It's another case of putting the blame on someone else.
Yan Shang thought that this was probably the most unpleasant experience he had after he started liking Mu Wan.
Even though the girl was gentle and beautiful, he was still tormented and wavering.
Mu Wanyao hugged Yan Shang from behind and saw that he had his head down. Even when she falsely accused him of abandoning her, he didn't say a word.
Yan Shang is indeed the type of man who rarely gets angry. It is common for other men to get angry, but Yan Shang's gentleness is the norm. When the two of them quarreled about children and marriage before, it was a rare time that Yan Shang really got angry.
And this time, although she hadn't been back to Chang'an for half a month, how could Mu Wanyao not have received the report from the Princess's Mansion? How could she not know that Yan Shang had returned to Chang'an ten days ago and had visited her at the Princess's Mansion, and that he probably knew that she had pretended to be sick to trick him back.
Plus what happened to him in Shuzhong.
He should be very angry, even angrier than last time. It was normal for him to be angry at her. So he said nothing now, which made Mu Wanyao feel that the matter was more serious.
When he acted like this, Mu Wanyao was terrified. She was afraid that he would face the reality, afraid that after thinking it over he would decide that they were not suitable for each other, afraid that he would not want her and want to separate from her.
Mu Wanyao was terrified, but as a princess who never had to please others, she really didn't know how to apologize with true sincerity. Mu Wanyao hugged his waist from behind, thinking that although he didn't say anything, he didn't push her away either.
She smiled and said, "After half a year in Shu, your shoulders have become much broader, but your waist is still this thin."
Yan Shang whispered, "Your Highness, let me get dressed first."
Mu Wanyao naturally refused to let him talk properly. She hugged him tightly and rubbed him, then kissed the back of his ear from behind. Her voice was soft and gentle: "Father's reward dinner, why don't you go? I see that you are going to sleep so early? How can you sleep so early?"
Yan Shang: "Why don't you go?"
Seeing that he was willing to talk to her, Mu Wan smiled. She still kissed him gently, saying, "If you don't go, why should I go? I wanted to see you in the first place.
"I haven't seen you for half a year, and you don't miss me at all. However, I miss you all the time, Second Brother Yan."
Yan Shang's heart softened.
He whispered, "I miss you, too."
Mu Wanyao was immediately delighted. She pulled him around to face her, and Yan Shang didn't resist much before she pulled his hand and turned him around.
Mu Wanyao changed her clothes. Unlike the layered skirts she wore when he saw her in the afternoon, she was now wearing a pink and white skirt with a high waist and long hem. The hem of her skirt was like a vigorous plum tree, clever and lively.
Behind Mu Wan was a table where books were originally placed. She jumped lightly on tiptoe and sat on the table, then pulled Yan Shang and asked him to come over a few steps.
She asked him to stand next to her. She swayed a few times without putting her feet on the ground, then put her arms around his neck so that he could lower his head so that she could kiss him.
She curled her fingers around his waist.
She raised her head and whispered to him, "I know you're angry that I pretended to be sick, but I did it so that you can come back sooner. I heard that you were assassinated in Shuzhong. If it wasn't too far away and I couldn't get there, I would definitely go to save you. You're so unsafe there, how can I watch you go into danger and not come back?"
Yan Shang lowered his eyes, staring at her with his dark eyes, as if judging her.
Mu Wan moved her lips to his neck, kissed him again, and said, "I asked someone to make you a cloak and a rabbit fur coat... You are from Lingnan, and you are more afraid of the cold in Chang'an than we are in winter. I prepared it for you early, so you will have a better life this year."
She tilted her head to think for a moment, then said distressedly, "But when I held you just now, I felt that you seemed to be thinner. It must be because the conditions in Shu are not good and you are not used to it. Do you want to eat more so that I can fatten you up, or do you want me to measure your size again and change the size of the clothes I made for you?"
Yan Shang was still stunned.
