The last time I talked to Yan Yiming about redeeming myself was several months ago, but the same thing happened now, both times I talked about it after meeting Jian Yuer.
So even if the male protagonists really have other people in their hearts, Jian Yuer's influence is still unquestionable.
The originally clear and lovely almond eyes, because of the makeup, now became extremely charming phoenix eyes, and added countless charms between the eyebrows. Yan Yiming broke free from Jian Yuyan's arms, turned around and said with regret, "But I still want to sing."
Jian Yuyan held her hand and said, "You can sing for me."
If I sing only for you, I am not an actor. Yan Yiming chuckled and raised his eyes to ask him, "What about after I redeem myself? Zi'an, will you take me back to the Prime Minister's Mansion?"
Jian Yuer couldn't even accept Ah Ming in the Plum Garden, so how could she allow Ah Ming to enter the Prime Minister's Mansion? Jian Yuyan was silent for a moment and said softly, "A Ming, the Prime Minister's Mansion has too many rules and it's not a good place to go. You can choose a place you like. You can write your name on the mansion. The maids in the mansion will serve you, and no one will restrain you. I will come here every day."
"What's the difference between that and being in the Plum Garden?" Yan Yiming put away his smile and looked at him with clear eyes. "Zi'an, you are so smart, don't you understand? I just want to know what it is."
Want a status.
Jian Yuyan knows everything.
But this is exactly what he cannot give.
"Someone told me at the beginning that Master Jian was of distinguished status and handsome. If I could redeem myself and follow Master Jian, even if I became his concubine, it would be a great blessing," Yan Yiming said slowly. "Zi'an, guess what I said at that time?"
Jian Yuyan's voice was a little hoarse, "What."
"I said that I would never be a concubine even if I were to be with a mediocre person in this life, even if that person is you." Yan Yiming smiled and glanced at the shocked Jian Yuyan, and then continued, "At the beginning, I told you that I was no longer a virgin, because I didn't want to give my true heart to you, but later I still gave it to you. At the beginning, I said that I didn't want to be a concubine no matter what, but after meeting you, I thought, even if I am a concubine, as long as it's you, I will always be willing."
"A Ming, it's not that I don't want to," Jian Yuyan said bitterly, "If possible, I would even like to marry you with three matchmakers and six betrothals."
"Why not?"
"You look too much like Yu'er. If people knew..."
"If people knew about this, it would definitely ruin your reputation and that of Miss Jian." Yan Yiming laughed at himself, "Are you afraid of ruining your reputation or Miss Jian's reputation?"
Jian Yuyan suddenly felt that he had nowhere to hide.
Yan Yiming sat in front of the bronze mirror and slowly took off the hairpins in her hair one by one. Her voice was sad and heartbroken.
"If others knew about this, it would ruin Miss Jian's reputation. But you never thought about what kind of reputation I would have if I followed you and was raised outside. You just felt that Miss Jian was wronged, but have you ever thought that I was the one who suffered the most? It's just because of my lowly status, I've been used to being looked down upon and wronged since I was a child, so you also think that it doesn't matter if I'm a little more wronged..."
Jian Yuyan wanted to say that this was not the case, but he had no idea how to refute it.
From the moment he fell in love with Jian Yuer, Jian Yuyan never cared about how others would view him. Now he didn't want others to know, just because Yuer didn't like it and didn't want to. He felt sorry for Yuer. If he hadn't fallen in love with her, Yuer wouldn't have been so scared.
But to Yan Yiming, she was an actress and was not on an equal footing with Jian Yuer from the very beginning.
She was of low status and was used to being looked down upon. She already had a bad reputation, so it didn't matter how bad it was. He always felt that he had given her everything, so she should be grateful and ask for nothing more.
"For those who have never been hurt, even the slightest scratch will not bear it, while for those who are used to being hurt, even if their skin is torn apart, they will not arouse the slightest sympathy." Yan Yiming smiled bitterly, tears running down his cheeks, ruining his makeup, and his voice was choked with sobs as he murmured,
"Everyone is like this, and so are you. You are just like them. In fact, you have never really looked up to me. How could I believe what you said and let you be at peace?"
How could I believe you?
Why did I call you Zi'an?
The hand holding the teacup suddenly seemed unsteady.
Jian Yuyan's heart ached hysterically when he heard Yan Yiming's words.
His relationship with Yan Yiming had a terrible start, a terrible beginning, a terrible process, but it had an unexpectedly good ending. Jian Yuyan was satisfied with everything Yan Yiming brought him, but he realized today that even though the ending was portrayed too well, the process was actually full of holes.
But he clearly loved her.
Apart from Jian Yuer, he had never loved anyone so much.
During this period, he even felt that he liked Yan Yiming more than Jian Yuer.
Jian Yuyan suddenly felt very confused. He really wanted to be good to her, wanted to be with her, wanted to hear her call him Zi'an. He always wore the jade pendant that Yan Yiming gave him. He obviously cared more about Yan Yiming, but why did he always only protect Jian Yuer?
