Chapter 178 If loving me will make you suffer, then you should hate me

Lin Du picked some flowers in the store today, and he planned to go see Qin Chang.

Recently, Gu Nichi's dependence on him has exceeded what he can bear.

He wanted to hide, but was afraid of hurting Gu Xinchi's feelings.

He wanted to find someone to talk to, but Chu Xu was obviously not the right person, as he was also in a very difficult situation.

After putting the flowers away, Lin Du cleaned the surrounding environment out of habit.

Sitting next to Qin Chang, Lin Du was silent for a long time.

I obviously have a lot to say, but when I saw Qin Chang's photo, all I felt was sadness.

"Qin Chang, everyone who hurt you has received the punishment they deserved, but I can't be happy at all." Lin Du choked up, "I wish you were alive."

"You know what? It was Gu Nichi who made those bad guys receive the punishment they deserved, so you should forgive him a little."

"Qin Chang, are you relieved now?" Lin Du stroked Qin Chang's photo. He was trying hard to smile, but his eyes were still wet with tears.

"Qin Chang, what do you think I should do now?" Lin Du leaned on Qin Chang's tombstone, as if looking for support. "I am still alive, but I feel like I am dead. I don't have any expectations for anything. I feel so tired every time I open my eyes."

"Every day I face a person whom I love but dare not love. The pain and torture make me exhausted both physically and mentally."

"Sometimes I wonder if I could be more selfish and get rid of all this pain."

"But I can't do it, so I deserve to suffer alone."

Lin Du sighed and slowly closed his eyes: "Qin Chang, I really miss you. You are so mean. You don't even come into my dreams. Don't you miss me?"

As night fell, he turned and left reluctantly.

The weather today is extremely gloomy, just like Lin Du's mood.

Today is the anniversary of his first child's death, so he bought some candies and other snacks that children love.

After returning home, Lin Du put the snacks in front of Gu Xingxing and said, "Xingxing, can you help me pass these things to your..." Lin Du paused and shook his head bitterly. He didn't even know whether his first child was a boy or a girl.

Sniffing, Lin Du managed to force a smile: "Xingxing, if you can meet a kid who looks like you, please pass these things to him."

"Tell him I'm sorry..."

"Dad won't let you help him for nothing." Lin Du peeled off a candy and placed it in front of Gu Xingxing, "Dad will treat you to candy."

Lin Du peeled a candy and put it in his mouth. This was his biggest luxury when he was a child.

When I was a child, I thought that children who could eat milk candy must be very happy.

But why does it taste so bitter?

"You guys..." Lin Du took a deep breath and tried to catch his breath. "You should be more careful next time you reincarnate. I, your father, just had a bad fate. I didn't expect you to be the same as me."

Lin Du raised his lips in self-mockery: "It's also possible that I, the unlucky one, brought bad luck to you, so don't choose me next time."

Gu Niechi returned home. He looked from afar at Lin Duxiao, who was squatting next to Gu Xingxing and hugging him. He walked over with forbearance.

Lin Du heard the footsteps and wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.

He raised his head with a frown on his face, but his red eyes were so glaring.

Gu Xinchi couldn't bear to expose him, and rubbed his head lovingly: "Xingxing, look how good your father Lin Du is to you, buying you so many delicious foods."

Lin Du pinched his fingers and peeled off a candy: "Do you want to eat it?"

Gu Yanchi hummed softly and put the candy into his mouth. He frowned slightly. Shouldn't the candy be very sweet?

After washing up, Lin Du didn't feel sleepy at all.

He sat by the window, staring at a certain place in a daze.

Sorrow falls like night, a lonely shadow shrouds my heart. I sigh for the impermanence of the world, and am only disturbed by the wind.

The pain I felt ten years ago was so long ago, but the pain has not diminished at all.

Covered in blood, groaning in pain, struggling in despair...

Everything is still vivid in my mind, as if it happened just yesterday.

Lin Du hugged himself unconsciously. It was a hot summer day, but he felt cold all over.

Gu Niechi walked over, pulled him up, and let him sit on his lap.

He stroked his shoulder gently, frowning slightly: "Why do you feel so cold? Are you cold?"

Lin Du shook his head and looked at Gu Anchi with eyes full of complexity.

Did I owe this man a lot in my entire life?

So do I have to pay it back with two little lives and a lifetime of pain?

Gu Yanchi hugged Lin Du tightly, always feeling that he was weird today.

Obviously, he was fine before. Even though he was just trying to please himself, at least he wasn't as depressed as he is today.

I always feel that there is an inexplicable sadness hidden in his eyes, which is deep-rooted and cannot be erased.

"What are you looking at?" Gu Yinchi rubbed Lin Du's neck and tried to change the subject.

"To see the scenery." Lin Du said casually.

Gu Niechi sighed lightly. It was pitch dark outside so what kind of scenery could he see? "Are you in a bad mood today? You didn't even wait for me at the flower shop to go home with me."

"I went to look for you, but you weren't there. I was sad for a long time..."

Lin Du closed his eyes, trying his best to endure the indescribable pain: "I'm a little tired today, so I came back first."

Gu Xinchi lifted Lin Du's chin and asked him to look at him: "Lin Du, if you have something on your mind, you must tell me. No matter what it is, I will help you solve it."

Lin Du looked at the man in front of him and took the initiative to touch his cheek.

There are some things that no one can solve.

It is said that time does not make people forget the pain, but makes people accustomed to the pain.

This statement is absolutely true. If it hurts, it hurts. How can you forget such a deep and unforgettable pain?

If something can be forgotten, it probably doesn't hurt.

Gu Jinchi was surprised by Lin Du's initiative, but also felt sorry for his deliberate forbearance.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and felt the warmth of Lin Du's palm: "Lin Du, you know that I only have you now."

"So don't hide anything from me."

Lin Du felt like he had something stuck in his throat. How could he tell him that Gu Xingxing was not the only child they had lost?

Such pain can be borne by one person alone, why should he be dragged into the pain together?

"Gu Nienchi, please hug me..."

Lin Du's voice was very soft, but Gu Jingchi could hear it very clearly.

He hugged the person in his arms without a moment's hesitation. Lin Du's abnormal reaction today made him extremely panicked.

The tighter he hugged her, the emptier he felt.

"Lin Du, don't leave me, you are all I have..." Gu Nichi begged, "If loving me will make you suffer, then just hate me..."

Lin Du buried his face in Gu Lianchi's arms. He sighed. He used to think that he was a stubborn person, but he didn't expect that Gu Lianchi was the same.

I have already said that I don't hate him, why don't you believe me?

Wen Qing, who was far away in Lin Du's hometown, couldn't imagine it when he was halfway through the investigation. If Gu Yanchi knew that Lin Du had lived like this before, how distressed he would be.