Chapter 30 Why didn't I kiss her if I wanted to?
Although he said this, he didn't act too much physically. Hua Lang accepted everything Zhan Yunmei brought him—pleasure, pain, shame, and everything else—and he swallowed it all.
He was in a daze, as if a large veil had been draped over his mind. He could barely hear any sound, only the sound of her affectionate coaxing in his ears.
He loved it when she coaxed him; whenever that happened, his heart would beat more intensely.
He liked her so much, so much, so much.
Even though she teases and plays with him every day, he still likes it, and he likes it very, very much.
I don't know when my consciousness disappeared, nor when I closed my eyes because I was too tired.
When Hua Lang opened her eyes again, her whole body ached, felt swollen and numb. She gently turned over, hugged the blanket to her chest, and curled up.
The area around the tatami mat had cooled down and was empty; only the wrinkles on the pillow, which hadn't fully healed, proved that someone had slept there.
Fortunately, the comforting scent of Zhan Yunmei still lingered by the bedside, and with that scent, Hua Lang closed her eyes again.
Let me sleep a little longer, just a little longer, I'll sleep until noon to eat, and then I'll just get by in the afternoon. Zhan Yunmei will be back in the night.
He wasn't sure when he started to feel dependent on Zhan Yunmei. Sometimes he found it strange that he had become dependent on this strong yet gentle person. It was just too... weird.
The feeling of dependence is terrifying, often causing anxiety, yet it also makes one hopelessly addicted.
Hua Lang's eyelids grew heavy, and he fell asleep.
When Hua Lang woke up again, it was already noon. He was still lying on the couch in the main room when he could smell the aroma of food coming from the main hall.
If Zhan Yunmei bullied him too much, she would arrange his meals for the next day to make up for it.
With a faint sense of anticipation, Hua Lang got out of bed and took a few steps. Suddenly, she felt a cold, sticky sensation in the swollen area.
Zhan Yunmei had long ago specially sought out a prescription to reduce swelling and pain and nourish the body, but he found it troublesome and often didn't apply the medicine at all. This time, she applied it for him.
Hua Lang's cheeks suddenly flushed red, and she raised her hand to touch her face.
“…Eunuch Hua Lang?” Yao Shuniang handed over the bowl and chopsticks, but Hua Lang was stunned, lost in thought. The wind and snow outside were heavy, and the food would get cold easily, so she reminded him.
Hua Lang slowly came back to his senses, his gaze sweeping calmly around the lobby.
Unconsciously, her lips curved slightly into a smile.
That's good, there's no other servant here, he's all alone.
Hua Lang ate his meal slowly. After finishing, he went to the flower hall and sat down to trim the withered leaves of several flowers that were about to be frozen to death by the snow.
A few of the flowers were from autumn, and they unexpectedly made it to winter this year. However, the snow was too heavy and the weather too cold, so they couldn't survive. After cutting off the withered leaves, they can only hope for the best.
One of the withered leaves was about half the size of a palm. It was cut off and left whole, with clear veins. It was decaying yet vibrant. Hua Lang stared at it.
Suddenly I remembered that Zhan Yunmei would occasionally read some books, but she could never finish reading them all at once, and she often couldn't find the page number from the previous reading when she tried to read them again.
Hua Lang picked up a withered leaf, and with his other hand, he stroked the wolf fang pressed against his chest through his collar.
In the afternoon, after arranging the affairs of the manor, Hua Lang went to the main house and stayed there for the entire afternoon.
.
In winter, epidemics are prone to occur, and all departments of the imperial court are busy taking out the grain that has been prepared in advance and distributing it to people in various places to provide relief to the people.
Zhan Yunmei was to cooperate with the imperial court in dispatching troops to help transport food and medicine.
The emperor, who sat for long periods and did little exercise, gradually lost his health since ascending the throne. He was sensitive to both cold and heat, and even before the heavy snow arrived, he was already wearing a cloak and a padded coat, and a charcoal fire was lit.
The Chaotian Palace was stuffy and hot; even after taking off her cloak, Zhan Yunmei still felt hot.
"Minister Zhan," the emperor said from the inner palace.
Zhan Yunmei lifted her robe and entered, kneeling behind the openwork folding fan. "Your subject is here."
