Chapter 1313 My Voice
"sorry."
"...You don't need to apologize. I was too impulsive." Yamaubakiri walked beside me, his eyes fixed on the road. "You really shouldn't take scumbags' words seriously. And if I do something, you'll be the one in trouble."
As tsukumogami, their conditions for operating in the human world are that they cannot attack ordinary people unless absolutely necessary or under special circumstances. If I were caught up in a fight between esperians or myself in danger, it would be fine, but based on that unbridled accusation, if Yamaubakiri, as a swordsman, were to take action, even if it was just a punch, he would face severe punishment.
So I left, and after some sarcastic remarks, I ignored my biological father who was still arguing and begging, and walked straight out the door.
No one stopped me.
Probably because the short young man wearing a top hat started talking nonsense about my cheap dad, he stopped his men and watched the show leisurely from the side.
When he passed by me, he glanced at me and smiled: "You are young, but you are quite brave. Go home quickly."
This guy is quite kind, isn't he?
Another reason is because of what Mr. Kunikida said—
"The Armed Detective Agency has been commissioned to locate Hongo Tatsuya and protect Jiu Jingyan from harassment by other forces. It's fine if you bring people with you, but if you set your sights on that girl, that's another matter."
"I'm sorry for letting you hear something bad."
I didn't expect Mr. Kunikida, the stern-faced man who was so formal in both his work and his attire, to actually apologize. But actually, I've been pretty calm up until now, so calm that I even wonder how I could be so calm. Is this what they call "no hope, no disappointment"? After all, the man named Hongo Tatsuya and I haven't been close or lived together since we were kids, so we don't have any feelings for each other. Rather, I'm really furious because he slandered my aunt!
...Should I have punched him? If Yamaubakiri didn't do it, I could have. Oops, I regret this.
By the way, speaking of family and affection...
"Um, Yamaubakiri?"
"Yes, what's wrong?"
"Don't tell anyone else what happened today."
As a result, Yamaubakiri suddenly stopped, I slowed down for half a step, and subconsciously raised my head.
He frowned, his face full of reluctance: "Why?"
"Hmm...how should I put it, everyone takes me seriously, right?"
"Of course."
"That's why I can't tell you. Otherwise, would I have come all the way to the real world to beat him up?"
"That won't work either. The other three saw you and me go out together after you got the call. And Yaoyan has heard that guy say those dirty words before. He would definitely guess it even if we didn't say it."
Um? !
"Wait, wait, that's not what I meant. I meant don't tell anyone about his insults against me and my aunt!"
"...I don't understand what you mean."
I scratched my head. "It means reporting what needs to be reported truthfully, but omitting the content. For example, if you and Hasebe had an argument and told me about it, but didn't tell me what was said. Do you understand?"
“Hmm…”
"Because it was the same before. Every time everyone knew about my father's accusations against me, they would be very angry. But when I was going through that, no one could do anything or even be by my side. In the end, I just kept the anger bottled up inside, and then..."
"We are swords, and we cannot get angry and hurt ourselves."
Damn! I know! But it's annoying to remember this every time. Why should I keep recalling his disgusting words over and over again for some insignificant jerk?!
"Anyway, I won't have anything to do with the Hongo family anymore, and..." I cracked my knuckles silently, "I really regret not punching him just now. The more you scold him, the more I regret it. Please don't make me regret it."
"……puff!"
"Don't laugh! Is it weird to want to hit your own dad?!"
"No, Lord, it's just... okay, I get it."
Yamaubakiri's expression changed, and I saw those emerald green eyes begin to shine, and I quickly took a step back.
"Wow, hearing me called 'Master' is actually a little strange."
"ha?!"
"Just kidding! Let's go back quickly."
Whether it was the banter with Yamaubakiri or answering questions from other swordsmen when I got home, I felt that I was in control of my emotions very well and no one noticed anything.
Everything is normal, as it should be.
But I always had a strange feeling, I couldn’t tell what it was. My heart was empty and my whole body was light. When I talked to others, I always felt like there was a layer of gauze between us. This strange, semi-trance-like state did not ease until after dinner.
"I'm going out to buy some things and take a walk."
It just so happens that I have finished all the snacks at home, so I went out for some fresh air and bought some sweet or high-calorie food. Maybe that would be good.
The setting sun dyed the sky orange. My neighborhood was incredibly quiet. Whether it was dinnertime or any other time of day, the streets were always deserted, yet every yard was immaculately clean. During long holidays, I'd occasionally see children playing online games together on picnic blankets spread out in front of their homes.
Suddenly I feel like swinging.
The small park was deserted, with no one there, and the sand a mess. Perhaps everyone had gone home for dinner. I took the opportunity to sit on the swings, which were usually the most popular, and started swinging around the park alone.
There were pink clouds floating in the sky, and those closer to the sun were orange and red.
The chain made a shrill, almost piercing creaking sound, and if I shook it harder, the sound would get louder, like the quacking of a duck.
Trying to block the creaking noise out of my head, I straightened my legs, held on to the swing chain tightly, and swung higher and higher.
The windows of the houses not far away appeared before my eyes, then were blocked by the wall. The wind blew against my face, messing my hair. As I fell from the highest point, I could even see my long red hair flying.
The orange sky grew darker and darker, and the warm-toned clouds gradually turned into cool colors.
Under the blue sky, a few stars are clearly visible.
Well, once today's over, the whole thing will be settled. Speaking of which, am I done with the Hongo family now? Should I go back and give Auntie a call?
Did Auntie really lie to me?
