woman of great wisdom.
Unfortunately, she inherited more of her father's fierce and fiery nature. She only had an elegant appearance on the surface, but she couldn't even be called noble.
And in terms of inner qualities, I can't even learn one tenth of my mother's gentle and intelligent nature.
Tong's mother reached out and touched her head, asking her gently.
"Then tell Mom, what qualities do you think a boyfriend should have?"
Tong Xiaohuai thought for a moment, "I guess it's just about making me feel at ease."
Actually, there should be many more, but Tong Xiaohuai couldn't say for sure.
"Yes, the word 'peace of mind' seems simple, but it actually encompasses many things. First, he must be strong enough to protect you for you to feel at ease. Second, he must be loyal to you for you to feel at ease. Right?"
Tong Xiaohuai thought about it carefully. The sense of security she felt when he pulled her over and hugged her tightly after she came out of the noodle shop that night was indeed just as her mother had analyzed.
Subconsciously, she knew he was strong enough to protect her. At the same time, she also knew that no matter what happened to her, he would not abandon her or leave her. That's why she felt at ease.
"Yes, Mom, you're absolutely right!"
Tong's mother continued, "In my opinion, for many women, a competent boyfriend and husband is actually a father, husband, and son all at the same time. In him, you can feel the same kind of tolerance as a father, the mutual support and understanding between partners, and his dependence and trust in you."
Similarly, for many men, a good girlfriend or wife is a relationship that encompasses motherhood, wifehood, and daughterhood. When he encounters troubles, he needs your gentle listening and comfort; at this time, you are his loving mother. When he is in a normal state, he will stand by you through all kinds of social or family challenges; at this time, you are his beloved wife. When you are occasionally willful, he will treat you like a daughter, unconditionally spoiling and indulging you. Therefore, as a woman, it's okay to be a little harmless and willful occasionally, because most men actually enjoy this state of pampering their wives like daughters. Of course, this shouldn't be too frequent; once in a while is fun, but doing it often will make people tired of it.
Tong Xiaohuai stared wide-eyed at her mother. "Wow, there's so much to learn! It sounds exhausting!"
Tong's mother smiled and nodded. "You are our daughter, related to us by blood, but there's a lot to learn about how to get along with us. However, this knowledge doesn't need to be put into words. In your heart, there's always a yardstick constantly measuring and adjusting how to get along with us so that everyone is happy without crossing your bottom line. Isn't that right?"
Tong Xiaohuai thought about it carefully and realized that it was true, so she had no choice but to nod in agreement.
“Even with the blood ties between us, there are still so many concerns. Let alone with a complete stranger, someone who was originally unrelated to you, and you came together because of mutual attraction. If neither of you is prepared to compromise and tolerate each other, then your relationship will inevitably be difficult to last.”
Tong's mother's words made Tong Xiaohuai fall into deep thought.
Then, the more she thought about it, the more terrified she became.
"Mom, I feel like I've been taking his kindness for granted lately. Is that wrong?"
Tong's mother's words made Tong Xiaohuai reflect on himself, and this reflection made him break out in a cold sweat.
Tong's mother touched her face. "When a man first pursues a girl, he is very patient and very...doting...on you. But as time goes by, it's not enough for him to just...dote on you and indulge you. He also needs to feel your feelings for him. If you like him too, you would never take from him without giving anything in return. I think you are not that kind of person, unless you don't like him."
Tong Xiaohuai felt increasingly ashamed. "But it seems like I haven't done anything for him. On the contrary, he has done so much for me during this time."
“Fool, lovers don’t use a scale to measure each other’s contributions and demands. It’s just that during this period, you’ve been in a passive position with him. As for you, in my opinion as his mother, you must like him terribly, which is why you have this fear now.”
Regarding the issue of relationships between lovers, Tong Xiaohuai learned a lot and gained many insights from her mother's words. Of course, she still had many questions in her mind, but considering that her mother had traveled a long way, she did not dare to continue the conversation.
It was already 1 a.m. when Tong Xiaohuai said goodnight to her mother.
Soon, she heard her mother's even breathing; clearly, her mother was exhausted.
Tong Xiaohuai silently berated herself, realizing that she had been so focused on resolving her own doubts that she had forgotten how exhausted her mother was.
It seems that I am more used to being taken care of not only when I am with Yanbo, but also when I am with my parents.
But the truth is, as my parents get older, it's gradually time for me, their adult daughter, to take care of them.
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