It started raining outside. The sound of the rain was so loud that Yan Yiming's voice was still terribly clear in the rain.
"Miss Jian won't let me enter the Jian residence, and Miss Jian won't let me stay in the Plum Garden. If one day, Miss Jian won't even let me stay in the capital."
Jian Yuyan's heart suddenly jumped, because not long ago, Jian Yuer cried and begged him to send Yan Yiming away. He slowly spoke with a hoarse and uncertain voice, "Yuer... won't be so unreasonable."
"Even if she is unreasonable, you won't think it's unreasonable, just like you want me to leave Plum Garden for no reason." Yan Yiming laughed mockingly, and then said, "I won't leave Plum Garden. If I leave Plum Garden, I will be nothing, not even an actor. I can't compare to Miss Jian's status, but I am not shameful. If Master Jian also thinks I am shameful, then in the future... you don't have to come again..."
"A Ming!" Jian Yuyan shouted, how could she say such cruel words!
Yan Yiming was stopped by him and finally couldn't finish the sentence. She turned her head and looked at him, with endless despair and unwillingness in her eyes. She clenched her hands and tried her best to bite her teeth to prevent herself from crying.
"You know how lucky I was to have this face, and how much I hate it now." Tears fell from her eyes. "If I didn't look so much like her, I wouldn't have to lie to myself and say that you didn't say those words to me."
After saying that, Yan Yiming seemed to be unable to bear it any longer and went behind the screen. After a while, the little girl came out and said timidly to Jian Yuyan, "Master Jian... the young lady said that she will not serve you tonight, so you should go to the next room..."
Jian Yuyan ignored her and walked out of Yan Yiming's house. It was raining outside, soaking his cheeks and clothes. After a long time, Jian Yuyan suddenly laughed miserably.
Those words are really all for you.
If possible, I also hope that you and Yu'er don't look so similar.
Yan Yiming slowly washed off the makeup on her face, and unsatisfactorily looked at the bronze mirror to reduce the swelling of her eyes. Little Apple glanced at her from the window and reminded her, "Jian Yuyan left without an umbrella. It's raining."
"Let him get wet and sober up," Yan Yiming said without moving. "I can't tell what he really wants. This is true for his feelings and the throne. Since he can't make a choice, then force him to make a choice."
Little Apple was curious, "How?"
"You'll know when the time comes." Yan Yiming smiled and said, "By the way, do you have anything that won't hurt me?"
"It doesn't hurt you?"
"Well, something that doesn't feel any pain even if someone cuts it."
"No need, can't I just help you shut down your senses?"
"It can be done this way, it simply can't be better," Yan Yiming sighed, and immediately glanced outside at the boiled egg in his hand, and called the maid beside him to give Jian Yuyan an umbrella.
When Jian Yuyan was about to walk out of the plum garden, she was finally caught up by the girl, who said that Yan Yiming asked her to bring an umbrella over.
Jian Yuyan's eyes moved slightly. He turned around and looked in the direction where Yan Yiming lived for a long time. Then he clenched the umbrella in his hand and got on the carriage.
Jian Yu'er didn't sleep well that night, and her eyes were swollen from crying when she woke up in the morning. But when she got up, she heard that Jian Yuyan had returned to the Jian residence last night and didn't stay in the Plum Garden. She immediately felt relieved.
"real?"
"Really? The eldest young master is still at home right now."
Jian Yuer was extremely happy and quickly asked someone to dress up.
Why did my brother go there yesterday and come back? He said he would solve it. So he went to the Plum Garden yesterday just to solve the problem and not to live there?
Now that he's back, does that mean the problem has been solved?
Jian Yuer jumped up and down to find Jian Yuyan. When she entered Jian Yuyan's room, she smelled a faint smell of medicine. After going in, she found that Jian Yuyan did not look well today and his face was pale.
Jian Yuer stepped forward with some concern, "Brother, what happened?"
Jian Yuyan looked up and said without putting down the pen, "It's okay. I accidentally got caught in the rain last night."
After hearing this, Jian Yuer remembered that it seemed to have rained last night. Just then, the maid brought in the medicine. Jian Yuer took it and handed it to Jian Yuyan, saying casually, "Who told you to go to the plum garden? Since it's raining, that actor..."
At this point, Jian Yuyan's brows were furrowed. Jian Yuer opened her mouth and asked, "...What's wrong?"
"She has a name."
Jian Yuer's eyes suddenly widened. She thought that Jian Yuyan had finally made things clear with the actor, but her brother's tone was much more irritable than yesterday. He even hated to see someone say a bad thing about her. She found it hard to accept and said, "What does her name have to do with me..."
"She's the one I like, Yu'er, I don't like you calling her that."
Jian Yuer stared at Jian Yuyan in a daze. After a long while, she said unsurely, "Brother, you said you would handle this matter. How are you going to handle it..."