"The snow this year is too heavy, and the people down here are having a hard time. Keep a close eye on the situation in the capital region, and if necessary, lead people out to provide relief."
"Your Majesty, I have remembered." "Hmm," the emperor put down his pen, walked to the charcoal stove, added charcoal and fueled the fire, "Now go and see how things are going, thank you for your hard work."
Zhan Yunmei originally wanted to return to the manor as soon as possible. She thought it would be comforting to hold Hualang in the cold weather, but she could not disobey the imperial order, so she nodded in agreement.
After completing the inspection tour and returning to Beijing, I drove back to my residence. It was past midnight, and the sky was completely dark, with only the biting wind and snow.
Zhan Yunmei tugged at the fur collar on her shoulder. With her attendant holding an umbrella, she waved and stepped into the mansion through the wind and snow. The lanterns on both sides were stirred by the breeze as she walked.
Yao Shuniang was annoyed that the servant wasn't holding an umbrella, leaving the general soaked in the snow. She went up to him with an umbrella, but the general shook his head, indicating that he didn't need one.
She stopped and watched Zhan Yunmei stride into the lobby.
The cold snow was kept outside the lobby door.
Inside the hall, a gaunt man slumped over a table, his loose nightgown hanging to the ground, his cloak about to slip off his shoulders.
Before she could slip off his thin shoulders, Zhan Yunmei caught him quickly and gently poked his face, "Hua Lang, wake up."
Hua Lang's stamina wasn't good enough, and he had been through some rough times, so he spent most of the day sleeping.
As I groggily opened my eyes, Zhan Yunmei's figure became clearer and clearer.
Seeing Zhan Yunmei as soon as she opened her eyes was a wonderful thing. Before Hua Lang's consciousness had returned, she subconsciously moved forward, put her arms around Zhan Yunmei's waist, and hugged her.
He closed his eyes in her arms and murmured softly as he nuzzled against her.
But his first sensation was the chill she brought from outside, which made him feel uneasy, so he let go of her hand.
At the same time, he was clear-headed, but there was no trace of him actively rubbing against her.
Hua Lang rubbed his eyes, somewhat complaining, "Why so late... disturbing people's rest."
"Didn't you get enough sleep during the day?" Zhan Yunmei loosened the sash of her outer robe. There was charcoal burning in the room, so she wouldn't be cold even after taking off her robe.
She grasped Hua Lang's hand; his hand was stiff and cold in the winter, his knuckles red from the cold.
She drew it to her lips and kissed his hand.
Hua Lang could no longer hide the joy in his eyes. Afraid that Zhan Yunmei would catch it and tease him again, he quickly lowered his eyes to conceal his joy and delight.
Zhan Yunmei had already noticed that from the moment she held his hand, he seemed to have an invisible tail, wagging it back and forth to express his happiness.
Hmm...
If only he had a tail, it would wag whenever he made a sound, it would be so cute on him.
He's easily agitated, and when he gets all worked up, his tail might wag even harder.
Hua Lang was unsure what Zhan Yunmei was thinking. Her gaze was indifferent, and he wondered if she was dissatisfied because he hadn't given her a proper response.
He stepped forward and hooked his arm around her neck. She looked up and glanced at his face.
Hua Lang pursed her lips, turned her face away as if secretly encouraging herself, then turned back and brought her head closer.
He was only half a finger's distance from Zhan Yunmei's lips, and he wanted to wait for her prompting.
What if she doesn't want to kiss him...
She had done nothing before.
At this moment, Zhan Yunmei suddenly pushed Hua Lang away.
Hua Lang looked gloomy.
Tears welled up in her eyes, swirling around them.
Anxiety, doubt.
He regretted it; he shouldn't have let his pride get the better of him that day, and should have taken matters into his own hands to let her have her fill. He also regretted saying things like "I hate you" and "I hate her," because even if she wasn't angry then, it didn't mean she wouldn't be angry later.
Hua Lang clutched the bedding tightly and curled up on the couch.
I don't know how long this went on.
After Zhan Yunmei came out of the bath, Hua Lang was all alone curled up on the couch, not even bothering to cover herself with a blanket.
He walked over, reached his hands behind her back, and hugged Hua Lang.
Hua Lang felt a tightness and warmth on his back, and he immediately grabbed the hand around his waist as if he were clutching some hope.