His cool fingers caressed her fair cheeks, and he saw her sitting on the table obediently, looking up for him to observe. He couldn't explain what he felt in his heart: "You actually... made clothes for me? You... never cared about me before."
Mu Wanyao was slightly shy: "I was ignorant before. Now I am learning how to take care of my husband. I have learned a lot from my fourth sister... Second brother Yan, after half a year, I have really become a lot better than before. I am not so arrogant and only care about myself anymore. I am learning to be considerate of you."
Yan Shang leaned down and hugged her.
Seeing that he was willing to hug her, Mu Wanyao was particularly happy. She turned her face to kiss him and touched his lips. He was disturbed by her breath, and it was the first time that he lost his mind when doing this with Mu Wanyao.
He looked at her with a complicated attitude.
A person's temperament is inevitably influenced by her experiences.
She is afraid to face the problem, but she would simply cut it off.
She would cling to him like a straw, yet she would also be very decisive in breaking off all ties.
She is bold and timid. She is willful and fragile. She is not stupid. Far from being stupid, she is actually very sharp. She tries to please him clumsily and so attentively. Her beautiful eyes look at him, just to tell him "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong, but please don't be angry".
Mu Wanyao's eyes were filled with a charming spring mood. Under her mischief, Yan Shang's already thin undershirt was messed up. She knew that he was also moved. After not seeing each other for so long, he couldn't help it. She smiled a little proudly, raised her neck, and took his hand to touch herself.
Yan Shang suddenly asked: "How deeply are you involved in this matter?"
Mu Wan was startled for a moment and looked up at him. She paused and answered obediently, "I didn't actually intervene, I just called you back."
Yan Shang's tense jaw relaxed slightly. He was afraid that she would get too involved. If she committed a serious crime, even if he protected her... it would be wrong.
Yan Shang continued, "Does the Ministry of Revenue really have close ties with Yizhou officials? Did they all accept tributes from the lower levels..."
Mu Wanyao was getting impatient: "Are you investigating a case? Are you interrogating me? Do you want to get some answer from me?"
Stop talking.
Mu Wanyao immediately realized that her attitude was wrong. She came to please Yan Shang, not to deepen the conflict with him. Mu Wanyao softened her attitude and said softly: "Can't we talk about feelings and love? If you want to investigate something, go and investigate it yourself. Don't ask me at this time, don't treat me with such suspicion at this time."
Yan Shang said: "I'm sorry. But, you really..."
She blocked his mouth and stopped him from speaking.
Spring love flows like water, and the moon shines brightly outside the window.
Mu Wanyao tried to guide Yan Shang to make the topic less tense. But he couldn't get into the mood. She endured it for a long time. The first time they spent together became like torture. He was reluctant, and she couldn't feel any happiness.
They are all enduring.
And this patience soon broke out.
At the critical moment, he pressed against his slightly open collar, and Mu Wanyao suddenly screamed, her whole body tensed up, and scared him. And immediately, Mu Wanyao pushed him away, making him step back two steps. He then grabbed her wrist and tried to hook her waist to check her, but Mu Wanyao slapped his arm with a "slap".
The corners of her eyes were filled with tears: "How dare you force yourself?"
She said without thinking, "It's okay that you're not good enough, but now you don't even have the slightest bit of gentleness. I haven't felt anything yet, and you're doing this to me? What do you think of me? A punishment, a hardship, a task? You just feel comfortable? Do you think I won't feel any pain?"
Yan Shang's face turned pale. It was the first time that someone had said so bluntly that he was poor. Sweat oozed from his forehead. Through the candlelight and the light from the window, he saw that her face was ugly and a little pale. He was scolded by her, and he didn't care about the discomfort of being suddenly pushed away by her. He immediately lowered his head to see where he hurt her.
Yan Shang hesitated: "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be like this. Did I hurt you? Are you injured? Let me see..."
Mu Wan shook: "Go away!"