Thinking of this, I suddenly put down my feet and braked hard, stopping the swing that was swinging high up.
There was a very sharp "crack" sound in my ears. At that moment, I even wanted to jump off the swing and remove the annoying chain!
I was in the delivery room the day the fire broke out, and all the doctors and nurses except my mother died.
The sanatorium funded and built by the Hongo family has top-notch fire protection and security measures, so there is no reason for a major fire to occur.
I remember myself as a very weak person, always having trouble breathing, running high fevers, and coughing up blood as a child. But when I asked the adults about the causes of my illnesses as an adult, they couldn't explain them. And since I went to Honmaru to serve as a Shinsengumi, my health has been getting better and better.
And the government of time found me just after the fire in the sanatorium.
No, no, no, Tatsuya Hongo is a cowardly scumbag. He might say anything. Maybe he is lying to you!
“…”
But I still care about it. Recalling every little detail of the past, I gripped the swing rope tightly, lowered my head and poked the sand with my feet.
After poking a few times, a lot of sand got into my shoes, but I didn't want to stand up.
I feel... so tired.
I really want to talk to Toushirou.
"What are you doing sitting here alone?"
Eh? Am I crazy with lovesickness? How come I heard—that's not right!
Following the sound, I suddenly raised my head and saw that familiar silver hair at the entrance of the park.
The setting sun stretched his shadow very long. Even though he was facing the light, I could imagine that he must have frowned at this moment, with an expression that looked a little serious and much more mature than his peers.
Speaking of which, although they both have green eyes, Yamaubakiri's eyes are emerald blue, while his are darker. Against the light, they look like pine and cypress in winter, giving a cold feeling.
"What are you daydreaming about?"
"Ah, just...why are you..." Why are you here?
Dong Shilang had already walked to the swing. He looked down at me who was still sitting there and sighed, "You didn't reply to my calls and texts, so I was worried and came to check on you. But that blond guy told me you were out."
Turns out it was... Oh, come to think of it, I did seem to forget to bring my cell phone when I went out to meet the people from the detective agency.
"I forgot to take my phone when I went out this afternoon...I'm sorry."
Although he apologized, his expression did not relax. "What's wrong?"
What's wrong?
"……I……"
A strange sound came from my throat, my eyes became blurred, and tears suddenly welled up.
I wanted to say a lot of things, but my mouth was completely out of control and I could only make strange syllables.
"Uh...I..."
I must look very ugly now.
The feeling that everything seemed to be covered by a layer of fog disappeared, and was replaced by a feeling as if my internal organs were being twisted. I even felt like vomiting.
I really want to scream and smash something. I'm so disgusted and upset. Why can't I control my emotions?
Did my mother really die because of me?
Who am I?
I lowered my head and tried to wipe my tears with my hands, but Toushirou suddenly squatted down.
Wiped away the tears that blocked my vision.
He didn't frown or smile, but looked at me very seriously, into my eyes.
By the time I calmed down again, I was already sitting on a park bench. My senses and memories of those few minutes were hazy, and I only remember crying loudly and tears streaming down my face.
And Toshiro just hugged me gently without saying anything.
"Calm down?"
"Um..." I took the drink he bought from the vending machine, "I actually went to see my father today."
"so."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not crying because of him."
The tears have dried up, but my eyes are sore and swollen. I guess they are swollen from crying.
"He said I was the one who killed my mother."
The water freshly taken out of the vending machine was ice-cold, which relieved the swelling and pain in my temples a lot, and my mood became more relaxed.
"Actually, I don't believe it, but before, when I saw Auntie and Sanlang together, I was also envious."
I envy Sanlang for having a mother.
"Just now I was a little... ahem... a little irrational, thinking about what I would do if I really was the one who killed my mother."
Does my aunt know about this? If I really am a monster, if I really have strange powers, and if I really killed the gentle sister she mentioned, would she be afraid? Would she hate me?
And my mother, will she...will she regret giving birth to me?
The park was quiet, and in the distance cars made a strange murmur as they passed through the streets.
"My eyes are all swollen from crying. I wonder if everyone will worry about me when I get back later?"
"I don't think so."
"Huh?"
Dong Shilang sat next to me, his phone in hand, and leaned back slightly. "That blond Tsukumogami told me at the door just now that you were distracted when you left. He said you might still be a little sad, and he wanted me to come to the park to look for you."
Yamaubakiri...
"Isn't that your valet sword?"
"Well, Yamaubakiri Kunihiro is my first sword." He is also the family member who has been with me the longest.
"Now that he has said so, it is impossible for others not to feel it. But swords will always stay with their masters no matter what happens. Unless you abandon them yourself."
“…”
"Also, what that guy said might not be true. So if you want to know the truth, you have to investigate it yourself. Listening to only one side might not be accurate."
That is indeed the case.
"...I always feel like I'm being taught a lesson by you."
"Well, it would be best if you could listen to me."
I was amused by his answer of climbing up the pole, and the remaining depression in my heart disappeared.
"Then can you walk with me outside until the swelling in your eyes goes away?"
"sure."
After saying that, Dong Shilang stood up and stretched out his hand to me: "Let's go, where do you want to go?"
The author has something to say:
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It's like this, Yan really doesn't have any feelings for her stepfather, because they didn't live together since childhood, and the filter is almost shattered. She is sad and concerned about the affairs of her mother, because it concerns her own relatives.
As for the question about her background... Hey! (Hey
It feels like everyone hasn't seen Bleach fanfiction for a long time. I wonder if there will be new friends producing it after Blood War is broadcast this year (rubbing hands)
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