"Hua Lang, smile," Zhan Yunmei said from his side. She noticed his gloomy and melancholy expression; she rarely saw him smile.
Hua Lang forced a smile, a smile that was neither genuine nor fake.
"Tsk," Zhan Yunmei clicked her tongue lightly, her expression conveying dissatisfaction, but she didn't seem too annoyed.
Hua Lang was still startled and trembled, glancing at her timidly.
“Turn around,” she commanded.
He frowned, turned around, and faced her. Under her gaze, he always felt a burning heat throughout his body.
“Hold me,” Zhan Yunmei continued to command.
Hua Lang was investigating, but failed to act in time.
He never believed he could gain true love, nor did he dare to rely on it completely; these things were too fragile for him to entrust his heart to.
He couldn't speak, and he wouldn't say intimate words like Zhan Yunmei did; he was afraid that speaking them would be a defilement.
Playing with a eunuch and accepting his affections are two different things.
So, it's best to keep quiet and just do what she wants...
Hua Lang knelt between Zhan Yunmei's legs, hugged her waist, glanced at her again, and with her consent, nestled in her arms.
Warm, solid, powerful.
Looking down at Hua Lang, Zhan Yunmei saw a completely obedient Hua Lang in her eyes. She couldn't help but run her fingers through his hair and gently stroke it.
Top of the head, sides of the forehead, cheeks, through the hair on the shoulders, the outer side of the upper arm, the inner arm, and draped over the waist.
It's winding and graceful, but unfortunately the bones are hard to cut into.
"Eat more, it'll be more comfortable to hold you if you're a little fatter," Zhan Yunmei said gently.
“…I understand,” Hua Lang unconsciously shrugged, feeling a tingling sensation on his tailbone as he was stroked, and he unconsciously let out a soft gasp.
He was sometimes obedient and well-behaved. For example, right now, he didn't move around and nestled quietly against her, his clothes were not disheveled and not a single strand of his hair was messy.
Sometimes, however, they are disobedient, stubbornly so, and their mouths are like iron, impossible to break or pry open.
Zhan Yunmei likes both types of Hualang.
When she came to her senses, she had already pinned him down on the bed, looked down at his parted lips, and watched him panting heavily.
She pried open his lips with her fingers, but only lingered at the edge, deliberately leaving them untouched.
"Why don't you kiss me if you want to?" Zhan Yunmei smiled warmly, as if she wasn't the one bullying her.
What should Hua Lang say? He didn't know, or perhaps he knew what he should say, but he didn't dare.
The sobbing gradually turned into weeping.
The fingertips scraped against the inside of the lips.
"Ugh..." Hua Lang's eyes couldn't hold back her tears, and a hot drop slid down from the corner of her eye.
"Can't you say it?"
Hua Lang groaned, his whole body trembling, clutching the blankets tightly, his fingertips turning white.
Zhan Yunmei withdrew her hand, and Hua Lang was finally able to catch his breath. She glanced at his chest, which was heaving rapidly with each breath.
His expression remained unchanged; he seemed indifferent.
Hua Lang not only felt gloomy, but also felt like she was about to shatter.
He was afraid she would really be angry with him.
If she loses interest even in his body, what can he possibly offer her to attract her?
He crawled towards her on one knee, took her hand, and guided it, "General, I...I want to, is that alright?"
"Do you want to kiss me, or what?" Zhan Yunmei asked, going along with his question.
Hua Lang felt dizzy again, and his face was burning hot like charcoal in a furnace.
She wasn't ignorant, but she insisted on forcing him to speak.
But he didn't dare.
Does he have no shame and want her to sleep with him?
Hua Lang lowered his head, leaning against Zhan Yunmei's chest, his palms together, his fingertips playing with three of her fingers, repeatedly scraping and rubbing them.
With her other free hand, Zhan Yunmei pulled out the wolf tooth that was attached to Hua Lang's chest and put it in his mouth, saying, "Keep it in your mouth."
He didn't understand why, but he obediently put it in his mouth.
There was nothing else to it, she just liked seeing him like that.
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Author's Note: My nutrient solution levels are rising so fast, thank you everyone! I'll try my best to make up for the bonus chapter tomorrow [please!]
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