She couldn't stand this atmosphere anymore, and she refused to let him touch her again. She jumped down from the table, straightened her clothes a little, and walked out with a cold face. Yan Shang quickly tied his belt and looked around for clothes to chase her.
Mu Wan walked halfway away and then came back, throwing something at Yan Shang.
But it doesn't hurt.
Yan Shang grabbed the thing she threw at him and looked down. It was an ugly purse. What was embroidered on it? Waterweed? Cockroaches? Or butterflies?
I'm afraid the purse his little sister embroidered when she was twelve years old was much more beautiful than this thing that was thrown at him.
Mu Wan's eyes were red and bright with anger. She spread out her ten fingers and shook them, saying angrily: "In order to embroider this purse for you, all ten of my fingers were almost broken. My hands were swollen for a month! When you were upright and noble, you were all in my heart!"
Yan Shang: “Shake…”
He grabbed his purse and hurriedly covered his loose collar. Mu Wanyao walked out again. He had too many things to say to her, so he chased after her and grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving.
If you know the problem clearly, you must speak it out! You must solve it!
Yan Shang spoke a little faster, fearing that she would leave: "The matter in Shuzhong is indeed closely related to the Ministry of Revenue, right? Do you want to protect them? Who do you want to protect? Since this matter was not ordered by you, you should not get involved anymore... Even if there are some losses, you are a princess after all. Your identity as a princess will not be damaged in the slightest..."
Mu Wanyao felt ridiculous being held down by him.
She said: "The manpower I lost, the power I lost, the resources and reputation I had worked so hard to build up...are they nothing?"
Yan Shang said sternly, "What does that have to do with you? I've reminded you before, told you many times before, it's not wrong to admire power, but you shouldn't indulge in it. Don't be stubborn and keep getting deeper and deeper into it! You..."
Mu Wan shook her head and stared at him.
She whispered: "Power is not important? But Yan Shang, if you don't have power, how can you be Princess Shang? How can I marry you?"
Yan Shang was stunned, not knowing why the topic turned to this direction.
She looked at him quietly, with tears still in her eyes, and a tired look in her eyes.
At this moment, Mu Wanyao no longer looked like a spoiled and willful princess. Instead, she exuded the indifference and despair of a superior.
She stared into his eyes: "Yan Shang, before you left Chang'an, you chased me for dozens of miles. What were you asking for? You asked me to reconcile with you, and you asked me to give you a deadline, so that you don't have to wait for me in vain, but don't know when you can be with me openly.
"I have remembered your words, and I have been trying to give you an answer. Without power, can I do this? If I lose my current position, will the Li family let me go, or will the prince let me go? What you ask for is the well-being of the people, your family, your country, and the world. What I ask for is to survive, to live gloriously and without coercion.
"I have always thought that as long as I have enough power to make the prince afraid and the Li family must rely on me, then I can make conditions to the Li family and tell everyone that I want Yan Shang to be my consort. Only when I have enough power and people can no longer look down on me, can I freely marry the person I want to marry and live the life I want."
A tear dropped from her eyes and splashed on Yan Shang's arm that was holding her.
His chest felt hard, and he could not continue to speak out his many accusations against her after hearing her tear.
Tears fell from Mu Wan's eyes, but her expression was stubborn and unyielding: "You have been gone for half a year, and I have been thinking very seriously about how long I can give you the deadline you want. I set a goal of two years. Within two years, I must marry you, and make sure that the Li family and the prince have no objection.
"If I don't rely on myself, how can I count on you? Yan Shang, you have never been willing to use public power for personal gain, so I can't count on you. I fell in love with a person who is dedicated to the public, and I don't blame you. This is the path I chose, and I will walk it myself. Now you say that my love for power is abnormal, and you want me to let go... Yan Shang, don't speak ill of others without experiencing their suffering. I'm not as good as you imagine, but I'm not unforgivable.