"I'll take her back home."
"……What……"
Jian Yuyan put down the pen in his hand, looked at Jian Yuer and said seriously, "There are many people in Meiyuan, and I don't want her to get close to others. I can't bear to keep her outside, and the maids in the mansion don't dare to gossip about Yuer, so it's safest to bring her back home."
Jian Yuer had never thought that Jian Yuyan would come up with such a plan after thinking about it all night. She was so shocked that she didn't even know what to say. Finally, she blurted out, "What if outsiders still find out?"
Jian Yuyan thought a lot yesterday. Now that he has thought it all through, he doesn’t think this matter is a big deal.
"I was selfish towards you at the beginning, so even if others knew about it, it would only hurt me and not you. Besides, the innocent are innocent. Besides, the rumors are not as horrible as you think, Yu'er. Young Master Jiang already knew about it but didn't say anything."
Jian Yuyan had never said it so clearly, and Jian Yuer had never been so desperate.
She felt that something important had really been snatched away by someone else this time.
She could never get it back.
Jian Yuer walked out of Jian Yuyan's study almost stiffly, in a daze, not knowing what to think or say.
She didn't dare tell her parents. After thinking for a long time, she finally remembered Jiang Yi. She lifted her skirt and was about to go out, but she ran into someone from the Prime Minister's Mansion who was delivering something.
The servant at the door asked what it was, and the girl said in a crisp voice that it was a painting that Mr. Jian gave to their girl, and the girl asked her to return it.
When Jian Yuer heard the word "girl", she suddenly stopped walking. She ordered someone to bring the painting and open it. Her already very bad face turned blue with anger.
She had seen this painting before, in Jian Yuyan's study.
At that time, she was still wondering why she had never seen the dress in the painting before, and how she accidentally got a red dot at the corner of her eye. Now, she suddenly understood everything.
The one Jian Yuyan painted wasn't her at all!
What he painted was basically that actor!
No wonder Jian Yuyan didn't give her the painting. No wonder Jian Yuyan looked so strange that day. Jian Yuer was shaking uncontrollably. Finally, she couldn't bear it anymore and handed the painting to the gatekeeper and went towards the Plum Garden.
The servant was confused by the painting and could only ask someone to inform Jian Yuyan.
After receiving the painting, Jian Yuyan was silent for a long time before asking him what the girl said.
"Nothing was said," the servant said. He looked up and saw Jian Yuyan looking at the painting carefully with a frown on his face. He thought that something was broken accidentally, so he hurriedly explained, "The young lady wanted to see the painting just now, and after seeing it, she threw it on the ground in anger. Maybe it was broken accidentally..."
Jian Yuyan raised his head instantly, "Where's Yu'er?"
"I don't know... The young lady got on the carriage and went east."
The pen in his hand fell on the snow-white paper, leaving a mottled mark. Regardless of his weak body, Jian Yuyan strode out of the study and rushed towards the plum garden.
"What if Miss Jian doesn't allow me to stay in the capital?"
"Yu'er is not that unreasonable."
The words he spoke to Yan Yiming yesterday were still ringing in his ears, but at this moment Jian Yuyan didn't dare to guarantee it. He left in a hurry and had never been so anxious before.
After crossing the long street and entering the plum garden, when he was about to arrive, Yan Yiming had been waiting for Jian Yuer for a long time.
When she saw this face again, the similar look still made Jian Yuer find it unbelievable. However, when she saw the room full of traces of Jian Yuyan, she lost her mind again.
She said she promised to give her a lot as long as she could leave the capital.
Yan Yiming raised his eyes and looked at her and smiled, "I won't leave."
"Why!"
"Because I love him," Yan Yiming looked into Jian Yuer's eyes and said with a smile, "Money is not as important as Zi'an."
"What... did you call him?" Jian Yuer's fingers were trembling.
"Zi'an, he asked me to call him that."
Zi'an is Jian Yuyan's pen name. Jian Yuyan asked her to call him Zi'an? Yan Yiming's deliberate guidance made her unable to suppress the anger that swept over her. When Jian Yuyan stepped into the courtyard, she heard Jian Yuer's sharp voice, "Why do you do that?"
"You will harm him," Jian Yu'er said in a trembling voice, "He will marry a wife, a daughter of a famous family in the capital. You will ruin his marriage. If others see you, he will be cursed by countless people. You should not appear in front of him. Your face should not be..."
Suddenly, Jian Yuer screamed. Jian Yuyan's heart suddenly trembled and he hurried over. The moment he stepped in, he saw the scene inside.
For the first time, Jian Yuyan lost his mind.
Yan Yiming held the hairpin in his hand, and his originally beautiful cheek was cut by the sharp golden hairpin. The blood slid down his cheek and dyed his snow-white face red. In an instant, only the glaring red was left in his eyes.
“Now, it’s no longer the same.”
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