Chapter 119 If, and if

The person in her arms lost his temper, even his former perfunctory attitude was gone.

Lin Du lowered his eyes like a walking corpse. He pushed Gu Nichi away and walked out in a daze. He wanted to know who had murdered Qin Chang.

"Where are you going?" Gu Yanchi pulled Lin Du, his voice trembling uncontrollably, "I'll go with you."

Lin Du pushed him away, not wanting to even glance at him.

Arriving at the Criminal Police Brigade, Lin Du looked at the small box in front of him and was hesitant to open it.

"These are the victim's relics." The detective sighed.

"Who is it?" Lin Du's eyes were swollen from crying, and they were dry and painful.

"According to the clues, we found out that it was the boyfriend of the deceased. He was addicted to drugs and introduced the victim to a wealthy businessman as a ..." The criminal police paused and did not say the sensitive words, for fear of irritating Lin Du.

"The victim had been sexually abused by a wealthy businessman for a long time. This time, the victim's boyfriend had a drug addiction attack and hallucinated, causing him to torture the victim for several hours..."

Lin Du clutched the corner of his clothes, and his breathing became disordered.

He remembered that Qin Chang had told him before that the old man often used some special tools on him, and he asked him if it hurt.

He even joked at the time that it didn't hurt.

Lin Du bit his lip fiercely. For the first time in his life, he hated someone so much: "Will they be sentenced to death?"

"We have to wait for the results of the subsequent trial. I can't give you an answer now."

"Why do we have to wait? They were the ones who killed Qin Chang. Why do we have to wait?" Lin Du was extremely emotional. He didn't understand.

"People have been tortured to death by them, why should we wait..."

Lin Du covered his face, pain spreading from the bottom of his heart. It felt like his heart was being tightly grasped by a pair of invisible hands, making it almost impossible for him to bear this kind of pain.

That feeling of despair was like a sharp knife, piercing deep into his heart.

Gu Nishi's brows were furrowed with distress, but the hand he stretched out did not fall on Lin Du's shoulder.

The detective comforted him: "Don't worry, we will definitely give justice to the victim."

His fingertips twitched as Lin Du held the small box in front of him in his arms. He held it tightly, as if he was hugging Qin Chang who would never come back.

Gu Nichi stood at one side. He looked at Lin Du's twitching shoulders and felt so distressed as if his heart was being pressed by a heavy weight, making it hard to breathe and impossible to calm down.

Lin Du stood up with difficulty. Gu Nichi walked over to support him, but was dissuaded by Lin Du's disgusted look.

The detective paused for a moment, then reached out to help Lin Du up.

"Thank you." Lin Du nodded to the criminal police, turned around and glanced coldly at Gu Yanchi who was blocking his way.

Gu lowered his eyebrows and took a step back.

After returning home, Lin Du was alone, holding Qin Chang's relics, in a daze.

Gu Nichi walked over, feeling a severe pain in his chest. He couldn't help but wonder, if something happened to him one day, would Lin Du feel sad for him?

"You have a good rest, I will help you settle Qin Chang." Gu Yinchi stretched out his hand to touch Lin Du's face, but in the end he didn't.

Gu Niechi sighed softly. Although he was reluctant, he also knew that Lin Du didn't want to see him at the moment.

"Disappointing."

"I'm here." Gu Yanchi returned to Lin Du without hesitation, "You talk, I'm listening."

Lin Du slowly raised his eyes, his tone full of pleading, "I want to see the murderer!"

Gu Yanchi paused: "You want to meet Qin Chang's boyfriend?"

"He's not! He doesn't deserve it!" Lin Du's emotions suddenly lost control, "He is a murderer!"

Gu Yanchi supported Lin Du's shoulders and tried to comfort him: "Okay, he is the murderer. I will make the arrangements. You just listen and don't get excited."

Lin Du pinched his fingers tightly and nodded solemnly: "Thank you, I will protect the child, thank you for helping me."

Gu Xinchi's heart tightened and his body trembled uncontrollably.

He raised the corners of his mouth bitterly. So no matter what he did now, in Lin Du's heart it was all for the children.

With his mouth slightly opened, he finally swallowed everything. Gu Xinchi realized that it was too late.

After Gu Nishi left, Lin Du opened the box in his arms, and what caught his eye was a letter.

The suicide note was so heavy that Lin Du tried several times to pick it up.

Lindu, my dear baby, when you see this letter, I may no longer be here.

I didn't want to leave you with such heavy memories, but I couldn't bear to leave you.

I don't have much attachment to this world, but you are my only concern.

Baby, I came into this world broken, and I may leave this world broken as well.

Sometimes I can’t figure out what I did wrong to have to endure so much pain.

It wasn't until I met you that I suddenly realized it.

A person's life is destined.

I should have spent the rest of my life in freedom, but I was craving for warmth.

I exposed myself to the devil and gave him the upper hand over me.

I don't want to go to prison. I don't want to be trapped in a cage for the rest of my life, but I have to walk into the cage of my own making.

In my life, I have been displaced and helpless, and you are my only hope and concern.

But, baby, how can I tell you that Gu Yanchi is not sincere to you.

He is entangled with Su Wenlang, which is harmful to you.

I want to tell you, but I'm afraid you can't bear the blow.

Baby, you have been living for others all your life, are you tired?

Baby, don’t feel sad for me, because I will be worried if I see you in heaven.

Death may not be the only relief, but it is the most complete relief.

I'm not afraid of death at all, the only thing I'm worried about is you.

So, Lin Du, live well, live well with my hope.

I will go to heaven to find your first baby, and I will protect him well, so you must live well.

You know I love beauty, so every spring from now on, you must send me a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers.

Remember, this happens every year, so don’t be lazy.

Baby, I love you! Please be free for me!

Tears fell, wetting the suicide note in my hands.

Qin Chang's suicide note must have been prepared long ago. He must have been afraid that something unexpected might happen to him someday, so he wrote it in advance.

Lin Du held the suicide note against his chest, his hands clenched tightly, his knuckles turned white, and his chest was in great pain.

That silent cry was his sorrow and resentment towards the injustice of God.

Gu Lianchi took care of everything and came to pick up Lin Du. Sitting in the car, Wen Qing, who had not seen him for a long time, nodded at Lin Du.

Lin Du leaned against the car, stroking his abdomen with both hands. He was so tired that he had no strength left in his body.

Groggy, he closed his eyes reluctantly.

Gu Jinchi signaled Wen Qing to drive slower and carefully held Lin Du's body in his arms.

Gu Jinchi lowered his eyes and brushed the corners of Lin Du's red eyes with his fingertips.

Seeing Lin Du's hands protecting his belly the whole time, Gu Xinchi felt uncomfortable. He thought Lin Du must love this child very much.

If, and if there were any ifs, he wanted to raise this child well together with Lin Du.

He will pour all his love into them and give them everything he has.

But, is there any if?

He hated him...