"You and I have different positions, and I don't want to do that. However, if you want to fight me, I will not retreat a single step, and I will not show any mercy.
"Yan Shang, when you came to me, I told you that if you are no longer useful to me, if you and I take different paths, I will kill you. Now...you and I will each rely on our own abilities."
She shook off his grip on her wrist and walked out. He chased her for two steps and stood at the door, but he only saw her sad back as she left. Yan Shang felt confused and a little sad. In this world, many things are not either this or that. If he wants to help some people, he has to hurt others.
He firmly believed that he was right.
But Mu Wanyao didn't choose to be his enemy for the sake of doing bad things. She did it to protect herself, so that...she could marry him one day without being questioned or abandoned.
-----
It rained in the second half of the night.
Yan Shang did not sleep all night, thinking about many things; Mu Wanyao also did not sleep all night, his eyes were red from staying up all night.
The one person who still couldn't sleep was Liu Wenzhi.
Liu Wenji sat alone in the dark room, pouring himself one cup after another. Since he began to control the Northern Yamen, he had spent less time in front of the emperor. Just like this night, he had time to hide in the room and drink alone.
The wine flowed down his abdomen, and his lower abdomen felt burning. What kept appearing in his mind was the scene in the evening when Chunhua was holding her child and smiling gracefully by the water.
Liu Wenzhi had a blank expression on his face.
Since entering the palace after being castrated, he has been busy with various affairs and dealing with various people. He makes himself extremely tired and extremely humble. Because only in this way can he forget Chunhua.
A year has passed.
He never thought about Chunhua once.
Not even once.
Only by not thinking about her could he survive. Only by not thinking about her could he convince himself.
But she showed up unexpectedly today, with a husband who loved her and a son who depended on her. She lived a happy life, with a smile as bright as the dew.
Liu Wenji was jealous and sad. He was now hiding in the darkness, holding his increasingly twisted heart, full of scars, and could only shed tears.
Why did she alone see herself like this?
Why did he let her see it? He wanted her to see that the man she loved had become a eunuch, and a eunuch with blood on his hands.
Did she want her to sympathize with him? To pity him?
God has made people fall in love, and it is natural that they should forget each other early. Why is sympathy the only thing left at the end?
He resented this fate and he was unwilling to accept it!
-----
Liu Wenji sat there all night, listening to the rain. The next morning, the rain stopped. Liu Wenji washed his face and knew that he was not fit to serve His Majesty. When he was about to ask for leave, the eunuch knocked on the door.
Liu Wenzhi let the person in tiredly.
The eunuch whispered in his ear: "Eunuch, Luo Xiu is dead."
Liu Wenji suddenly opened his eyes.
The eunuch smiled apologetically, "We didn't kill him. When we found him, he was lying in the water, swollen. We found him in the back hill of a young master's mansion... That young master helped us kill Luo Xiu, and said that Luo Xiu was drunk and fell into the water and drowned. If anyone investigates, that young master will testify for us."
Liu Wenzhi looked at it intently.
He looked at the eunuch's eyes and immediately understood: "... Is someone here to send a letter of surrender? Oh, scholars have always looked down on us, I wonder who is so foresighted?"
The eunuch said softly, "It's Zhao Jijiu."
Liu Wenji frowned, he had never heard of such a person. But Jijiu was just an insignificant noble official, so it was normal that he had never heard of him.
The eunuch said, "Mr. Zhao is coming to visit you, would you like to see him?"
A malicious, mocking smile appeared at the corner of Liu Wenzhi's lips.
He said in a gentle and nonchalant voice: "Yes! Of course I can't see you! Some scholars have come to seek refuge... There will be more in the future."
He looked down at his slender fingers, and could vaguely see the blood on his palms yesterday. The smile on his lips deepened, and his voice became softer and distorted: "Just wait and see, this is just the beginning. There will be more and more nobles who come to rely on me..."
Power, like a monster, seduces everyone and drags everyone to hell.
That ever-expanding ambition, that ever-increasingly reluctant-to-give-up power…Once you’ve tasted its goodness, who would be willing to give it up?
-----
Yan Shang, however, was determined to pull Mu Wanyao out of this.
Mu Wanyao was still in the imperial garden of Fanchuan, and Yan Shang came here again the next day to ask to see her. With the emperor present, Mu Wanyao couldn't argue with Yan Shang under the emperor's nose, so she had to let Yan Shang in.
But she let him in and ignored him.
In the charcoal-burning hall, Mu Wanyao leaned on the beauty couch, drinking one cup after another. Yan Shang sat beside her, talking to her in a low voice, advising her to drink less, or perhaps advising her on more things.
This is what Chunhua saw when she came in to meet the princess.
This made Chunhua feel dazed - it was as if she was still in the princess's mansion, where the princess was always angry and ignored Yan Erlang, and Yan Erlang always comforted the princess in a gentle voice.
In the evening, I lift my eyelids and see the spring flowers.
After the greetings, Chunhua took her seat. She was a little embarrassed. She was stunned for several times, but she finally mustered up the courage and said, "Your Highness, I have seen Liu Wenji."
Mu Wanyao stopped holding the wine bottle. She was a little confused after drinking, but she was still conscious and heard what Chunhua said. Mu Wanyao looked at Chunhua, and Yan Shang, who was sitting next to Mu Wanyao, also looked at her in a daze.
Chunhua held back the tears in her eyes.
She knew she shouldn't ask too much, but after seeing Liu Wenjie like that yesterday...she couldn't help but ask.
Chunhua didn't dare to show it in front of the King of Jin. She held it in until the princess came, and tears finally fell unexpectedly. She hurriedly wiped the tears from her eyes, but she cried more.
Chunhua's eyes were red, how could she not have resentment in her heart, and why didn't she blame anyone?
She trembled, "Your Highness... Didn't Your Highness promise me that you would take care of him? Why did he become a eunuch? Why doesn't he have a wife and children? Why is this happening?"
Mu Wan's hand holding the wine bottle was shaking slightly.
Her cheeks were tense and flushed from drunkenness, then slowly turned pale.
She had a splitting headache and felt irritated, but she endured it.
Mu Wan stretched out her hand and pushed Yan Shang’s arm. She frowned and endured her discomfort, and vaguely asked Yan Shang to get up: "You go and talk to her, you go and tell her what’s going on... You have a good temper, you go and talk to her on my behalf!"
Yan Shang sighed, and before leaving, he only told Xia Rong to keep an eye on Mu Wanyao and stop drinking.
Xia Rong was panicked, thinking to herself, how can I persuade Yan Erlang to do something he can't handle?
Sure enough, after she tried to persuade him, the princess drove her out of the hall to sit in the cold wind.
-----
When Yan Shang came back again, it was already two quarters past. The charcoal fire in the hall had gone out. He saw Mu Wan swaying on the table, her hand supporting her forehead. She seemed to be in great pain, knocking her forehead with her fingers.
When Yan Shang saw her like this, he felt angry and pity. He sat down and leaned over to look at her, but Mu Wanyao suddenly woke up and reached out to push him away.
Yan Shang was slightly annoyed: "Shake!"
Mu Wan turned to look at him and asked, "Is Chunhua gone?"
Yan Shang suppressed his worry for her and hummed softly: "I told her what happened, cried with her for a while, and persuaded her a little. Don't worry, when she left, I asked the maid to take her to wash her face, so that no one would know that she cried here."
Mu Wanyao said, "It's my place, not our place."
Yan hasn't spoken yet.
Mu Wanyao closed his eyes and laughed at himself: "I am so unlucky now. Everyone who has a problem comes to me to settle the score and ask for an explanation. It's as if I castrated Liu Wenji and went to Shuzhong to do evil. I should be torn into pieces by five horses and die as an apology, then you will be satisfied."
Yan Shang felt sad: "You are tearing my heart out when you say that. If I thought like that, why would I still be sitting here?"
Mu Wanyao: "I don't know why you are still sitting here! Shouldn't you go check the accounts, investigate, and think about how to bring me down? What are you doing here? Seeking sympathy? Seeking comfort?"
Yan Shang was silent for a moment.
He said: "I am now in the Ministry of Revenue, a marginal figure, and I have no access to anything. How can I check?"
Mu Wan shook his head sarcastically: "You really deserve it."
Yan Shang had been worried about this matter, and now he was exhausted. He said tiredly, "Can you please stop being like this? If there is a problem, we can solve it. You laugh at me in such a sarcastic way, but how can you feel comfortable and what benefit can you get from it?"
Mu Wanyao was silent for a while and said, "I thought that not killing you was a kindness to you. Yan Shang, you should know that if someone else touches my interests like this..."
Yan Shang said: "If it were someone else, I wouldn't be so constrained by it."
Muwan shook his guard.
She looked at him and he looked back at her.
Sitting next to her, the two of them looked outside the hall together.
Yan Shang said slowly: "I don't want to pursue too much, and I don't have that ability. What's important now is not to pursue whose crime, but to make amends. I am now sidelined by you, and I really can't find anything... Yaoyao, don't force me to investigate. I don't want everyone to die and no one will benefit. I need you to make compensation, to compensate the people in Shu.
"Although only the governor of Yizhou died among the officials in Shuzhong, I also hope that the other officials can be replaced. However, I have already made an agreement with those officials, and I cannot go back on my word. For things like this, only you can make up for it.
"Next year, in the spring examination, another group of new officials will enter the court. I hope you can make a promise to allow these officials to enter the court to fill the gap in Shuzhong."
Mu Wanyao said nothing.
Yan Shang gently held her hand. She trembled and struggled, but she did not let go. Yan Shang was stunned for a while and said, "Yaoyao, I know the reason you are like this is that you have never seen the real suffering of the people. The girl who can read "The Big Rat" with me and the girl who can say such words to Zhao Wuniang will never be a bad princess who takes human life lightly.
"You just haven't seen it, you just don't understand. Yaoyao, next spring, come with me and find a way to leave Chang'an. I must let you see what the real people are like... not what you imagine or read in books. When you see them, you will understand why I stand on their side."
Mu Wan turned her head and looked at him quietly.
She suddenly brought up a topic that was totally unrelated to the topic: "I have prepared a coming-of-age ceremony for you and asked your teacher to crown you. It will be in a few days."
Yan Shang was stunned for a moment: "My coming-of-age ceremony?"
Mu Wan shook his lips with a hint of self-deprecating smile.
She lowered her eyes and said, "Your heart is with the people and the world. But I only have you in my heart."
She looked at the cloudless sky outside the hall and whispered, "I am too small, too pathetic, and too funny, am I not?
"I've always been so small and pathetic and made you laugh, haven't I?"
Yan Shang looked at her in shock, he stretched out his arms and held the half-drunk girl in his arms. This time, regardless of her struggle, he held her tightly, his hot heart pressed against her cold body.
As if swearing, he whispered in her ear: "I will watch you. I will definitely watch you.
"I won't let you go astray. I will definitely hold you by my side."
-----
After Yan Shang coaxed Mu Wan to sleep, he left Fanchuan. He went to the Ministry of Revenue and left soon. Because now he was sidelined in the Ministry of Revenue, there was really nothing he could do. The Ministry of Revenue was wary of him, and he had nothing to do all day, so he might as well leave.
But this doesn't mean Yan Shang can relax a little.
There is the latest news in the court: Luo Xiu is dead.
Yan Shang, who had been responsible for investigating the people behind Luo Xiu, suddenly became alert: Luo Xiu's death could not possibly be an accident.
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